Accidentally in Love
by happysunshine01
Summary: When Hotch and JJ met ten years earlier they never expected any of their lives to be they way they are now. As JJ is dealing with a devastating past that haunts her every single day, Hotch is living the life he always dreamed about when he was younger. But when their worlds collide again, they could have never expected that this was going to be the outcome.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is a story that has been going through my head for a really long time. I haven't written much of it yet so I can't promise that the updates will be as regularly as my other stories. I will make sure that I will update at least once a week. I don't want there to be a longer period between updates. Right now, I want to finish my other story first. I know this chapter is really short but I would like to know if this story is worth continuing. The prologue is when Hotch and JJ see each other for the first time after ten years.**

**I want to thank MollyR for being so amazing! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

''There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.''

**Gretchen Kemp**

* * *

**Prologue**

Before she could finish her sentence to the nurse standing next to her bed, the door to the examination room opened.

She suddenly lost all of her words. Not only did she lose her words, she lost her coordination. He gave her the exact same feeling as he did ten years ago. She never thought about the possibility of seeing him again. The man, who used to make her lose her footing was standing a few feet away from her. How could she prepare herself? Prepare herself to see the man who meant everything to her when she was just a teenager. The man that made her feel things she had never experienced before. And even now he affected her as much as he had in the past.

Their gazes met and locked, pulling her back into the reality of the situation. A wave of emotion and old feelings hit her. She felt utterly powerless. How could she still feel this way? She had been all over the world. She had her romantic flings, she dated and she had met someone else. But how was it possible to have those feelings resurface or let alone feel them the exact same way, or even more impossible, feel them multiplied by ten times.

Nothing had changed about him. Sure, he was more mature but he was even more handsome if he possibly could be. His features had definitely matured over the years, which wasn't a surprise to her. His dark eyes radiated the same warmth as they used to.

Looking at her he felt like he was back in his twenties again. His eyed traced along the delicate features of the woman who had meant the world to him. He suddenly felt like he could faint. He almost lost his footing when she stared back at him. Her piercing blue eyes looked so different. The joy was replaced by pain. God, she was sexy. She still had the same look but there was also something really different about her. Her piercing blue eyes seemed to hold all the mysteries of the world along with pain and suffering in them. Those eyes used to be filled with joy. Back then, he had known each part of her face and body. He actually believed he had known her and that he still would if he ever saw her again. But she just seemed different in a mysterious way. It looked like her innocence was shattered and she looked broken in every meaning of the word.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the next chapter to this story. I went back in time when JJ and Hotch were younger. The first part of this story will show how they meet and what will happen between them. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Twilightangell, 14hpgirl19, Jotch and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Back in time**

**10 years earlier…**

Crestwood High School…

JJ walked out of her high school. It was a Friday afternoon and she was happy that she finally had a weekend. She was in her senior year of high school and she only had four more months to go before she was graduating. Her grades and school record was outstanding which meant she had nothing to worry about. JJ turned around when she heard an familiar voice yell out her name.

''JJ.'' Samantha yelled.

''Hey Sam. How was your history class?'' JJ asked when her friend was catching up with her.

''The same as always. I fell asleep halfway through Mr. Fergins' speech. I hate school. I am so glad when we can finally go off to college.'' Sam said.

''Sam, do you think college will be more fun than high school. Because last time I checked, you still have to study and go to classes when you are in college.'' JJ said.

''Of course I know that but college guys are so much cuter.''

''Since when are college guys cuter?'' JJ asked because she didn't get her friends reasoning.

''Since forever. Look JJ, I know you aren't interested in guys but I really think that you need a guy in your life.'' Sam said because she knew JJ had never had a boyfriend or someone even close to a boyfriend.

''Sam, I just turned 18. I am not 40. Plus my parents would never allow it. You know that.'' JJ said while thinking about her parents. She was never allowed to do anything without them knowing where she was.

''I do know but you need some fun in your life. You are always to serious about everything. Oh, look Vicky and Alex!'' Sam said when she spotted her two other friends.

JJ looked across the parking lot and she saw Alexandra and Vicky in the little park. She had been friends with Sam, Alex and Vicky since she was a young girl. They were her best friends and they were there for her through everything.

''Alex!'' JJ yelled.

''Vicky!'' Sam yelled.

JJ and Sam ran towards their friends when they had spotted each other. JJ saw that Alex and Vicky were looking really happy and she knew it meant that a cute guy probably asked them out.

''So, which guy asked you out?'' JJ asked Alex.

''No one asked me out but we did get invited to a party at Georgetown tonight. This is going to be so awesome'' Alex said happily.

''Wait, how do you want to get into a party. We are too young.'' JJ commented.

''Don't worry JJ. I took care of the fake ID's.'' Vicky said quickly.

''Oh, we need to do some shopping.'' Sam added.

''The party starts at 10 pm. The drive is about fifteen minutes. We should meet at my house to get ready. How about 7 pm at my house?'' Sam asked.

''Yeah.'' Alex said.

''Count me in.'' Vicky added.

''My parents will never let me go.'' JJ said and she knew it was the truth. Ever since her sister died, her parents became overly involved in JJ's life and they would interfere with everything. JJ told her parents that she wanted to study criminology or criminal justice but her parents didn't agree. They wanted her to go to Howard University to become a dentist because that always used to be her sister's dream. JJ was tired of trying to live up to her sister.

''Oh come on JJ. You have to come with us. Have some fun. It will do you some good.'' Sam said with determination.

''Sam is right. You have to come.'' Vicky said convincingly while she was looking for the keys to her car.

''Didn't you say that there was this kind of introduction night at Howard University?'' Sam asked.

''Yeah, but I am not going to tell my parents. Well, I honestly think they already know. It is their dream college for me.'' JJ said somberly while she sat down in the backseat next to Sam.

''Just say that you are going there and that you can meet up with them tomorrow. They can give you the tour or something. It will make them happy and you get to go out with us.'' Alex explained.

''Wow, that is a master-plan. But where am I supposed to sleep?'' JJ asked while nodding her head at her friends' plan.

''Oh good one.'' Vicky commented.

''Maybe you meet a guy and you finally get some action in your life. I would be a huge thing.'' Sam joked, knowing that JJ hated it when she teased her.

''Sam!'' JJ yelled.

''Ah, I am just joking. What about if we all stay at a hotel or something? We can split the costs. We can make it an entire night'' Sam suggested.

''I am in.'' Vicky said while she was pulling up in front of JJ's house.

''Me too.'' Alex added

''JJ?'' Alex asked.

''Okay. I am coming with you guys. But I am not going to drink or wear something to short.'' JJ said and she stepped out of the car and turned around to face her three excited friends.

''I will see you guys at 7 pm.'' JJ said.

JJ made her way to the front door after she said goodbye to her friends. She pulled the keys from her backpack and she opened the door. JJ walked inside her house and she walked into the kitchen to get some water. She knew her parents were still at work, so she went to her bedroom to look in her closet for something to wear when she was going out with her friends. JJ was really excited to go out and escape the tension she lived with every single day.

* * *

Georgetown University…

Aaron was sitting behind his desk in his dorm. He sighed deeply when he finally finished his assignment that was due next Monday. He was happy that it was finally weekend, so he could blow of some steam. He couldn't wait to see Haley again. They hadn't seen each other in two weeks. Aaron decided to go to Georgetown University to get his Law degree and Haley wanted to go to New-York University. Aaron and Haley had been together since high school and when they both went to different colleges they decided to keep their relationship going. Aaron was in his last year of college and he was already excited about the internship he had gotten in DA's office in Washington. It was his dream to work in the justice system. The last thing he had to do was graduate this year and he would have everything he could have dreamed of and he was only 22 years old.

Aaron rose from his chair when there was the knock on the door he had been waiting for all this time. He really loved Haley and he thought she was the love of his life, even though she was the first woman he had ever been with. He had never been interest in any other women because he had always been happy with Haley.

He opened the door and he saw that Haley looked really different. She seemed sad in way and it made him worry.

''Hey! How are you? Oh my god, I have missed you so much.'' Hotch said and he walked closer to kiss her but Haley held her hand up and Hotch stepped back.

''We need to talk, Aaron.'' Haley said seriously.

''Okay, what do you want to talk about?'' Hotch asked with worry and he sat down on his small bed and he watched Haley sit down in his chair.

''I think we need to talk about us.'' Haley said softly and Hotch saw that she was pulling away from him.

''Haley, what is going on? You seem extremely nervous about something'' Hotch said.

''I want to break up.''

''What? Why? We love each other. Why would we break up? We almost made it.'' Hotch said stunned and he had no idea why Haley came with this so out of the blue.

''I just can't do this anymore. I feel like we have changed too much. We just grew apart, Aaron. It is over. I want different things. You want to stay here in DC and I want to stay and live in New-York. It is never going to work.''

''We can at least try.'' Hotch said and he felt furious.

''I am sorry. I am going back. It is over Aaron.'' Haley said and she walked out of the dorm because Hotch was still speechless. He couldn't believed what had just happened. The woman he wanted to spent the rest of his live with, just broke up with him.

He rose from his chair and he picked up his phone to text one of his best friends. He was invited to a party at the campus and he said no at first because he wanted to spent his night with Haley but he had nothing else to do and he just wanted to forget everything that happened.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating for a while but I have had some trouble with my laptop. I want to try and update daily. I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to Jimmelfan12, Jotchprossi18, 14hpgirl19, Twilightangell and samcarter1980.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 2: The party**

Crestwood…

JJ heard the front door open and she knew that her father and mother were home. Both of her parents were dentists and they owned their own practice in Crestwood. It was their dream for her to become a dentist as well. Her sister always talked about taking over their parents' practice but JJ didn't want to be a dentist. She had always wanted different things but when her sister died there was a lot her parents disagreed on with her. JJ just wanted to be herself and follow her own dream instead of the dream that her parents had planned out for her.

JJ walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Both of her parents were sitting at the dinner table with a drink. JJ sat down in one of the chairs across from them and she was making herself ready to lie about what she was really going to do tonight. She knew that lying was her only option and she didn't like it but she just wanted to have one night of fun without her parents checking her every move.

''Hey JJ! How was school today?'' Emma Jareau asked.

''It was okay. I made soccer captain.'' JJ said proudly and she saw her parents' face turn immediately. JJ knew her parents hated it that she played soccer but it was one of the things that offered her some freedom and she wasn't willing to give it up.

''I think your mom meant if you got your grade on that essay for English literature.'' Eric Jareau said intensely.

''Oh, yeah. I had a B.'' JJ said.

''What? Why didn't you get an A?'' Emma Jareau asked.

''Mom! I am fine with a B. I worked my ass off on that stupid essay and I am okay with a B.'' JJ said loudly.

''JJ, we talked to you about this. If you want to get into Howard University, you need be a straight A student. You will not get there with B's.'' Eric said.

JJ wanted to yell that she didn't want to go to that school but she kept herself together and she let her parents just dream on about what they wanted for her. JJ knew that there was going to be a day when she just couldn't live with her parents anymore.

''Okay. About Howard University, there is this introduction for students tonight. You get to sleep over in the dorms. I would like to go.'' JJ said and she saw her parents' faces lit up at her comment.

''I read about that. I didn't know you wanted to go.'' Eric stated.

''Of course I want to. I thought that you guys might like to pick me up tomorrow and you can give me tour of the rest of the place.'' JJ suggested.

''That would be nice.'' Emma said.

''Thanks. I will be gone around 6:45 pm. I will see you tomorrow.'' JJ said and she ran up to her room before her parents could say anything else or ask her anymore questions about her plans.

JJ looked at her watch and it was 6 pm already. She took a long shower and washed her hair. When she got out of the shower she blow-dried her hair. She quickly changed and packed a bag with clothes. She knew she was probably going to borrow clothes from Sam because she didn't have any nice clothes herself because her parents didn't allow her to wear shorter or to revealing clothes. JJ was never interested in wearing any of those clothes but she would like to be able to wear a tank top or put on a skinny jeans every once in a while. There had been a lot of times when JJ would change her clothes in the car on the way to school. The clothes she liked and owned were all at Sam's house in case her parents would ever find them because they would go ballistic.

JJ walked downstairs and quickly said goodbye to her parents before leaving the house to go to Sam. She mostly walked to her Sam's house because it was only ten minutes away. JJ had her driver's license but she didn't have enough money saved up to buy a car of her own.

JJ finally reached the house and she was let in by Sam. They walked into her room and she saw that Alex and Vicky weren't there yet.

''So, do you have anything to wear?'' Sam asked.

''No, not really. I was hoping that I could borrow something from you.'' JJ said and she watched as Sam opened the doors to her closet.

''I think something like this will look amazing on you.'' Sam said as she pulled out a mini-length one shouldered black dress.

''That is an amazing dress, Sam. Where did you get it?'' JJ asked as Sam handed her the dress.

''It was my sister's prom dress but I think it will look even better on you. You just need some make-up and a pair high heels and you will be all done.'' Sam said happily when she saw that JJ was starting to change.

''Thanks Sam. I love this dress. Do you have a pair of heels for me?'' JJ asked and she stepped in front of the mirror to see how the dress looked on her.

''Wow, you look amazing. The guys are going to be drooling all over you.''

''Sam! You really need to stop joking about guys. I told you that I don't need one in my life.'' JJ said, knowing that Sam was never going to stop talking about it.

Sam was about to say something to JJ when the doorbell rang. They both made their way to the front door and Sam let Vicky and Alex inside. They were both already dressed in clothes for the party.

''Oh my god! JJ, you look amazing.'' Alex said happily as she looked at JJ in the dress.

''Amazing? Are you kidding? She looks hot. It is really good to see you in something else than your sweaters and huge jeans.'' Vicky added and JJ started to blush from the compliments she was getting.

''Thanks guys.'' JJ said thankfully.

The girls made their way back to Sam's bedroom. They all got ready and they talked for another two hours before they had to leave. JJ was happy that she had such amazing friends. Sam would always be JJ's best friend. They really grew up together. Sam and JJ had known each other since they were babies. Sam and JJ were also on the soccer team together. When JJ made captain the same day, Sam was happy for her. JJ didn't know what she would do without her best friends. They were the only people who really understood her when her parents didn't. JJ had been having a hard time with her parents ever since her sister died when she was just eleven years old. JJ's sister had always been her parents' favorite and now they were trying to turn JJ into her sister and she wasn't planning on letting that happen.

It was around 10.00 pm when they finally left. They took Sam's car and left for the party. They were all excited to get out of Crestwood and to do something exciting. JJ was already feeling self-aware in the dress before they even stepped from the car but her friends kept reassuring her that she looked good and that she needed to stop whining.

* * *

Georgetown University…

Hotch was already at the party and he had already started drinking. He wanted to forget about Haley and their break-up. He still couldn't believe it when he thought about it. He looked around and he knew it was probably going to become even busier. The party was held in a couple of dorm rooms and he knew from experience that there were always more people coming than the amount of people that were invited. Hotch was startled when one of his friends jumped in front of him.

''Damn it, Mike!'' Hotch said with irritation in his voice.

''Geez. Calm down, Aaron!'' Mike said when he noticed that his friend was angry with him.

''It is fine. I am just not having the best day.'' Hotch tried to explain and he sat down in one of the chairs.

''So, you are still thinking about Haley, huh? Maybe a rebound will help! There are enough hot girls here.'' Mike said to try and cheer Hotch up.

''I am not looking for a rebound. Haley is the love of my life, Mike. I don't know how I am supposed to let that go.''

''I am sorry to say this but you have only been with one girl in your entire life. How can you know that she is the one?'' Mike asked, knowing that he was right.

''Just let it go. I am taking my beer and I am going to sit outside. I am going crazy with this music.'' Hotch said and he rose from his chair. Hotch made his way through the dorm and into the hallway. When he was outside he started walking around the campus and he made his way to a small park and he sat down under one of the trees.

JJ was walking outside to get some air. She had been dancing with some guys and with her friends but the loud music was becoming too much for her. She slowly made her way to the small park and she noticed someone sitting against a tree. The guy caught her attention immediately. He was ridiculously handsome and JJ felt like her knees could go weak. She had never had that reaction to a guy before and it felt really strange to her. She wanted to talk to him but she was too shy for it so she kept walking until he suddenly started talking to her.

''Hi, there!'' Hotch greeted and he stood up from the ground after greeting JJ. He had been looking at her when he saw her walking around campus. She had caught his eyes inside and he just felt like she was a magnet. She was an extremely pretty girl and her short black dress looked sexy on her but it wasn't too much. Her long legs looked amazing. She had an innocence about her that drew him to her. The moment he locked eyes with her, he was blown away by her piercing blue eyes.

''Hey'' JJ greeted back and she took a few steps backwards when he walked closer to her.

''It is okay. I won't hurt you, I promise.'' Hotch said when he saw her backing away.

''Sorry, I am just careful, you know.'' JJ tried to explain but he held his hands up to let her know that he understood.

''So, what are you doing out here?'' JJ asked curiously as her eyes traveled from his toes to his head. He was wearing jeans with a black shirt and she knew he looked amazing in simple clothes.

''I came out here get some air.'' Hotch said.

''Yeah, me too.'' JJ added and she finally took a step closer. She saw a smile appear on his face and she noticed that he had the sweetest dimples.

''Do you come here more often?'' Hotch asked.

''No…I mean…yes…of course.'' JJ lied because she didn't know if she would scare him away if she would tell him that she was still in high school. She suddenly felt stupid about her lie because she had never lied to a guy before because she was afraid that he would think differently. But there was something about him that made her heart beat faster.

''Do you live in on campus?'' He asked.

''No, I live in Crestwood with my parents.'' she replied.

''Do you want to sit down?'' Hotch asked as he looked to the three.

''Yeah, that would be nice.'' JJ said and she followed him towards the three and she sat down next to him.

''Oh, I am Aaron by the way!'' he suddenly said when he realized that he hadn't even introduced himself to her.

''I am JJ.'' she said and she gave Hotch a small smile.

''You live on campus?'' JJ asked curiously, wanting to know more about the handsome stranger she was sitting next to.

''I do. I am actually in my last year and I am so glad when I can finally leave this place. The college life isn't meant for me anymore.'' Hotch answered.

''I get it. I guess, everyone is acting out.''

''You guess?'' Hotch asked surprised.

''I mean, I know. You know. Wow, I am rambling. I am so sorry.''

''It is fine. I find it extremely cute'' he complemented and he saw JJ blush.

''Good to know.'' JJ said happily.

''Do you always walk outside alone at this time?'' Hotch asked.

''Sometimes. Whenever I am having a bad day it always helps to be outside or to play soccer. At least it works for me.'' JJ replied.

''Soccer, huh?''

''Yeah! Soccer! It probably seems weird to a guy that a girl can play soccer.'' JJ said.

''What does your boyfriend think about you walking alone at night?'' Hotch asked because he wanted to know if she had a boyfriend. He suddenly realized that he and Haley just broke up and he decided to take it slow but there was something about her.

''I don't have a boyfriend. Why?''

''Because you should be careful and someone needs to look out for you.'' Hotch said as an excuse.

''I can defend myself. I promise.'' JJ said happily.

''Do you want to go inside and get a drink with me?'' Hotch asked.

''Yeah of course.'' JJ replied.

Hotch was already standing up and he helped JJ up by holding her hands and pulling her up from the ground.

''Thanks.'' JJ said thankfully and she was surprised by Hotch. She always thought that the hot guys weren't nice but she knew she might be wrong. And she realized she might have met the one exception.

When they were inside, JJ looked around to see if she could find her friends but they were nowhere. She walked towards the drinks and she grabbed a beer from Hotch's hands. He suddenly dragged her to the dance floor and they started dancing together. JJ was having a lot of fun and she was getting lost in his eyes while she moved to the music. He was keeping some distance between them, which made JJ feel more comfortable.

They stayed the together the rest of the night. There was dancing and a lot of drinking. JJ suddenly didn't realize that she was on the verge of being drunk and had passed out in one of the chairs. Hotch didn't know what to do at first. He didn't want to leave her like that, so he decided to take JJ with him to his dorm because he knew that Mike was probably somewhere else with a girl. Hotch put an arm around JJ and he carried her with him across campus and to his own dorm. Once he made it there, he put her down on Mike's bed and he put the blankets over her. He changed into his sweatpants and he crawled into his own bed as well because he was really tired.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I want to thank everyone who has been following, reviewing, reading and putting this story on their favorite list. I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, 14hpgirl19 and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 3: New feelings**

JJ was slowly waking up and she felt the aching pain in her head. She had no idea what happened to cause a bad headache. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw that she was in a strange place. She sat up quickly and she threw the blankets off her. She looked over at the other bed in the room and she saw a guy with black hair, not remembering who he was and she started to panic. She noticed her pursue on the floor and she picked it up. She grabbed her phone and she dialed Sam's number.

''_Hello!'' _Sam said hoarsely from the other side of the line.

''Sam?'' JJ asked in a whisper because she didn't want to wake the guy up.

''_JJ! Where the hell have you been?'' _

''I don't know. I just woke up in a strange bed inside a dorm room. I have no idea who the guy in the other bed is.'' JJ tried to explain and she heard her best friend laugh.

''_You were probably drunk most of the night. Do you remember anything?'' _

''I remember that I went outside to get some air and then I went to the little park and I met….him.'' JJ said as she looked at Hotch and the memory of their first conversation rushed back to her. She only couldn't remember what she had done the rest of the night.

''_Him? Who is him?'' _

''Some guy. Can you pick me up before we go back home?'' JJ asked.

''_Aren't you supposed to be at Howard University in thirty minutes to meet your parents?''_

''Oh, crap! It is 9 am. I have to go Sam. I will call you later. Bye.'' JJ said quickly and she grabbed all of her stuff. She didn't see her shoes anywhere, so she kept looking through the room. She was pacing up and down the room when she stumbled over a stack of books.

''Shit!'' JJ said loudly as she collided with the ground.

Hotch woke up immediately when he heard the swearing and he saw JJ down on the ground. He saw that she was trying to get up. Hotch jumped from his bed immediately and he rushed to her side to help her get up.

''Let me help you.'' Hotch said kindly and he helped JJ up by holding her arms.

''Thank you!'' JJ said and she turned around to see Hotch standing in his sweatpants without a shirt. JJ's cheeks turned red when she looked at his chest and she knew that Hotch noticed it.

''Sorry. I will put on a sweater.'' Hotch said as he quickly grabbed a sweater and pulled it over his head.

''I…I…I..'' JJ tried to say but she just couldn't find the words because the butterflies were in her stomach.

''You?'' Hotch asked softly.

''I…I have to go. I have to go now.'' JJ said quickly and she grabbed her stuff and she made her way to the door.

''Why?'' Hotch asked as he followed her to the door.

''I have to meet my parents in less than thirty minutes at Howard University. They will kill me if don't get there in time.'' JJ said and she saw a questionable look appear on his face.

''Wait!'' Hotch said when he saw that JJ still wanted to leave.

JJ turned around to wait for him to ask a question. She locked her eyes with his and she got lost for a couple of seconds before she looked away.

''I can bring you. I have my car and it is only a fifteen minute drive. We can leave in ten minutes and you will still be in time.'' Hotch suggested.

''You really don't have to.''

''I insist. Let me get changed and then we can leave.'' Hotch said and he disappeared into the bathroom after he took some clothes from his dresser.

JJ thanked him a couple of more times while he was changing. JJ suddenly thought about her own clothes and she realized she couldn't show up in her dress to meet her parents and she started to panic again.

Hotch came out of the room when he noticed that JJ looked nervous again. He had no idea what was going on with her and why she was so on edge but he didn't mind to help her.

''JJ, what is it?'' Hotch asked.

''My clothes.'' JJ said as she looked at the black dress she was wearing. She looked at Hotch and she saw his eyes flow over her body.

Hotch looked at her and he wanted to tell her that she looked amazing and beautiful in the dress but he decided to keep himself from flirting with her.

''You look fine.'' Hotch commented.

''Yeah, for a party but not to meet my parents. Shit! What the hell was I thinking about going out with my friends. Damn it!'' JJ said loudly and she let herself drop down on Hotch's bed.

''What is going on?'' Hotch asked curiously.

''Well, my parents will freak out when they find out that I went to a party last night because I told them that I was going to Howard University.'' JJ tried to explain and she knew that Hotch wasn't going to understand.

''Why would they freak out? Don't they know that you go here? To Georgetown?'' Hotch asked.

''Oh god. I am so sorry but I lied to you yesterday.''

''About what?''

''I am not in college. I am still in high school. I am in my senior year and I turned eighteen three weeks ago. I am so sorry. I will leave.'' JJ said and she rose from the bed to make her way to the door but she was stopped when she felt a wrist on her hand.

''What?'' JJ asked.

''Where are you going?''

''I was about to leave because I thought you would hate me for lying to you.'' JJ said and she walked back into the room.

''Of course not. You could have told me that you were in high school. I don't care.''

''Good. I was afraid that you would think I was too young. How old are you?''

''I am 22. I hope you think I am not too old.'' Hotch joked.

''No! Of course not.'' JJ said seriously because she didn't realize that he was making a joke.

''I was joking, JJ.''

''Okay. I didn't get it, sorry!''

''Oh and I have some clothes for you to wear. I don't know if it will fit but you can try.'' Hotch said as he picked the jeans and shirt from his dresser that belonged to Haley.

''Thanks. Why do you have girls clothes?'' JJ asked curiously.

''They are from my roommate. He has a lot of girls over.'' Hotch lied and he watched as JJ disappeared into the bathroom.

Hotch sat down in the chair behind his desk. He couldn't believe that he was liking JJ so much. He was still devastated about Haley but when he was around JJ, he just didn't think about her. There was something about JJ that had him hooked. It was like he needed to get to know her. He also couldn't believe that she was still in high school because she looked really mature for her age.

JJ appeared from the bathroom in the jeans and the white shirt. She had put on her jacket over it. The clothes were a little too big but it was better than the black dress. She knew her parents would scream at her if they saw her wearing a dress like that.

''It is a little too big but it is better than nothing. Thank you, Aaron.'' JJ said and she gave him a small smile and he returned it.

''Come on, we should get going before you are too late.'' Hotch said and he rose from the chair and he handed JJ her purse and shoes.

They walked across the campus to the parking lot. Hotch opened the door of his car for JJ and he jumped in after her. He drove away quickly. They were both silent during most of the drive because neither of them knew what to say. JJ wanted to see him again but she didn't know how to ask or tell him. Hotch wanted to see JJ as well but he was wondering if it was smart for him to get into something new just after he and Haley had broken up.

He pulled up in a parking lot of Howard University. He gave JJ a last look and he knew she was about to step from the car when he suddenly told himself that he didn't care about his break-up with Haley. He just realized that he couldn't let a girl like JJ walk away.

''Can I have your number?'' he asked boldly.

''Of course. Here, put it in.'' JJ said happily as she handed him her phone. She was happy that he asked because she knew that she would have never had the nerve to ask him herself.

''There you go. I will text or call you. I would love to see you again, JJ.'' Hotch said as he gave JJ her phone back.

''Yeah, I would like that. Thanks for the ride. I will see you.'' JJ said and she saw that Hotch was leaning into her and she knew he was about to kiss her. JJ leaned in as well but she pulled away when she noticed her parents' car driving onto the parking lot.

''Crap, they are here. I have to go. Thanks again and I will see you.'' JJ said and she got out of the car before Hotch could say anything to her.

He drove away after he saw JJ walking up to her parents. He took one last look at her and he couldn't believe that he had met her. He already liked her a lot and he barely knew her.

JJ quickly walked towards her parents after she stepped out of Hotch's car. She felt really good and she knew it was because of Hotch. He gave her butterflies and that was a feeling she had never known before. Sure, she liked some guys and she thought some were attractive but she had never felt the same around any of them as she felt around Hotch and that surprised her. She didn't know what her feelings meant. She was always against dating guys while she was still in high school but Hotch seemed worth it to her and she wasn't planning on letting him go easily because she knew that there was something there.

''Hey Mom. Dad.'' JJ greeted and she saw right away that her parents looked really happy.

''So, give me the tour of the place.'' JJ said and she faked a smile of excitement for her parents.

JJ spent most of her morning and part of the afternoon with her parents. JJ didn't like the University at all but she pretended to like it because she didn't want to get into a fight with her parents over it. She knew she needed to tell them some day that she wasn't planning on going to Howard University and she knew it would shatter their dreams but JJ had dreams of her own and they didn't involve becoming a dentist. JJ was relieved when they were finally home and she went to her own bedroom immediately. When she got there, she received a text from Sam telling her that she, Alex and Vicky were on their way over to JJ's place.

The doorbell rang a few minutes later and JJ stormed downstairs to open up the door for her friends. She opened the door and she saw that Sam had her bag with her and they all quickly made their way upstairs before JJ's parents could do or say anything.

''What are you guys doing here?'' JJ asked happily.

''We heard from Sam that you met a guy last night and we didn't want to wait until Monday to hear about it. So spill!'' Alex said excitedly.

''Thanks, Sam.'' JJ said as a joke to her friend.

''Come on! We need to hear about him! Was he cute?'' Sam asked.

''Oh, was he hot? God, let him be hot.'' Vick sighed deeply.

''Well, he is really sweet. He is tall. He has dark hair and brown eyes. And he has the cutest dimples when he smiles. But he is also really sweet and kind.'' JJ told her friends.

''You seem to really like him.'' Vicky said.

''You have never talked about a guy like this before. When are you seeing him again?'' Sam asked.

''He has my number, so I will see.'' JJ replied and she heard her phone buzzing. She jumped from her bed and she took her phone from her desk. She opened the text and she smiled when she noticed the name under it.

_Hey JJ,_

_I hope this isn't to quickly but I had a lot of fun last night. I want to see you again. I was hoping that you have some time tomorrow. I would like to take you out. Let me know!_

_Aaron_

''Speak of the devil.'' JJ said happily.

She sat back down on the bed and she let her friends read the text. They talked about JJ and Hotch the rest of the afternoon. JJ noticed that her friends were extremely happy for her. She also felt happy herself and she couldn't wait to see him again. She decided to wait to text him after her friends left. They left when it was just time before dinner. JJ jumped back onto her bed and she was thinking about what she should text back.

Hotch was laying on his bed with a book in his hands when he his phone went off. He opened the text.

_Hey,_

_I would love to see you tomorrow. I am free the entire day. I will tell my parents that I am going to a friend. Just let me know where and when. BTW: I had a lot of fun as well._

_JJ_

A big smile appeared on his face and he texted back immediately. He gave her a time and place. He was already excited about their date. He didn't know if it was meant to be a date or just something between friends but he wanted it to be a date. He was worrying about the fact that he was barely thinking about Haley anymore and it made him realize that he might not have loved her as much as he thought he did. For now he was just looking forward to his date with JJ and he liked the excitement he was feeling.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: I would like to know if you guys think that I am taking their relationship at the right pace. I don't want it to go to slow but also not too fast. Let me know if I am doing this right. I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to bb's crazy, samcarter1980, Bitey11 and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: The first date**

JJ was looking through her closet to figure out what she was going to wear. She had no idea what Hotch was planning on doing. He only gave her a time and he had insisted on picking JJ up. JJ told him to pick her up at the end of the street because she didn't want her parents to know that she was going out. JJ went to Sam's this morning to borrow some clothes that she could wear. JJ didn't know if Hotch wanted it to be date or just something between two friends. JJ stopped thinking about what it all meant and she put her focus on what to wear. The nerves were going through her entire body because she had never been on a date before. All of her feelings were new to her and she never planned any of them.

She finally decided to wear a dark blue pair of skinny jeans and a long white shirt. She pulled her black cardigan from the closet and she put it on. She stepped into the grey ankle heels and she was relieved with her outfit. It was looking good but it wasn't too much at the same time. JJ quickly brushed her hair. She grabbed her bag on the way out of her bedroom and she softly but quickly made her way downstairs, hoping that her parents wouldn't notice her.

''JJ, are you going to Sam?'' Emma asked.

''Yes, mom. I will see you tonight.'' JJ said and she already had one foot out the door.

''Are those your shoes? What are you wearing?'' Emma asked.

''No mom. These are Sam's clothes. We exchanged clothes and I put them on for today. I have to go.'' JJ said and she closed the door behind her.

JJ walked to the end of her street and she saw that Hotch was already waiting for her. JJ started walking faster and the biggest smile appeared on her face when she saw that he saw smiling at her.

''Hey.'' JJ greeted as she saw that Hotch was stepping from his car.

''Hi. You look beautiful!'' Hotch said and he walked towards JJ to open the door for her.

JJ stepped in the car and she waited for Hotch to climb inside as well.

''Thank you. So, were are we going?'' JJ asked curiously. She was really excited to go out with him.

''It is a surprise. You will see it when we get there.'' Hotch said happily.

''Okay, I hope I can trust you. I barely know you.''

''You can. Can I trust you?'' Hotch asked.

''Yeah, you can.''

''Good. Did your parents say anything before you left?'' Hotch asked because from what JJ had told him, he knew that her parents were really strict.

''Of course. My mom noticed that I was wearing different clothes than I normally do.''

''Okay. Why are your parents so strict?''

''Well, it is a long story. Let's just say that I am never good enough for them. Everything I do can be done better. My grades are never good enough and the clothes I wear are too slutty according to them. I am just so happy when I get to go to college and start my own life instead of living up to their dreams.'' JJ explained and she knew it wasn't the entire story but she thought it was too soon for her to tell him about her sister.

''What do you do to make them so difficult?'' Hotch asked because he thought there had to be a good reason for JJ's parents' behavior.

''Absolutely nothing. Who do you think I am? A gangster or something?'' JJ joked.

''Well, I hope you are not.''

''There is no real reason. I am at the top of my class in high school. I am playing soccer and I just became captain, which they hate because they think that soccer takes away too much of my time.''

''Maybe they just worry about you.''

''Yeah, it is possible. Hey, are we going back to your dorm?'' JJ asked when she noticed that they were pulling up in the familiar parking lot.

''I don't know. Just follow me.'' Hotch said as he pulled the keys from the ignition and he stepped out of his car at the same time as JJ.

''I will.'' JJ said.

''I am going to blindfold you now.'' Hotch said and he showed JJ the blindfold.

''Ah, come on. I am uncomfortable enough.''

''Wow, so I am such bad company, huh?''

''I was kidding but I just hate surprises.'' JJ replied as Hotch stepped behind her and he put on the blindfold.

He took her hand and they started walking. Hotch helped JJ but she almost stumbled and he quickly held her by her waist to help her keep balance. He felt the sparks fly when she was so close to him. He held on to her until he was sure that she was okay.

''Thanks for that.'' JJ said and her heart was beating a mile a minute.

''Your welcome. I wouldn't want you to fall down.'' Hotch said.

They walked a few feet further until he stopped JJ.

''Wait one sec!'' Hotch said.

Hotch walked towards his friend to thank him for helping him to set up the date.

''Is that her?'' Mike asked when Hotch was standing next to him.

''Yeah.'' Hotch answered softly.

''She is hot, man. Good job!'' Mike complemented.

''Thanks for helping me with this.''

''Of course buddy. I will see you tonight.'' Mike said and he walked away.

Hotch walked back towards JJ and he stepped behind her to take of the blindfold. He heard JJ sigh heavily in anticipation.

JJ had her eyes closed when the blindfold was off. When she opened her eyes, her mouth dropped open in amazement. She was standing in the little park where they met the first night. She saw a blanket under the tree with a picnic basket on it. There were small candles lit around the blanket that gave enough light in the dusk. She couldn't believe that he had done that for her. The scene looked romantic and extremely beautiful. JJ was still looking astonished and she didn't know what to say.

''Do you like it?'' Hotch asked when JJ wasn't saying a word.

''Like it? More like, love it. Aaron, this is amazing. You didn't have to do all of this.'' JJ replied and she followed Hotch towards the blanket. They sat down next to each other on the blanket.

''I wanted to, JJ. I really like you and I know it sounds weird because we have only known each other for about one day.''

''Is this a date?'' JJ asked.

''I hope so. At least I want it to be but I have to be honest with you about something. I don't want you to get mad when I tell you this.'' Hotch said to JJ to let her know that what he was going to say wasn't easy at all.

''Okay, should I be worried?''

''No, definitely not. It is just that I broke up with my girlfriend Friday.'' Hotch said in all honesty because he wanted no secrets between them.

''Friday?'' JJ said and she suddenly felt a bit worried about everything and she didn't know what to say to him.

''Yeah. I want to be honest with you. I don't like secrets.''

''Okay. May I ask what happened?''

''Of course….Her name was Haley and I have known her since high school. We started dating when we were sixteen. After high school, Haley went to New-York University and I went to Georgetown and we decided to try a long distance relationship. It worked for four years until she visited Friday and she broke up with me.'' Hotch explained and he saw that JJ was really shocked to hear his sudden news.

''You were together for six years?'' JJ asked.

''Yes.''

''That is really long. Do you still love her? I mean, you loved her right?''

''Yeah, I still love her. I always thought that she was the one and that we would spend the rest of our lives together. But the thing is that when I am with you, I just seem to forget about her.'' Hotch said to answer JJ's question.

''Aaron…I…I…I don't know what to say. I just don't want to be your rebound.'' JJ said.

''JJ, you wouldn't be a rebound. Why don't we just see where this night goes?'' Hotch suggested.

''Okay. I just don't want to keep you away from someone you might still be in love with. I mean, I would think that it wouldn't be easy to get over someone you loved….love so much.'' JJ said.

''It is not. But you give me such a great feeling that I don't want to think about Haley anymore. I want to try this and if you don't want to, I understand.''

JJ stayed silent for some time. She was weighing all of her options. She liked him too much to just walk away from him without giving him a chance but she also didn't want her heart to get broken.

''Okay. We will see where this goes. I just don't want to get into something that can leave me hurt in the end. Are you ready for something? For anything?'' JJ asked curiously.

''I am ready to get to know you and to take this day by day.'' Hotch replied and he knew JJ liked his answer when he saw the smile appear on her face.

''Are you cold?'' Hotch asked.

''A bit.''

Hotch grabbed a blanket and he gently put it around JJ to keep her warm.

''Thanks. You are sweet.'' JJ said.

''Would you like to eat something?'' Hotch asked as he pulled the basket closer towards them.

''Yeah, I am hungry. What do you have?''

''I have sandwiches. I am sorry, it isn't much but I don't know what food you like and dislike. I barely know anything about you.'' Hotch said and he handed JJ one of the sandwiches.

''First of all, I love sandwiches. And second of all, let's do something about getting to know each other.''

''What did you have in mind?'' Hotch asked after he had taken a bite from his sandwich.

''We should give each other our likes and dislikes.''

''Okay. You should start.''

''Okay. I will start with my dislikes. How about we name ten of each?''

''Fine. Go ahead!'' Hotch said with anticipation.

''I dislike judgmental people, fights, strawberry ice-cream, history, dentists, being ill, crazy people, arrogant people and I really hate Howard University.'' JJ said.

''Okay. What are your likes?'' Hotch asked.

''Well, my likes are really easy. I like charming, sweet, handsome, romantic and amazing guys like you.'' JJ said.

''Sucking up are we?'' Hotch joked and he gave JJ a soft but playful push.

''Hey! I was just drinking and now my shirt is wet!'' JJ said loudly and she gave him a punch to the shoulder.

''Ouch! You have a good punch!'' Hotch said.

''Good. Now it is your turn.'' JJ said and she made herself ready to listen to him.

''I dislike sneaky people, people who think they are above everyone else, a break-up, exams, bad grades, teachers, liars, betrayal and cheesecake.'' Hotch said and he was about to continue when JJ interrupted him.

''Don't suck up to me. People don't like it. Believe me, I am speaking from experience.'' JJ joked.

''I like meeting pretty blonde girls, having a picnic, talking to a girl named Jennifer, surprising people, being around you, getting good grades, peace, looking at you, sucking up to you and I like to think about where this can go.'' Hotch said and he could see that JJ was blushing.

''Ah, that is sweet.'' JJ said.

''I can be so much sweeter. You will just have to stick around to see it.'' Hotch said.

''I will.'' JJ said to reassure him.

The time passed by so quickly and JJ wanted to freeze the time. She was having the best time of her life and she couldn't remember the last time that she talked to someone like she talked to Hotch. She looked at her watch and she knew it was time for her to go back home because she had school the next day.

''I have to go, Aaron. I am so sorry.'' JJ apologized.

''Don't apologize. I understand. Come on, let's go.'' Hotch said and he helped JJ up from the blanket.

When JJ was finally standing, she was only a few inches away from Hotch's body and she felt the warmth of his body against her own. She felt his hands move around her waist and he was leaning into her. JJ leaned slightly forward. She suddenly felt his lips on hers. He gave her the sweetest kiss. JJ felt her entire body tingle after he had pulled away. There wasn't enough time for her to respond because he already pulled away but she knew she wanted to do that a lot more.

JJ and Hotch walked towards his car. He once again held the door open for her. JJ stepped inside and she knew that she couldn't be happier about how everything had gone. They were back at her street before she knew it. Hotch took her hand in his and he gently squeezed it.

''I had a great time, JJ.'' Hotch said.

''Me too.''

''I will call you tomorrow afternoon after I am done with my classes.''

''Okay. Bye, Aaron.'' JJ said and she stepped from the car and she watched him as he drove away.

JJ was slowly making her way towards her house while she was thinking about the entire night. Everything went perfect and she knew she already liked Hotch a lot.

When she opened the door to her house, she saw her mother standing in the hallway with an angry face and she knew her mother probably found out what she had been up to.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to 14hpgirl19, samcarter1980, Anonymous gal and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Caught**

JJ walked inside and she closed the door behind her. She saw that her mother was looking at her with disappointment. JJ always knew that there was going to be a moment when she would have to talk to her parents about how she felt with the way they treated her. JJ wanted to walk upstairs but she decided to turn around and talk to her mother instead of ignoring her.

''What is it, mom?'' JJ asked with irritation.

''Were where you tonight, Jennifer? And don't lie to me!'' Emma said to warn JJ.

''I didn't go to Sam's. I went out with a guy I met at Georgetown.'' JJ said with all honesty, knowing that lying wasn't going to work.

''You went out with a guy?'' Eric asked when he stepped next to his wife.

''Yes, dad! I went out with a guy. Is that a problem? Is it a problem that I finally did something that I wanted to do?'' JJ asked angrily.

''You are throwing your life away. Why can't you just do what we ask you to do?'' Eric asked.

''What you want me to do? You two want me to be Sarah! You want me to follow her dreams and to be exactly like she was.'' JJ said and a tear streamed down her face. JJ had never talked to her parents about Sarah after her suicide. It was like they buried the memory and never wanted to dig it up again.

''Don't talk about her!'' Emma said emotionally.

''Are you kidding me? We never talk about her. You never once asked me how I was dealing with her death. Did you ever ask? No, because since she died, I have been her replacement. But mom and dad, I am not Sarah and I never will be. I don't want to be a dentist. I want to play soccer and I want to be able to wear the clothes I like.'' JJ yelled while she was also crying.

''Don't talk about your sister like that.'' Eric said as he put and arm around his wife.

''We haven't talked about her in seven years. Don't you guys think that I miss her? Because I do. I miss her so…'' JJ tried to say but she was interrupted.

''Stop it! Go upstairs now!'' Emma yelled.

JJ walked upstairs to her room and she threw it shut behind her. Her bag hit the floor in a loud thud. JJ walked towards her nightstand and she pulled out a photo album with photos of her and Sarah. The tears were streaming down her face as she was looking through the album. JJ and her sister had always gotten along really well. JJ still loved her sister deeply but there were also days when she just couldn't understand why her sister killed herself. JJ always thought that she was happy and that she had everything she always wanted in her life. JJ suddenly thought about the last time she saw her sister before she died.

* * *

_Flashback _

_Eleven year old JJ was reading a book in her bedroom. She was waiting for her sister to come home from school because she was going to play soccer with JJ. JJ had been a fan of soccer since she was really little and she always played with her older sister._

_JJ jumped from her bed when she heard the door open. She saw Sarah walking inside but she looked really sad. JJ kept sitting on the bed and she waited for her sister to say something to her._

''_Hey JJ. I am sorry but I can't play soccer with you today.'' Sarah said with pain in her voice._

''_Why?'' JJ asked with a lot of disappointment._

''_I have a lot of homework. But I have something I want to give to you.'' Sarah said and she walked over to JJ's bed and she sat down next to her._

''_Here, I want you to have this.'' Sarah said as she handed her little sister her favorite necklace._

''_You love this necklace. I can't take it.'' JJ said as she looked at the golden heart shaped necklace in the palm of her hand._

''_I want you to.'' Sarah said._

''_Why?''_

''_Because I love you, JJ. You are my little sister and I love you so much. I will always love you, no matter what happens.'' Sarah said and she hugged JJ tightly._

''_I love you to.'' JJ said proudly._

_Sarah was rising from the bed and she turned around one last time to look at her little sister._

''_Bye, JJ. I love you. Just remember that.'' Sarah and she closed the door behind her._

_JJ put the necklace proudly around her neck and she promised herself to wear it every single day to show her sister how much she loved her._

* * *

The tears were only getting worse for JJ. She took a jewelry box from her nightstand as well. She opened it and she picked up the necklace that her sister gave her. She never wore it. She was afraid to wear it in front of her parents. And she only wanted to wear it when her sister was around. JJ was taken from her thoughts when her phone buzzed. She pulled her phone from her jeans pocket and she read a text from Sam.

_Hey Girl,_

_I think your mom might know that you weren't with me today. She called my mom and my mom told her that you weren't here. I am so sorry, JJ. But how was your date? I want to know everything and I can't wait until tomorrow._

_X- Sam_

JJ laughed when she read the text. JJ knew she could always count on her friends and now she might have found a new person to count on. She didn't know how long it would take her to tell Hotch about her sister because it was really personal and JJ never talked about it openly with anyone.

_Hi Sam!_

_Yeah, my mom knows. I just had a fight but it is going to be fine. I will tell you everything about my date tomorrow. I am tired and I really need to get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow!_

_X- JJ_

JJ put away her phone and she climbed of the bed to put on her sweatpants and a sweater. She turned off her lights and she crawled in her bed. She decided to think about her date with Hotch because she knew she could fall asleep while thinking about him.

The next morning…

JJ woke up when her alarm went off the next morning. She was out of her bed quickly. She grabbed clothes and she made her way into the bathroom to take a quick shower before she was going to downstairs to eat breakfast. JJ changed into her clothes after her shower. She went back into her bedroom and she grabbed her bag with books. When she was finally downstairs, she saw her parents sitting at the table and they didn't say a word to her. JJ decided to play along with them. She sat down and ate something before she left for Sam's house.

JJ sighed in relief when she was standing outside. She already expected it that her parents were going to ignore her. They always ignored her for a while and in a couple of days they would be acting like nothing had ever happened and JJ hated that the most. She didn't want to forget about it. She wanted to talk about it instead of avoiding the subject.

JJ was at Sam's house and she saw that her friend was already sitting in her car. JJ made a run for it and she jumped in. JJ greeted Sam as happily as she possibly could but she knew her friend would see right through her.

''You look terrible.'' Sam said and it was the first thing she said to JJ.

''Thanks. You are such a great friend.''

''Your welcome. No, I am joking. But what happened with your parents last night?''

''The same as always. They are disappointed in me and now they are ignoring me.'' JJ replied to answer the question.

''Oh, I am so sorry JJ. How was your date?'' Sam asked curiously.

''You really want to know?''

''Hell yeah!'' Sam said as she started driving towards their school.

''It was amazing. He had a surprise for me and I was actually really nervous. So, we went back to Georgetown and he had a picnic set up under the tree where we met for the first time. Candles were lit and he made something to eat. It was really nice.'' JJ said.

''Ahh, I need to find a guy like that. He sounds so romantic. Do you like him?''

''I really do. I like him a lot.''

''Did you kiss?''

''Sam, please.''

''Oh, come on JJ. Tell me!'' Sam said excitedly.

''Yeah. He kissed me but I was to stunned to respond but it felt amazing.'' JJ sighed and she suddenly felt the tingles in her body again and she couldn't help but smile.

JJ and Sam talked about Hotch the rest of the drive. At school they went to class and Sam told Vicky and Alex everything about JJ's date and even they couldn't stop talking about it.

The rest of the day passed by quickly and JJ was happy when school was over again. She was sitting on a bench because she had to wait for Sam.

JJ was playing a game on her phone when someone was calling her. When she saw that it was Hotch, she picked up immediately.

''Hey.'' JJ said to greet Hotch.

''_Hi. How are you?''_

''I am fine. What about you?''

''_I am good, thanks. I was wondering if you would like to go out with me Wednesday afternoon. My classes end really soon and I could pick you up early if you don't have any classes.''_

''That would be great. I have a short day on Wednesday. I can't wait to see you again. I had a lot of fun yesterday.'' JJ said and she gave a soft giggle and she felt ashamed immediately and she was hoping that Hotch didn't hear it.

''_That is great. I had a lot of fun to. I am already looking forward to Wednesday. I can pick you up at your school if that is okay with you.''_

''Yeah. I guess, I will see you then.''

''_I will. Bye, JJ.''_

''Bye.'' JJ said softly and she hung up the phone.

JJ jumped from the bench and she couldn't help but jump up and down in excitement. She was already looking forward to seeing him again. She liked him a lot and she really wanted to get to know him better.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't updated in the past two days. My laptop broke down, so there was no way for me to update. But the good news is that my laptop is working again. I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, samcarter1980, 14hpgirl19, Twilightangell, hotchfan1 and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Catch me if you can**

Wednesday…

It was Wednesday morning and JJ couldn't help but feel excited about her second date with Hotch. They had been in contact through texts and calls but she felt a thousand times more excited about seeing him again. It was getting so bad for JJ that she couldn't even concentrate in class anymore. The feelings she was having were normal, according to Sam but JJ still felt a little weird about everything. She never thought about guys and she had never been interested in anyone before. There was just something so different about Hotch. It was the way he looked at her and the way he acted. He didn't act like a teenager but he acted mature and that was one of the best qualities that JJ wanted in a guy. Not to mention, that he was extremely hot. Her mind went back to the moment when she had seen him with his shirt off and she felt like she could drool. But she was awakened from her thoughts when she heard her name being called out.

''Jennifer?'' a voice said from the other side of the classroom.

JJ finally looked up after Sam gave her a soft push in her side. JJ saw that her teacher was staring at her and she realized she had to answer a question but she had no idea what is was.

''I am sorry Mrs. White. Could you repeat the question?'' JJ asked politely because she didn't want to piss of her teacher.

''I would like to talk to after class, JJ.'' Mrs. White said and she gave the question to someone else.

JJ suddenly felt really stupid but she was daydreaming before she knew it. JJ rose from her chair after the school bell rang. She walked to the front of the class to wait for her teacher to talk to her.

''Take a seat, Jennifer.'' Mrs. White said and JJ did as she was told.

''What were you thinking about during class?'' Mrs. White asked.

''Nothing, Ma'am. I was just really tired. That is all.'' JJ lied because she wasn't going to tell her teacher what or who she was thinking about.

''Okay but I am going to keep an eye on you because your weren't acting like yourself.'' Mrs. White explained and JJ couldn't believe what she was hearing. JJ was always good student and she did something wrong once and she was already in trouble for it.

''Of course, Ma'am.'' JJ said and she rose from her to chair to leave the classroom.

JJ walked through the hallway of her school until she was finally in the cafeteria. She sat down at the table were her friends were sitting and she sighed out in relief.

''Hi, JJ.'' Vicky greeted happily.

''Hey.'' JJ said softly and defeated.

''What is going on with you?'' Alex asked when she noticed that JJ wasn't looking happy anymore.

''I don't know. I am tired and I can't focus in class anymore.'' JJ tried to explain and when she wanted to continue but she was interrupted by Sam.

''JJ is lovesick.'' Sam teased.

''Well, you might be right. I can't even sleep without dreaming or thinking about him. In class he is all I can think about. I don't know what is wrong with me, you guys. Can you help me?'' JJ whined.

''Aww, you really like him.'' Alex said.

''I can't wait to see what he looks like. He is picking you up at 2 pm, right?'' Vicky asked.

''Yeah, but please act normal. I really like this guy, okay. I don't want to scare him away because you guys can't handle yourselves.'' JJ said to her friends.

''We can handle ourselves.'' Sam said but she knew JJ was right.

''That has to be a joke, right?'' JJ asked and she continued when no one answered her question.

''Because I can remember how the two of you went all crazy when Alex went out with a guy named Steven. And I also remember that he didn't want to go out with her again because he thought that Alex's friends were crazy. So, don't mind when I ask you guys to be normal for once.'' JJ said.

''I can try.'' Vicky murmured.

''Me too.'' Sam and Alex said at the exact same time.

''Thanks. So, do you guys have anything planned for upcoming weekend?'' JJ asked curiously.

''Well, Vicky and I wanted to watch Sam and you play Saturday because it will also be your first game as captain of the soccer team.'' Alex replied.

''Oh, that is awesome. Luckily, we have to play at home and against some team from Brightwood. We actually beat them before, so it is going to be a piece of cake.'' Sam said happily and she was already convinced that they were going to win.

''Sam, the last time you said we were going to win, we actually lost badly. You shouldn't say too much.'' JJ said.

''We will beat them. I want to.'' Sam said competitively.

''I know. It is always about winning with you.'' JJ said because she knew her too well.

The school bell rang and it meant that they all had to go to their next classes. They quickly made their ways to the classrooms. JJ had math with Vicky and they walked to their class together.

The rest of the classes were the same for JJ. She had a hard time focusing and her mind was on Hotch constantly. When her last class was done, she was out of there immediately. She went to her locker to grab her books and jacket and she was outside before she knew it. When she walked to the parking lot, she saw Hotch already waiting in his car and she was about to walk towards the car when she heard someone call out her name.

''JJ, wait!'' Sam yelled from the other side of the parking lot and she saw JJ turning towards her.

JJ met Sam halfway and she saw Vicky and Alex coming up from behind her. JJ sighed deeply in frustration because she was hoping that they wouldn't have found her in time.

''Where is he?'' Sam asked curiously as her eyes wandered around the parking lot.

JJ turned around and she saw that Hotch stepped out of his car and was making his way towards them.

''Oh my god. Is it him?'' Vicky asked when she saw JJ looking at Hotch.

''Yeah.'' JJ replied.

''JJ, he is hot. How did you find him? Where did you find him? Oh, I would love to date his twin brother.'' Alex hushed.

''He doesn't have a twin brother.'' JJ said with irritation.

''I know but if he had one, I would eat him up.'' Alex said and they were all staring at Hotch as he was walking closer.

JJ slowly made her way to him and she stopped in front of him, not knowing how to greet him. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and the adrenaline was going through her veins.

''Hey.'' JJ greeted softly while a smile appeared on her face.

''Hi.'' Hotch greeted back and he wanted to lean in to give JJ a kiss on the lips but she gave him a quick and awkward hug and he had no idea why she was suddenly acting so strangely.

''Oh, I would like to introduce you to my friends.'' JJ said to Hotch and she grabbed his hand to pull him with her towards her friends.

''Aaron, these are my friends, Sam, Vicky and Alex.'' JJ said.

''And this is Aaron.'' JJ said and they all nodded to each other.

''It is nice to meet you all.'' Hotch said as he was standing really close to JJ.

''So Aaron, do you have a brother?'' Alex asked.

''Alex!'' JJ warned and her face became red instantly.

''Sorry!'' Alex apologized.

''We should get going.'' JJ said to Hotch.

''Okay.'' he said in agreement to her statement.

''Bye. Have fun.'' Sam said as they watched JJ and Hotch walk back towards his car.

JJ stepped in the car when Hotch opened the door for him and she waited for him to get in as well. JJ felt the tension between them and she wanted to explain to him why she was acting so tense but she was afraid to scare him off.

''I am so sorry about that. It is just that my friends are really excited for me because I have never done this before and they have been pushing me for months to go out with a guy.'' JJ rambled on until Hotch said something.

''JJ, calm down. It is okay. And you have never done what before?'' Hotch asked curiously.

''Do you remember that you asked me if I had a boyfriend?''

''Oh god. Do you still have boyfriend? Are you going out with two people at the same time?'' Hotch asked in panic.

''No. No. Okay, I need to tell you this but don't freak out.'' JJ said, hoping he would be okay with the fact that she had never had a boyfriend before.

''I will try.''

''I have never had a boyfriend before. I had never been on a date. I have never kissed anyone in my entire life until you kissed me. I pretty much am new to this and it is scaring the hell out of me.'' JJ explained with all honesty.

''Did you think I would care about that, JJ?''

''Yeah. I mean, look at you. What would a guy like you want with a girl like me?''

''First of all, I don't think I have ever met a girl like you. You are absolutely amazing JJ and you leave me with an ache. I haven't been able think straight since I met you. I don't how you do it but you do it.''

''Same here.'' JJ confessed.

''Okay. Now, that is finally out of the way. Are you ready to go?'' Hotch asked when he finally started the car.

''I am. Are we still going to your dorm?''

''Yeah. My roommate is gone for the day. I thought we could just study if you need to and we could watch a movie and order take-out later on.'' Hotch suggested.

''Sounds like a plan.'' JJ said and she smiled when she saw his dimples on his face.

The ride to Georgetown was filled with conversation about their day. JJ told Hotch about her shameful moment with Mrs. White. And Hotch told JJ about his classes and how he had forgotten his books to every single class. They made fun of each other and they laughed together.

When they were in his dorm, they made themselves comfortable and they decided to study and make homework for the next day.

* * *

Two hours later…

After two hours of studying they were both done with it. JJ was done with everything and she was the first to close her book. She was sitting on his bed while Hotch was sitting behind his desk. JJ watched him as he was focusing on the material in front of him. JJ thought she could stare at him all day. When he finally met her gaze, she started blushing ferociously.

''How long have you been staring?'' he asked as he turned around in his chair to face JJ.

''Not so long. I have nothing good to look at anyway.'' JJ teased.

''If I were you, I would take that back.'' Hotch threatened with a grin on his face.

''No.''

Hotch rose from his chair and he made his way towards the bed. He quickly pushed JJ down on the bed and he started tickling her. JJ was struggling to get him to stop but it wasn't helping.

''Ahhh!'' JJ squealed.

''I told you to take it back.'' Hotch said again and he couldn't help but laugh when JJ was squirming. Hotch climbed on the bed and he hovered over JJ while he kept tickling her.

''I take it back! I take it back! Please!'' JJ said and he finally stopped.

Hotch was still hovering over JJ on the bed but he sat down on the edge when JJ was trying to sit up. They were both out of breath.

''Did you really mean it?'' Hotch asked for fun.

''No!'' JJ yelled loudly and she quickly rose from the bed and she made her way out of the dorm room. Hotch ran after her through the hallway but he had a hard time catching up with her.

JJ was finally sprinting outside and she looked over her shoulder and she was him running after her. She knew she was only ahead of him because she played soccer and she was really fast. JJ made it to the park, where he finally caught up with her.

''I got you!'' Hotch said happily and he wrapped two arms around her waist from behind and he pulled her against him.

''I know.'' JJ said and she struggled to get away from him but he was too strong for her.

Hotch turned JJ around and he softly pushed her against the tree.

''We always end up under this tree.'' JJ said.

''I guess this our spot.'' Hotch said.

JJ felt her back against the tree and she felt Hotch coming closer to her. Her knees started to buckle again and she felt the heat coming from his body. At first she was worried about what to do but as he was leaning forward it was like a sixth sense took over. Their lips met in a soft kiss and JJ felt his lips move against her own. After a couple of seconds she matched his movements and the kiss became more intense. She never knew that it would feel so overwhelming to kiss someone. Her surroundings were blacked out and she could only feel Hotch against her.

Hotch softly and slowly deepened the kiss but he also reminded himself to take it slowly because JJ had never done any of this before. Kissing her was becoming like an addiction. He had to catch his breath but it was like he couldn't stop. The feeling of passion was flooding over him and he had never felt something like that before.

They finally pulled away to catch their breaths. JJ's hands were around his neck and she was taking in what had just happened.

''Wow!'' she sighed in amazement.

''I know.'' Hotch said as one of his hands was still on her waist and the other in her blonde hair.

''Would you like to watch that movie now?'' Hotch asked.

''I would love to.'' JJ said.

Hotch took her hand and they walked back towards his dorm. Once they were there, they put on a movie and they crawled on his bed. At first there was distance between them but at the end of the movie, JJ's head was resting on his shoulder and they both felt like they could sit there for an eternity.

The rest of the night passed by quickly for both of them. Hotch dropped JJ off at home after kissing her goodnight. JJ went inside and her parents still weren't talking to her. JJ went to her room and she dropped in her bed, knowing she was going to dream about her amazing day with Hotch.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is pretty long. A lot will happen in it and I hope you all won't hate me too much for what happens here. Well, I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, Twilightangell, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, 14hpgirl19 and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: The shocking truth**

Crestwood…

Before JJ knew it the rest of the week had already passed by. It was Saturday morning and she was getting ready for her soccer game. She was going out with Hotch the next day. She didn't tell him that she had a game because she didn't want him to see her play soccer. Most of the week had been the same. She talked to him on the phone for hours and her friends were still gushing about how hot he was. JJ's parents were barely talking to her and JJ tried to not be affected by it but it was getting really hard for her. She wanted to talk to her parents about her sister and the way she felt but they never let her.

JJ grabbed her bag with her gear and she made her way downstairs. She walked into the living room where her parents were sitting. She wanted to let them know that she was leaving.

''Hey. I am going to school for the game. I would love it if the two of you would come. This will be my first game as captain and I would like to share it with the two of you.'' JJ said, hoping that her parents would say anything but they stayed silent.

''Okay. I will be back around 4 pm. Bye!'' JJ said with disappointment and she left the house.

When she was outside she stepped in Sam's car and they drove away.

* * *

Georgetown University…

Hotch was sitting on his bed with a book in his hands. He had to study but he was thinking about JJ the entire time. He didn't want to wait till Sunday to see her but he had no idea if she had time. He picked up his phone to call her.

''_JJ!'' _JJ greeted from the other end of the line.

''Hey, it is me. I was wondering if you have time to hang out today.'' Hotch said, hoping she was going to say yes.

''_Not today. I am sorry.''_

''It is okay. What are you doing?'' He asked curiously.

''_Well, I have a soccer game today. I didn't want to invite you because I would feel stupid and I know I will not be able to concentrate at all when you are around.''_

''A game? I would love to see you play, JJ!'' Hotch said with excitement.

''_Really? You could come if you want to. The game starts in twenty minutes. I will just have to keep my eyes of the sidelines.''_

''Of course I want to be there. I will see you soon, okay?''

''_Yeah. See you soon!''_

''Bye!'' Hotch said with excitement and he hung up the phone. He jumped from his bed and he tried to be a quiet as possible to not wake Mike up but he saw that he didn't succeed when his friend was sitting straight in his bed.

''Where are you going?'' Mike asked curiously when he saw that Hotch was taking clothes from the closet.

''I am going to JJ's game. She is playing in an hour.'' Hotch explained.

''Nice but I thought we were hanging out with the rest of the guys tonight.'' Mike said with disappointment.

''I will be back tonight and I might take JJ if she wants to. I would like the two of you to meet.''

''Fine. You really like her, huh?''

''I do and it is scaring the hell out of me.'' Hotch said truthfully.

''Why?''

''Well, Haley only broke up with me about a week ago and I am already forgetting about her. And things with JJ seem to go really fast. I never expected to like someone this soon.''

''Are you really over Haley? I mean, be careful not to break the girl's heart, Aaron. I know you like her but you and Haley had a relationship for six years. There is nothing that can make that disappear.'' Mike said because he cared about his best friend.

''I know I can't just forget about Haley but JJ is so different, Mike. Haley was sweet and amazing but JJ has this pureness that I have never seen before. She is someone who would never hurt anyone and she would do anything for the people around her, even at her own cost.''

''Are you sure? Do you really know her that well?''

''No, I guess not. Why are you doing this?''

''Doing what?''

''Trying to make me doubt what I am doing with JJ.'' Hotch said with a raised voice because he didn't get why Mike was questioning his relationship with JJ.

''Because you are my best friend and I don't want you to make a stupid mistake. We both know that you would get back together with Haley if she would take you back.''

''No, I wouldn't do that.''

''Really?''

''Okay, fine. I don't know what I would do if Haley would want to be together again. Who says she will be back?'' Hotch asked and he was getting defensive.

''I am just saying that you need to be sure about what you are doing with JJ, Aaron. You can't lead the girl on. It wouldn't be honest to her if you would get back together with Haley. You need to make a choice. You either choose to end things with JJ because you want to wait for a chance with Haley or you continue this thing with JJ and you need to stay with her, even if Haley were to come back.'' Mike explained.

''I like JJ a lot, Mike. I want to take a chance on her because I know it could be so much more. We have only known each other for a week and I am already feeling so much for her.'' Hotch said, knowing that JJ was worth it. The past week had been amazing for him. He had never expected to meet someone like JJ, especially after his break-up with Haley.

Hotch rose from his bed and took a quick shower. He changed into his jeans and a white shirt and he left the dorm to go to JJ's soccer game.

* * *

Crestwood High School…

JJ and Sam stepped from the car just when JJ hung up the phone after her conversation with Hotch. JJ looked at Sam who was giving her a curious look.

''He is coming to see the game.'' JJ said happily and she just couldn't hide her excitement.

''Now we definitely have to win.'' Sam said.

''No, we don't have to win, Sam. I know that Aaron won't care if we win or not.''

''Still, I really want to win. We need to kick some Brightwood ass. You are captain. You should be competitive.''

''I am competitive but there is a difference between being competitive and being arrogant, Sam.'' JJ said to her friend and she had to laugh when Sam turned around to face her with sad look.

''I have to cry now.'' Sam joked.

''Of course you do. Come on, we should get to the locker room to get ready.'' JJ said and they made their way towards the school and they ran into Vicky and Alex in the hallway.

''Hey!'' JJ and Sam greeted at the same time.

''Hi!'' Vicky yelled excitedly.

''She is really happy today. Don't ask me why!'' Alex said immediately.

''I can see that. So, why are you happy, Vicky?'' JJ asked curiously.

''Well, I just heard this news today and it is not final yet but a scout from UCLA is coming to my next volleyball game to see me play and I might get a scholarship to UCLA.'' Vicky said and she started jumping up and down.

''Vicky, that is amazing!'' Alex said loudly.

''Congratulations!'' JJ said happily and she joined in on the group hug.

They finally pulled away and JJ sat that Alex had tears in her eyes and they all looked at her with concerned faces.

''Alex, what is it?'' Sam asked.

''Just all of it. In four months were are all graduating and going to different colleges. I just don't want this to end.'' Alex explained.

''I know.'' Vicky said.

''We still have four months, Alex. It is a really long time and we also have the summer and even if we are going to different colleges, we will definitely see a lot of each other. I promise.'' JJ said and she pulled her friend into a tight hug.

''JJ is right. We should be happy and we need to get ready for the game. JJ needs to look hot because her boyfriend is coming!'' Sam said excitedly.

''Boyfriend, huh?'' Alex joked with Sam and the tears were disappearing.

''I don't know. I hope so. We will see but Sam is right we need to get ready. We will see you guys in a couple of minutes.'' JJ said and she looked at her phone and she saw that the game was starting in fifteen minutes.

JJ and Sam went into the locker room to get changed and they quickly made their way to the field. They started to warm-up and they got some last tips from their coach.

In the meantime Hotch pulled up in the parking lot of the high school. He quickly stepped out of his car and walked to the field. He saw JJ warming-up in a red with white soccer jersey. He sat down on a bench at the sideline and he decided to just watch and to not interrupt her.

Hotch watched the entire game and he was really impressed with JJ. They shared a couple of glances with each other during the game but JJ mostly focused on the game. Crestwood High had won and he could see that JJ was really happy with it. Hotch rose from the bench to make his way to JJ.

JJ was pulled into a tight hug by Sam. When she finally pulled away, she saw Vicky and Alex storming onto the field and they also gave both Sam and JJ a hug.

''You guys were amazing!'' Alex complemented.

''I know, we really were amazing.'' Sam said in a agreement.

''Thanks, Alex.'' JJ said thankfully and she saw that Hotch was also making his way towards them.

''Oh, look who is here.'' Vicky said when she noticed JJ's eyes on Hotch.

''I will be right back.'' JJ said and she ran towards Hotch with her bag over her shoulder.

JJ stopped in front of him and she flew into his arms without any warning. Hotch was surprised with JJ's move but he was happy to oblige. He pulled her tightly against him and he just enjoyed their closeness.

''You were great out here, JJ.'' Hotch said as they both pulled away from each other.

''Really?'' JJ asked for reassurance.

''Yeah, you were. I would like to watch you again.'' Hotch said with a smirk on his face and he took JJ's hand in his.

''You are always welcome to watch. So, how are you?''

''I am better now. How about you?''

''I am fine.'' JJ replied.

''Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day?''

''Well, I planned on going to Sam's house for celebration if we won and I we did but I think they would understand if we would do something together. What would you like to do?''

''You should go out with your friends. I will see you tomorrow, JJ. I don't want to take you away from them. I am happy that I got to see you play.'' Hotch said and he wanted to walk away but JJ held onto his hand.

''Thank you. I will walk with you to your car.'' JJ said and they walked hand in hand from the field towards the parking lot where Hotch's car was parked.

JJ let go of his hand when they reached the car. Hotch gave JJ a quick but soft kiss before he left and JJ watched as he drove away.

JJ turned around to go back to her friends when she saw both of her parents standing in front of the school. JJ knew immediately that they had seen everything. She also knew that her parents were never going to be okay with what they had seen. JJ waited for her parents to come to her.

''You are going home with us, now!'' Eric said and JJ nodded.

They drove home and the entire drive was silent but JJ knew the worst part was going to come. No one knew why her sister had committed suicide, not even her own friends. To everyone the Jareau family seemed like the perfect happy family but JJ knew otherwise. She was just lucky that she had never had to deal with the worst part of what could happen because she did whatever her parents wanted her to do.

They stepped from the car and JJ walked inside first. She walked into the living room and she dropped her bag to the floor.

''Who was that, JJ?'' Eric asked angrily.

''I told you, he is the guy I met at Georgetown. I am going out with him.'' JJ explained loudly.

''Why were you with him today?'' Emma asked.

''Because he wanted to see my game.'' JJ said angrily.

''You know the rules, JJ. We don't want you to date any guys.'' Eric said.

''Yeah, I know the rules. I have been living with them my entire life and I am sick of it. I never get to do what I want. I am not your robot. I want my own life. I want to do whatever I like.'' JJ yelled.

''You don't get to choose, JJ. You don't have a say in this!'' Eric Jareau warned her and JJ wanted to laugh but she knew it would be a mistake.

''Really Dad? You really want to do that again? You want to make me as miserable as Sarah? Do you want punch me to, every time I do something wrong according to you? Go ahead! I am tired of obeying your rules!'' JJ yelled loudly and she saw that her father was getting angry and her mother was already retreating to the other side of the room because she knew when to not be around her husband.

''I told you to listen to me!'' Eric yelled aggressively.

''I have listened to you for eighteen years. It is a miracle that I made it so long. Even Sarah couldn't make it this long but that is not a surprise because you beat her every time she did something that broke your rules. She couldn't live with your abuse, dad! She couldn't live in this house anymore and I don't know how much longer I can do it as well.'' JJ said and a tear streamed down her face.

Eric walked closer to JJ and his fist landed on JJ's cheek. JJ hissed out in pain and she took a couple of steps back because she knew it could only get worse.

''I always knew you were a mistake. You should have never been born!'' Eric yelled.

JJ was crying at that point. She grabbed her bag and ran out the door. Her father ran after her but JJ was fast enough to outrun him. She kept running for a few blocks and she stopped at a bus station and she just stepped on a bus. She sat down and she tried to stop the tears because there were people around. JJ had always known why her sister killed herself. At seventeen, Sarah wanted to go out more and more but when their father found out when she got home he would beat her. He always beat her in ways, so it would go unseen by outsiders. It had never happened to JJ before because she always listened to her parents and she was sick of it. She wanted her own life and she wanted to get away from them.

JJ stepped from the bus when it reached Georgetown University. She made her way across campus in her soccer jersey with her bag over her shoulder, hoping Hotch was in his dorm because she didn't know where else she could go. Her cheek was swollen and every time she tried to touch it, it would hurt too much.

Hotch was sitting in his chair when there was a knock on the door. He had no idea who it could be. He made his way to the door and he opened it. His mouth dropped open when he saw JJ's cheek and her red eyes.

''JJ, what the hell happened to you?'' Hotch said and he pulled her inside.

''JJ?'' Hotch said again when he didn't get an answer.

Instead of answering him, JJ buried her head against his chest and she started sobbing into his shirt. Hotch wrapped his arms around her.

''I am here, JJ. It is okay.'' Hotch said to try and console her.

They kept standing there for a few minutes until Hotch guided JJ to the bed. They both sat down and her head rested on his shoulder. JJ finally sat up and she made herself ready to explain to him what happened.

''I am sorry.'' JJ said.

''No, don't be. You can tell me what happened, JJ. I will listen. I promise.'' Hotch said softly and he softly cupped her good cheek.

''My parents saw me saying goodbye to you after the game. After I went home I had a fight with my dad and he did this to me.'' JJ explained while she pointed towards her cheek.

''Your father did this? Does this happen often?'' Hotch asked because he was really worrying about the fact that JJ father did this to his own daughter.

''Not to me. This was the first time.'' JJ said accidentally.

''Not to you? What do you mean?''

''It used to happen to my sister.'' JJ tried to explain but she was interrupted by Hotch.

''Used to? I didn't know you had a sister!''

''My sister, Sarah, died when she was seventeen. She killed herself, Aaron. I was only eleven years old when it happened and at first I couldn't understand why but I found out later. My parents have always been control freaks. I had to live by their rules and I had to follow their dreams and I guess Sarah couldn't live with it anymore. I miss her so much. I loved her so much. I just want her to come back!'' JJ said and the tears were streaming down her face.

''I don't know what to say, JJ. I am so sorry. About everything. I am so sorry about Sarah!'' Hotch said and he pulled JJ closer.

''I don't know what to do.'' JJ cried out.

''You can go to the police. We can go together. I will help you through it. I promise.'' Hotch said.

''No! No! I can't do that. Maybe he never meant to hit me. Maybe it was just a mistake.'' JJ said but she knew it couldn't be a mistake.

''It is never a mistake when someone beats their own child. Believe me!'' Hotch said and he was talking from his own experience.

''How do you know that?'' JJ asked when she realized that Hotch wasn't supposed to know that.

''I grew up with an abusive father as well, JJ. My father beat my mom and whenever I tried to stand up for her, he would beat me too. I know what it is like and I also know that it will never stop until someone talks to your dad.'' Hotch explained and he saw JJ looking at him with astonishment.

''Oh my god. I am so sorry, Aaron.''

''It is okay. I have learned to deal with what happened to me when I was a kid but I am not going to stand by and watch you go through the same. I won't let that happen, JJ. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.'' Hotch said to JJ and he softly kissed her head.

''What do you think I should do?'' JJ asked him.

''I think we should get some ice to put on your cheek because it looks really bad. We can talk about this later.'' Hotch said because he wanted JJ to get some rest first.

''Okay. Do you have ice?'' JJ asked.

''No, but I can put a beer in a towel and you can put that on your cheek. I am sorry but I have nothing better.'' Hotch said apologetically as he handed JJ a beer with a towel wrapped around it.

''Thanks. I am glad that I am here.'' JJ said.

''Yeah, so am I.'' Hotch said and he pulled JJ against him once again.

JJ rested in his arms and she felt a wave of security hitting her. She was happy that she went to Hotch and told him everything. She didn't know what she would do without him. For now she decided to rest. She knew she had to think about what she was going to do because she couldn't go back home because she knew the same thing could happen more often. JJ also knew that she had been lucky that it had only happened to her once and that she hadn't been in her sister's place. She slowly drifted off into a light sleep in Hotch's arms after a long time of thinking.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Another chapter! I came up with a solution for JJ to be safe. I want to let you guys know that I have a lot of ideas for this story. It is going to be filled with romance, drama and tragedy and I hope you all will stick with me through this one. It will probably be my longest story so far and I am also really excited about writing it. I hope you all like this chapter! **

**Special thanks to jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, samcarter1980, hotchfan1, Anonymous, 14hpgirl19 and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: The solution**

JJ was stirring in Hotch's arms when she was starting to wake up. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked down at the strong arms that were wrapped around her waist. Hotch was sitting with his back against the headboard of his bed and JJ was laying between his legs and her back was against his chest. She knew Hotch was sleeping because he was snoring lightly. JJ stayed in his arms because she didn't want to wake him up. She felt so safe in his arms and she never wanted to leave the bubble she was in. It was like she didn't have to think about all the problems in her life. Every part of her wished that everything was different but a small part of her knew that Hotch might not have been in her life if things had been different and that is something she didn't want to think about. She still couldn't believe that she had met someone like him.

JJ looked up from the bed when her phone started buzzing. She softly pulled Hotch's arms away from her body and she silently climbed off the bed to grab her phone. She picked it up from the floor and she looked at the text.

_Hey JJ,_

_You disappeared on us today. Where are you? I am worried about you! I called your parents and they told me that you ran away or something. Just let know what is going on. I need to know that you are okay. Please, let me know!_

_X- Sam_

JJ started typing because she didn't want Sam to worry about her. She knew she had to tell her friend what had happened. A part of her felt ashamed that she never told them but another part of her also knew that it was for the best because Sam would never stop worrying about her.

_Hey Sam,_

_I am okay, I guess. I have a lot to explain to you and I know you are not going to like it. I am at with Aaron right now. If you want you can come by Georgetown in an hour or so, that would be fine because I can tell you what is going on. Let me know!_

_X- JJ_

JJ received another text from Sam a couple of seconds later, telling her that she was coming to Georgetown. JJ sighed deeply and she put her phone away. She wanted to go back to Hotch but when she turned around she saw that he was already awake.

''I woke you up, didn't I?'' JJ asked.

''You did but it is fine. Who were you texting with?''

''Sam. She is coming here in an hour and I am going to tell her what happened. I can't lie to her. I just don't know what to do.'' JJ said and she kept sitting on the floor.

''I know, JJ. We will figure it out. You can stay here as long as you need to. Fortunately, you are eighteen and your parents don't have a single say in what you do.''

''I know but where am I supposed to go. I don't have anything. I have no money because my parents never allowed me to work and…I have…I have nothing.''

''You have me, JJ. You have your friends. And I will help you. I am not going leave you by yourself. I promise, JJ.'' he said again and JJ stood up from the floor and she sat down on the edge of the bed next to him.

JJ put one of her hands on his leg. Hotch turned to face her and she looked into his brown eyes. It was like her body started melting whenever he looked at her like that and the problem was that he always looked at her in that same way. He cupped her cheek with one of his hands and a shiver went through her body.

''I want to kiss you so badly, JJ. I just don't want to take advantage of you.'' Hotch said and he looked into her blue eyes and he saw something he had never seen before. It was like her pain disappeared completely and the pain was replaced with joy.

Hotch saw JJ leaning in and her lips met his in a soft kiss. Her lips were soft and it was like they melted together. A fire was burning inside him as their lips met each other over and over again. Kissing her was becoming better with every time and he wanted to do it forever.

JJ suddenly felt his tongue trace along the lines of her lips, asking for entry. JJ slightly opened her mouth and at first it felt weird. But as their tongues intertwined it was like she couldn't stop anymore. The passion had completely overtaken her and she didn't worry about what to do anymore.

Hotch pulled away to get some air. He pulled his hands from her hair and he looked into her eyes and he saw a smile appear on her face.

''You are not the only one who wants to do that.'' JJ sighed deeply and her chest was still heaving after the kiss.

''Good!'' Hotch said excitedly and he took one of her hands in his and he softly squeezed it.

''We have only known each other for a little over a week but I feel like we have known each other for years. This is going so fast but I don't mind. Do you?''

''No, JJ. Absolutely not. I can be myself around you. I don't have to act like someone else. With you I don't have to compete.'' Hotch said and he looked down at the floor and JJ noticed the sudden sadness in his eyes.

''What do you mean?''

''When I was with Haley, it was all about being the best I could be. I wanted to impress her with my grades and all the other little things but now I don't care about it anymore. With you I just want to be my simple self.''

''There is nothing simple about you, Aaron. You aren't simple. You are extraordinary. I have never met someone like you before and I probably never will.'' JJ said to reassure him of how great she thought he was.

''But you barely know anything about me.'' Hotch said.

''Well, I know some of your likes and dislikes. I know that you are an amazing kisser and I know something about your past. But you are right, we barely know each other. Let's change that.'' JJ said and she was happy to learn more about him.

''So, Aaron! Where do you see yourself in ten years from now?'' JJ asked curiously.

''Ten years? Wow, good question. In ten years I would like to be working as a prosecutor. I want to contribute to doing good in this world. I want a job that can make this world a safer place. And I would like to be married with maybe a child on the way. I just want the simple life. I want to wake up next to person I love. I want the house with the white picket fence and the happy family that lives in it.'' Hotch said with all honesty, hoping that JJ didn't get scared.

''Aww, that is sweet. I can definitely see that in your future.'' JJ stated.

''What about you? Where do you want to be in ten years?''

''I want to get a degree in criminology or criminal justice. After college I would like to take a year off to travel around the world. When I get back I would like to find a steady job and I want to spent the rest of my life around the people I love. Just like you, I want the simple life. Nothing too complicated. And maybe I want something totally different in a couple of months. I guess anything could happen.'' JJ said and she saw Hotch nodding in agreement.

''I know what you mean. I don't know if I should ask you this but when did you find out about your sister?'' Hotch asked carefully.

''It is okay. The worst thing is that I have barely talked about in the past seven years since it happened. I should have known something was going to happen. She actually came into my bedroom to say goodbye to me. My mother found Sarah in her own bedroom that same night. She overdosed on painkillers. I barely remember anything from that day. It is like a bad nightmare that will never go away.'' JJ said answer his question and she knew she was on the verge of crying.

''I am so sorry, JJ. You loved her, didn't you?''

''Of course. She was my sister. We didn't always see eye to eye but she always stood up for me. I still love her but there are times when I just can't believe why she ended her life so suddenly.''

''Your sister loved you, JJ. I really believe that. For her it was probably the only way out.'' Hotch said and he knew their conversation was getting to JJ again.

''I am sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.'' Hotch apologized.

''No, it is okay. I am glad that I can talk to you about this.'' JJ said and she looked at her watch and she saw that it was time for her to meet up with Sam.

''Sam is going to be here any minute. I have to get going.'' JJ said and she stood up and picked up her bag.

''I will go with you.'' Hotch said.

''Are you sure?'' JJ asked as she turned around to face him.

''I am sure!'' Hotch said and he gave her a soft but quick kiss on the lips before they left the dorm.

They walked hand in hand over the campus towards the parking lot where they were going to meet Sam. Hotch and JJ sat down on a bench when Sam wasn't there yet.

''JJ!'' Sam yelled when she spotted her friend.

''Hi!'' JJ greeted and she jumped from the bench to meet her friend while Hotch stayed on the bench because he wanted to give JJ some privacy.

''Oh my god! What happened to your face? Who did this to you? I will kill whoever did this to you!'' Sam exclaimed.

''It was my dad, Sam.'' JJ confessed.

''What? Why?''

''I told you about Sarah but I never told you why she killed herself or at least why I think she killed herself. You know my parents are strict and always have been, right?''

''Yeah. I know that. They are control freaks.'' Sam said in a agreement.

'''Well, you don't know everything. My parents have always had these stupid rules and Sarah never broke them until she turned sixteen. She started going out more and every time she did something to break the rules, my father would beat her. It was always in ways so an outsider couldn't see it. The same happened to me today. For the first time, though.'' JJ explained and she saw the shock on her friends face.

''Why didn't you tell me, JJ? You know you could have, right?'' Sam said emotionally.

''I know, Sam. I am so sorry that I didn't but I felt so embarrassed.''

''JJ, you are my best friend. There is nothing to be ashamed off. Your father is the pig.'' Sam said and she pulled her friend into a tight hug.

In the meantime Hotch was still sitting on the bench. He watched as JJ gathered up the courage to tell Sam what was going on. After their conversation, they flew into each other's arms and Hotch could see that JJ was tearing-up. He wanted to console her but he realized that she needed some time with her friend.

''You should come live with me, JJ. You can have my sister's room.'' Sam suggested and she knew it was a crazy plan but she would do anything for her friend.

''How do you want to do that? Do you think your parents would ever agree to that? And I need to go home first.'' JJ said to Sam as they were walking towards Hotch.

''They will agree if they know what happened. You would have to talk to them but they love you like a daughter, JJ. You know that. I think you were more at my place than we ever where at yours. Just think about it!'' Sam said to JJ.

''Think about what?'' Hotch asked curiously.

''Sam suggested that I could live with her. They have a free room because her sister is at college in Florida.'' JJ replied.

''Hi Aaron!'' Sam greeted.

''Hey Sam!'' Hotch greeted back.

''JJ, that sounds perfect. Would your parents agree to this?'' Hotch asked as he turned his attention to Sam.

''I know they will but we need to explain the situation to them.'' Sam answered.

''What do you think, JJ?'' Hotch asked and he looked at JJ.

''It would be best but I don't know how to explain all of this. And what about my parents?'' JJ asked nervously.

''Your parents don't have the right to decide on this. The most important thing is that we find a place for you to live. I don't want you to go back to that house because I know it will go wrong again….'' Hotch said but he was interrupted by JJ.

''Aaron, please!'' JJ pleaded.

''No JJ. You deserve more than this. I will go home with you to get your stuff. It is going to be okay.'' Hotch said to reassure her.

JJ stayed silent to think. She was weighing all her options. She knew that going home wasn't a option because she would never be allowed to do anything other than school. She also knew that her father would become even more abusive.

''Okay, I want to talk to Sam's parents.'' JJ said finally.

''Great!'' Sam said excitedly.

''Let's go!'' Hotch said.

''Now?'' JJ asked surprised.

''Yes!'' Sam and Hotch said at the same time.

JJ followed Hotch and Sam towards Hotch's car. They stepped in the car and they drove away. JJ wasn't saying much because she didn't know how she was going to explain this to Sam's parents. They were like second parents to her and she knew they would welcome her with open arms but she didn't want to many people to know about her dad. She wanted to keep it a secret because she felt ashamed of her own father.

When they finally pulled up in front of Sam's house, JJ couldn't help but shiver and feel nervous.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am sorry for the wait. Here is the next chapter! I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Jotchprossi18, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, 14hpgirl19, spk, Twilightangell, Liviia and MollyR!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Moving in**

JJ was still sitting in the car. They were in front of Sam's house. JJ knew she had to talk to Sam's parents. She realized that they were going to have a lot of questions but they would support her no matter what. Sam and JJ had been best friends since they could talk. JJ and Sam grew up which each other, so JJ knew her parents really well. They were the exact opposite of her own. They supported Sam through her decisions and they let her have freedom. John and Tina Taylor were always there for their daughter. JJ always admired Sam's parents. She loved her own parents a lot but she knew there was always something missing with them.

JJ was startled when there was a soft knock on the window of the backseat. She looked outside and she saw that Hotch and Sam were already out of the car. JJ quickly joined while gathering up all the courage she had within her in that moment.

''Are you okay?'' Hotch asked caringly.

''No, but I have to do this.'' JJ replied and she followed Sam as they made their way towards the house. JJ and Hotch locked their hands. Hotch gave JJ a reassuring look to let her know that she wasn't alone.

''Ready! Let's go!'' Sam said and she unlocked the door to her own house as if a huge surprise would be awaiting them.

They walked inside and they heard voices coming from the kitchen. Sam gestured for Hotch and JJ to wait in the hallway as she went into the kitchen.

''Sam! Where have you been?'' Tina asked her daughter.

''I was…uh…I…'' Sam tried to say but she stopped talking when she saw that Eric and Emma Jareau were standing in her kitchen.

''You were? What is it honey?'' John asked when he noticed that Sam looked astonished.

''What are you doing here Mr. and Mrs. Jareau?'' Sam asked as politely as she possibly could.

''We have been looking for JJ and we thought she would be here because you are her best friend.'' Emma said.

''Do you know where she is, Sam? Eric told us that JJ is having a lot of problems with the guy she has been dating. We are all worried about her!'' Tina said and she had no idea what really happened.

''What?'' Sam asked surprised and she wanted to yell at JJ's father but she knew that wouldn't be a good idea.

''JJ isn't having problems with the guy she is dating. JJ is having problems with her own father. He be…'' Sam tried to say but she was interrupted.

''Don't take that tone of voice with me young lady!'' Eric said to warn Sam to keep her mouth shut.

''What is going on, Sam? Why are you talking so loud?'' John asked.

''He is lying. I…I…JJ has to tell you this herself.'' Sam said.

In the meantime Hotch and JJ kept standing in the hallway as they listened to the raised voices. When JJ heard Sam yell out her name, she slowly started to make her way to the kitchen. She told Hotch to stay in the hallway because his presence could only make things worse for everyone.

''Hello.'' JJ greeted softly when she finally entered the kitchen.

''JJ! There you are. We were so worried!'' Eric said as fake as he possibly could and he tried to walk closer to JJ.

''Don't!'' JJ yelled as she took a few steps back to keep space between her and her father.

''What is going on? And what happened to your face, JJ?'' Tina asked when JJ stood next to Sam.

''My father did this to me.'' JJ said as she softly touched her own cheek. She saw the angry look on her dad's face but she didn't care anymore.

''He hit you?'' John asked with astonishment.

''Yeah. It was only one time but he used to hit Sarah as well. When he saw me kissing…uhhh…my boyfriend, he hit me when we were home. He used to do it to Sarah all the time.'' JJ said and she sighed deeply. A tear fell down her face and Sam put an arm around her friend.

''It this true?'' Tina asked angrily.

''No, she is just trying to make me look bad. I hit her once. Only today.'' Eric said.

''You are lying!'' JJ yelled and she wanted to run away. She felt sick when she saw her own father. She wanted to go back in time and save her sister from the hell she had been in. For the first time in her life, JJ knew what Sarah had gone through. One time was bad enough for JJ and she couldn't imagine what Sarah had to live with.

''She is telling the truth!'' Sam added to try and convince her parents but she saw that they didn't know who to believe.

''Sam, you shouldn't interfere in this.'' Emma said.

''Like hell I shouldn't. JJ is my best friend. I am not going to leave her hanging like you have. She deserves so much more from you. Tell my parents the truth!'' Sam ordered.

Hotch was still standing in the hallway as his anger was getting worse. He felt like hitting JJ's father. He wanted to wake up her mother for not defending her own daughter. He knew it had only been one time but a mother was supposed to protect her children from anything. He kept listening but he wanted nothing more than to walk into the kitchen and join the conversation to help JJ.

''Is my daughter, right?'' John asked as he watched JJ fall apart in Sam's arms and he knew they weren't faking it. Those kind of tears could never be faked and he knew it.

''Yes.'' Emma said in a soft whisper and Eric looked at her with even more anger.

''You did this to your own daughter? How could you? You did it to Sarah? The daughter that killed herself?'' John yelled angrily because he couldn't believe it. JJ had always been like a daughter to him and Tina. They had two daughters of their own but that never changed anything about how they felt towards JJ.

''She isn't your daughter, John. Stay out of it! She is coming with us!'' Eric said and he walked towards JJ to pull her away but John stepped in front of her.

''Like hell is she is!'' John said.

''JJ, can live here with us. I want her to be safe. She needs to be able to finish her senior year without any stress.'' John said.

''Really?'' JJ asked.

''No, you are not!'' Eric said and JJ cringed at his raised voice.

''Yes, she is.'' John said.

''You are staying with us, sweetheart.'' Tina said and she pulled Sam and JJ behind her.

''Mom! Dad! I am eighteen I can make my own choices now. I will move in here. I can't live at home anymore. I wish everything was different but I know it is never going to be. I have never had any kind of freedom. I want to build my own life!'' JJ said to both of her parents and she felt proud when she had finally said what she needed to say.

''JJ, I can't lose you. I can't lose another daughter.'' Emma said emotionally.

''Mom, I have never been good enough for you. I always had to do everything Sarah did. I needed to followed her dreams according to you. I had to get the same grades. Getting a B in math is a disappointment to you. I have heard to many times that I am not good enough and I can't live with this anymore!'' JJ explained to her mother.

''You act like a disappointment. You have always been a bad daughter and you will always be one!'' Eric yelled.

When Hotch heard that comment he couldn't keep himself together anymore. Hearing someone say that about JJ, made him explode.

''You don't know what you are saying! Your daughter is amazing! You don't know anything. You don't deserve to be a father. You are a piece of garbage!'' Hotch yelled when he was standing in the kitchen and she saw everybody looking at him in surprise because no one knew who he was.

''Aaron, don't do this!'' JJ pleaded.

''Who are you?'' John and Tina asked at the same time.

''This is Aaron. My boyfriend.'' JJ said in front of Hotch for the first time.

''You caused all of this!'' Eric yelled at Hotch.

''Emma. Eric. You should leave now. I will be stopping by within the hour to pick up JJ's stuff.'' John said and he waited until they finally left.

''JJ, I am so sorry about all of this. Do you really want to stay here?'' John asked.

''Yes, of course. Thank you so much for doing this. I don't know what I would have done without you.'' JJ said as she looked at Tina and John.

''Your welcome. We are happy to have you here. You can have Jill's room. She will be in Florida for another year.'' Tina said.

''I am going to pick up some of your stuff. What do you need?'' John asked.

''Not much. The clothes I wear are already here. I only need my schoolbag, laptop and my books. And there is a jewelry box and photo album in my nightstand. There isn't more that I need.'' JJ said.

''Okay. I will be back soon.'' John said.

''So, now we have a new addition to this family. Aaron tell us something about yourself! Where are you going to school?'' Tina asked curiously when things had finally calmed down.

''I am in my last year at Georgetown. My major is in Law.'' Hotch replied and a smile appeared on his face.

''That is impressive.'' Tina complemented.

''I will give you all some privacy.'' Tina continued and she walked out of the kitchen into the living room.

''You are moving into my house!'' Sam exclaimed.

''It is going to be weird when are we living in the same house.'' JJ stated.

''Oh come on! We practically grew up in the same house. This will not be problem. And Jill's room is really nice.'' Sam said.

''I know. I don't know how I can ever thank you parents for this.''

''They don't want a thank-you. They are happy to have you. I will join my mom in the living room while the two of you say goodbye!'' Sam said and she disappeared.

JJ watched her friend walk away. She turned around to face Hotch and she couldn't help but smile. There were still people who were willing to help her and she knew this was her best option. She knew she couldn't live with her parents any longer.

''How are you?'' Hotch asked softly.

''I am doing a lot better.''

''Good. At least it will not be as hard for me to go. I am glad that you are feeling better, JJ.'' Hotch said.

''Do have any plan for tonight?''

''Yeah, I am hanging out with Mike and some of my other friends. You and Sam could come by if you would like to!'' Hotch suggested.

''That would be fun. I need something to distract me, and Sam will definitely like it. I guess I will see you tonight then.'' JJ said and they were standing in front of the door.

''You will.'' he said and he leaned down to give JJ a soft kiss on the lips before he left.

JJ closed the door behind him and she leaned against it. She couldn't not believe that she was now going to be living with her friend. She still couldn't believe that everything with her parents was so messed up that she needed to move out for her own sake. JJ was already looking forward to the night to come. She needed the distraction and she was excited about meeting Hotch's friends.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: I am sorry for the wait. I haven't had much time in the last few days and I feel like this chapter isn't any good but I still hope you guys like it! I have more time to write tomorrow which means I will definitely update tomorrow as well. **

**Special thanks to Bitey11, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, Twilightangell and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Meeting the friends**

Three hours later…

JJ and Sam were getting ready to go meet and Hotch and his friends. JJ and Sam's parents talked about JJ's situation. They agreed that JJ could live with them as long as she needed to and they weren't going to send her back to her parents. They wanted JJ to be out of harm's way. JJ started settling into her new room and there wasn't much that she needed from her parents' house. Most of her good clothes were already at Sam's house.

JJ was in the bathroom after she had taken a quick shower before they were leaving to go to Hotch. JJ changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a simple tank top. She quickly brushed her hair and she was ready to go after she left the bathroom. Sam was ready as well. After saying goodbye to her parents, they stepped into the car and drove away.

''Have you met his friends before?'' Sam asked curiously.

''No, I know his best friends is named Mike but I don't know about the rest. I honestly don't even know if he is close with his other friends.'' JJ answered.

''Okay. I hope he has some cute friends.''

''Why do you want to be with a guy so badly?'' JJ asked because she couldn't understand what drove Sam so crazy about guys.

''Because I want what you have, JJ.''

''What is that?''

''When I look at you and Aaron, I see what I have always wanted. You guys have only been together for a week and it seems perfect.'' Sam explained.

''It is not perfect, Sam. Nothing is perfect. Look at my parents. Look at my sister.'' JJ said, knowing that Sam was right as well.

''I don't mean you parents or your sister. Look at how great you and Aaron are together. He was there for you through something horrible. He stood by you and he didn't leave, JJ and you guys have only known each other for a week.''

''I know. And you are right, Sam. I didn't believe in love at first sight but I do now. I don't know if I am already in love with him but what I am feeling is definitely something special. I just still worries me that he just broke up with his ex the same day we met.'' JJ said and she saw Sam looking at her in shock.

''His ex?'' Sam said surprised.

''Yeah. I haven't told you yet. She broke up with him the same Friday we met. They were together for six years. Their relationship started in high school. She broke up with him because she lives in New-York.'' JJ explained and she still didn't like to talk about it. She had no idea what Haley looked like but she knew Hotch had to love her because he had been with her for six years.

''That is a really long time. Does he still love her?''

''I don't know. He told me that he forgets about her when he is with me.'' JJ replied.

''Okay.''

''What does that mean?''

''Just be careful, JJ. I don't want you to be heartbroken because there is a chance that he might still be in love with his ex. Take is slow is all I can say.'' Sam suggested because she was only looking out for her friend.

''I will.'' JJ agreed.

The rest of the ride they talked about the fact that JJ was living with Sam. They arrived at Georgetown quickly. They both stepped from the car. Hotch had sent JJ a text, telling her that she could come to his dorm room.

''How do I look?'' Sam asked suddenly when they were walking over the parking lot of the campus.

''You look amazing!'' JJ said. JJ had always been intimidated by her best friends appearance. Her dark brown curly hair was long and her brown eyes popped. She was a beautiful girl and JJ never understood that Sam could be insecure about herself.

''I hope so!''

''How do I look?'' JJ asked as she twirled around for fun. She felt ashamed about the bruise she had on her cheek but she decided to have fun. She wanted to forget about the afternoon she had. She just wanted to be herself and let go for a change which she finally had a chance for.

''You look hot!'' Sam said happily.

''Wow, you sound like a guy!'' JJ joked teasingly.

''It is what Aaron would say.'' Sam said, not noticing that Hotch was waiting in the hallway for them.

''What would I say?'' Hotch asked out of nowhere and they both were surprised to see him.

''Oh, absolutely nothing you need to know about. Hi!'' JJ greeted and Hotch gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

''Hey!'' he greeted after pulling away.

''Hi, Aaron!'' Sam said in a childish way to tease JJ.

''You two seem really happy.'' Hotch commented when both of them broke down in laughter.

''What is so funny?'' Mike said when he joined them in the hallway after hearing the commotion.

''I have no idea. JJ, I would like you to meet my best friend who I also my roommate.'' Hotch said.

''JJ and Sam, this is Mike. Mike meet JJ and Sam.'' Hotch said as they all greeted each other.

''It is great to finally meet you, JJ. I have heard great things about you from my boy over here.'' Mike said.

''Things, huh? What kind of things?'' JJ asked curiously when she noticed that Hotch started blushing.

''Nothing. Let's go inside!'' Hotch said and he opened the door to let JJ and Sam in at first.

When they were inside, JJ saw four other guys sitting on the floor playing games and she had to laugh. She expected college guys to drink beer and play poker. She liked the fact that they were playing games instead of getting drunk with each other.

''Guys, meet JJ and Sam!'' Hotch said loudly to get above the sound of the TV.

''Meet my other buddies, Scott, Danny, Shawn and Craig.'' Hotch said to JJ and Sam.

JJ was already sitting between all the other guys while Hotch and Sam were still standing. Hotch was laughing when he saw JJ interact with the guys and he was happy that she didn't mind to hang out with them. Haley never wanted that and he always had to choose between her and his friends. And that was a choice he never wanted to make but he always choose Haley when it came down to it.

''Can I talk to you outside?'' Sam asked Hotch.

''Of course!'' he replied and they walked out of the dorm.

They started walking through the hallway and Sam realized she was about to have a talk with her best friends boyfriend and she didn't know if it was right. Sam just wanted to make sure that Hotch was in it for the right reasons.

''JJ, told me about your ex-girlfriend. What happened?'' Sam asked, hoping that Hotch was going to be open about it.

''Look Sam, you are nice. You are JJ's friend and I get that you want to protect her but there are some thing that don't concern you.'' Hotch said to Sam, knowing that he was right and he didn't want her to interfere in the relationship.

''I know and I understand. But JJ is my best friend. I don't want her to get hurt. All I am saying is that I will hurt you when you hurt her. She likes you so much and I couldn't stand to see her heartbroken.''

''I would never dream of hurting her. I care so much about her. JJ is an amazing girl who deserves the best from anyone. I promise you that I will not hurt her.'' Hotch promised and he saw Sam looking at him with a smile.

They talked for a long time until JJ stuck her head around the door to see where they had been.

''There the two of you are!'' JJ said excitedly as she walked towards them.

''Hey, did the guys treat you well?'' Hotch asked.

''They are nice. I really like them. I think I should ask one of them to be my boyfriend.'' JJ joked and she saw Hotch looking sadly.

''I will go in there and leave the two of you here alone.'' Sam said and she disappeared into the room.

''Come on!'' Hotch said as he took JJ's hand and he pulled her with him.

They walked to his car at first and he pulled out a couple of blankets. Together they walked towards the small park and they sat down under the big tree. The weather was cold but JJ crawled against Hotch's side and they had blankets pulled over them for warmth.

''This is perfect!'' JJ sighed deeply as she let her head rest on his shoulder.

''It is.'' Hotch agreed.

A silence fell between them as they watched the stars together. The sky was clear and the stars looked beautiful. It was one of those moments were all of their problems just seemed to fade away. It only mattered that they were in each other's arms.

''Beautiful, isn't it?'' Hotch asked.

''Yeah, it really is. They are so bright tonight.''

''The stars aren't the only beautiful thing around here. You are beautiful, JJ.'' Hotch whispered into her ear and he felt JJ shiver.

''How do you do that?''

''Do what?''

''How do you make me feel so happy when I just had one of the worst days ever?'' JJ asked.

''I don't know. I am not doing much here. I know what you mean, JJ. This is perfect. You are perfect.''

''No one is perfect, Aaron. Can I ask you a question?'' she asked softly.

''Yeah. Go ahead!''

''Do you still think about Haley?'' JJ asked carefully because she didn't want to upset him.

''No, I don't. I am here with you, JJ. I don't want you to doubt my motives.'' Hotch said, slightly irritated.

''I am not. It is just…I…I don't know…'' JJ said but she couldn't find the right words.

''I get that you asked the question but I am really in this for the right reasons. I know this can be a lot more and I want to take things as slow as you want them to go. I would do anything for you.'' he said softly and he tightened his grip around JJ's waist.

''Okay. I want this to. I am really happy right now.'' JJ stated and a smile formed on her face.

''Me too.''

They sat there for another two hours when JJ started to fall asleep when the tiredness finally hit her. Hotch tried to wake her up because he knew she needed to go home to get the sleep she needed.

''JJ, wake up sweetheart!'' Hotch said softly as he stroke her cheek.

''Hmmmm'' JJ mumbled.

Hotch stood up and he pulled JJ up with him. She leaned against him on the way back to his dorm. When they were back inside, Sam was asleep as well and he decided to bring them home himself because it wasn't a good idea for them to drive.

After getting them both in the car, he finally drove towards Crestwood. The drive was twenty minutes and JJ and Sam slept the entire time.

JJ woke up when they pulled up in front of Sam's house and she hated herself for falling asleep on Hotch but she knew she had no energy left in her.

''JJ, come on.'' Hotch said as he helped her from the car,

They walked towards the front door and Sam opened it. She said goodbye to Hotch and went inside.

''I had an amazing time!'' Hotch said.

''Me too.''

''I will see you soon. Take care!'' Hotch said and he turned back to his car after JJ was inside.

Hotch stepped into his car and he thought about JJ. Their relationship was growing quickly. He never expected it to be so fast. And he realized that his feelings were growing. He missed her a lot when they were apart and that was something he had never felt before. If he was honest with himself he knew it scared him because he just got out of a serious relationship with Haley but JJ was different. He felt different around her. It felt like something more.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: Another chapter! I hope everyone likes it. I am really happy with this story so far. In a while there will ''THE'' moment/scene between JJ and Hotch and I am doubting if I should write in (some) detail or just in a couple of sentences and get it over with. Let me know what you guys think because it is important for me to know what you guys think about it because I value your opinions and I am asking now because it will take me a long time to write it. Thanks!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, hotchfan1, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, Bitey11 and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: I love you**

Three weeks later…

All the weeks passed by quickly. Hotch and JJ tried to spent as much time together as they possibly could. Both of them were busy with school and work. JJ found a job as a waitress in a local diner and she was earning money of her own. Hotch found a job as an intern for a law firm. Their lives were busy and they only saw each other once or twice a week but when they were together it was always amazing. The rest of the days they would call for hours or they would text each other every second they could. Their relationship had only grown stronger and it was turning into something real. JJ had never been happier in her entire life. Everything at Sam's house was going great. Her grades were fantastic and soccer was the same as always. She hadn't been in contact with her parents because she knew it would be too hard but she wasn't missing them too much.

Hotch was happy as well. Every second he spent with JJ were like moments he could breathe again. Without her he felt lost and he realized he loved her. He still didn't tell her how he felt because he didn't want to scare her away. Hotch had never expected to fall in love with someone else so quickly. Haley wasn't on his mind anymore. He could only think about JJ and his future with her. He had no idea what it looked like because JJ still didn't know where she wanted to go to college. Her graduation was only three months away and after that they had an entire summer to spent together but Hotch didn't know what was going to happen afterwards. He wanted JJ to be happy and to follow her dreams and he knew he would never stand in the way of her own happiness.

It was a Saturday. It was their one month anniversary and Hotch had a surprise planned for JJ. She knew they were going to do something together but she had no idea what he had planned. Hotch wanted it to be special and he had a surprise for JJ. It wasn't big or to special but he wanted to show her what she meant to him.

* * *

Georgetown…

Hotch was changing into his dark blue suit. He was wearing a dark blue suit jacket with the matching slacks. He had a white dress shirt on without a tie. The first few buttons on his shirt were open because he didn't want to look to dressed up. He looked into the mirror and he thought he looked okay. He turned around to see Mike laughing at him.

''What are you laughing about?'' Hotch asked loudly.

''I am laughing about you. I have never seen you so nervous man. Are you going to ask her to marry you or something? You look like you are living in Antarctica!'' Mike said to tease Hotch when he noticed that he was shaking slightly.

''No. I am just a bit nervous about tonight.''

''Why? You guys have been together for a month right? What is so different about this date than all the others?'' Mike asked curiously as he watched his friend pacing up and down their dorm.

''Nothing. I just…I…I…damn it!'' Hotch said loudly and he dropped to his bed.

''Oh my god!'' Mike exclaimed.

''What?'' Hotch asked with a lot of irritation present in his voice.

''You love her, don't you?''

''What? No!'' Hotch lied easily because he didn't want Mike to tease him.

''Yes, you do.''

''So, what? Yes, I do love her. I am in love with her. Is there something wrong about that?''

''No, there is nothing wrong about that. I can see that you love her. You seem so much happier with JJ than you ever were with Haley but it has only been one month. You guys are moving really quickly.'' Mike explained and he was only expressing some of his concern.

''I know. There is just something about JJ. It is the way she enjoys life and so much more. She is just a down-to-earth girl. She is exactly what I need in someone. And I have to admit that I never expected it to go this fast.'' Hotch admitted and he rose from the bed because it was time for him to leave.

''Tell her how you feel, Aaron!'' Mike said before Hotch was about to leave.

''I will. Bye, Mike.'' Hotch said and he closed the door behind him.

He was really nervous but he knew it were the good kind of nerves. He was happy with JJ and what they had together. She was everything he thought he could never find in anyone and he had been lucky enough to meet her.

* * *

Crestwood…

JJ was going through her closet to find something to wear for her date with Hotch. She wanted to wear something special because the occasion was important to her. She had been going through her closet over and over again but there was nothing she liked. She didn't have any nice dresses hanging in the closet.

''Stop worrying!'' Sam said suddenly from the other side of the room and she scared JJ with her raised voice.

''I will when I have something to wear. I need something special. Something that will surprise him. It needs to be perfect.'' JJ explained to her friend and she turned around and her mouth dropped wide open. JJ saw Sam standing with a beautiful dress in her hands. It was a long purple dress with a split in the side. The dress had thin straps for the shoulder.

''This is perfect, JJ.'' Sam said as she motioned towards JJ with the dress in her hands.

''No, I can't wear that.''

''Yes, you will.'' Sam said to object.

''Where did you get this?''

''It was in an old box in the attic. My mom told me that Jill stored it there along with a lot of other clothes. When I saw it, I knew it would be perfect for you, JJ. Put it on!'' Sam ordered and she handed the dress to JJ.

JJ pulled her long sweater over her head. She carefully took the dress in her hands and she put it on. Sam closed the zipper. JJ stepped in front of the mirror and she saw that it fitted her perfectly. The dress hugged her curves perfectly and her legs looked even longer in it. She also put on a pair of high heels. Her hair was up and her make-up was done as well. She was ready to go but she also felt nervous about everything.

''What is up with you?'' Sam asked when she noticed that her friend was fidgeting.

''I am nervous, Sam. I am in love with this guy and I don't know how to tell him. He is this amazing guy but I don't know how to tell him that I love him.'' JJ explained.

''I knew you loved him. This is great!'' Sam said happily and she flew into JJ's arms.

JJ had always admired Sam's happiness for others. JJ was lucky to have her as a best friend. She had stuck by JJ through everything and they had never had a real fight before. Sure, they had their discussions but they never ended in anger.

''So, did you already seal the deal?'' Sam asked curiously.

''Sam!'' JJ yelled.

''What! It is a normal question? I don't have a boyfriend so I am living vicariously through you, girl.'' Sam said happily when she saw JJ blushing.

''Nothing has happened yet. And it going to take longer than a month. I am not ready for that, Sam. It is going to take a long time for me to get ready for that part of the relationship.'' JJ said with all honesty and she wasn't ashamed of it.

''I understand. That is good of you.''

''But I have to say that kissing him is like heaven. We can do it for hours, I promise you!'' JJ said.

''Stop! I have heard enough already.'' Sam said to stop JJ from talking about more.

The doorbell rang. JJ froze for a bit. She quickly grabbed her purse. She walked downstairs and Sam followed her to the door. When JJ opened it, she saw Sam ducking behind it.

''Hey!'' JJ greeted happily. She saw Hotch standing in front of her in a suit and he looked absolutely gorgeous. She wasn't used to him being so dressed up but she wanted to see him more like that.

''Hi. JJ, you look stunning. I mean, wow!'' Hotch said with a grin as his eyes traced along JJ's perfect body. He still couldn't believe how lucky he was. If he was honest, he thought JJ was really beautiful and if he brutally honest he knew she was hot. Haley was beautiful but she wasn't a girl with a great personality. With JJ he had everything. She was beautiful on the inside and the outside.

''Thanks.'' JJ said and she closed the door behind her.

Hotch took her hand and they made their way towards his car. Hotch opened the door for JJ and he quickly jumped inside the car himself.

Hotch was driving and he knew that JJ knew where they were going. He had no idea if she liked his idea. It was simple but he wanted to have a date in a spot that was special to both of them.

He pulled up in the parking lot of Georgetown. He helped JJ from the car and he took her hand in his. They walked back to their spot. To the tree where they first met, where they had their first date and where they kissed for the very first time. It was the spot that meant everything to the both of them.

As they were walking closer, JJ could see candles lit. She noticed a table with two chairs under the tree. The food was already on there and Mike was waiting for them like the last time. She loved what he had done. It was almost the same as their first date and that was exactly why she loved it even more.

''Do you like it? I know it is kind of the same but I…'' he tried to say but JJ interrupted him.

''It is perfect, Aaron. I love it.'' JJ said to let him know what she thought about it.

''Good. Let's sit down and eat.'' Hotch said.

JJ sat down and she was shivering slightly because there was a cold breeze. JJ suddenly felt the soft fabric of Hotch's jacket on her shoulders.

''Thank you.'' JJ said thankfully and she gave Hotch one of her cute smiles.

''You know, you look so cute when you do that.'' Hotch said while he watched JJ closely.

''That sounds silly.''

''Well, it is not.''

They ate their dinner and they talked about school, soccer, work and even the weather while they were both avoiding their feelings because they were afraid to scare the other away. When they were done Hotch decided to speak up. He wanted to let JJ know how he truly felt about her and he knew it was important.

''JJ, I know it has only been a month but I got you something. This day means a lot to me and I wanted to give you something. It might be too much. Just open it!'' Hotch said as he gave JJ a small present.

''Thank you. I got you something as well.'' JJ said and she handed Hotch the gift.

''I will open it first.'' Hotch said nervously because he had no idea what JJ was going to say about his gift.

He tore off the paper and he opened a box. In it was a beautiful watch. It looked really expensive and he didn't want to take it.

''JJ, this is beautiful and I love it but I can't take this. It is way too expensive.'' Hotch said.

''It is fine. I want you to have it and it wasn't a problem because Sam's father own a jewelry store. Just take it!'' JJ said to him and she smiled when he put it on.

''Thank you!'' he said and he leaned over the table to give her a quick kiss.

''Now open yours.'' Hotch said to JJ when she wasn't doing anything.

JJ opened the present and she saw a tiny jewelry box. She opened it and there was a beautiful silver ring in it. The ring had diamonds on it and her mouth dropped open.

''Is this an eternity ring?'' JJ asked in a whisper.

''Yes. My stepfather gave this to my mom before they got married. My mother was never happy in her first marriage but she was in her second. She told me that my stepfather was the love of her life and the ring represented the eternal love they would always have for each other no matter if they were apart of together. My mom gave this to me before she died. She wanted me to give this to someone who would be my eternal love.'' Hotch explained.

''Aaron, do you? I mean, do you lo...me…me?'' JJ said when there were no words to be found in her vocabulary.

''Yes, I do. I love you, JJ. I love you. I was so scared to say this but I do. And this ring is a sign of my love for you. I want you to have it.'' he said as he put the ring on one of JJ's fingers.

''I love you to, Aaron.'' JJ confessed and then it started to rain.

The rain was suddenly pouring down and JJ and Hotch were already wet when they were rising from their chairs.

''Where do you want to go?'' JJ asked.

''Let's go to the car. It is closer.'' Hotch said and he grabbed JJ's hand and he pulled her along with him.

They ran through the rain with their hands locked. When they finally reached the car, JJ leaned against it. Hotch put his arms around her waist. He leaned into her body to kiss her. All of their kisses were amazing but this one felt magical. It was like everything was just right. Their lips met in a hungry, passionate and loving kiss while the rain was running down their faces. Their tongues met. Their movements matched. Hotch's hands were sliding up and down her sides while JJ's hands were in his hair. Hotch pushed his body against JJ's and she collided with the car. He felt the heat coming from her body and he didn't want to stop. Their fight for dominance went on until they both needed to pull away to catch their breaths. They were both soaking wet and Hotch opened the door to the backseat and they both climbed inside.

When they were both inside Hotch was caught off guard when JJ suddenly straddled him. Their lips were glued together again and he felt JJ's hands on his chest. As they were kissing, JJ was opening the buttons to his shirt. When his shirt was open, her hands were roaming around his muscular chest but she finally stopped and she sat back down next to him.

''I am sorry. I am not ready.'' JJ said to Hotch.

''It is fine, JJ. I know you are not ready and you don't have to be. We can wait as long as you want. I am not going to force you into anything.'' Hotch said to calm JJ down.

''I know, you wouldn't. Thank you!'' JJ said happily and she rested her head on his bare chest.

''I love you, JJ. I will never ever do anything to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to stand it.''

''I love you to, Aaron. Thank you for the ring! It is amazing.''

''Your welcome. You deserve it, JJ. We should go back to my dorm. You can stay with me for the night. Mike is visiting his parents, so it will not be a problem.'' Hotch suggested.

''Great.'' JJ said.

They stepped from the car and went back to his dorm after cleaning up under the tree. JJ was tired when they were finally inside the room. They both changed into more comfortable clothes and they crawled into a bed together. They fell asleep quickly with the best feeling either one of them had ever had in their lives before.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Another chapter! I hope everyone likes it! Well, I hope this story isn't becoming too confusing. If you have questions you can always ask and I will be happy to answer all of them!**

**Special thanks to Jimmelfan12, 14hpgirl19, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, guest, Bitey11 and Jotchprossi18!**

**And I would like to answer the questions Rid3ThatChocob0 asked: **_**there will be at least three other chapters in the past. I don't know exactly how many. I am sorry I don't have a better answer to that question. This story will be definitely go back to the present. This part of the story is to show what they went through together. The part of the story that will be in the present is going to revolve around them meeting again. When I am back in the present there will also be flashes to the time when they were apart. I hope I answered your question! You can always ask anything!**_

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: First fight**

Two months later…

Two months had passed by like they were only a week. JJ had finally decided that she wanted to go to Georgetown. At first she wanted to go to the University of Pittsburgh with a soccer scholarship but she wanted to study something different and she didn't want to give up her dream. She still hadn't seen her parents and she wasn't planning on it. It was all becoming real for JJ and she realized that there was just another month left before graduation. She knew what she was going to do but she had no idea what Hotch wanted. He was leaving Georgetown because he was finishing his masters in Law. JJ knew he wanted to work after getting his degree but he didn't let her know where he wanted to go or if he had already found a job. JJ didn't want to be too far away from him. Their relationship was still growing and she knew she couldn't stand to be away from him. It was hard enough for the both of them when they didn't get to see each other for three or four days. JJ was head over heels in love with him and she still couldn't believe how lucky she was. She wanted to be with him for as long as she could be. She knew she was still young and most people would call her naïve but she couldn't think about not being with Hotch. She didn't want to think about that possibility. It wasn't an option for her because in the short time that she knew him, he had become the world to her.

* * *

Georgetown…

Hotch was walking through the hallways after he just came out of his class. He didn't have any other classes for the day and he wanted to surprise JJ at work. He was about to turn around the corner when he heard someone call out his name.

''Aaron!'' a voice said loudly from the other side of the hallway.

Hotch turned around and he saw one of his professors waiting for him to walk back. He quickly made his way back.

''Hello, professor Rogers.'' Hotch as he stopped in his tracks.

''I wanted to talk to you about your internship. Do you have moment to talk in private?''

''Of course, sir.'' Hotch said and he followed the professor to his office at the end of the hallway.

''Have a seat.''

''Thank you, sir.'' Hotch said and he sat down.

''I know you have an internship at a local law firm. I also know that you would prefer to get an internship at the DA's office in DC.'' the professor said.

''I know that it is impossible to get an internship. That is exactly why I have one at the law firm.'' Hotch explained.

''Well, I have good news for you, Aaron. A friend of mine works at the DA's office in New-York and he is looking for one intern. I recommended you because you have been an outstanding student and I know you deserve it. The internship will be for the entire summer.'' the professor said and Hotch couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was everything he wanted but he also didn't know what would happen with him and JJ.

''That is great news, sir. Do I have to interview for the internship?'' Hotch asked curiously.

''No, you don't have to. You can start halfway through June. They are expecting you then. I gave him your number and e-mail.''

''Thank you. I don't know how to thank you for this opportunity.''

''Just show them how good you are.'' the professor said.

''I will. Bye.'' Hotch said and he left the office with mixed feelings. He didn't want to pass up an opportunity like that. But he had no idea how to tell JJ that they wouldn't be together for the summer. As he was making his way to his dorm he started to stress. He knew JJ was going on vacation with her friends and he was supposed to come with them but now he probably couldn't.

He walked into his dorm and he slammed the door shut behind him. His irritation was showing and he didn't even notice Mike sitting behind his own desk.

''What happened to you?'' Mike asked.

''I got an internship at the DA's office in New-York.'' Hotch replied.

''That is awesome. That is exactly what you wanted. When do you have to start?''

''Halfway through June, just when I am supposed to be…'' Hotch tried to say but he was interrupted.

''In Florida with JJ and her friends.'' Mike said to finish the sentence.

''Yeah. JJ is graduating in the first week of June on a Friday and we were supposed to leave that same weekend. I don't know what to do. I can't pass up this opportunity. It is really important to be able to make a career but I also don't want to disappoint JJ in any way.''

''She loves you, Aaron. She will understand why you want to go to New-York. Just talk to her about everything. She will be happy for you.'' Mike said and Hotch nodded in agreement.

''I know. I just don't know how to tell her. I have to figure it out. I am going to the diner. I will see you tonight.'' Hotch said as he motioned towards the door and he closed it behind. During the drive to Crestwood he was contemplating all his options.

* * *

Crestwood…

JJ was working in the diner for the afternoon. She was happy that she could finally make some money of her own and she felt independent. She had been happier since she started living with Sam. She could finally make her own choices. She sometimes felt weird about because there was no one around who would tell that she wasn't allowed to do something.

''Hey, stranger!'' Hotch greeted and he startled JJ with his greeting.

''Oh, geez. You scared the hell out of me!'' JJ said happily when she saw Hotch sitting on a stool.

''I am sorry. I just wanted to surprise you. So surprise!'' Hotch said and he leaned forward to give JJ a quick kiss on the lips.

''It is definitely a good surprise. Do you want something to drink?'' JJ asked quickly because she needed to get back to her other customers.

''A water will be fine.'' Hotch said and he watched as JJ was multitasking different kinds of orders from the customers.

''Here you go!'' JJ said as she put the water down in front of Hotch.

''Thanks. Go do your job. I will be waiting for you.'' Hotch said to let JJ know that he okay.

''Thanks. I will be done in half an hour. But you already knew that.'' JJ said and she put her focus back onto her work.

JJ flew around the diner in the next thirty minutes. Her job wasn't easy but she loved to do it. The people she worked with were nice and she earned a lot of money with her job. After bringing the last order to a table she pulled of the apron and she grabbed Hotch's hand when she was ready to go.

''Where are we going?'' Hotch asked as he was pulled outside by JJ.

''Well, it is a surprise. Not really, though. I just want to make out with my hot boyfriend.'' JJ said with a smirk on her face. She leaned against a wall and she felt Hotch press his body against hers. His lips crashed onto hers in a fiery kiss. Hotch pressed his body against JJ's as much as he could.

''You have no idea what you do to me.'' Hotch groaned when JJ pulled away.

''I hope it is a good thing.'' JJ said.

''It Is definitely a good thing.'' Hotch said because he knew his body was responding more and more to her whenever he and JJ were closer. He was able to keep his control because he didn't want to scare JJ away. He knew she wasn't ready yet and he didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for.

''Good!'' JJ said happily.

''My place?'' Hotch asked.

''Of course.'' JJ agreed.

They made it back to the car. The drive back to Georgetown was short and they were back in the dorm before they knew it. They walked into room while Mike was still there. Hotch had his arm around JJ's shoulder as she leaned against his side.

''Wow, you two look happy.'' Mike stated when he saw the smiles on their faces.

''We are!'' JJ exclaimed and she pulled away from Hotch.

''So, I guess that you are okay with him being in New-York over the summer?'' Mike asked without realizing that JJ didn't know anything about Hotch's internship yet.

''New-York?'' JJ asked with astonishment because she had no idea what was going on.

''Oh god, she doesn't know.'' Mike commented and he quickly made his way out of the room because he could already feel the tension.

''What is he talking about?'' JJ asked Hotch.

A silence fell and JJ was getting nervous when Hotch started pacing up and down the room.

''Aaron?'' JJ asked again.

''I got an offer to work as an intern at the DA's office in New-York over the summer.'' Hotch explained.

''Why didn't you tell me?''

''I didn't want to ruin anything between us. I thought you would hate it. I just didn't know what to think about it, JJ.'' Hotch said and he saw that JJ was getting mad at him.

''Hate it? Really? It is nice to know that you think that way about me!'' JJ said angrily and she was about to walk out the door when Hotch grabbed her wrist.

''JJ, stop! I get it that you are mad at me for not telling you but I..'' he tried to say but he was interrupted.

''What? You thought I wouldn't be happy for you? You thought I would ask you to turn it down?''

''Yes!'' Hotch said loudly and he realized he made a really big mistake.

''Good to know, Aaron. Well, I am happy for you. It is everything you always wanted. Enjoy your celebration with whoever knew about it because I am leaving.'' JJ said and she walked away.

Hotch was left stunned. He knew what he said was stupid and only because he was panicking. He never meant to say those things to JJ and he knew he needed to apologize. He ran across campus to find her but he didn't see her anywhere. He knew JJ was going home, so he decided to go her home in a couple of minutes to talk to her. He didn't want to leave things unsaid.

Crestwood…

JJ took a bus back to Crestwood from Georgetown. She couldn't believe what he had said to her. She thought he knew that she was happy for him and that she never wanted to stand in the way of his happiness. JJ dropped herself to the bed and she put in her earpieces to listen to her music.

While JJ was listening to her music, she didn't hear the doorbell rang. Sam opened the door and she let Hotch inside. He made his way upstairs and he finally stopped in front of JJ's room. He didn't know how he was going to apologize to her. He finally knocked on the door but there wasn't an answer.

''JJ!'' Hotch said a little louder.

JJ pulled out the earpieces when she heard the familiar voice coming from the other side of the door.

''What do you want?'' JJ asked angrily.

''I want to talk.'' Hotch replied and he walked inside and he closed the door behind him.

''I don't want to hear it, Aaron. I am mad right now. I…I just can't believe that you would think that about me.''

''I didn't. I was just panicking, JJ. I didn't know how to tell you without disappointing you.'' Hotch explained.

''It isn't a disappointment. I am so happy for you. This is everything you always wanted.''

''I am sorry for lashing out at you.'' Hotch apologized and JJ walked closer to him.

''It is okay but I want you to be honest with me. I hate secrets and you know that.'' JJ said as Hotch pulled her into a tight embrace.

''I love you.'' he whispered into her hair as he inhaled the sweet vanilla scent from her hair.

''I love you to. When do you have to go?''

''Mid June. That means I can only go to Florida with you for a week and I don't know how we are supposed to see each other the rest of the summer.'' Hotch admitted.

''We will figure it out. I promise.'' JJ said.

They laid down on the bed. Hotch had his arms around JJ. JJ felt so comfortable and safe when she was in his arms. Her heart started racing when he was so close to her. Hotch kissed her on the lips as he was playing with her hair.

''I don't want to let you go.'' Hotch whispered into her ear and it sent a shiver through her entire body.

''You don't have to. Right now, nothing else matter but you and me.'' JJ said and she crawled closer against Hotch.

He gave her the best feeling in the world. His love still overwhelmed her. She never believed that she could find that kind of love. She never believed she would find the one but as she was laying in his arms she knew he was the one. She never wanted to leave the safety of his embrace but she knew she had to.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is a short chapter and I am sorry for that but I barely had any time today. But I wanted to update. The next chapter will be longer, I promise! I hope you guys like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Emotions**

Three weeks later…

It was the end of May and JJ was graduating in a week. The nerves had been present for a long time and she couldn't shake them. It felt like her entire life had depended on graduating. When she heard that she graduated officially, she couldn't help but be excited. Another part of JJ was worrying. In a week her high school years were really over. She was going to say goodbye to a lot of people she cared about deeply. She knew the hardest goodbyes were the ones at the end of the summer and she had no idea how she was going to deal with it. Saying goodbye to her friends was going to be hard. They were all going to different universities. JJ knew she had Hotch by her side but she didn't know what he wanted to do after his internship in New-York.

Hotch finished his midterms in May and he already had his degree in Law. There was nothing he had to do. He only needed to move out of his dorm at Georgetown. He was going to live with JJ for a week until they were going to Florida. He was going to rent a apartment in New-York when he was going to work there. He was looking forward to the internship but he already knew that he was going to miss JJ a lot. They had been together for almost four months. Their relationship was still going the same. They were happy together and they both wanted to spent a lot more time together whenever they could.

* * *

Georgetown…

JJ and Hotch were packing up his dorm room. Mike had already left and only Hotch's stuff was still in there. His clothes were already in the boxes and that only left the things that were on his desk. JJ and Hotch packed silently. Both of them knew that everything went by quickly and they wished things would have gone slower. For Hotch it was still unbelievable that he finally had his degree and that he was finished with school. He wished he was a few years younger, so he and JJ could attend Georgetown at the same time. They were both going into new chapters of their lives. JJ was graduating and going to college while Hotch was finally going to get a real job. He still had no idea what he wanted to do after his internship but he knew that he wanted to be with JJ no matter what.

''Do you think we have everything?'' JJ asked for reassurance when they were done with the packing.

''I think so.'' Hotch replied as he sat down on the edge of the bed and he sighed deeply.

''Are you okay?''

''I am okay. It is just hard to leave this place. I have been here for such a long time. I just wished my mom could have seen me. I wished she could have seen me get my degree. I don't know, I just miss her.'' Hotch said emotionally.

JJ knew Hotch was having a hard time with his mom's passing when important things were happening in his life. She just didn't know what kind of relationship he had with his mother because he never talked about her. Whenever JJ tried to talk about it, he would avoid it.

''I know she will be proud of you, Aaron. You are an amazing person.''

''I hope so.''

''I know so. Maybe I shouldn't ask this but what was your mom like?'' JJ asked carefully and she sat down next to him. She softly put her hand on his leg and she waited for him to say something.

''She was a good mother. She was a fighter. Even after my father beat her, she still lived. She tried to make the most of it and when he finally died, I remember how free she felt. She suddenly became herself and was happy. I see some of that in you as well. You are strong. You are joyful and happy. I treasure everything about you, JJ. I don't know what I would do without you.''

''She sounds like a great mother. And you actually don't have to think about being without me because you are stuck with me for a while. I love you. I am not going anywhere.'' JJ said confidently and she stepped off the bed. She knelt down between his legs and she cupped his face with her hands. She saw an emotion in his eyes she had never seen before. He looked so sad that it could make her cry. JJ knew Hotch wasn't an open person when it was about his feelings. He had built a wall and she was still breaking it down. She just wanted him to be able to tell her anything. She loved him and she wanted to be there for him.

''Aaron, talk to me. I am here. You never talk to me. I just want to be here for you. I know you don't like to talk about your feelings.''

''I am so in love with you, JJ. I never thought that these feelings were possible and they are. When Haley broke up with me, she broke my heart. But then I met you. I just don't want that to happen to us because we are both moving on with our lives. I can't even think about that. I love you too much.'' Hotch admitted.

''I feel the same way.'' JJ said and she leaned forward to kiss him gently. Hotch returned the kiss and they both got lost in it. Every time they kissed, it was like they melted together.

''We should go. Sam's parents are waiting for us.'' JJ said after she had pulled away from his embrace.

''Yeah.'' Hotch agreed and they both stood up.

They took the boxes with them to the car. When everything was in the car they left. They drove back to Crestwood.

* * *

Crestwood…

JJ and Hotch put Hotch's things into JJ's room. They ate dinner afterwards. Hotch and JJ went back upstairs afterwards to get the rest they needed. JJ dropped onto her bed and Hotch dropped down next to her. JJ automatically crawled into his side and Hotch wrapped his arms tightly around her. JJ was resting in his arms when she started thinking about Hotch's relationship with Haley. She knew they had been together for six years. She just didn't know what the relationship was like. It was one of the things she didn't know about Hotch.

''What was it like to be with Haley?'' JJ asked curiously, hoping that Hotch would give her an answer.

''Where did that come from?'' Hotch asked after JJ had just blurted out her question.

''I am just curious. I want to know what it was like. I don't know anything about it.''

''At first I was head over heels in love with her. She was the prettiest and sweetest girl at our school. The first year was the best. But as the years passed by, she became more demanding. She wanted me to be by her side every second. She wanted me to be someone I was not but I still did what she liked. I guess I was blinded by love. I really was in love with her but I don't miss it for a second. I would never trade what we have.'' Hotch said to answer JJ's question.

''That must have been really hard.'' JJ stated and she saw Hotch nod in agreement to her statement.

''It was but I thought I was happy at the time. I honestly don't know how she is doing now. I haven't been in contact with her since the break-up.''

''I am glad we are not like that. I don't like it when people are fake. I want us to be ourselves no matter what.'' JJ said.

''Me too. It is the most important thing.''

''We should go to sleep. I am exhausted.'' JJ said as she pulled away from him to crawl under the blankets. Hotch joined her under the blankets. JJ turned on her side and Hotch moved behind her and he pulled her against him.

''Sleep well!'' Hotch whispered into her ear.

''You to.'' JJ said.

They both fell asleep quickly because of their exhaustion. They were both having a hard time with the speed everything was going. Their lives were becoming more complicated as the months passed by. For now they both wanted to enjoy the moment because it could be over at any second.


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: I am sorry for the wait! This chapter is longer, as I promised. I hope everyone likes it!**

**Special thanks to Bitey11, jenny crum, guest, K.I.M, 14hpgirl19 and samcarter1980!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Doubts**

Crestwood…

It was the next morning when the sun shined through the curtains. JJ was stirring in the bed. She turned around when she felt that the other side of the bed was cold. She saw that Hotch was gone. She sat up in the bed and threw the blankets off her. She was about to climb from the bed when the door to the bedroom opened. Hotch walked inside with breakfast on a tray. He saw JJ sitting up in the bed. Her long blonde hair was disheveled and her blue eyes were full of joy. The sight of joy in her eyes always made him smile. No matter what was going on, her eyes always seemed to have all the joy of the world in them.

He walked towards the bed and he put the tray down on the end of the bed and he climbed into the bed.

''You didn't have to make breakfast.'' JJ said when he sat down next to her.

''I wanted to.''

''Well, it is really sweet of you.'' JJ said as she pulled the blankets over her again.

''Good morning, beautiful!'' Hotch said and he leaned down towards JJ to give her a kiss on the lips.

''Good morning, handsome!'' JJ joked and she started laughing.

''I like this. Waking up next to you. It feels like I could do it every single day.'' Hotch said as he leaned down against the headboard.

''Me too. So, what do you want to do today? Sam and her parents are gone today.'' JJ hinted.

''Hmmm, I know. I thought we could go to the mall because I still need a suit for your prom. And I thought we could make dinner tonight and just enjoy ourselves. We don't have school or work to worry about, so we have all the time we need.'' Hotch said and he saw JJ smiling in agreement.

''Do you really want to go to prom with me? I mean, it is with high school kids. I don't know if you are going to like it.''

''I will love it because I am going with you, sweetheart. What dress are you going to wear?'' Hotch asked curiously, knowing that JJ wasn't going to tell him.

''I am not telling you. You will have to wait and see for yourself.'' JJ teased.

''Oh, I am looking forward to it.'' Hotch said and he pushed JJ down. He hovered above her as he leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was filled with want and desire. Every time Hotch was so close to her, he felt more and more in love with her. Kissing her was like a fire started burning inside him. He never wanted to stop. He moved a trail of kisses from her lips to her neck. He suddenly pulled away when he felt that he was going too far.

''It is okay, Aaron.'' JJ said and she pulled him back by his shirt. JJ felt the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She knew she wasn't ready but she didn't mind the closeness. She trusted him. She knew he would never hurt her in any way.

Hotch leaned back down and JJ was responding to his kisses. As he was softly kissing her neck, he felt JJ moan softly. Her hands were against his chest.

Hotch's hands were toying with the hem of her tank top. He slowly let his hands slip under the top. He felt JJ cringe slightly when his hands made contact with her toned stomach. Her skin was smooth and soft. Hotch didn't want to stop. He wanted to continue what he was doing but he wanted to take it day by day. He finally pulled away and he heard JJ groan at the loss of contact.

''I don't want to do it too fast, JJ. Once it happens, I want it to be real and special.'' Hotch explained as they both sat up.

''I know. Thank you. I am so grateful that you are not pushing me into this.'' JJ said thankfully as she pulled down her top that had moved slightly upwards.

''Let's eat.'' Hotch said and he pulled the tray towards them.

Hotch and JJ ate their breakfast in bed. They were both enjoying the silence that had surrounded them. JJ was thinking about their future together as she was eating the toast. She knew Hotch could be in her life forever. She loved him with her whole heart and she knew they were perfect for each other. They had one fight that actually wasn't a fight. It was more like a discussion. Everything in their lives fitted together perfectly.

After they were done with their breakfast they cleaned up the house together. After everything was cleaned up they went back upstairs to get ready to go to the mall.

''I am going to take a quick shower.'' JJ said as she pulled out a bra and clean underwear.

''Okay. I will change in the meantime.'' Hotch said.

JJ made her way to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. After the shower she dried herself and she realized she forgot to take her clothes with her. She put on her bra and panties and she wrapped a towel around herself. She knew Hotch didn't mind to see her that way but she felt scared. She walked back towards her room and she saw that Hotch had already changed. He was wearing a simple black shirt on his jeans. He wore the dark blue sneakers and his raven black hair was the same as always and he still seemed hot to JJ.

JJ walked on her toes because she didn't want to let him know she was in the room. She walked behind him as he was sitting behind his laptop. JJ was almost at her closet when Hotch turned around and he saw her.

''Hey, why are you walking so softly?'' Hotch asked when he saw noticed that JJ looked embarrassed.

''I…uh…I…I didn't take my clothes into the bathroom.'' JJ explained and she felt herself blush at her comment.

''I will not look.'' Hotch said and he turned around.

''It is fine.'' JJ said as she pulled the towel off her. The towel landed on the ground and JJ was standing in her red bra with matching panties. She saw that Hotch faced her again. Hotch mouth dropped open when he saw JJ standing in front of him. He rose from his chair and he saw that JJ took a few steps back.

''You are beautiful, JJ. I don't know why you doubt yourself so much. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Believe me!'' Hotch said as he took both of her hands in his.

''It is just that all of this is the very first time for me. I have never had a relationship before. And I love you, I really do but I am still scared sometimes. I love you so much that you can also break my heart completely. I am just saying that I am scared for everything that can happen.'' JJ said softly.

''I know you are. And it is fine. I will be with you every step of the way. I will never leave if you don't want me to.''

''Okay.'' JJ said and Hotch released her hands.

JJ turned around to take some clothes from her closet. She quickly changed into skinny jeans and a simple shirt with a cardigan over it. She put on her shoes and grabbed her purse.

Hotch and JJ stepped into his car and drove away. The drive to the mall was only ten minutes. Hotch pulled up in the parking lot and they stepped from the car.

''What stores do you want to go to?'' Hotch asked as he took JJ's hand in his.

''I don't know. It all depends on where you want to buy a suit? Why don't you just wear the suit you wore on our one-month anniversary. It looked pretty decent on you.'' JJ sighed as she looked at the ring Hotch had given her on that date. She never took it off. To her it was a sign of what kind of love they had and she wasn't planning on taking it off.

''Pretty decent?''

''Okay, I have to admit. You looked extremely hot.''

''Well, thank you. I should wear an even hotter suit this time. Maybe, I will get lucky for once.'' Hotch joked as they walked inside the mall.

''Oh, you bastard!'' JJ said loudly as she gave him a punch against his shoulder.

''I am sorry. I was joking!'' Hotch said quickly because he thought JJ was really mad at him.

''I know. Don't worry.''

''Do you mind if we go to the Men's Wearhouse?'' Hotch asked when he saw the store while they were walking around.

''Of course but it is an expensive store, Aaron.'' JJ said to warn him but he obviously didn't mind it.

''It is fine. I have some money saved up and I am going to need suits for my internship in New-York anyway.'' Hotch said and he didn't notice JJ's look.

JJ almost choked when he started talking about the internship again. JJ was really happy for him but she still had a bad feeling about it. She knew it was an opportunity he couldn't pass up but she knew she was going to miss him. Hotch was still coming to Florida with her but it was only for six days. JJ was disappointed but she had been able to hide it really well because she didn't want Hotch to think that she was mad.

As JJ was thinking, she followed Hotch through the entire store until he suddenly stopped. He held up a basic modern black suit with the matching slacks.

''Do you like this one?'' Hotch asked when JJ still wasn't looking.

''Yeah, it looks great. You should try it on.'' JJ hinted and she saw that he pulled out a blue striped dress shirt as well. She followed him towards the changing rooms and she sat down in a comfortable chair as Hotch disappeared into a fitting room.

JJ's mind was wondering again when Hotch was fitting his clothes. A feeling of sadness took over her demeanor. JJ had tried to avoid the conversation about his internship at all times. She also didn't want to think about her graduation and saying goodbye to her friends. She knew they had a four-week vacation planned but that still didn't take away her sadness. They were all going somewhere else and nothing was going to be the same again. It was also hard for JJ to think about her graduation without her parents. She wanted to invite him but she was afraid Hotch was going to be mad at her for wanting them there.

''What do you think?'' Hotch asked as he walked towards JJ.

JJ looked up at him. Her eyes traveled along his entire body and she couldn't help but smile. He looked even hotter in this suit. She still couldn't believe that a guy like him fell for her. He was handsome, sweet and a real gentleman.

''You look absolutely amazing. This one really tops the last one.'' JJ said and she stood up to be on the same length as Hotch.

''Thank you. Did I tell you that you look pretty sexy today?''

''No, you didn't. But keep this up and you might get lucky soon.'' JJ said confidently as she closed the first few buttons on his shirt.

Hotch felt the shivers go down his spine as he felt JJ's fingertips brush against his chest. He kept himself together and he gave her a small smile when they locked eyes.

''I will take this one.'' Hotch said hoarsely and he walked back towards the dressing room to change back into his other clothes.

JJ kept standing as she waited for Hotch to finish. JJ suddenly heard her name from the other side of the store. She turned around and she saw Mike standing on the other side of the store. JJ and Mike met each other halfway. Mike pulled JJ into a hug, not knowing that Hotch came from the dressing room at the same time.

Hotch stopped in his tracks when he saw JJ and Mike standing close together. It was too close to his liking. He stayed frozen in his spot but when he saw Mike touching JJ's shoulder, he felt jealousy coursing through his veins. He was never the jealous type but when it came to JJ it was differently. She was a gorgeous girl and he knew that Mike thought she was hot. He slowly made his way towards them and he heard part of their conversation.

''So, you are still going to Florida?'' Mike asked as his back was towards Hotch.

''Yeah, I am leaving next weekend. I have my prom and graduation next week and we are leaving for Florida after that.'' JJ replied.

''That sounds like fun! Hey, Aaron!'' Mike said when Hotch walked up next to him.

''Hey, Mike. How have you been, man?'' Hotch asked as he stepped next to JJ. He put an possessive arm around and he pulled her closer.

''I have been great. How are you?'' Mike asked as he noticed how possessive Hotch was suddenly acting.

JJ was surprised by Hotch's sudden possessiveness and she wanted to pull away but she decided to talk about it later.

''I am fine. JJ and I were actually going to pay for this suit and then we need to be back home.'' Hotch said quickly and they all said goodbye quickly.

Hotch paid for his suit and they walked back to his car together. During the drive back to the house there was a tension between them but they both stayed silent.

Once they reached the house they both stepped from the car and JJ angrily opened the door to the house. She made her way upstairs without talking to Hotch. She didn't understand why he was acting so weird while they were talking to Mike. She dropped down on her bed in frustration and she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

''Why were you gone so quickly?'' Hotch asked when he stepped inside the bedroom.

''No reason. I am just tired. I need to be alone for some time.'' JJ sighed deeply and she fell back on the bed. Her head landed on the pillow.

''What is going on, JJ?''

''Nothing.'' JJ said with frustration.

''Don't lie to me. What happened between you and Mike?'' Hotch asked bluntly, realizing that he made a really big mistake.

''So, that is it. Are you jealous?''

''No…yes…''

''Are you kidding me? Mike is your best friend. We talked about my graduation and the vacation.''

''Fine!'' Hotch said angrily.

''Why are you yelling at me?'' JJ asked carefully.

''JJ, I don't know. What I feel for you indescribable. I know we talked about this a thousand of times but you are not okay. I know you have been avoiding to talk about my internship and I can just get angry about that. I want you to trust me, JJ.''

''I do trust you. But why can't you trust me when I am just talking to your best friend? It goes both ways, Aaron. You never told me that you trust me. Not once. And I don't want to fight. I really don't.'' JJ said softly as a tear fell down her face.

''I am just afraid we are going to grow apart when you leave for New-York. I am just having a hard time with everything right now. There is a lot that I need to figure out. I am constantly thinking about my parents. And I can't stop thinking about saying goodbye to my friends. I am scared, okay! I don't know what is going to happen and it scares me.'' JJ continued as she looked at Hotch.

''I trust you, JJ. Of course I trust you. I am afraid that something is going to hurt you and I don't want that. I am just really protective of you. That is all.'' Hotch said and he sat down on the edge of the bed.

''Okay. I am going to get stay in bed. We can start dinner in a couple of hours.'' JJ suggested.

''Of course. Do you want me to stay?'' Hotch asked softly.

''Yeah. I am sorry for being such a mess.''

''Don't be. It is okay. I am was an ass to you. I had no reason to be jealous.'' Hotch said to apologize.

''No, you didn't.'' JJ said.

They sat on the bed together. They listened to each other's breathing as they were thinking about their futures. It had been so simple before they were both going into new chapters of their lives. They both had important things to think about. The hardest part was going to be, to keep their lives together. They knew they were both going to be busy and their biggest fear was that they were barely going to see each other.


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Next chapter! I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, samcarter1980 and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: The call**

Hotch and JJ laid on the bed for a couple of hours to get some rest. JJ had fallen asleep and she was waking up next to Hotch. Hotch had his laptop on his lap and he was looking through pictures of him and JJ. They made a lot of pictures over the months and he loved to look through them. He finally stopped at a picture that Sam had taken. It was picture from two weeks earlier. JJ was wearing shorts and a black tank top and Hotch was wearing jeans with a dark blue shirt on it. They were sitting in the backyard of the house. Hotch had his arm around JJ and they both had a big smile on their faces.

''I love that one.'' JJ said as she sat up next to Hotch.

''Yeah, so do I.'' Hotch agreed and he closed the laptop and he put it down on the nightstand.

''Do you want to make dinner?'' JJ asked as she stepped from the bed.

''Sure. It is 6 pm already and I am actually hungry.''

JJ and Hotch went downstairs and made their way towards the kitchen. Hotch followed JJ and he stopped at the dining table. He froze in his spot and he saw that JJ walking towards the cabinets.

''Do you ever think about what you want in the future?'' Hotch asked bluntly.

''What do you mean?'' JJ asked as she turned around to face him.

''Well, what do you want in your future?''

''I honestly don't think about it too much. I want to finish college first and then I will see where it goes. I want a stable job before I settle down with someone, hoping that someone will be you.'' JJ answered.

''What about you?'' JJ asked.

''I would like to get a job after my internship and I would like to get my own place and settle down with you. I want the big happy family. And when there is enough money I want to buy a house in the suburbs and I would love to have kids.'' Hotch replied with a smile on his face.

''That sounds great.'' JJ replied but at the same time she was choking for a bit. She was only eighteen and she wasn't thinking about buying a house and having kids. She wanted to go through college first before she was thinking about those things. She wanted to live before she was going to have obligations.

''Ohh, I think we should make pizza.'' Hotch suggested.

''Okay, I will grab everything from the cabinets. Can you grab everything we need from the fridge?''

''Sure!''

Hotch and JJ put all the ingredients together. They started making the dough for the pizza. It was finished after fifteen minutes. Hotch suddenly felt some dough in his face.

''Hey, why did you do that?'' Hotch asked when he noticed that JJ threw the dough in his face.

''I don't know. I just wanted to pull you from your boring state.'' JJ teased and she threw another piece towards him.

''You are so mean!'' Hotch exclaimed and he started throwing pieces towards JJ.

''We are like little children.'' JJ said as she hid behind the table to avoid the pieces Hotch was throwing to her.

''I don't care. You started it. Ahhh, I got you!'' Hotch said loudly when the dough stuck to JJ's cheek.

''Yes, you did. Is there something left for the pizza?'' JJ asked curiously as she was coming up from behind the table.

''No, nothing. I suggest we eat something else.'' Hotch said happily.

''Wow, that is smart of you. I think we should. But we have to clean up first. I don't want Sam and her parents to come home to this mess.'' JJ said as she looked around the messy kitchen.

''I know. Let's do it.'' Hotch said.

They both cleaned up the kitchen quickly and once they were done they were both too tired to make dinner. Hotch ordered a pizza for the two of them. They waited in the kitchen for the pizza to arrive.

After the pizza was delivered they ate it silently. JJ wasn't too hungry, so she let Hotch eat most of the pizza. After eating they cleaned up again. JJ was sitting on the countertop. Hotch slowly made his way towards her and he stopped in front of her. He put his hands around her waist and he leaned forward.

''What do you want to do now?'' he asked in a whisper.

''I think I know something.'' JJ whispered back and she pulled him in for a kiss.

Hotch responded immediately as he lifted JJ of the counter. JJ wrapped her legs around his waist. Hotch made his way through the hallway and he pushed JJ against the wall next to the stairs. He suddenly felt JJ lips nipping at his neck. Hotch pulled away and he slowly put JJ on the ground. He grabbed her hand and he pulled her with him up the stairs. Once they were in the room, he closed the door behind them. Hotch softly pushed JJ on the bed. He slowly climbed on top of her. He leaned back down to kiss her. He slowly coaxed her lips apart and they intertwined their tongues.

JJ felt Hotch move his hands around her body. At first they were stroking up and down her sides. She shivered when she felt his hands disappear under her shirt. JJ moved her own hands towards his shirt to take it off. Hotch groaned at the loss of contact and he moved his arms above his head to take off his shirt. JJ's hands roamed around his muscular chest as they were kissing again. Hotch bent further down to kiss JJ's neck. He made a trail of kisses from JJ's neck to her collarbone. He stopped to pull JJ's top over her head but he stopped because he wanted JJ's permission first.

''Are you okay?'' Hotch asked softly.

''Yeah. I am great, Aaron. I am not made from glass.''

''I know you are definitely not made from glass.'' Hotch said and he watched as JJ pulled the top over her head. He saw that JJ was wearing the same red bra as she was wearing this morning.

''You are gorgeous, JJ.'' Hotch complimented.

''Thank you.'' JJ said thankfully and she put her hands around his neck.

Hotch leaned down to kiss her. Their lips met as their bodies were melting together. Hotch's hands were roaming around JJ's upper body. When he leaned down, he felt JJ breasts against his chest. His hands sneaked behind her back and he was about to take off her bra when there was a knock on the door. They both flinched and quickly climbed under the sheets.

''JJ! Aaron!'' Sam said from the other side of the door.

''Hi Sam! Come in!'' JJ said as she gave Hotch a look filled with embarrassment.

JJ put her top on and she climbed from the bed when Sam walked inside. Hotch stepped from the bed as well and he was only wearing his sweatpants.

''JJ, can I talk to you for a sec?'' Sam asked when she noticed the tension in the room between them.

''Of course. I will be back in no time.'' JJ said to Hotch and she was pulled away by Sam.

Sam pulled JJ with her into her own bedroom and she put JJ on the bed like she had something scary to say to her.

''So, I have some amazing news. I will tell the news and you have to tell me what I just walked in on.'' Sam said excitedly and she was almost jumping from the ground.

''Fine. Just tell me!'' JJ said in agreement.

''I got accepted into Georgetown today!'' Sam said loudly.

''What? Oh my god, that is amazing. We are going to Georgetown together!'' JJ exclaimed and she couldn't help but be excited.

''I know. This is awesome!'' Sam said as she hugged her friend tightly.

''What happened to UCLA?'' JJ asked.

''I am not going there anymore. I know Vicky and Alex are going there but I would rather go to Georgetown with you!'' Sam explained.

''This is great. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you after summer. I am so excited about this.''

''Me too. But now I want the dirty details on you and Aaron!'' Sam said.

''Argghh, I knew you wouldn't forget about that. Nothing happened, Sam. Well, maybe something would have happened if you hadn't knocked on that door.''

''First of all, I have to say that Aaron sure looks fine without a shirt. And second of all, you guys still haven't done anything?'' Sam asked curiously.

''No, we haven't.'' JJ replied.

''Do you want to?''

''I don't know. I guess but it is scaring me a bit. I love him and I know he will not push me. I am not ready yet but I think I will be soon.'' JJ admitted to Sam and she couldn't help but smile.

''I am so happy for you, JJ. You found the guy. I just can't believe how perfect the two of you are for each other.''

''We are not perfect, Sam. We have our good and bad moments. I believe no one is perfect and I wouldn't love him if he was perfect.'' JJ explained.

''Next year is going to be amazing. We are going to college together. I can't wait. Yay! And I am also really excited about prom. Do you already have dress? It is only two days away, JJ!'' Sam said loudly and happily.

''Yes, I have a dress and Aaron already has a suit. We are all done.''

''Great. You should go back to your boyfriend.'' Sam teased and she watched as JJ walked towards the door.

''Thank you, Sam. For everything. You are an amazing friend.'' JJ said and she closed the door behind her after Sam gave her a smile in return.

Two days later…

JJ was standing in front of the mirror in her dress. She was ready to leave for her senior prom. She was wearing a floor-length dark blue dress. The dress was strapless and it hugged her curves perfectly. JJ looked into the mirror one last time before she opened the door of her bedroom. She knew Hotch was waiting downstairs along with Sam's parents. As JJ walked from the room, she saw Sam standing in front of her own bedroom door.

''Sam, you look great.'' JJ sighed nervously. She was somehow nervous about Hotch's reaction to her dress. She felt confident but nervous at the same time and she didn't know why.

''Thank you. You look great as well.'' Sam said.

Hotch was standing downstairs in the hallway in his newly bought suit. He stopped breathing when he saw JJ in her dress. She looked absolutely amazing. The dress looked amazing on her body and Hotch was frozen in his spot while JJ walked down the stairs. When she was finally in the hallway, Hotch stepped towards her.

''You look stunning. I mean, wow!'' Hotch sighed deeply as JJ softly squeezed his hand.

''You look really handsome yourself.'' JJ said as they walked towards the door hand in hand.

After taking some pictures and saying goodbye to Sam's parents they left. Sam's date arrived on time and Hotch drove them to the high school. It had been a long time since Hotch had gone to prom. He could still remember what it was like. He and Haley were prom king and queen. Their prom was nice but Haley did everything for a reputation. To her it wasn't about having a night to remember, to her it was about being the best.

As Hotch glanced to JJ, who was sitting next to him in the passengers' seat, he knew she was different than anyone else he had ever met. JJ didn't care about what others thought of her. To her it was all about being herself. Hotch knew JJ was so different from Haley. JJ's personality was filled with joy and happiness and that spark in her eyes was exactly what he had fallen for in the first place. The look in her eyes had blown him away and they still did.

When they finally arrived they went inside. The entire gym was turned into a party. They had no specific theme for the prom, which JJ was really happy about because she hated themes for a party. Hotch and JJ walked towards the table were Alex and Vicky were seated.

''Hey!'' JJ said happily as she hugged both of her friends.

''Doesn't it look amazing?'' Vicky asked as JJ's eyes traced along the entire room.

''Yeah, it looks amazing.'' JJ replied.

Hotch was about to ask JJ to dance when his phone started ringing. He walked to the other side of the room when he saw the number. He answered the phone and JJ walked towards him.

''Yeah…Okay…No…I will be there…Thank you.'' Hotch said and his face turned pale.

JJ was about to ask what happened and who it was when Hotch was storming out of the room. JJ followed him onto the parking lot.

''Aaron! Aaron!'' JJ yelled as she followed him.

''JJ, I have to go. I will see you later.'' Hotch said and he stepped in his car and he drove away before JJ could say anything.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: I am sorry for the cliffhanger in last chapter. But the next one is here! I hope you guys like it! There will be two more chapters before I go back to the present. ****I just want to let you all know that I am so grateful that you are reading, reviewing or following this story. It means the world to me. Thank you!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, guest, jenny crum, Jimmelfan12, K.I.M, breverson and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Another loss**

Hotch drove away as fast as he possibly could. He couldn't believe it when he got the call. It was about his brother. The brother he never talked about. The brother that blamed him for the abuse their father put them through. The brother that went the wrong way in life. After Hotch got the call that Sean was in critical condition in the hospital after a car accident, he couldn't help but feel guilty. His brother was two years younger than him and even though they weren't in contact, he still cared about him. Sean had gotten into trouble with the law after he turned eighteen. He started doing drugs and he got in contact with the wrong crowd. Hotch hadn't talked to Sean in three years. The last time he had seen him was when he tried to help him but Sean told Hotch to get out of his life.

He was racing towards the hospital in Baltimore. His phone was ringing but he was ignoring all the calls he was getting. He needed to wrap his mind around everything that was happening. But for now he kept driving.

Once he reached the hospital in Baltimore, he ran from his car and went inside the hospital. He ran through the hospital hallways until he reached the nurses' station. He pushed people away and he stopped.

''I am here for Sean Hotchner. A nurse just called me to tell me that he was in an accident.'' Hotch said quickly to a nurse that was barely paying any attention to him.

''Just wait one minute, sir!'' the nurse said while she was sitting behind the computer.

''I don't have a minute. Tell me where my brother is!'' Hotch yelled in a panic.

''You are here for Sean Hotchner?'' a voice said from the other side of the room.

Hotch turned around and he saw a young girl standing on the other side of the room. Her expression was filled with fear and worry. Hotch walked towards her and he stopped a few feet away from her.

''Yes, I am. Do you know him?'' Hotch asked.

''I do. I am his girlfriend. Who are you?'' she asked shyly.

''I am Aaron Hotchner. I am Sean's brother. Do you have any idea what is going on or how he is doing?''

''No, they will not tell me anything. Sean talked about you a lot. Oh, I am Gaby.'' she said and she quickly shook Hotch's hand.

''Hi, what happened?''

''He was in a car crash. That is all I know. I can't believe this happened now.'' she said and a tear fell down her face.

''What do you mean?''

''When I met Sean, he was in a lot of trouble but he has been turning his life around. He finally found a job and he was saving up for college. And he was planning on calling you again. He talked to me for hours about how he treated you and how sorry he was for everything he had done. I just can't lose him.'' she explained and the tears didn't stop.

Hotch was about to say something when his phone was vibrating. He took it from his pocket and he saw that he six missed calls and three texts. He put the phone to his ear to listen to a voicemail message from JJ.

''_Hey! It is me! Where are you? What happened? I am worrying about you, Aaron. Please call me. Just let me know that you are okay. I love you!''_

Hotch could hear the worry in JJ's voice. He never told her about his brother and he knew she was going to be hurt once she was going to find out. They promised to not keep secrets from each other and he did it.

''Gaby, I need to call someone quickly.'' Hotch said as he picked up his phone to call JJ when Gaby nodded.

* * *

Crestwood…

JJ was pacing around the house. She went straight home after Hotch left and she had tried to call him but he wasn't picking up. She was really worried about him. She had no idea what was happening but she just needed to know that he was fine. She jumped when her phone started ringing and she picked up immediately.

''Aaron?''

''_Hey JJ!'' _Hotch said from the other end of the line and JJ could hear the apparent sadness in his voice.

''Where are you? Why did you leave? I am worried sick!'' JJ said angrily.

''_I am in the hospital in Baltimore. Someone I know was in a car crash.''_

''I am so sorry, Aaron. I will be there. Which hospital?''

''_JJ, you shouldn't come. I don't want you to come here.''_

''Aaron, I am your girlfriend. I want to be there for you. I love you! Where are you?''

''_I know, JJ. I am at Baltimore Memorial Hospital. You shouldn't come. I am fine and I will call you when I know something.'' _he said and he hung up the phone.

JJ was left stunned. She couldn't believe him. She put the phone in her purse and he grabbed the keys to Sam's car. She wanted to be there for him, so she decided to go against his will.

She stepped in the car and drove away. The thoughts were racing through her mind. She didn't get that Hotch was so secretive. He was the one that told her that he hated secrets and that he didn't want them between them. For now she focused on the road and she figured that she would find out what happened later on.

* * *

Baltimore Memorial Hospital…

Hotch and Gaby were still sitting in the waiting room. Sean was still in surgery. Gaby told Hotch everything about Sean. She told him about how he was finally turning his life around and that he wanted to contact Hotch again. He still couldn't believe that this happened. The brother he hadn't seen for years was fighting for his life. Hotch couldn't lose him. He was the only real family he had left. Everyone else died or was banned from his life. His childhood was hard enough and he didn't want to lose someone else. Even though he and his brother didn't always get along, he still cared about him.

Hotch looked up when he heard the familiar voice. He knew it was JJ the moment he heard her voice. He didn't want her to come because he didn't want to explain what was going on.

Hotch rose from his chair and he walked out the room to let JJ know where he was. He saw her talking to a nurse. She was still wearing her dress and her hair was disheveled.

''JJ!'' Hotch said to let JJ know where he was.

''Aaron!'' JJ exclaimed as she turned around. His expression was somber and he looked like he had seen a ghost.

''Sean Hotchner?'' a voice suddenly said.

''Hotchner?'' JJ asked in disbelief. She thought Hotch didn't have any family left, so she had no idea what to think.

''Yeah.'' Hotch said and he turned around to face the doctor. Hotch looked to his side and he saw that Gaby was there as well. And he saw that JJ was standing on the other side.

''I am afraid that I have bad news. Your brother's injuries were worse than we had expected. We were able to stop the internal bleeding but there was too much damage to his heart. When he went into cardiac arrest, we tried to everything we could but there was nothing we could do.'' the doctor announced.

The tears filled his eyes while he listened to the doctor speak. He felt JJ's hand on his shoulder.

''Your brother died?'' JJ asked to make sure that she was right about what she was thinking.

''Yes.'' Hotch replied softly.

JJ stepped in front of him after the doctor had disappeared and Gaby was already gone. JJ hugged him tightly. She didn't understand what was happening but she wanted to be there for him no matter what. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and he started crying against her neck.

''I am so sorry, Aaron. I didn't know.'' JJ said softly and she felt him pull away.

''I am sorry that I didn't tell you.''

''It is fine. Why didn't you tell me?''

''There wasn't much to tell, JJ. Sean got into trouble when he was eighteen years old. He started doing drugs and he hang out with wrong people. He overdosed a year later and I wanted to help him but he banned me from his life. I haven't seen him in three years and now he is dead. I lost the last person in my family.'' Hotch said with the tears in his eyes.

''You should have told me. You were the one who didn't want any secrets between us. You told me that! How could you lie about this?'' JJ asked as she was trying to keep her anger down. She didn't want to yell at him after he just suffered a loss. JJ knew what it was like to lose a sibling. She still missed her sister every single day and she knew that feeling wouldn't just disappear overnight.

''I know, JJ. I am sorry. I get it if you are angry but I just need some time to get myself together. You don't need to stay with me.''

''I want to. I love you! Don't you understand that? You mean everything to me. You were there for me with my parents and I want to be there for you. Just let me in for once. You know I am not Haley. I will never just walk away from you like that. I am asking you to trust me. I thought you already did.''

''I did. I mean, I do. It is just hard for me to trust people, JJ. I love you to.'' Hotch said and he wrapped his arms around JJ again. When JJ was close to him it was like his troubles could disappear and there was nothing he needed to worry about anymore. It was like JJ was the only thing he needed to be able to breathe every single second.

* * *

Three days later…

It was Friday night. It was the night JJ finally graduated. She was supposed to be happy but she wasn't. A part of her knew what Hotch was going through and she wished he didn't have to. It was like all the bad things he had gone through weren't enough, but he had to lose his brother to. The funeral was the day before. JJ stood by his side as Hotch gave a speech about his brother. He didn't cry at the funeral but he broke down when they got back to the house. JJ was there for him through all the days. Hotch was finally opening up about his brother and it was clear to JJ that Sean and Hotch never had the best relationship. Hotch explained that Sean blamed him for the abuse their father put them through. Hotch was the one who tried to protect their mother from their father but he would beat them every time Hotch tried to do that. Hotch's childhood was worse than he had talked about. JJ knew he had already dealt with his childhood. He only wanted to move forward.

Hotch was there during her graduation and he cheered her on when she received her diploma. He was smiling all night and JJ was thankful for his presence. She didn't know how he could be doing so well but she was happy that he felt a bit better. The rest of the night passed by quickly. JJ said goodbye to her teachers and classmates. Luckily, she didn't have to say goodbye to Vicky and Alex because they were going to Florida the next day.

JJ walked into her bedroom and she saw Hotch sitting on the bed. He already had his sweatpants on. JJ walked towards her dresser to take out a shorts and a top to wear. She glanced at their suitcases and she saw that Hotch was done packing as well.

''Are you sure you still want to go to Florida?'' JJ asked softly.

''I am sure. I am doing a lot better. Besides, I love to spend time with my girlfriend.''

''Okay. And you are leaving after a week, right?'' JJ asked softly.

''Yeah, I need to be in New-York in time. And you can have another three weeks in Florida with your friends.''

''Are you sure you don't want me to join you in New-York immediately? I don't mind.''

''It is fine, JJ. I will be fine. I promise.'' Hotch said and he leaned down to kiss her on the lips. After pulling away, JJ put her head on his chest as Hotch wrapped his arms tightly around her. There was still a safety that JJ felt while he held her. They felt like they were alone in the world when they were together. They had a lot in common when it came to family. It was the one thing that was hard to talk about for both of them. JJ was just hoping that Hotch was going to be doing okay with everything that happened. She was having mixed feelings about everything. She didn't want to seem like the whining girlfriend, so she didn't say anything to Hotch.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: The M-Rated chapter has finally arrived! So, this one is M-rated. It took me a pretty long time to write this and I am not really happy with it because my writing is bad when it comes to those scenes. I still hope that you all like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, 14hpgirl19 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: A consuming love**

Florida…

The days in Florida passed by quickly. JJ and Hotch hadn't done much in the five days that passed by. They were mostly on the beach or at the swimming pool. Hotch was having his good and bad days. He was just happy that he had some kind of distraction. Being in Florida was definitely a good reason to be happy. He and JJ had been relaxing ever since they arrived. They didn't want to do too much. They were both having a lot of fun. The hotel they were staying at was beautiful and the weather was amazing. Most of their days were the same and no one was complaining.

It was Hotch's last day in Florida. He was leaving for New-York in the morning. He was having different feelings about everything. A part of him didn't want to be without JJ and another part of him was happy about the internship. The internship could give him a promising future with DA's office. It was the kind of job he had always dreamed about.

Hotch was laying on a towel on the beach. JJ walked towards him. His eyes traced along her body. The bikini she was wearing looked amazing on her. Her legs looked they were miles long. Every time he saw her like that he wanted to be closer to her. He sometimes couldn't believe how beautiful JJ actually was and how lucky he was to be with her. They were together for five months and he couldn't be more in love. JJ was everything he could have ever dreamed about. He took of his sunglasses when JJ laid down on the towel next to him. He couldn't keep his eyes away from her. As much as he tried to keep control, he knew he was going to lose it one day.

''Do you want to go back to the room? I am pretty hot right now.'' JJ said and Hotch's breath hitched at her comment.

''Sure.'' Hotch agreed.

They quickly put on some clothes and grabbed their towels. They made their way back to the hotel. The walk was ten minutes because the hotel was really close to the beach. Hotch and JJ were sharing a room together while Sam, Alex and Vicky shared one as well. It became harder and harder for JJ to be in the same room alone with him. The physical tension was becoming hard to ignore. The little touches and the looks she got from Hotch told her enough. She also knew she was teasing him a lot. She was trying to keep his eyes on her at all times. It wasn't even necessary because she didn't have to do much to get his attention.

Hotch opened the door and he let JJ walk in first. He closed the door behind him and he dropped his stuff to the ground. JJ had turned around and she was facing him.

''I am going to take a quick shower.'' JJ announced and she disappeared into the bathroom after taking some clothes from the dresser.

Hotch changed into some more comfortable clothes in the meantime. He was sitting in a chair next to the window. He was looking outside and he didn't notice JJ coming from the bathroom. He turned around when he heard a soft cough. His eyes landed on JJ and he froze instantly. There she was. Standing in front of him in a beautiful purple bra with the matching panties. After his eyes traced along every line of her body, he saw something in her eyes. It was something he had never seen before. Her eyes were filled passion and love. Those eyes were normally filled with joy. He could see how serious she was. Hotch was always able to read her piercing blue eyes. They always told him something.

JJ kept standing in the same spot. Their eyes were locked. She didn't move an inch. And when he rose from his chair and made her way towards her, she still didn't move. She waited for him. He softly pushed her against the wall behind her when he had reached her. He covered JJ's body with his own. He could hear her heart beat in her chest while his own was racing as well. The heat coming from her body made it even harder for him to focus. It was like he was getting sucked into their own little world. Hotch leaned down and his lips crashed onto hers. Their lips and tongues met in movements for dominance and rhythm. This kiss was so different than all the others. It was filled with promises for the future. And as their kiss went on Hotch was forgetting his own name. He felt as if he was losing himself in JJ entirely. He knew it was really happening. When his shirt hit the ground he got even more confirmation. He could feel the fire in her touches.

JJ breath hitched when Hotch suddenly swooped her up in his arms. He gently put her down on the bed. JJ felt him hover above her. His lips went from the corner of her mouth all the way to the crook of her neck. She felt him stop when he was about to move down and she knew he wanted to know if she was okay with it.

''It is okay, Aaron. I am ready. I promise.'' JJ said with passion in her voice. The world around her had become a haze. To her it felt like they were the only people left on earth. As his lips moved downwards she felt the adrenaline pumping through her veins. His lips left her skin on fire. They left her with a want for more. It was a feeling she had never felt before. She felt his hands sneak behind her back to take of her bra. She moved slightly upwards to make it easier for him. Her bra hit the floor within seconds.

Hotch felt his body respond to the sight in front of him. He saw that JJ was blushing. He knew she was nervous and he wanted to do everything to make it feel better for her.

''You are so beautiful, JJ.'' Hotch whispered into her ear and he felt her shiver slightly. He could smell the scent of her hair. It was always smelled like mango. It was a scent he didn't want to live without.

The tears were about to appear in her eyes but as she reminded herself how lucky she was because she knew there wasn't a reason to cry. There was only a reason to smile because a man like Hotch loved her. He had given her everything. And JJ knew that he loved her with his entire being and that was enough for her. She knew it were tears of happiness and not of sadness.

He leaned down and his lips brushed against hers. His hands were carefully exploring her chest. When she moaned into his ears, he felt a jolt of excitement rush through him. When he thought he couldn't feel more, he did. He could feel her hands against his chest.

JJ decided to take matters into her hands and she pushed Hotch down next to her. She saw he looked completely shocked and she couldn't help but smile.

''Wow, I didn't know you needed to be the boss.'' Hotch joked as JJ moved on top of him.

''It is a shame that you are so easy.'' JJ joked back.

JJ was straddling him and her hands were roaming around his chest. She felt Hotch's hands on her hips. JJ leaned down to kiss his chest. She went all the way down until she reached his pants. She stopped there and she moved back to his lips. Her hands made their way back to his pants. She unzipped his pants and she heard Hotch groan in shock. JJ climbed off the bed and she pulled his pants down. They landed on the floor and JJ was about to move back on top but Hotch took the moment to flip JJ under him.

He saw her eyes flow over his body. She was still laying under him and she wasn't moving while her hands were on his broad shoulders.

JJ wsaw the dimples appear on his face and it made her even more comfortable. He had a rare smile that could make her feel safe. She felt his body closer against her own. Their eyes were locked and they weren't doing anything else. JJ jumped slightly when she felt his excitement pressed against her thigh. Their lips met in a soft quick kiss before Hotch moved his hands down her body. He pulled her panties down and took off his boxers when he was standing on the ground. He moved back on top off her and he was kissing her neck again when JJ suddenly pushed him backwards against his chest.

''Aaron, I don't want to wait any longer.'' JJ said softly.

''Are you sure?'' Hotch asked.

''I am more sure than I will ever be. I want this. I have waited for this so long and I know you want it to.'' she said.

''You are right, I want this. But I don't want you to regret this in an hour or so.''

''I will not. I could never regret this. I love you and I trust you.''

''I love you to.'' Hotch said and he put a soft kiss to her forehead.

JJ moved her legs apart. Hotch took all the precautions and he put on a condom. He once again climbed back on top of JJ. He made contact with her lips and he slowly entered her. He let JJ adjust to the feeling. He took it step by step. After a while JJ let him know she was ready by squeezing his shoulder.

His movements started slowly. They were both moaning at the contact. He saw JJ closing her eyes and he stopped.

''JJ, you can look at me.'' Hotch said and he saw JJ open her eyes immediately.

''I am sorry.'' JJ said softly.

''Don't be.''

JJ locked her eyes with him. Everything she felt was new to her and it was completely overwhelming her. The pure pleasure was going through her body. She pulled him down by the neck and their lips met in a powerful kiss. Their movement were matching. JJ gave herself to him completely. It felt like her feelings were heightened. She never wanted to feel anything else. The love she was feelings was immense and it was blowing her away completely.

His movements were becoming more unsteady when he felt JJ tense up under him and after she collapsed, he let go as well. He held himself up by his elbows to recover. He moved down next to her after he regained his energy. He pulled the blankets over them. JJ crawled into his side as his arms wrapped around her tightly. She felt him kiss her shoulder and she turned around to face him.

''Are you okay?'' Hotch asked softly while he gently stroked her face.

''That was…'' JJ tried to say but she couldn't find the words to describe her feelings.

''Amazing? Mind-blowing? Like heaven?'' Hotch asked, hoping she felt as good as him.

''Yes. I can't believe we didn't do it earlier.''

''Hey, it is not my fault.'' Hotch joked.

''Ahh, you are so mean!'' JJ joked as she punched his shoulder and Hotch hissed out in a fake pain.

Hotch pulled JJ back against him. JJ snuggled against him and they fell asleep in each other arms.

* * *

The next morning…

Hotch and JJ had spent their last hours together. They were going to be apart for the first time. After yesterday it was going to be even harder. They had spent the rest of their day in bed. They couldn't get enough from each other and it was reassurance for both of them. After Hotch packed his suitcase, they took a cab to the airport together.

JJ and Hotch were standing inside and Hotch had to leave. He was going to New-York for his internship. He didn't want to say goodbye but he knew he had to. Hotch was pulled from his thoughts when he felt JJ squeeze his hand softly.

''I am going to miss you.'' JJ blurted out.

''I know. I am going to miss you to, JJ.''

''Are you sure about going alone? I can come with you. You don't need to be alone, Aaron. I don't care if I have to cut my vacation short.''

''I am sure, JJ. It is fine. Maybe the space will do me some good. I mean that in the good way.'' Hotch said quickly because he didn't want JJ to think about it the wrong way.

''I know what you mean. I love you!'' JJ said and she flew into his arms.

Hotch was speechless as JJ started sobbing into his shirt. He didn't know what to say or how to feel. Their last day had been perfect and he felt like he had to say goodbye to her for forever. He hated the feeling and he wished he had more time to spent with her.

''I love you to, JJ. But I have to go now.'' Hotch announced after a couple of minutes.

''Promise me that you will call me.''

''I promise.'' Hotch said with pain in his voice.

He leaned down for one last kiss. It was a soft kiss filled with love. He pulled away after a few seconds. He put one last kiss on her forehead before turning around. And then he finally walked away. He turned around one more time to take one last look at her.

The tears were stinging in JJ's eyes while she was sitting in the cab to go back to the hotel. She knew she was going to see him in three weeks but she had a bad feeling. It was like she knew that something was wrong. It was scaring her but she just didn't knew what it really meant.


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: So this is the very last chapter of Hotch and JJ in the past. In the next chapter I will go back to the present. There will also be a few chapters about Hotch and JJ's separate pasts. In those chapters you guys will learn what happened in the years they were apart. I know you will hate me for this chapter but this needed to happen to move forward with my story. And I wanted to let you guys know that I am going to change the summary to this story. I hope you all like this chapter! **

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, K.I.M, jenny crum and guest!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 18: The end of a first love**

Three weeks later…

The day had come. It was the day JJ had been looking forward to for three weeks. It had been agonizing for her to be without Hotch. Her heart was aching for him. She wanted to be in his arms. She missed their late-night talks in bed. It was everything about him that she missed. They had contact every single day but it was different than seeing each other for real. Their three weeks apart meant that JJ knew that she didn't want to live without him. Not for a day. Not even for a second. Hotch had become her entire world and she wouldn't be able to lose him.

JJ made her way through the airport. She was waiting at baggage claim. When she saw her bag she quickly grabbed it and she made her way through the endless halls of the airport. When she walked through two big glass doors, she was Hotch standing with his back towards her.

''Aaron! Aaron!'' JJ yelled loudly.

JJ ran towards him and she dropped her bags a few feet away from him. She flew right into his arms and their lips met in a fiery kiss. JJ felt like she could finally breathe once she was in his arms again. It was like her life finally made sense again.

''JJ!'' Hotch sighed deeply as he smelled her hair. It felt good to hold her. Hotch had missed her like crazy. His internship was going really well but he wanted to share everything with JJ. In the past three weeks a lot had happened and he was excited about going forward. His entire life was making sense again when JJ was around him.

''I missed you so much.'' JJ sighed deeply as her head rested against his neck.

''I missed you like crazy, sweetheart.'' Hotch said and he put JJ back down on the ground.

''Well, we should make sure that we aren't apart too long. I hate it and I am not going to let it happen again.''

''Yeah. Come on. Let's go to the apartment.'' Hotch said after grabbing one of JJ's hands.

Their hands intertwined as they made their way through the airport. Hotch led JJ back to his car and he opened the door for her. He put the bags in the back and they drove away.

During the drive home Hotch couldn't keep his eyes away from JJ. He was holding her hand during the entire drive. He could hear his own heart beating in his chest. Every time he thought he couldn't feel more for JJ, he did. The love he felt for her was something he had never experienced before and he wanted to hold onto it for dear life.

When he finally pulled up in front of the small building they both stepped from the car. Hotch took both of JJ's bags. They made their way up to the apartment. Hotch put the keys in the lock and he opened the door. The apartment was small and simple but it was enough for him. He was only going to stay there for six more weeks and then he was going back to DC with JJ. He dropped the bags to the floor and he walked towards JJ.

He stopped a few feet in front of her and he just looked at her. He knew she looked the same but he couldn't help it. He picked her up out of the blue and JJ wrapped her legs around his waist as Hotch put her down on the couch. He was gently kissing her neck while his hands sneaked under her shirt. He pulled away and he took her shirt in his hands and he pulled it over her head. Hotch suddenly stepped from the couch and he pulled JJ along with him. He wanted to take her to the bedroom. Along the way they bumped into several walls.

They had lost all of their clothes once they finally arrived in the bedroom. Hotch softly pushed JJ onto the bed. He didn't want to wait any longer. He knew they were both ready. He gently forced JJ legs apart with his knees. He leaned into her for a powerful kiss and he made a thrust forward at the same time. Hotch heard JJ moan into his ear and it only made him more excited.

''Making up for lost time?'' JJ asked with a smirk on her face.

''I guess so.'' Hotch said as he buried his lips in the crook of her neck.

It didn't take long before his thrust became erratic and unsteady. He was over the edge and JJ followed him within seconds. He let himself fall next to her. JJ rested her head above his heart and she started listening to the beats of his heart. She felt like she was home again as his arms were wrapped around her body.

''I love you!'' Hotch said as he put a soft kiss on her hair. He had missed her so much that is was unexplainable. He missed everything about her. It was like JJ was the one thing that kept him from going insane. She was the thing that kept him going throughout his life.

Hotch and JJ spent the rest of their day in the apartment. They watched TV and ate dinner. They went to bed early because Hotch needed to work in the morning. They spent most of the night talking until they fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning…

The alarm went off and Hotch quickly turned it off because he didn't want to wake up JJ. He took a shower and changed into a suit. He made his way to the kitchen and ate breakfast.

In the meantime JJ was awake as well and she noticed the empty space beside her. She got up from the bed and she wrapped a robe around her body. She walked from the bedroom and she saw Hotch sitting in the kitchen.

''Good morning.'' JJ said softly as she made her way towards him.

''Hi, I didn't want to wake you.'' Hotch said when he saw that JJ looked tired.

''It is fine. Do you mind if I ride to work with you? I would like to see where you work and I can take a cab back to get here. I might explore the city today.'' JJ said to let him know what she was planning on doing with her day.

''Sure. But I have to leave in twenty minutes.''

''Okay. I will shower and change.'' JJ said as she walked back to the bedroom. She took clothes from her bag and she jumped under the shower. She changed into her comfortable skinny jeans and a simple top. She went back into the living room and she saw that Hotch was ready to go. She thought he looked extremely hot in a suit and she didn't mind to see him that way.

The drive to his office was short and JJ insisted on walking in with him. She wanted to see where he worked. When they arrived on the floor where Hotch worked, he saw someone that made his mind go blank and he stopped in his tracks. His eyes met the eyes of the woman who had broken his heart months ago.

''Aaron, are you okay?'' JJ asked with worry when she noticed his strange behavior.

''Uhhh. Yeah, I am fine. Do you mind if I give you the tour of this place tomorrow? I just remembered that I have a meeting with one of the A.D.A's.'' Hotch lied to JJ.

''Sure. I will see you tonight.'' JJ said and she leaned in for a quick kiss. She pulled away after a couple of seconds.

When JJ pulled away Hotch pulled her back towards him and he gave her an intense kiss. He heard JJ moan softly and he let go to catch his breath.

''Okay, we should say goodbye like that more often.'' JJ said with a smile on her face.

''I agree. I will see you tonight. Bye.'' Hotch said and he watched JJ step into the elevator.

He turned around to make his way towards his desk and he tried to ignore the woman. He sat down and he put his focus on his work until he suddenly saw two long bare legs in front of his desk and he couldn't help but look at them. He rose from his chair and he walked towards her.

''Haley?'' Hotch asked as he looked into the eyes of his ex-girlfriend.

''Hello, Aaron. You look great.'' Haley said happily as her eyes traced along Hotch's body.

''Thanks. What are you doing here?'' Hotch asked angrily. He hadn't seen her in almost six months. He thought he hated her but as his eyes made contact with her, he felt something else. It wasn't love but it was lust.

''Well, someone told me that Aaron Hotchner was working at the DA's office and I just had to see for myself. So, who was the girl I just saw you with? She seems sweet.'' Haley said with a laugh in her voice.

''It is none of your business.'' Hotch replied angrily.

''Oh, she is your girlfriend. She looks a lot younger than you do. Maybe she is too fresh for you.''

''Haley, what the hell do you want?'' Hotch asked angrily because she was starting to get on his nerves.

''You. I want you.''

''What?'' Hotch asked with astonishment.

''I miss you, Aaron. And I realize now that I made a mistake when I broke up with you. I want to be with you. I want to move in with you. I want to marry you and I want to have kids with you. Isn't that exactly what you want?'' Haley asked.

''I am with JJ. I don't want to get back together with you.''

''JJ? Like I said, she must be sweet. Probably the exact opposite of me. She is just a rebound, Aaron. She has to be under twenty. What can she offer you? Probably less than I have to offer you.'' Haley said with joy, knowing that she could easily make him cave.

''Haley, you have to leave. Now! I don't want to see you or hear from you. I am happy without you.'' Hotch said angrily and he grabbed her hand and pulled her with him towards the elevator.

''I still love you. And I now you love me. You shouldn't fight it. We are supposed to be together.'' Haley said and she saw Hotch walking towards her.

The elevator doors opened and Hotch pushed Haley inside. When the doors closed behind them, he leaned closer towards her.

''I don't love you. I love someone else. I am happy.'' Hotch whispered into her ear. He was hoping that he didn't feel that rush going through his body but he did. He didn't know why but it just happened. Before he knew it his lips were on Haley's and they kissed until the elevator doors opened. When they opened Hotch turned around and he saw JJ standing in front of the elevator.

JJ's body went weak. She realized he forgot his phone from the car and she wanted to bring it to him. When she saw him with the beautiful blonde in front of him, she didn't know what to say. There were no words in her vocabulary but there was something in her heart that was breaking.

''You forgot your phone!'' JJ said as she put the phone in his hand.

''JJ, wait!'' Hotch said when JJ was walking away. He ran after her and he pulled her towards him by grabbing her shoulder.

''No! We can talk tonight. I can't see you right now.'' JJ yelled angrily and she stormed out of the building.

Hotch turned around and he saw that Haley was smiling at him. He walked besides her and he decided to ignore her completely.

''Call me when you are ready for me!'' Haley said excitedly before the doors to the elevator closed again.

Hotch felt like beating himself. He had no idea what had gotten into him. He wished he could turn back time. He walked towards his desk and he sat down in his chair. He slammed his hand onto the desk.

''Mr. Hotchner, may I have word with you?'' a voice said from the other side of the room.

''Of course, sir.'' Hotch said after standing up. He made his way towards the A.D.A's office and he sat down in a chair across from his desk.

''Well, I have reviewed your work over the past three weeks and your work has been outstanding. We have a job opening at the end of summer and I would like you to take it.'' the man said.

''A job? Here? In New-York?'' Hotch asked.

''Yes.''

Hotch couldn't believe what was happening. The rest of the conversation flew by like a haze. Everything was falling apart. He didn't know what to do. His entire life was now depending on choices he was going to have to make. He knew he could hurt people with them but he also knew they could give him opportunities of a lifetime.

* * *

That night…

JJ went straight home after she had seen Hotch kissing someone else. She had been at the apartment and she had tried to keep herself together. She wanted and explanation from him. She needed to know what happened. She was mad at him and she couldn't believe it when she was it with her own eyes. She never thought Hotch would be a cheater.

JJ was walking around in the same clothes all day. She was pacing through the living room because she knew Hotch could be back home at any moment and she needed to get ready for the conversation. She had no idea what was going to happen but she didn't want to lose him. She knew they could get past it. He just needed to tell her that they could. JJ sat down on the couch and the door opened at the exact same moment.

Hotch walked into the apartment and he saw JJ sitting on the couch. She stood up right away and he saw the hurt on her face. He didn't want to see her like that at all and especially not because of something he did but he knew he was the reason for it.

''JJ, are you okay?'' Hotch asked carefully.

''Am I okay? Are you kidding me? Of course I am not. I saw you kiss someone at work. How can I know that you haven't been doing god knows what with her behind my back?'' JJ said angrily.

''Hale…I…I haven't been doing anything behind your back. I would never do that.'' Hotch said softly and he wanted to walk closer towards JJ but she held up her hand.

''Is it her? Oh my god, was it Haley?'' JJ asked with a nagging feeling in her stomach.

''Yes. It was Haley.''

''Why?'' JJ asked because she wanted an explanation. Well, she needed an explanation for his actions.

''What do you mean?'' Hotch asked like he didn't know what she was talking about.

''I can't believe you. Who are we kidding? You still love her!''

''No, I don't!'' Hotch said angrily because JJ was making assumptions and he knew they were true but he didn't want to believe it.

''Really? Why don't I believe you!''

''Okay, fine. Maybe, I love her. But she can give me things you can't give me.'' Hotch bluntly and he saw JJ's expression change.

JJ walked around the couch and she stepped in front of Hotch. Her expression was filled with hurt. Her heart was slowly breaking into tiny pieces.

''Like what?''

''She can give me what I want. She already has a job and she wants to settle down with me. Plus, I got a job offer to stay at the DA's office. I would have everything I always wanted in life.'' Hotch explained and he didn't realize what he was saying.

''Who said I don't want to settle down with you? But I guess I am not good enough for you anymore. I am just going to college and you are going to be a hot-shot lawyer. Of course someone like you could never be with me, right?'' JJ asked angrily and she turned around and the tears were now streaming down her face.

''I didn't mean it like that.''

''Than what did you mean?'' JJ yelled angrily.

''What if we don't make it? I don't have any reassurance from you. Nothing. And Haley, I know she can give me that.'' he said and he grabbed JJ by her wrist to turn her around. But JJ yanked herself away from him. She finally turned around and she looked him in the eyes and she felt like everything had been a lie.

''I love you. So, that isn't enough reassurance? We slept together. You know what that means to me. I gave you my heart and that should be enough reassurance for you. I gave you my trust. I gave you everything and it still isn't enough.''

''And what if we do make it? What then, huh? You are throwing us away for Haley? The girl that dumped you?'' JJ continued.

''Look JJ! I love you. I do.'' Hotch said with all honesty and he knew it was hard for JJ to believe him.

''Make a choice, Aaron! You have to make a choice!'' JJ said suddenly because she needed to know what he wanted.

''What?'' he asked dumbly.

''Her or me!'' JJ said again.

There fell a long silence between them and JJ sobs were becoming worse when she realized what was happening. She turned around and she sat down on the couch. She put her arms around her body like a protection shield. She felt Hotch sit down next to her and she moved away immediately.

''The choice should be easy. You are supposed to choose me, but I guess you can't.'' JJ said as she rose from the chair and she made her way into the bedroom to pack her things. She needed to leave. She needed to get away from him. She believed he was different and in the end he turned out to be a bastard.

''Look at me, JJ! Don't do this!'' Hotch said when he stood behind her as she was packing her bag.

''I don't want to but you aren't making a choice. I think we are perfect for each other but you let her come between us. What do you want from me?''

''I want you to wait.''

''For what? Until you make a choice? It is easy! Choose her or me!'' JJ yelled loudly as she threw her clothes into the bag.

''I can't do this when the relationship is becoming long distant, JJ. I just can't.''

''I see. Your choice is Haley, isn't it?'' JJ asked as she stopped in front of him.

''Yes. I am so sorry, JJ.''

''You should have told me this when we started dating! I can't believe that this is your way of dumping me. Thank you for everything. I had fun while it lasted.'' JJ said and she was trying to make a joke but the tears were clouding her words entirely.

''I love you, JJ but I want more than what we have and Haley is ready to give me that now.'' Hotch said again and JJ cringed as he made the comment.

''You can't tell me that you love me. Not now! Not ever! You know I would have done anything for you.'' JJ said and she closed her bag. She grabbed and she walked into the living room to take the other as well.

''I know, JJ. Please, don't leave like this. Can't we be friends?''

''Friends? Are you freaking kidding me! I can't be friends with you. I don't ever want to see or hear from you again. I want you out of my life. Your choice is clear to me. But I think you are making a mistake. And when your relationship with Haley comes crashing down and you realize you made a mistake, don't come back to me. I will never give you another chance.'' JJ said loudly and she was wiping away the tears from her face. She looked at her hand and she saw the eternity ring. She slowly slipped it off her finger and she held in her hand for a while. She took Hotch's hand in her own and she put the ring in his hand. She closed his hand afterwards and she took a few steps back.

''JJ, I want you to keep it.'' Hotch said with the ring in his hand.

''No, I don't want it anymore. I am sorry. I have to go. I can't stay here.'' JJ said softly and she walked towards the door.

Hotch took JJ's wrist and he pulled her back. He could see the anger in her eyes but he didn't want her to leave like this.

''Let me go, Aaron.'' JJ said softly while she was trying to not show her tears again.

''I just want you to know that I have never met anyone like you.'' Hotch said and he saw JJ shaking her head at his comment.

''Then why aren't you choosing me? Why are you breaking up with me? You know what, I don't want an explanation. I am leaving. There is no turning back. I thought you were a different person but I guess I really underestimated you. Bye!'' JJ said and she closed the door behind her. When she was at the end of the hall, she broke down completely. She leaned against the wall and she dropped to the ground. She let her head rest in her hands and the tears were streaming down her face. Her heart was completely shattered. Hotch broke her heart and she never expected it to happen. Her heart was in a thousand little pieces and she had no idea how long it was going to take to pick them all up again.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: So, this chapter is really long. I hope you all like this! If you guys have any questions about this story or about anything else you can always ask me. This story is already getting complicated and I want to answer any questions you have. I am available through PM.**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, JZ, guest and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 19: The present**

**Ten years later…**

BAU offices, Quantico

The team just came back from a case in Los-Angeles and another case needed their attention immediately. Hotch got the call from a detective in Chicago. He had been looking through the file and he knew it was going to be a hard one. The entire team was exhausted but he didn't want there to be another victim because he wanted to wait one more day before the case. He would rather be at home with his wife and his two year old son. He loved his job and it was the one place where he felt at home but he knew his family needed more of his attention as well. There were times in his marriage when he and Haley were having fights but it wasn't always like that. He was pretty happy in his marriage. At least that was what he thought. Sometimes he wished he never married Haley because she could be the same manipulative woman she used to be in the past and that was a side of her that he hated with his entire being. He took one last look at the family photo and he finally rose from his chair.

Hotch made his way onto the catwalk and he saw the team sitting at their desks. It had been two hard years since he became unit chief. Elle and Gideon had left the team when he just started as unit chief and Rossi and Emily replaced them. The changes were hard at first but in two years the team had become like a real family who trusted each other with their lives. They did have their hard times with some cases. Some were more horrific and then the next but that was all part of the job they choose to do.

''We have a case. Meet me in the conference room.'' Hotch ordered and he quickly walked towards the conference room to put all the files on the roundtable. Presenting cases was the thing he hated the most. He liked it better to sit back and listen as the case was presented but it had become part of his job after several media liaisons failed to meet his expectations.

The team sat down in the chairs around the table. Hotch could see that they all hated it that they had another case but there was nothing he could do about it.

''What is the case?'' Morgan asked grumpily.

''Can't it wait one more day, sir?'' Prentiss asked while her head rested in her hands.

''No, it can't Prentiss. This case needs our priority.'' Hotch said sternly.

''Okay. I am sorry.'' Prentiss apologized quickly when she saw Hotch's face.

''Chicago needs our help with a serial rapist. The rapes started two weeks ago. He has raped and killed five women. The period between attacks are becoming shorter. He attacks the victims on the streets. All the women were blonde with blue eyes.'' Hotch stated and he showed the photos of the victims.

''Are there any connections between the victims?'' Rossi asked.

''The police haven't found any yet. I just asked Garcia to look for any connections between the victims. So far, nothing has come up yet.'' Hotch replied and he sat down in a chair next to Reid and Prentiss.

''Were there any signs that the victims were stalked?'' Morgan asked.

''It is nearly impossible for the unsub to have stalked five women and to kill them in two weeks.'' Reid said analytical.

''But it can be done?'' Hotch asked.

''Technically, it is possible. If you count the amount of….'' Reid tried to say but an interruption followed.

''Reid, we know what you mean. There isn't any way to be sure if the victims were stalked or not.'' Rossi added.

''I decided to take this case because the unsub is evolving quickly in his methods. I don't want to risk another victim. If he is not stalking these victims these are blitz attacks. We can talk about the case once we land in Chicago. We all should try to get some sleep on the plane. Wheels up in twenty.'' Hotch ordered and everyone left the conference room to get their go-bags together.

Hotch quickly went to his office and he replaced some suits. He knew he was supposed to call Haley to let her know that he had another case but he thought it could wait for a couple of hours. He grabbed his guns from his drawer and he put them in their holsters. He left the office with the rest of the team.

* * *

Jimmy's Bar, Chicago…

JJ slammed the empty glass down on the counter of the bar. She was sitting on a stool in the empty bar. It was 11 pm and there was no one else in the bar. She knew most people would come around midnight and that was time she left. JJ's elbows rested on the bar and her head rested in her hands.

''Give me another one, Jimmy!'' JJ said softly as she watched the owner of the bar frown when she started talking.

''Okay, but this is the last one.'' Jimmy said and he put another beer in front of JJ.

''Ahh, come on. This is my second one. I am not even drunk yet and you of all people know I don't become drunk easily.'' JJ said.

''Yeah, I do know that. But I also since you moved here five years ago, you didn't drink as much as you have in the past three months. You were gone for almost two and half years and then you just show up here three months ago. Your job really gets you around the world, doesn't it? I wish I would have become an art dealer when I was younger.'' Jimmy said happily.

''No, you don't want to be one. Believe me.'' JJ said as she thought back about her experiences on the job. No one knew what her real job was and most people couldn't know.

''Well, I would love to change with you darling.''

''I wish I could, Jimmy. I wish I could.'' JJ said as she took a zip of the beer on font of her. She was 23 when she first came into this bar. She had just moved to Chicago and everything was new to her. Jimmy became her new friend and the person who showed her around the city. He was slightly older than herself but he was a good man and JJ loved the way he welcomed her.

''You should go out and find a nice man for yourself, JJ.'' Jimmy commented and JJ cringed at his comment.

''I don't need a man. Men are just overrated.'' JJ lied easily because she didn't want to think about it. Her hand reached her neck and she gently touched the ring that hang on it. She could feel the tears stinging in her eyes but she was able to keep them at bay.

''Are you all right?'' Jimmy asked when he saw the sadness in JJ's eyes.

''Yeah, I am okay. Thanks, Jimmy.''

''JJ, I don't if I should say this but you haven't been yourself since you got back here. What happened? Where have you been in the past two and half years?'' Jimmy asked curiously.

''I have been everywhere. And nothing happened. I am just really tired.'' JJ said and she rose from the stool.

''Are you going?'' Jimmy asked.

''Yeah. I will see you tomorrow. Bye.'' JJ said and she walked towards the door.

Once she was outside she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her mind went back to the past five years and she couldn't help but think about it. The past two and half years were the years that really haunted her the most.

* * *

_**Five and a half years ago…**_

_JJ was walking through the immense building. She couldn't believe she was actually there. She was in France. She was at Interpol Headquarters in Lyon to be exact. When she was approached by a man when she was still at Georgetown she was laughing at him when he told her that they wanted her to work for Interpol. But when he showed her his badge and he gave her a number, she believed it. She could have never dreamed about a job like that. When she finally had her degree, she had no idea what she wanted to become but when they told her that they wanted to recruit her, she didn't pass up the opportunity. They told her she could travel all over world. It was exactly what JJ wanted to hear and there was nothing that was keeping her in DC anymore. Sure, she had Sam in DC but she was going to start her own life as well and JJ didn't want to be hold back by anything._

_JJ walked through the endless hallways and she tried to keep her nerves in check but it was becoming really hard for her. She was following a man, who was bringing her to the person she needed to meet. She saw cameras and security everywhere when she looked around the building._

''_You can go in. He is waiting for you.'' the man said after he opened the doors to the office._

_JJ walked into the office and she saw and older man sitting behind a gigantic desk. She walked towards him and she shook his hands._

''_Hello, sir.'' JJ said confidently._

''_Hello. You must be Jennifer Jareau. I am Derrick Nash.'' Derrick said and he sat back down in his chair and he gestured JJ to sit down as well._

''_It is nice to meet you, sir. And you can call me, JJ.''_

''_Well, JJ it is nice to meet you. How are you?'' Derrick asked kindly._

''_I am fine. I am nervous because I have no idea what I am doing here. What would Interpol want with me?'' JJ asked curiously because she still couldn't believe the entire situation._

''_We want a lot with you. I will explain everything to you. You probably know that Interpol acts all around the world.''_

''_Yes.'' JJ agreed._

''_I recently lost three of my agents during a case and I have been looking for people to replace them, which isn't an easy task. I have been reassigned to the field office in Chicago. They want me back there in six months. I was also ordered to recruit new agents. When I was looking through the Georgetown database your photo and history popped up and it looked really promising. We look for people who don't have a lot of family and friends anymore. That is because this job will take you all over the world. If you are interested you will go through extensive training for six months here, in Lyon. You will learn everything you need to know. When your training is over, you will come back to Chicago with me and you will get your assignments from there.'' Derrick explained to JJ and he saw her face light up when he was talking._

''_What kind of assignments? And what kind of department will I be working for?'' JJ asked with astonishment._

''_Well, I am the supervisor of International Security. Assignments in this department include everything that has to do something with International Crimes. It mostly will be drug trafficking, human trafficking, weapons smuggling, terrorism, organized crimes and the list goes on. Your field will be based on all kinds of international crimes that need to be solved. You will get an assignment when another field office asks for our assistance. You can go in alone or with a partner. You can go undercover or you can be there as an Agent. The length of the assignments can change as well. What do you think about it?'' Derrick asked after he explained what kind of job she was going to get._

''_It sounds impressive. When can I start with the training?'' JJ asked immediately._

''_See, I knew I would like you. We will set you up with an apartment for the next six months and you will get your own personal trainer for every field. I am going to assign Brad Warren to you. He will contact you tomorrow. We only need to sign some papers to make everything official.'' Derrick said._

''_Okay.'' JJ said with a smile on her face._

* * *

JJ was still walking while she was thinking about the memory. She was pulled from the memory when she felt like she was being followed. She quickly turned around and she saw no one. She kept walking and she turned into an alley when she was sure that someone was still following her. Her years with Interpol made her hyper vigilant. She tackled a man when he walked around the corner because she was sure that he was following her. The man fell to the ground and JJ walked towards him to check if he was all right. She didn't know if her feeling was right but she acted because she didn't feel safe.

''Why did you to that?'' the man yelled angrily as he rose from the ground.

''I am sorry. Let me help you.'' JJ said kindly and she was about to take his hands when he suddenly jumped her.

The man had JJ pinned down on the ground and he forced himself on top of her. He held her hands tightly above her head while he tried to keep her from struggling with his body.

''Stop, you bitch!'' the man yelled and he pulled a knife and he held it against JJ's throat.

JJ was starting to freeze when she saw the knife but she reminded herself of where she was. She stopped struggling and he finally let go of her hands. He held the knife to her throat with one hand while the other hand was moving down her body. JJ took that moment to quickly turn herself on her stomach under his weight and she flipped herself away from underneath him. She felt the knife graze against her arm in the process. When she was standing she kicked him in the stomach and he stumbled backwards.

''Stop! Or I will kill you!'' he yelled and this time he pulled a gun.

JJ knew she couldn't get away from a gun with her training. No matter how fast she was, he always had the advantage on her. JJ stood still in her tracks while she held her hands up.

The man slowly walked towards her and he pointed the gun at her heart. He pushed JJ against a wall and she hissed out when she collided with it. He walked towards her and he grabbed her by the throat in a choking hold.

''You are going to pay, just like all the others. You bitches shouldn't even get to walk this earth. I will show you what a real man can do to you and you will not leave me again.'' he whispered into her ear while he started choking JJ even harder.

JJ felt there was some distance between her and the assailant. She carefully lifted her right leg and she kicked him against his left knee with force. She knew his knee broke with the force she put on it. He fell to the ground and JJ gave him another kick. She ran away but she heard a gunshot and a pain in her shoulder followed. Her hand went to cover her shoulder and she made her way from the alley. She started stumbling down the street and she finally picked up her phone and dialed 911.

* * *

Chicago Police Department…

The team had been in Chicago about four hours and there weren't any new leads yet. They were starting to put pieces of the profile together but there wasn't much they knew. It was like they needed to wait for another victim to get more information about the unsub.

Hotch's phone had been ringing non-stop and he finally decided to pick up. He knew it was Haley and he knew she was going to be mad once he told her that they were on a case again.

''Hotchner.'' he said to answer his phone.

''_Aaron! Where are you? I have been waiting for you. It is 11.30 pm. I am worried about you.'' _Haley said loudly.

''I am on a case, Haley. I didn't have time to call you. I am sorry. I am in Chicago right now.''

''_I thought you were in LA. Did you get another case?''_

''Yes. How are you and Jack?''

''_We are okay. I just wish you were here with me.''_

''Good. Honey, I have to go. I love you.''

''_I love you to. Bye!'' _Haley said and they both hung up the phone.

Hotch saw that the local cops were suddenly talking loud and Hotch rejoined the group. He stood still next to Rossi.

''Hotch, there is another victim.'' Rossi said.

''Where was she found?'' Hotch asked with a grim look on his face.

''Well, that is the thing. She wasn't found. She is actually in the hospital.'' Morgan explained.

''What? How? I thought this unsub didn't leave his victims behind.'' Hotch said surprised. He knew it didn't fit the pattern but he was glad to hear that some woman made it out alive.

''They don't much. Only that she is blonde and has blue eyes. She hasn't said much yet.'' Prentiss added.

''Okay. Prentiss I want you to come with me. We will go to the hospital to interview the victim and to figure out if there are any connections. I want the rest of you to look into the victim's personal lives.'' Hotch ordered.

Hotch and Prentiss walked through the station. They stepped into the SUV and they drove away towards the hospital.

* * *

Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago…

JJ was brought to the hospital by a cop after she insisted that she was okay. She was too stubborn to go with the ambulance. She knew she could take a bullet and a cut to her arm because she had been through much worse. The bullet was a through and through. When she was in the hospital they cleaned her wounds and put bandages on it.

They insisted that JJ had to stay in the hospital for observation but she didn't want to stay in the hospital. A nurse just walked in and JJ planned on telling her that she didn't want to stay. Before she could finish her sentence to the nurse standing next to her bed, the door to the examination room opened.

She suddenly lost all of her words. Not only did she lose her words, she lost her coordination. He gave her the exact same feeling as he did ten years ago. She never thought about the possibility of seeing him again. The man, who used to make her lose her footing was standing a few feet away from her. How could she prepare herself? Prepare herself to see the man who meant everything to her when she was just a teenager. The man that made her feel things she had never experienced before. And even now he affected her as much as he had in the past.

Their gazes met and locked, pulling her back into the reality of the situation. A wave of emotion and old feelings hit her. She felt utterly powerless. How could she still feel this way? She had been all over the world. She had her romantic flings, she dated and she had met someone else. But how was it possible to have those feelings resurface or let alone feel them the exact same way, or even more impossible, feel them multiplied by ten times.

Nothing had changed about him. Sure, he was more mature but he was even more handsome if he possibly could be. His features had definitely matured over the years, which wasn't a surprise to her. His dark eyes radiated the same warmth as they used to.

Looking at her he felt like he was back in his twenties again. His eyed traced along the delicate features of the woman who had meant the world to him. He suddenly felt like he could faint. He almost lost his footing when she stared back at him. Her piercing blue eyes looked so different. The joy was replaced by pain. God, she was sexy. She still had the same look but there was also something really different about her. Her piercing blue eyes seemed to hold all the mysteries of the world along with pain and suffering in them. Those eyes used to be filled with joy. Back then, he had known each part of her face and body. He actually believed he had known her and that he still would if he ever saw her again. But she just seemed different in a mysterious way. It looked like her innocence was shattered and she looked broken in every meaning of the word.

JJ wanted to look away from him when she noticed the brunette next to him but her eyes didn't leave his. Everything she felt ten years ago came rushing back to her. Everything, including the heartbreak. He had broken her heart completely and sometimes she still thought her heart was broken. But as time went on she tried to forget about him and it worked out pretty well. But as he was standing in front of her, she couldn't help but feel all those feelings again. Her eyes flowed over his entire body and she noticed the wedding ring on his finger. It wasn't a surprise to her because he always wanted to get married and he thought she couldn't give him that. Maybe he was right. Maybe she wasn't fit for marriage and kids. When she started thinking about it, she reminded herself that he was the one that broke all of the promises he had made. He wasn't right about her. JJ didn't want to think about the past. Her past was filled with regrets, heartache, loss, pain and suffering and she didn't want to feel that anymore.

Hotch saw JJ advert her eyes but his eyes stayed on her. He never thought he would see her again after she walked out if his apartment ten years ago. The adrenaline was rushing through his veins. She was still the beautiful blonde girl but there was something so different about her. Hotch couldn't believe that this was how they met again. He still thought about her every day. And when he got back together with Haley he knew he made a mistake to let her go. He thought about her every single day. He even had a picture of her in his office drawer. He knew she was the one that got away. But he got married. He was successful and he had everything he could have ever wanted but the one thing he wanted most was the one thing he lost years ago. It was Jennifer Jareau. He got everything he wanted out of life but he didn't have JJ. He had her but he lost her. The blonde beauty that stole his heart was now a victim in his case.

''Hotch?'' Prentiss said to get his attention because he looked completely blown away by something and she had no idea what it was.

''What?'' Hotch said softly as his eyes went to the brunette next to him.

''Case! Victim!'' Prentiss said to make it clear to him.

''What? Wait, one second!'' JJ said as she sat up in the bed.

''I am not a victim.'' JJ continued.

''Calm down, Ma'am.'' Prentiss said.

''First of all, I am not a Ma'am. Call me Jennifer or JJ, whatever you like. And second of all, who the hell are you?'' JJ asked Prentiss and she could see a surprised look on Hotch's face.

''Okay, Jennifer. I am SSA Emily Prentiss and this is SSA Aaron Hotchner. He is the unit chief of the BAU.'' Prentiss explained and she saw that JJ didn't look impressed. Most people reacted differently to the FBI and it surprised her completely.

''Behavioral Analysis Unit? FBI? And I know him already.'' JJ said bluntly because she didn't care about the consequences. She wanted to leave the hospital and she especially didn't want to talk to the FBI.

''Yes. And how do you know all that?'' Hotch asked her.

''I don't know any of that at all. I just read about you guys once.'' JJ lied easily. She knew the BAU existed. She just didn't know that Hotch was leading the unit. She didn't even know he was an Agent. She didn't know any of it because she did as much as she could to not think about him.

''How have you been, JJ?'' Hotch asked softly with no mean intentions.

''I am great, Aaron.'' JJ said as politely as she could. She wanted to yell at him. She knew now she never dealt with their break-up in the right way.

''Good. Would you mind telling us about your attack?'' Hotch asked.

''No!'' JJ said harshly.

''What?'' Hotch asked with astonishment.

''I can't talk to you.'' JJ said, knowing that it would be bad if she was going on record as a victim in This case.

''Why not?'' Prentiss asked.

''It is none of your business.'' JJ said and she was stepping from the bed.

''Jennifer, you can't leave. You need to stay for observation.'' the nurse said.

''I am sorry but I can't stay.'' JJ said loudly and she put on a sweater and a pair of sweatpants. Her shoulder was hurting but she didn't show any pain.

JJ was about to walk out the door when Hotch stepped in front of her. He had no idea why she was acting that way but he wasn't about to let a witness walk away.

''Get away from her!'' a male voice said from the other side of the room.

JJ turned around when she heard the male voice. She was surprised to see him and she sighed deeply when he gave her a big smile.

''JJ, get back in that bed.'' he said and JJ did as she was told.

In the meantime Hotch felt a pang of jealousy when he saw the man walk towards JJ. He had no idea what was going on and he knew he needed to find out.

''James, what are you doing here?'' JJ asked as he was standing next to her bed.

''I had a meeting with Derrick today and he just called me to tell me that you are in the hospital.'' James explained.

''How did he know? I didn't even call him.'' JJ said because she had no idea how her Interpol Supervisor knew that she was in the hospital.

''Oh, come on. He has guys everywhere. He probably heard it through someone else. How are you holding up?'' James asked as he softly patted JJ on the shoulder.

''I have been better. I am okay, I promise. Just tell them that I can't answer any questions. And please let me leave this hospital. You know how I feel about hospitals.'' JJ said to James and she saw him turning around to take a look at Hotch and Prentiss.

''Who are they? Police?'' James asked JJ after he finally looked at Hotch and Prentiss.

''FBI. They can't force me to say anything, right?'' JJ asked softly.

''No, don't worry JJ.'' James said to reassure his agent. He knew JJ had been through a lot and the last thing he wanted was to cause her more stress.

''May I interrupt?'' Hotch asked kindly after he had listened to the entire conversation between JJ and the older man. He was getting sick of not knowing what was going on. He needed to find out if JJ was attacked by the same man as the other victims.

''Sure.'' James said as he turned around to face them.

''Thank you. Who are you to JJ?'' Hotch asked because he wanted to know what JJ's relationship with him was.

''None of your business. Sir, these are SSA's Emily Prentiss and Aaron Hotchner.'' JJ said to introduce everyone. JJ watched as they all shook hands and she wanted to laugh when James still didn't give his entire name. The entire situation was overly awkward to her and she couldn't control her emotions.

''Can we ask you some questions about the attack, JJ?'' Hotch asked.

''Jennifer Jareau can't be part of this investigation.'' James said.

''Why not?'' Prentiss asked.

''Agent Hotchner, you can't speak to Ms. Jareau.'' James stated again.

''Why not? What the hell is going on here? And who are you, if I might ask?'' Hotch asked angrily.

''I am James Carter and I am also JJ's supervisor.'' James replied after a long time of thinking.

''Supervisor?'' Prentiss asked.

''Which agency? And what department?'' Hotch asked after he realized that JJ had to be law enforcement.

JJ looked at James and she saw him nod his head. She knew he agreed to telling them where she worked but she knew she couldn't talk about much more.

''I was JJ's former supervisor at the CIA but she still works for Interpol.'' James explained.

JJ saw that Hotch's mouth dropped open in disbelief. She sometimes didn't even believe it herself. She couldn't believe it when got a job at Interpol but let alone a job with the CIA. Her work with the CIA had been filled with trauma and loss for both herself and the entire agency but it was still a good job to have.

''CIA? Interpol? JJ?'' Hotch asked in astonishment.

''He is telling the truth. I haven't worked in the past three months and…'' JJ tried to say but she was interrupted.

''Her Interpol supervisor, Derrick Nash, put her on leave because she had been working non-stop.'' James said to finish her sentence.

''Okay. Can we ask you some questions about the attack now?'' Hotch asked again.

''No, you can't. She has worked on several classified operations and her name can't become public record on a case. We can't take that risk. I am sorry.'' James said.

''I don't want to make this harder on you but I will make sure that I get to talk to Jennifer. You can either make this harder or easier. And believe me, you don't want me to make your life harder!'' Hotch threatened.

''You don't get to make threats. If her name gets out in any way we can risk our operations and I am not willing to comprise those. Get out of here!'' James said angrily.

JJ watched as Hotch and Prentiss left the room. She sighed deeply. Her nerves finally went away. Seeing him was harder than she thought it would ever be. He still made her heart beat faster.

''Are you are okay?'' he asked again.

''I am fine. I will be once I am out of here. What are you doing here? I thought you were still in DC on the investigation.'' JJ answered.

''Well, I came here because I need to talk to you. I have some good news for you, JJ.''

''What?'' JJ asked somberly.

'' You have been cleared, JJ. They cleared you last week.''

''Really? Finally?'' JJ asked and a weight had been lifted of her shoulders.

''Yes. I never believed you were the mole, JJ. I know it wasn't you. We just needed solid proof to get you to come back. And I came here to talk to Nash about you. We want to renew your contract with CIA and Interpol. That means that you will still be working for both agencies. And I want you to head the investigation, JJ. You are the only field agent left who has been with this operation for the last two and a half years. We need you to lead the investigation. I know you are the best person for this unit.'' James said.

''I don't know if I can. The last year has taken so much from me that I just don't know if I am ready to get back to work yet. I also don't know if I am able to go on with this operation.'' JJ said with all honesty because it had broken her.

''If you don't want to do it, there will be someone else. We need to get justice. No matter how. Justice will be served. I promise you.''

''I know. Can I think about it?'' JJ asked with the tears stinging in her eyes.

''Of course. I will bring you back to your apartment. I am leaving tomorrow afternoon. It is late. You need your sleep right now.''

''Thank you.'' JJ said as she stepped from the bed. She was already wearing the sweater and sweatpants. She was ready to leave the hospital. She didn't want to stay there. Well, she actually didn't feel safe anywhere. She was pretending to be fine when she really wasn't. Her life had been shattered and she didn't know if she was ever going to be able to put the pieces back together.


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N: I am slowly introducing JJ's past. I think most of her past will come up in the next few chapters. I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum, samcarter1980 and guest!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: The second time**

Chicago Police Department…

Hotch and Prentiss arrived back at the police station. Hotch had been thinking about JJ the entire time. He still couldn't believe that she worked for Interpol and the CIA. A part of him was mad because she didn't want to talk about what happened but another part of him was really worried about her. He had no idea what happened during the attack and he wished he could talk to her. He wished he could be there for her like he was there for her in the past. But he knew the past was in the past and he would never be able to reverse his mistake.

''Did the witness gave you anything?'' Rossi asked when he noticed that Hotch and Prentiss were back.

''No, she isn't talking to us.'' Prentiss replied.

''Why not?'' Morgan asked curiously.

''She says she can't talk because of her job. She works for Interpol and CIA.'' Hotch explained but deep down he knew that part of it had something to do with him as well.

''That is probably why she is still alive. She was probably able to fight him off.'' Morgan suggested.

''I think Morgan might be right. If she works for CIA or Interpol, she has to be able to defend herself really well.'' Reid said in agreement with Morgan.

''Hotch, can I talk to you in private for a minute?'' Prentiss asked suddenly.

''Sure. I want the rest of you to get some sleep. We will meet here tomorrow at 9 am. I will call Garcia with the new information. I will ask her to check for any suspicious people that came into the ER around the neighborhood where Jareau was attacked. Get some rest!'' Hotch said and he waited until everyone was gone before he talked to Prentiss.

''What is it, Prentiss?'' Hotch asked tiredly.

''Is there a chance that JJ might not want to talk to us because of your history together?'' Prentiss asked carefully.

''What?''

''I was just suggesting, sir.''

''Don't ever suggest again, Agent Prentiss. I will see you back here tomorrow morning. Goodnight!'' Hotch said angrily and he left the station after he grabbed his bag.

He stepped into his car and he took the phone from his pocket. He needed to call Garcia and ask her to look into injured people that came into the ER's around the unsub's kill zone.

''_Lair of all things knowledge.'' _Garcia say to greet Hotch.

''Garcia, I need you to check into people that came into the ER from 11.30 and after. You only need to check hospitals that are near the neighborhood where are latest victim was attacked.'' Hotch said quickly.

''_Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?''_

''Yeah, can you look into Jennifer Jareau?'' Hotch asked. He wanted to know as much as he could. He hadn't seen her in ten years and he knew something happened to her. He could see it in her eyes.

''_Sure. There is not much about her. She is a registered art dealer for a firm in Chicago. From what I can see, she has traveled all around the world.'' _

''Her job as an art dealer is a cover. Could you look into the Interpol and CIA databases for me? She is an agent for both agencies. And could you please text me her address?'' Hotch asked.

_''Of course. I will get on it.''_ Garcia said and she hung up the phone.

Hotch put away his phone after he read the text and he drove away.

* * *

JJ's apartment, Chicago…

JJ was sitting on her couch. She had just taken a shower. She put on a shirt and sweatpants. She woke up from a nightmare and she couldn't sleep anymore. Her body was covered in sweat and the tears were stinging in her blue eyes. Her entire body was shivering and she jumped when she heard a knock on the door. She quickly grabbed her gun from the nightstand and she made her way towards the door. She looked through the peephole and she was relieved to see Hotch standing on the other side. Another part of her was angry. She didn't want to see him in that moment. She didn't want to see him at all.

She held her gun next to her upper thigh as she opened the door. He was standing in front of her with a smile on his face and JJ couldn't help but look at him with anger in her eyes.

''Seriously?'' JJ asked angrily as she opened the door entirely.

''I was worried about you, JJ.'' Hotch said honestly.

''You don't have the right to worry about me.''

''I do! You were attacked by a deranged killer. I wanted to make sure that you are all right.''

''I can protect myself. I don't need you to be here for me. I have done pretty well in the past ten years.'' JJ said and she stepped in front of Hotch when he wanted to come closer.

''I know that, JJ. I just needed to make sure that you were okay but you actually don't look okay. What happened?'' Hotch asked when he finally noticed the gun in her hands.

''The last ten years happened!'' JJ yelled angrily.

''What happened to you?'' Hotch asked again and he saw JJ turning around. He grabbed the gun from her hands and he pulled her back by the wrist.

JJ turned around angrily and her eyes said it all to Hotch. Her expression was darkened and she looked angry like he had never seen her before.

''Don't go there, Aaron. I haven't seen you in ten years. I am not planning on telling you my life's story. It is none of your business and I want you to leave.'' JJ stated and she wanted to close the door but he put his hand on it to keep it from closing.

''What changed you?'' Hotch asked to get an answer from JJ.

''I didn't change. I never did. Circumstances changed. That is what happened. There is nothing that changed me. But let me give you one piece of advice, Aaron…'' JJ said and she took one deep breath.

''You never know what you have until you lose it and once you lose it you can never get it back.'' JJ continued.

''What do you mean?'' Hotch asked when he didn't understand where she was going with it but the comment hit him like a truck. He had lost JJ and to him it was starting to look like he could never get her back. He was married but once he was around JJ that thought disappeared into thin air.

''You are married, right?'' JJ asked while she pointed at his ring.

''Yes. I married Haley seven years ago and I had a son two years ago.'' Hotch said honestly, knowing that it could hurt JJ. His marriage to Haley wasn't a secret. Most people told him that they were perfect for each other but he doubted that a lot.

''You have a family, Aaron. Don't let it go to waste. Every single minute counts. I have to go home to an empty apartment every single day. Treasure and cherish all the moments you have with them before it is too late to do it.'' JJ said as her hand went to the ring around her neck. Hotch suddenly noticed the diamond ring hanging around her neck. He knew it had to stand for something important because JJ touched it with so much love and grace. He saw the look in her eyes change for a couple of seconds when she touched the ring.

''Who gave you that?'' Hotch asked carefully.

''No one. It belonged to my sister.'' JJ lied.

''You are lying. I know that necklace doesn't belong to your sister because you would have worn it when we were together.'' Hotch explained easily, knowing that he was right.

''You are right! When we were together! We are not together anymore. You don't have a right to come here.'' JJ said again and she was about to turn around again when Hotch took a grip on her shoulder. JJ cringed and her entire body started shaking under his strong hold. Hotch let go immediately when he was shocked by her reaction.

''JJ, I am so sorry. Are you okay?'' Hotch asked when he saw her shivering. He could see the tears on her cheek and he had no idea what just happened.

''I am fine. Just go! I don't want to see you more than I did the last time I saw you.'' JJ said angrily and she slammed the door shut.

She quickly made her way to the couch and she sat down. Her arms wrapped around her body as a protection shield and the memory started flashing through her mind.

* * *

_**Two and half years ago…**_

_JJ was sitting in her apartment in Chicago. She just came back home from a case in Mexico. She assisted the local authorities in taking down a drug ring in the wealthy parts or Mexico. She had been gone for two whole months and she was glad to be back home. Mexico had definitely done her some good. The weather and the people were welcoming and after the drug ring was busted, everything was even better. Another part of the world was made a better place._

_JJ was about to sit down on her couch when her cell phone started ringing. She sighed deeply before picking up the phone._

''_Jareau.'' JJ greeted as she put down her glass of water._

''Hey, it is Nash. I have a new assignment for you.'' _Derrick Nash said from the other side of the line._

''_Are you kidding me? I just came home. Not that I am not thankful what you have done for me in the last three years but I just came back from Mexico, sir.''_

''I know, JJ. But the CIA requested you for this assignment. I tried to give it to someone else but they looked through your entire history with us and they were impressed with you.''

''_CIA? Okay. Where do they need me? I will be on my way in five minutes.'' JJ said as she looked at her suitcase that was still packed._

''They expect you in DC within three hours. The head of the unit will meet you there. One of our analysts is mailing the information to you as we speak. This is a terrorism case, JJ. It will be your first and it definitely will not be easy. Be careful!''

''_I will be. Thank you, sir.'' JJ said and she hang up the phone afterwards._

_JJ put her phone on the coffee table. She grabbed some clean clothes and she quickly took a shower before she was going to leave. She took her suitcase after she got out of the shower and she left her apartment._

_Washington, DC…_

_The black SUV pulled up in front of a suburban home. JJ stepped from the SUV. She was wearing her comfortable skinny jeans with a white blouse and a blazer over it. She made her way through the front yard and she was stopped by a man in uniform._

''_Agent Jareau. I am with Interpol.'' JJ said as she showed the man in her badge._

''_Agent Jareau?'' a man asked from behind her and JJ turned around immediately._

''_Yes. I am Agent Jareau.'' JJ said as she shook the man's hand._

''_Hey, I am Agent Hawkins. Leo Hawkins. Call me Leo. Most people call me by my first name.'' Leo said and he took a quick look at JJ._

''_Hello, it is nice to meet you. You can call me JJ.'' JJ said easily._

''_So, you must the Interpol agent that my boss requested for this one?'' Leo asked._

''_Yes. My supervisor, Derrick Nash, told me that I was requested by the CIA to liaise on this case and to work together. Are your people inside?''_

''_Yes, they are. Follow me. I will introduce you to the rest of the team. I think we will be stuck with each other for some time.'' Leo said as they walked inside the house._

''_I believe so too.'' JJ said as she looked around the house._

''_Are you familiar with the case yet?'' Leo asked._

''_From what I understand there isn't much of a case yet, is there?''_

''_No, not yet. We got a call this morning, saying that neighbors heard loud cracks coming from this house. MPD took a look inside and they found five dead bodies and the supplies to make a bomb. From what we found we can suggest that they didn't start making it. One of the victims is an Iraqi terrorist. His name his Zainab Jahmir. He has been on our wanted list for years. His death means that there is someone bigger behind this sleeper cell. They are either new or they haven't acted for years. The thing that concerns us the most it that one of the bodies is an American. His name Jack Hollister. The other victims were from Afghanistan or Iraq. We need you to stay in contact with other countries and we could also use your thoughts.'' Leo explained as they walked through the entire house._

_JJ and Leo finally made their way into a room where five other men were standing around the supplies that were supposed to be used for the bomb. JJ stepped in between them and she looked at the scene._

''_It looks like we are dealing with a sleeper cell.'' JJ stated after she was done looking around._

''_Why would you say that?'' one of the men suddenly asked her. All eyes turned to JJ and she suddenly noticed the hostility of the man that asked her the question._

''_These are the exact same supplies that a terrorist cell used three years ago. A bomb was found in New-York and it consisted of the exact same parts. And it has the same signature. This terrorist cell has probably been spreading over the past years and they are planning on doing something big. They probably killed these five man because they didn't need them anymore. They were just pawns in the bigger picture. There is someone larger at play here.'' JJ answered._

''_Nice theory.'' the man said._

''_Thank you.'' JJ said politely._

''_It wasn't meant as a compliment.'' he said and JJ ignored his arrogance. She had worked with people like him before and she had gotten used to it._

''_Team, I would like you to meet Agent Jareau. She is from Interpol. You can call her JJ.'' Leo said._

''_JJ, these are Agent's Alan Fox, Dale Steele, Dean Thornton, Antonio Gonzales and our arrogant agent Nathan Atkins.'' Leo said to introduce everyone._

_They all shook hands. JJ took a look at Nathan and she knew immediately that he was the stubborn one from the group. He was extremely attractive but he was probably going to be hardest person to work with._

_After JJ walked outside she felt someone coming up from behind her, so she turned around immediately._

''_What are you still doing here?'' Nathan asked._

''_I am working with your team. Why are you so bothered by me?'' JJ asked curiously._

''_I don't know. You just don't look like an Agent.''_

''_Why don't I look like one?''_

''_Well, you are too hot to be working for Interpol. Plus, you look way too young.'' Nathan commented and JJ had to laugh._

''_Fist of all, flirting doesn't work with me. I am not attracted to guys like you. And my age is none of your business.'' JJ said and she started to walk away from him._

''_You will find me attractive one day! Believe me! I will get you there!'' Nathan said to JJ as she was walking away._

_JJ heard his comment and she couldn't help but laugh. He seemed pretty sure of himself and JJ was going to live it once she could proof him how wrong he was._

* * *

JJ reminded herself where she was. She got lost in her memories a lot. Some memories were good to remember and others were too hard for her. Her life wasn't the same. Everything had changed. She had lost so many people who meant the world to her. For now she needed to think if she was going to take James' offer to work for the CIA and Interpol again. She knew she wanted justice for the past but she also knew it could take years before she finally was going to get justice for everyone that died in back then.


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N: This is a short chapter. I am sorry. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Back in the game**

Hotch went back to his hotel room after he left JJ's apartment. He closed the door behind him and he groaned out in frustration. It was in the middle of the night but he couldn't sleep or think. His mind kept going to the blonde that was doing her best to get away from him. Hotch knew JJ had gone through something and he couldn't stand the fact that he didn't know what happened to her. Everything he felt ten years ago was rushing back to him. All the feelings and everything that happened back then were back in his mind. He never imagined to feel so lost as he did now. He finally dropped onto the bed and he closed his eyes.

Hotch woke up around 8 am and he quickly made it to the bathroom to take a shower before going back to work. He changed into a clean suit when he came from the shower. He left the hotel room to meet the team for breakfast. He walked through the hallways when his phone started ringing. He took a glance at the number and he didn't know it but he picked up because it could be important.

''Hotchner.''

''_Hello, Agent Hotchner. It is James Carter. We met in the hospital after JJ was attacked.''_

''Hello. Did something happen to JJ?'' Hotch asked him with a worried tone in his voice.

''_No, Jennifer is doing fine. I wanted to let you know that Jennifer and I will be at the police station in an hour. I have convinced her to talk to you but you can't make it public record. She wants to help you catch the killer but her name can't be named.''_

''Of course, sir. I will make sure that everything will be handled discretely.''

''_Thank you. I will see you soon. Bye!''_

''Bye.'' Hotch said and he put the phone into his pocket. He was relieved that JJ had decided to talk them. He wanted to catch the unsub but he also wanted to know what happened during the attack.

After the team ate breakfast they went to the station. Hotch had already given everyone their orders. He wasn't doing anything because his mind wouldn't rest. He was sitting in the conference with the rest of the team. They were all looking through files. Hotch left the room to get some fresh air. It was like he couldn't breathe when he was around people. He quickly took the emergency exit and he sighed out deeply once he was outside.

In the meantime JJ and James were stepping from the car and they started to make their way towards the building.

''Are you sure about this, JJ?'' James asked because he wanted to know for sure that JJ wasn't doing anything because she felt obligated.

''No, I am not. I just don't want a killer to keep killing women like me. No matter how messed up I am, I will allow people to die because I am too stubborn.'' JJ replied as she stopped in her tracks.

''You are not messed up, JJ. You went through hell. There is no one who expects you to get over it so fast.'' James said.

''I know but the entire unit was affected by it. It wasn't just me.'' JJ said and she felt a shiver go up her spine as she thought about everything.

''I know, JJ. But you were there. There is no one who can even think about what you went through. I am really proud of your recovery. I never thought that anyone could recover as quickly as you did. You were diagnosed with PTSD and look where you are now, JJ. You seem to be getting better with every single day.''

''I don't know. I have been trying hard but I feel like all the work I have done in the past was all for nothing. I really hope things will be different in the future once I get back to work again.'' JJ said and she saw James smile at her comment.

''You are coming back? You want to take over the investigation? You are going to head the unit?'' James asked excitedly.

''Yes, I have decided to come back. I don't want to let the unit down. I will not stop until we finally have some justice for what happened. We all need it.'' JJ said and they finally walked into the station but James stopped her.

''Here, I have this for you.'' James said as he handed JJ her gun and badges.

''You knew I would do it, didn't you? And why do I need two different badges?'' JJ asked surprised.

''I did know. Your loyalty lies with the agencies, I know that. And you have two badges because you are officially working for CIA and Interpol. In the past you had a badge but I thought you could use two. It is better because sometimes they will not let CIA enter and then you can use your Interpol badge.'' James explained.

''Okay. When am I supposed to be back in DC?'' JJ asked.

''We want to restart the investigation in three weeks. We haven't been investigating without you.''

''Okay, I will be there. Let's do this first.'' JJ said as they walked inside.

Hotch saw JJ walking inside and he ran towards them to greet them. He was able to catch up with them while they were about to searched for weapons.

''Agent Jareau!'' JJ said as she showed her badge to let them know her weapon was cleared.

''JJ!'' Hotch said from behind her and she saw her spinning around.

''Agent Hotchner, it is nice to see you again.'' JJ said with a fake smile on her face.

''JJ, take is easy.'' James said to warn JJ before she was going to get angry again. He didn't know about JJ's past with Hotch but he could definitely feel the tension between the two of them.

''Are you ready for this?'' Hotch asked.

''Yes. Show me the way.'' JJ said as she followed Hotch into the station.

The three of them were quiet as they walked into the conference room where the rest of the team was sitting.

''Team, I would like you to meet JJ and James Carter. JJ and James, these are SSA's David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Dr. Spencer Reid and you met Emily Prentiss yesterday.'' Hotch said as everyone shook hands.

''Nice to meet you all.'' JJ said kindly. They all seemed like nice people to here but she wasn't there for chitchat. She wanted to help them to catch a killer.

''Do you mind if I consult on this case? I would like to be here for the entire case.'' JJ said to Hotch.

''No, that is fine.'' Hotch said to JJ.

''Well, it is time for me to leave. JJ, I will see you in DC in three weeks. Bye!'' James said and he walked away.

''We would like to talk to you about what happened when you were attacked by the unsub.'' Emily said and JJ gave her a friendly look. She knew she wasn't acting reasonable in the hospital and she had been acting weird around the brunette agent when her anger was only focused on Hotch.

''Of course. Where do you want to talk?'' JJ asked.

''It doesn't matter. We can go into another conference room.'' Hotch said because he was going to be the one to ask the questions.

''Fine.'' JJ said and she started to make her way back into the bullpen.

''Morgan, I want you to contact Garcia and ask her if she found anything yet. Reid and Rossi, I would like the two of you to work up a geographical profile of the unsub's attacking zones.'' Hotch ordered and he saw Emily looking at him when she didn't get an order from him.

''Prentiss, I want you with me while we ask JJ the questions. I want you to jump in when it gets too personal.'' Hotch said as he walked out the conference room. He was mentally preparing himself for the conversation. It wasn't like he was nervous. He just didn't want the team to find out about his past with JJ. He wasn't ashamed of it. He just didn't want them to think that he was doing something unfair to Haley.


	23. Chapter 22

**A/N: Another chapter. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, samcarter1980, jenny crum and 14hpgirl19!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Back on the job  
**

JJ followed the two agents into a private room. She sat down in a comfortable chair and she sighed deeply. For some reason she was nervous. She didn't have any nightmares from the attack but her shoulder was still hurting. She looked at Hotch's eyes and she suddenly felt herself calm down. He had the same affect on her as he did in the past. His eyes still looked the same. But as she was looking at him she couldn't help but think how he broke her heart. She knew it would be hard for her to ever trust him again. It didn't matter in what kind of capacity. JJ looked at the two agents in front of her and she waited for them to ask a question.

''Should I just tell you what happened?'' JJ asked impatiently.

''Sure, when you are ready.'' Hotch said to JJ and he saw a moment of pain flash through her eyes. He thought JJ was acting weird because she was attacked by the unsub.

''I was walking down the street around 11.15 pm and I felt like someone was following me. I turned around and I saw no one, so I kept walking. A few minutes later I turned around a corner because I knew for sure someone was following me. I tackled him and at first I thought I made a mistake.'' JJ explained and she took a deep breath before she was going to continue.

''Take is easy, JJ.'' Emily said kindly as she sat down next to the blonde.

''I am fine. This is a piece of cake.'' JJ said to Emily. It wasn't the attack that made her afraid. It was the fact that she thought someone else was following her. In the past two and a half years a lot had happened and JJ knew that she wasn't safe until justice was going to be served. The fact that it wasn't safe for her was proofed to her months ago.

''He suddenly jumped me and he had me pinned down on the ground. I was able to free myself but he was able cut me with the knife. I was able to get up and then he pulled a gun. He came towards me and pushed me against the wall. I broke his knee to get away from him. He fell to the ground and I escaped but I did get shot in the process.'' JJ said as she gently pushed down her shirt to show them her shoulder.

Hotch eyes focused on the shoulder immediately. He remembered how he used kiss her shoulder when they were in bed together as she laid in his arms.

''Does it hurt?'' Hotch asked.

''No, it is just a little sore.'' JJ replied.

''Could you describe the unsub to us?'' Hotch asked because it could mean that they could catch the man who had killed five women.

''Yeah. If I were you I would look into men that came into the ER's with a broken left knee.'' JJ said to help them.

''Prentiss, tell Garcia to narrow her search down to men with a broken left knee and he looks like…'' Hotch said but he stopped because JJ hadn't given him the description of her attacker.

''I would say he was about 5'9. He has blonde hair and he is about 45 years old. He was wearing jeans with a black coat.'' JJ said to sum up the description.

''Okay. I will inform Garcia.'' Emily said and she left the room.

''Narrow it down?'' JJ asked.

''Yeah, we figured that a Interpol or CIA agent could easily get away from someone because you need to be able to defend yourself. Did anything else happen during the attack? He didn't assault you?'' Hotch asked because he needed to know why JJ was so on edge.

''No, he didn't. He tried to when I was on the ground but I was able to get away from him in time.'' JJ said and she rose from the chair. She wanted to walk out of the room but Hotch stepped in front of her.

''JJ, what is going on with you? Are you mad at me?'' Hotch asked.

''Am I mad at you? Really? You want to ask me that?'' JJ said angrily as she turned around to walk to the other side of the room. The last thing she wanted was to talk to Hotch about her personal life.

''JJ, I am…'' Hotch tried to say but he was interrupted.

''Sorry? Your main concern is if I am mad at you? Why should I be mad?'' JJ said and she stopped for a few seconds to catch her breath.

''Am I mad at you for breaking up with me? For shattering my entire world? Or am I mad about all the broken promises?'' JJ continued.

''JJ, please!'' Hotch pleaded.

''I am not mad at you, Aaron. I am mad at myself. I was mad at myself. I was mad because I put all my trust in you and you betrayed me. I was mad at myself for crying over you. Am I mad at you? No, I am not. I was crushed because I never really knew you. But I have moved on.'' JJ said and she stormed out of the room before he could say anything else.

Hotch followed her out the room and he saw her walking into the conference. He saw her sit down next to Rossi. Hotch sat down across from her while he was trying to get eye contact with her but she didn't look at him for a second.

''Did your analyst find anything?'' JJ asked the team.

''No, not yet. She is looking into it.'' Morgan replied.

''Can I ask you a question?'' Reid asked JJ.

''Sure.''

''Did he say anything to you during the attack?'' Reid asked.

''Uhh, yes he did. He said something about not leaving him again. And that I was going to pay like all the other bitches.'' JJ answered.

''Okay. This tells us that the unsub is lashing out because someone left him in the past. That was probably the stressor for killing those other women.'' Rossi said.

''Hotch, I think we are ready to give the profile.'' Morgan said.

''Yeah, you guys go ahead. I have a call I need to make.'' Hotch said and the entire team walked into the bullpen.

Only Hotch and JJ were left in the conference room. The tension kept building and they both stayed quiet. Hotch didn't like the tension at all and he was saved when his phone started vibrating. He quickly picked it up and he sat down in another chair.

''Hotchner!'' Hotch greeted with his grumpy voice.

''_It is the queen of all knowledge! I think I found the unsub. He was in the hospital last night and he was treated for a broken knee. I called the hospital and he left during treatment. His name is Ray Halden. His wife filed for divorce about two months ago.''_

''That is great, Garcia. Can you send the address to my phone? We need go.'' Hotch said quickly and he was already walking towards the rest of the team to let them know what was going on.

''_Yes, but it are two addresses. Be careful! Bye!'' _Garcia said and she hung up the phone.

Hotch walked into the bullpen where the local police was gathered around. He knew they didn't need the profile anymore because they knew who the unsub was. This was going to be one of the first cases that they solved in one day. He knew it was only because JJ got away from him unharmed.

''We found the unsub. I have the addresses. Get ready to go!'' Hotch ordered and he started to make his way towards the parking lot. He forgot about JJ until he saw her leaning against one of the SUV's.

''Stay here!'' Hotch ordered.

''You can use the help. You need to split up between two separate locations. I will even come along with you. You can keep your eyes on me at all times.'' JJ said to try an convince him.

''Fine. Put on a vest!'' Hotch ordered and he threw JJ one from the SUV. Hotch turned around to face the rest of the team as they joined around one of the SUV's.

''Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss, take the first location. Reid, JJ and I will take the second. Be careful. This unsub isn't going to surrender easily, even though he is injured.'' Hotch said and everyone followed his orders immediately.

JJ took a seat in the back of the SUV while Reid and Hotch were in the front. Her eyes stared straight ahead the entire time. This was going to be the first raid she had done in a year. She didn't feel nervous about it at all but she knew she needed to keep her head in the game. JJ jumped from the backseat once they arrived in front of a small home. It looked abandoned but that didn't mean that there wasn't anyone inside.

''Reid take one of the officers with you. JJ and I will take the back.'' Hotch ordered and they ran towards the house.

JJ followed Hotch to the back of the house and she stepped behind him when he was about to knock on the door.

''Ray Halden, FBI!'' Hotch said as he knocked on the door.

There was no answer. Hotch kicked down the door and JJ followed him inside. There was no light on in the house. It was dusty and dark and it was hard for them to see anything. JJ slowly nodded to Hotch when they stopped in front of a door. Hotch opened the door and JJ followed in behind him. She suddenly tripped over a tripwire and she fell to the ground. She saw the unsub appear behind Hotch when he turned around to help her up. JJ picked up her gun and she pointed it at the unsub as he pointed the gun at Hotch's shoulder.

''JJ!'' Hotch said while he stayed calm and he saw the fear appear in her eyes. He looked at her and he tried to get her to calm down.

''Ray Halden, FBI! Put down the gun, now!'' JJ yelled at him when he didn't let the gun drop to the ground.

''Put yours down!'' Ray yelled back.

''I can't do that, Ray!'' JJ said and she tried to let Hotch know that he needed to kick the unsub in the knee. Her eyes met his and he followed her eyes as they landed on the unsub's knee. Hotch tried to kick backwards but the unsub picked up the communication between JJ and Hotch and he pointed the gun to his head.

''Don't make a move or I will shoot his head off.'' the unsub threatened.

JJ was praying that back-up was coming. The nerves were starting to paralyze her and she felt like she couldn't move. Her gun was still pointed at the unsub. She took one more look in Hotch's eyes and she saw his concern.

''Let him go, Ray! You can have me instead!'' JJ said loudly because she didn't want Hotch to get hurt because of her. No matter how much he had hurt her in the past, she still didn't want him to suffer.

''No! Put down the gun! Now!'' the unsub yelled.

''That is it? You need to push women around. Your wife left you because you weren't good enough. If I was her I would have left you to. I mean, look at you! I can't help but laugh.'' JJ said to get his focus on her.

Hotch understood what JJ was doing and he was waiting for the moment when the unsub had all his focus on JJ instead of him.

''Shut up! Bitch!'' the unsub yelled loudly.

Hotch took that exact moment to give the unsub a kick and he stumbled backwards but he didn't fall to the ground. JJ shot the unsub when Hotch was out of the way. The unsub fell to the ground and he was dead before he hit the floor.

JJ held her gun down next to her and she suddenly felt a stinging pain in her chest. She knew exactly why she had the pain in her chest but she didn't want anyone else to know. She leaned against the wall behind her and her hand went to her chest.

''Are you hurt?'' Hotch asked as he ran towards JJ when he saw her hand on her chest. It looked like she was in real pain and he wanted to help her.

''I am fine.'' JJ said quickly.

''Let me see!'' Hotch said as he moved closer towards JJ. His hand was already going to her chest but JJ pushed it away.

''Show it!'' Hotch said with a forceful tone.

JJ looked at him with the tears stinging in her eyes. She had already unbuttoned part of her blouse to get to the pain. Hotch's hand reached her blouse and he gently pushed it to the side. He could see two scars just under the ring that hang around her neck and they were just above her top. He knew exactly what those scars were. He had seen it before.

''JJ, are those…?'' Hotch asked but he couldn't finish the sentence when he thought about what happened to her.

''No!'' JJ said quickly as she started to button up her blouse. She also took a few steps backwards to get away from him.

''JJ, why do you have two gunshot scars above your heart?'' Hotch asked and he saw JJ shaking her head.

''It doesn't concern you, Aaron. Please, just leave it alone!'' JJ pleaded.

''No, I will not leave it alone. You are hurt. When did this happen to you, JJ?''

''It doesn't matter. I am not even allowed to tell you anything. The missions I went on are all classified. Leave it alone! I am warning you!'' JJ said and she finally walked out of the room once Reid and the cops walked in.

JJ made it towards the SUV and she climbed in the backseat. She grabbed her phone and she dialed a familiar number.

''_Carter.'' _James said to greet JJ.

''Hello, sir. It is me. The case with BAU just ended and I would like to know if we can restart the investigation sooner.''

''_You can do it but that means that part of the unit will not be there. The choice is yours, JJ.''_

''No, I will wait. I want the entire unit to be there once we start the investigation again. Thank you, sir.''

''_I understand. Are you okay?''_

''Yeah, I am fine. We just caught the killer.'' JJ said.

''_That is great. Well, I will see you in three weeks. Take care of yourself and don't push yourself to hard, JJ.''_

''I will not. Thank you. Bye!'' JJ said and she hung up the phone. She put it back in her pocket and she was startled when there was a knock on the window. She looked outside and she saw Hotch standing with the worry on his face.


	24. Chapter 23

**A/N: Another chapter. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, samcarter1980 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 23: A second love**

JJ stayed inside the car and she turned her gaze to the front. She didn't want to talk to him. Everything was messed up in her life and Hotch was the last person she needed. The person she needed most was gone. She lost him. JJ wasn't dealing with the loss that she had suffered because she had a lot of things to think about. Her entire world changed in a single second. Her world literally got blown up. Her mind went back to her time with him. He was the person that taught her to love again. He taught her to live again. He was the one that took all of her pain away.

* * *

_**Two and half years ago…**_

_It had been an entire week since JJ started working with the CIA. She had been staying at a hotel during the night. She had no idea how much longer this case was going to take but her Interpol Supervisor informed her that he thought it could take a long time. They were dealing with terrorism. It was a sleeper cell that was working off the grid for years. Several agencies had been trying to figure out who the leader was and how big the group originally was. She knew that this case could take a long time but she had no idea if she was going stay on the case. She could be ordered back in Chicago at any time. She knew her job could take her all over the world. It had been exactly what she signed up for. Traveling the world was everything she always wanted but the job sometimes took a lot of her. She had been in places she never thought she would come. She had done every kind of assignment imaginable._

_JJ was sitting behind one of the desks while she was trying to figure out where they the supplies from the bomb could have come from. JJ wanted to track them through supplies while the other people were taking different ways. JJ was about to take a zip from her coffee when her name was being called._

''_Jareau, Fox, Steele, Thornton, Gonzales, Atkins and Hawkins. My office, now!'' James Carter ordered. _

_The entire team stood up quickly and walked into Carter's office. Most of them took a seat but JJ kept standing as she saw Carter looking seriously. She had been impressed with his team since the first day she started. They worked hard and they trusted each other._

''_I have been in meetings with my superiors the entire week and it has been decided that we are officially going to open an operation for this case. All the other agencies that have been tracking this sleeper cell will be pulled from it. We will be the only ones who are going to be working this operation, except for JJ.'' James explained._

''_What do you mean, sir?'' JJ asked with astonishment._

''_I have talked with Derrick and we have decided to keep you here until this operation is finished. We need you. Your skills are greatly needed. From now on you will be a CIA agent and you will officially be a part of this team.'' James replied and he saw that JJ was still looking surprised about the news._

''_God, we don't need a girl.'' Nathan said bluntly._

''_Thank you, Atkins!'' JJ said with smile on her face. Nathan had been teasing her the entire week. There was a attraction that she couldn't deny much longer. She had never felt that kind of a physical attraction before. Well, she had when she was eighteen but that was a time she wanted to forget. Nathan was the kind of guy who only wanted a casual relationship and nothing more and that was exactly what JJ was looking for as well._

''_I have been assembling an entire unit for this operation. The unit will consist out of thirty people, excluding me. I will be the supervisor for this unit and Hawkins will head it when I am not available or when you are in the field. We will have seven field agents. You will be the seven field agents. We will have three linguistics experts, four technical analysts, three accounting experts, two data scientists, three security experts, two geography experts, two management experts, two medical examiners and two forensic experts.'' James summed up to let them know who would be in the new unit._

''_This operation will be classified. All the files and all the evidence will be protected from access from the outside. The name of the operation will be Operation Pax.'' James continued._

''_Pax stands for peace. It is Latin.'' JJ commented._

''_Yes, you are right. I want everyone to go home. We will start the official briefing tomorrow.'' James said to his team and they walked out without saying a word._

_JJ followed all the guys into the large bullpen. She stopped at her temporary desk to pick up her purse and personal belongings. She had been working non-stop in the last week and she was exhausted. She couldn't wait to go to sleep. She knew her life was going to be a lot busier when the operation was going to start._

_JJ turned around to walk away when Nathan was standing in her way. He looked at her with a smirk on his face and JJ couldn't help but smile. His smile was infectious and she liked to look at him. _

''_You know, I figured out how old you are!'' Nathan said as he walked next to JJ while they were making their way out of the bullpen._

''_Really?'' JJ asked._

''_Yes, you are 25 years old. Well you are in the middle of 25 and 26 but you are officially 25 years old.'' Nathan said happily._

''_That is correct. And how old are you, Atkins?'' _

''_I am 27. I will be 28 in a couple of months. Am I too old for you?'' _

''_Not at all, Atkins. Not at all.'' _

''_Call me Nate. Everyone calls me Nate. And I wouldn't want a gorgeous girl like you to call me by my surname.'' Nathan said as they walked onto the parking lot._

''_I am gorgeous, huh?'' JJ asked happily._

''_Yeah, you are. Do you have a boyfriend?'' _

''_No. I am absolutely single and I plan to stay that way. And you?'' JJ asked curiously._

''_The same as you. Would you like to come to my place? We can have some drinks.'' Nathan suggested._

''_Sure!'' JJ said in agreement. She liked him. He was always acting to the point and he was honest with what he wanted._

_Nathan insisted that JJ could drive along with him and that he could bring her to the hotel when she wanted. The drive was filled with talk about their years with the agencies and their experiences on the job._

_They quickly made their way to the apartment once they arrived in front of the building. Nathan held the door open for JJ as she walked inside and he closed in behind once he was inside as well._

''_This is amazing.'' JJ said as she looked around the spacious apartment. It was a large apartment with matching furniture._

''_Thank you.'' Nathan said as he took JJ's coat._

_JJ leaned against the wall behind her as she watched Nathan while he was walking towards the kitchen and he suddenly stopped in his tracks._

''_Do you want a drink?'' he asked softly._

''_I think we both know that I am not here for a drink.'' JJ said and Nathan started walking closer towards her. He put his hands on her waist as he leaned into her body._

''_Good. I was hoping you would say that.'' Nathan whispered into her ear._

''_I am usually not the girl who does this.'' JJ mumbled as she was pushed further against the wall._

''_I don't do this either.'' Nathan said._

''_Really?''_

''_Yeah. Why?''_

''_You just seem the like the kind of guy that has a lot of ladies around him.'' JJ said with a smile on her face, hoping that he didn't mind her thoughts about him._

''_I am the exact opposite.'' Nathan stated._

''_Bad relationship?'' JJ asked when she saw a familiar expression appear on his face._

''_Yeah. How did you know?''_

''_Let's just say that I have been there.'' JJ said, thinking about her relationship with Hotch that ended after six amazing months. _

''_We should forget about those and just have some fun tonight.'' Nathan said as he leaned closer towards JJ. Their lips met in a hungry kiss while their hands were exploring each other's bodies._

_The next morning…_

_JJ woke up in two strong arms the next morning. Her entire body felt sore and she knew it were the consequences of the late night before. She hadn't had a night like that in a really long time. She looked at Nathan and she couldn't help but smile. His brown hair was messy and his arms were still around her body. She softly pinched his arm and he was awake immediately._

''_Morning!'' Nathan greeted as he looked at the blonde in his arms._

''_Hey!'' JJ said seductively as she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before she was making her way off the bed. _

''_We should do that again some time.'' _

''_I agree.'' JJ said as she started to put on her clothes. She quickly made her way into the bathroom to take a shower._

_Nathan was sitting in his bed and he couldn't stop smiling. It had been a long time since had liked someone so much. He certainly had his relationships but he knew that he and JJ could have a lot of fun together. The night before was definitely proof of that._

''_What are you smiling about?'' JJ asked as she reappeared into the bedroom after taking a shower. She was wearing the same clothes as the night before. She knew she had to change before going to work._

''_I am smiling about you. You are amazing!'' Nathan said as he walked closer towards JJ in his boxers._

''_You are pretty amazing as well but I have to go home because I need to change. I will take a cab and I will see you at work in an hour.'' JJ said quickly and she was about to walk away when she was pulled back by Nathan._

_He leaned forward and he gave her a kiss before he let go of her again. JJ smiled while she left the apartment._

* * *

''JJ!'' Hotch said as he had opened the door to the SUV and it looked like she was dreaming about something.

''JJ!'' Hotch said louder and she finally looked at him.

''What?'' JJ asked angrily as her mind was still going over the memory. She could still feel exactly what she felt back then. It was so new to her to start a relationship again and she could still remember the excitement she had back then.

''How are you?'' Hotch asked as he looked her in the eyes.

''When are you going to stop asking me that? I am so sick of you asking me all these questions. I will say it one more time! I am fine!'' JJ said angrily and she wanted to get out of the car but Hotch was once again in her way. She knew he wasn't going to let her go before she was going to say simething. But JJ also knew that she was never going to tell him anything. He was the last person she wanted to talk to about her past.

''How can you be so different, JJ?''

''Really? We are going there again. Let me tell you something, Aaron. I am not different. You are just seeing another side of me because I am not your girlfriend.'' JJ said.

''JJ, can we please talk about things? I don't want things to be weird between us.'' Hotch suggested because he couldn't stand JJ's anger.

''There is no us. I am going back home now and I will never see you again.''

''Aren't you moving to DC in three weeks?''

''How do you know that?'' JJ asked because she didn't even tell him that she was going to move to DC and that she was going to work there.

''I overheard you and Carter talking. Look JJ, I want things to be civil between us. And I would like to see you again. As friends.'' Hotch said because he knew he wasn't going to be able to keep his mind of the blonde once he got back to DC. He had never stopped thinking about JJ. She was in his mind every single day and he wondered what life would be like if he made a different choice ten years ago.

''I can't be friends with you, Aaron. I don't want to see you. I can't do it. I am sorry. I will take a cab. Take care, Aaron.'' JJ said and with that she was walking away like she did ten years ago. But this time she didn't feel as hurt as she did the last time. This time her feelings weren't about Aaron Hotchner. She was proud of herself that she didn't let him get to her anymore. It was the one thing she had been working on for years and it worked.

Hotch looked at JJ as she walked away. He wanted to stop her. He wanted to go back in time and do the same thing. He just couldn't believe that she was walking out of his life again but he knew it was his own mistake and he had to live with that for the rest of his life.


	25. Chapter 24

**A/N: This is a long chapter. I hope you guys don't mind. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, samcarter1980 and hotchfan1!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 24: An undeniable past**

The team went back to the station after the unsub had been caught. They were all glad that the case was already over and that they could go back home. Hotch was the only one who didn't feel happy. They were helping the police with some last details and Hotch was debating what to do. Their plane was leaving in two hours. He knew JJ told him to leave her alone but he felt like he needed to see her again. JJ had changed and he didn't like it at all. He wanted to know what happened in her past. He wanted to know what made her different and he knew JJ was never going to tell him personally. So, he needed to find another way. He knew there was only one other way. He picked up his phone and he dialed the familiar number.

''_Penelope!''_

''Hey, Garcia. I need to know if you found anything on Jennifer Jareau.'' Hotch said, hoping Garcia was able to find anything.

''_Well, when I tried to dig up some information from Interpol and CIA, the records were all sealed. I don't know if you really need to know the information but I could hack into the databases and I can make sure they will not trace it back to the FBI.''_

''Do it, Garcia. Call me when you have the information.'' Hotch said and he hung up the phone. He rejoined the team in the conference room and he tried to keep his mind away from the blonde that was giving him mixed feelings.

* * *

One hour later…

Hotch was driving to JJ's apartment. Garcia called him and gave him some information but she couldn't get more because all the files on JJ were encrypted. He knew there had to be a real reason for that but for now he had enough to get her to talk. At least that was what he hoped. He was leaving in an hour and he knew he had to be back in time to meet the team at the airport because they could have questions about his whereabouts. Hotch had no idea what was driving him to go see JJ again. He knew he still felt something for her. He just didn't know if he still loved her or if he was believing that his past with JJ was better than it actually was. He needed to know if he was imaging everything because his feelings were driving him completely insane. He had a family back home and he couldn't have feelings for someone else. He wasn't supposed to. He made a choice ten years ago and it had to be the best choice. But was it really? Was breaking up with JJ the best choice? That was exactly what he needed to find out.

He finally pulled up in front of the building. It was 3 pm and he had no idea if JJ was home. He made his way up to her apartment and he started knocking on her door. There was no answer for a few minutes. Hotch turned around when a neighbor came out of the next-door apartment.

''Ma'am, I am with the FBI. Do you know where Jennifer Jareau is?'' Hotch asked after showing his badge.

''She is probably at Jimmy's bar if she is not at home. It is five minutes away with the car.'' the neighbor replied.

''Thank you.'' Hotch said and he left the building to go to the bar.

The bar was exactly six minutes away and he sighed deeply when he was walking down the street after he had parked his car. He walked inside the bar and he saw JJ immediately. She was sitting at the bar with a glass of water in front of her. She was talking with an older man and she was laughing loudly when he said something. Hotch's eyes checked out her entire body. He thought she looked even better than when she was younger. She had changed into a skinny jeans and a simple shirt. Hotch gathered up the courage and he walked to JJ.

JJ looked to her side when she heard footsteps. Her face went from happy to anger in a second when she saw that Hotch found her. She couldn't believe that he kept following her around.

''What are you doing here?'' JJ asked as he sat down next to her.

''I still need to talk to you.'' Hotch explained.

''I can't do this.'' JJ said and she walked away from him.

Hotch followed JJ into a bathroom. He wasn't going to give up. He could see and feel her pain. It was in her eyes and even in her body language. She wasn't the joyful person he used to know. She was serious and cranky. He saw the old JJ for a few seconds when he walked into the bar. Hotch was pulled from his thought when JJ stepped backwards.

''When are you going to leave me alone?'' JJ asked.

''Why do your records say that you are an art dealer?'' Hotch asked bluntly without giving JJ any space.

''It is my cover. I need it when I travel to another country but I barely use it.''

''You barely use it? You have been to Greece, England, Mexico, Italy, Russia, Denmark, China, Ghana, Afghanistan and Ira…'' Hotch said but JJ interrupted him.

The last name was exactly what JJ didn't want to hear. It reminded her of the pain and struggle she was living with. It reminded her of all the tragedy she suffered in her life. It was the place where everything was taken away from her.

''Don't!'' JJ said loudly and she pushed Hotch away from her.

''What happened in Iraq, JJ?''

''Nothing! Absolutely nothing!'' JJ yelled and the tears were streaming down her face.

''You are lying. It is written all over your face. It is in your eyes.''

''Stop! Stop, asking me about my past. I can't do it. I can't think about it.'' JJ said and she punched Hotch against his chest with her fists when he was coming closer again. JJ tried to push him away but he kept standing in the exact same spot as JJ was putting her grief out on him. She lost her energy after one more punch. She finally stopped and her head fell against his chest. She felt Hotch wrap his arms around her. She had never cried in anyone's arms in years. When she was with Nathan there was no reason to cry because she was happy but now everything was different. She couldn't stop the tears.

''I am here, JJ.'' Hotch whispered softly as JJ kept sobbing into his chest. To Hotch it felt like time hadn't passed when he was standing there with JJ in his arms. But for JJ it was different. She knew she could never trust him but that didn't keep her from feeling safe in his arms. As she kept crying all the moment of happiness and tragedy flashed through her mind. All of them. Not one was left out.

* * *

_**One year and two months ago…**_

_It had been sixteen months since JJ started working with the CIA. In that time a lot had happened. Her new team was becoming like a family to her. The guys on the team were like her brothers, except for one. Nathan was the exception. He and JJ started a relationship after their one night together. They had grown extremely close and they fell in love with each other. They were together for sixteen months. They were happy together. They could talk for hours and they could stay silent as well. JJ and Nathan had been partnered up when they would go out in the field. Their relationship stayed professional when they were at work. Everything was falling into place. JJ couldn't be happier. She had finally found love again. She trusted Nathan with her heart. It took her a long time to let him in but once she did, she knew he was worth the risk. _

_JJ and Nathan just ate dinner and they were in the apartment where they were living together. They were leaving for Afghanistan the next day. The unit had been tracking down the terrorist cell and they picked up chatter that suggested that they were in Afghanistan. The seven field agents, including JJ and Nathan were going to Afghanistan. JJ and Nathan were going to pose as a married couple on vacation. Every single member of the team had a cover. JJ had been undercover before and she wasn't nervous. She was just hoping that the case was going to be closed as soon as possible. But she also realized that once the case was closed, she had to be back in Chicago to work for Interpol again. The last thing she wanted to think about was to be without Nathan. He had become her life. _

''_What are you thinking about, babe?'' Nathan asked when he saw JJ sitting on the couch with a sad expression._

''_A lot. Like what is going to happen once Operation Pax is over. I would have to go back to Chicago and you would be here.'' JJ explained and she watched as Nathan kneeled down in front of her. He cupped her face with both of his hands and he put a gentle kiss on her lips._

''_It is going to be fine.'' Nathan said to keep her from panicking._

''_How?''_

''_Because of this!'' Nathan said happily as he put a small jewelry box on JJ's leg. He was still sitting in front of her and JJ looked at him in surprise. She opened the box and she saw a beautiful engagement ring inside._

''_Nate, you…'' JJ tried to say but she was cut off._

''_Listen, JJ!'' Nathan said to get her attention._

''_I am not able to make any promises to you, so I will not do that because I don't even want to break a promise I make to you. But I can promise you one thing. I promise to always love you. No matter where you are or where I am. I will love you as long as I will live. That is my promise to you. Jennifer Caitlyn Jareau, will you marry me?''_

''_Yes! Yes! I love you, Nate!'' JJ said happily as she leaned in to give him a kiss and she flew around his neck afterwards. JJ had totally forgotten about the ring. The most important thing to her was that she was happy. She was going to spend her life with an amazing man who loved her unconditionally._

_Nathan let go off JJ and he grabbed the box and he pulled out the ring to put it on her finger. He took her in his embrace again and he couldn't believe that he was lucky enough to be with someone like JJ. He was happier than he ever thought he could be in his entire life._

''_I am going to be Jennifer Atkins!'' JJ exclaimed happily._

''_Yeah, that sounds amazing.''_

''_When did you start thinking about this?'' JJ asked curiously because she had no idea that he was planning to ask her._

''_For about a month. I just wanted to do it before we were leaving for Afghanistan. It is important that you know how I feel. And once this case is over, I want to marry you. I don't care if I have to move to Chicago and join the local PD again because I would do anything for you.'' Nathan said._

''_I can't believe you. You make me so happy. I wouldn't mind to move to DC. I love you, Nate.'' JJ said and she kissed him deeply. Her entire body was tingling in happiness. Her life was coming together again. She never expected to be in love with someone after Hotch but she was. Nathan won over her heart and she knew he would never hurt her. _

_**Three months later…**_

_The team hadn't been back home for three long months. They started in Afghanistan. After two months of investigating there, they found nothing and they tracked the sleeper cell to Iraq. They left for Iraq immediately and they used new identities. In Iraq they were getting closer and closer to the terrorists and the team was optimistic. They had been in Iraq for one months and they were finally getting closer. They all couldn't wait to get back home. They were still working closely and the team was only growing closer with every single day. JJ was beginning to wonder if she wanted to go back to Interpol because she would rather stay with the CIA. She was still engaged with Nathan and their relationship was still as good. It was actually getting better and better._

_JJ was pulling up in front of a small bar in the small Iraqi town. The team met together twice a week to debrief on the status of the investigation. They all tried to see each other as less as possible because they couldn't risk to blow their covers. Nathan already went ahead of JJ because she wanted to change and take a quick shower before they were meeting the rest of the team. JJ stepped from the car and she was still far away from the bar. She started to make her way towards the bar when she heard a loud blast followed by an explosion. The force of the blast lifted her up in the air and she collided with the ground. Her ears were ringing as she was still on the ground. Her entire body was in an aching pain. JJ stood up immediately when she thought about the team, who where inside the bar during the blast. She saw that the windows of the other building were shattered during the blast. Her eyes went to the bar as she was stumbling towards it. The tears were streaming down her face. It wasn't just because of the shock but it was also because of the realization that her entire team was inside the burning building. They were inside during the blast. She didn't even noticed the shard of glass in her stomach because of the adrenaline that was pumping through her veins. She could only think about her team. JJ was about to walk towards the bar when she suddenly felt a gun pressed against her head._

''_Don't move.'' a guy said in English but his voice was barely understandable because of his accent._

_JJ knew immediately that the bomb in the bar had something to do with the terrorist cell. Her entire body was shivering. She lost her entire team in one second. She lost her fiancé. Her arms were about to be tied behind her back and JJ started to fight back. She was fighting against her own pain as she was struggling against the man who was trying to keep her under control. JJ was able to get him on the ground but she was soon surrounded by a group of ten men and there was no way she could get away from that. They put a blindfold over her eyes and her hands got tied behind her back. JJ knew exactly what was going to happen to her. She knew there was no possible way she was going to escape from them. She knew about other undercover operations into terrorist cells and most of them ended badly. Her faith had been decided the moment her team died in the blast. She didn't care what happened to her. She was already giving up._

_**Five months later…**_

_It had been five months. Five months since JJ lost the man she loved. Five months since her entire team died in a blast. In the five months JJ had given up her hope to ever be found again. The terrorist had been torturing her for information. Her entire body had become like an object for people to put their aggression on. The bruises, cuts, burns and scars were over her entire body. Every single day was a new day to try and survive. JJ hadn't given them any information. The last thing she wanted to do was risk the lives of the people that were back in DC, working on the case. JJ knew they would want to kill everyone who was working on the case and she couldn't risk that._

_JJ was tied up in a dark basement. It had been her living space for the last five months. They kept her tied up to the ceiling during the day. Her hands were cuffed above her head and her feet were cuffed to the ground. At night they would tie her up in a chair. Right now, another day of torture was starting. She was hoping that the CIA would find her. But another part of her wanted to die more than anything. She had tried to escape four times but she never got too far._

_JJ cringed when the door to the basement opened. She saw the leader, Anshu Jahmir, standing in front of the others. JJ did find out that Anshu Jahmir was the brother of Zainab Jahmir, who was found dead when JJ just started working with the CIA. She also heard a man with an American accent from time to time. JJ had tried to catch his name but there was nothing she heard. She didn't know much more about the terrorist cell._

''_Are you ready to tell me your name?'' Anshu asked with a knife in his hand._

''_I already told you. My name is Jessica Collins. I am a art dealer from the US. I was here on vacation with my husband, Steven Collins. But you killed him.'' JJ lied because she had to protect her identity._

''_You know, my sources let me to believe otherwise. You have to be CIA, NSA, MI6, Interpol or maybe even FBI.'' Anshu said angrily and the knife went into JJ's arms. She didn't even scream or flinch because she had gotten used to the pain._

''_See, and this makes me believe that you are an Agent. You have been able to survive our torture. You are really good but you will not be for much longer. I will get your name out of you and I…'' Anshu said but he stopped talking when they were gunshots coming from upstairs. _

_JJ saw that Anshu sent his men upstairs as he stayed at her side. JJ tried to struggle against the restraints but her entire body was too weak. She could barely feel her legs and arms when she tried to move. JJ heard shouts coming from above them and the door to the basement was opened with a loud pop. Anshu walked towards her and gagged her. JJ saw six men coming downstairs and she could see they had to be CIA because of their guns. She finally felt safe but Anshu pointed his gun at her and shot at her twice. She felt an aching pain in her chest. It was like her chest was about to explode at any time. Anshu fell to the ground when he was shot. JJ fell into one of the men's arms when she was released from her restraints._

''_JJ, we are here. Stay with us!'' JJ heard a voice say from above her. Her vision was going blurry._

''_We have her.'' a voice said and it was the last thing she heard before her eyes closed._

_**Three months later…**_

_JJ had been in the hospital in the three months that passed by. She didn't remember much of when she first got there but the memories she did have, were the once she wanted to forget. Doctors told her that she was in a coma for three weeks. In those three weeks she had three extensive surgeries. She had barely survived the two gunshot wounds to her chest. The doctors called JJ's case a miracle. JJ thought otherwise. She had gone through hell in the five months that she was held captive and the CIA expected her to be a mole because the terrorist cell knew the location were the team debriefed with each other. JJ had closed off. She didn't talk to anyone and her so-called therapist diagnosed her with PTSD. She had been having constant nightmares and flashbacks. She didn't want to be touched and she had been mad at anyone who would say the smallest things. JJ knew she shouldn't put her hurt on other people but she had lost so much. She didn't even have time to think about the death of Nathan and her team. The only person she talked to was her CIA supervisor. James had been at her bedside almost every day. He was the one who brought JJ her engagement ring when she asked for it. She put it on a necklace and wore it ever since._

_And now the day had arrived to go back home. JJ decided to go back to Chicago because she knew it would be too much if she stayed at her apartment in DC. Everything was going to remind her of Nathan and she couldn't live with that. She had to get back on her feet before she could take time to grief._

''_Are you ready?'' James asked JJ when she was staring ahead of her._

''_Sure.'' JJ lied. Her answers had been short. She talked as less as possible._

''_JJ, you can stay here. We can take care of you.'' James said to convince her._

''_Come on, you and the unit think I am the mole. How can I stay here when no one believes in me?'' JJ asked angrily as she looked her former supervisor in the eye. She had been put on leave. She was lucky that they didn't arrest her but there wasn't any evidence against her. But they thought JJ was the mole because she was the only one who survived Iraq._

''_JJ, I am so sorry for that.''_

''_Of course you are. I am going back to Chicago and I am going to live my messy life.'' JJ said as she slowly made her way forward in the wheelchair. Someone from the agency was driving her because she wasn't cleared to fly. JJ took one last look behind her._

''_Take care, JJ.'' James said when she looked away._

_JJ didn't say anything. She felt bitter. Her entire life was ripped away from her. The pain she suffered was more real than she ever could have imagined. Her suffering was so painful that she fainted most of the time when she was being tortured. She still had the proof on her body. She was covered in dozens of scars and she didn't know if they would ever go away again. She hoped they would. She didn't know when but she needed there to be day when she could put everything behind her. She was already hoping for that day._

* * *

JJ pulled away from Hotch. She started to fight for air. Her chest was making unsteady movements. She leaned against the wall and she dropped to the ground. Her tears were getting worse. This was the first time when she let everything flash through her mind. It was the first time when someone saw her break down. She wished she didn't but she couldn't stop it. The panic of those moments went through her entire body. She froze and it felt like she was in a haze again. She heard Hotch talking but she had no idea what he was saying.

''JJ! JJ! Look at me!'' Hotch said softly as he kneeled down in front of her. One of his hands cupped one of JJ's cheeks. That was exactly what brought her back to life. The fire that she felt when his hand touched her skin. The fire she hadn't felt in ten years was ignited again. As much as she didn't want to feel it, she couldn't help it. But her mind took over quickly.

''No! No! Don't do that. You don't get to do that.'' JJ said as she softly pushed away his hand and Hotch looked at her in surprise.

''JJ, I am so sorry.'' Hotch apologized when he realized he became too close to JJ.

''I don't know if you are because I don't trust you, Aaron. You left me hanging in the past.'' JJ said.

''JJ, I wanted to call you back then. I really did but I couldn't. I felt ashamed and stupid. It always felt like a conversation we needed to have in person. I know we can't be more than just friends but I would like to be friends, JJ. We worked together and we might work together again in the future.'' Hotch said.

''Really? I just broke down in tears and you are talking about your mistakes. Are you kidding me? I can't believe you.'' JJ said with disappointment as she rose from the floor.

''Look JJ, I care about you. I am worried about you. And you seem upset?''

''Upset? Why should I be upset? Because the man I used to look up to dumped me and didn't even give me a real explanation. Why would I want to be friends with you.''

''JJ!''

''I don't want to be your friend. I would rather go back to not seeing you at all than to be your friend. You act as if nothing happened between us but something did happen, Aaron. Think about it! Don't you dare ask me if I want to be your freaking friend.'' JJ said and she stormed out of the bathroom. She felt like she had been running since she saw Hotch again. He couldn't leave her alone for one second and it was scaring JJ. She needed space more than anything. She needed to deal with everything she went through before she was going to explode.


	26. Chapter 25

**A/N: Another chapter. Hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, DebbieOz and guest!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 25: The confrontation**

Three weeks later…

JJ had picked up her life in DC again. She moved back into her old apartment. She hadn't been there for a long time and it was still weird for her. Everything was the same. There were pictures of her and Nathan all over the place. It were the little things that could make her cry. There were little pieces of Nathan's life all over the apartment. JJ knew she had barely dealt with his dead. They never even had a funeral for the dead team members because it was too dangerous for the CIA to find their bodies and after the five months that JJ was held captive they knew there was no way of finding them. JJ had been back in DC for one week. Her last two weeks in Chicago were spent saying goodbye to her good friend Jimmy. He was one of the only person who seemed to be able to lift her up in her darkest days. She promised to call him once a week. JJ hadn't seen Hotch since her breakdown in front of him. She was relieved about that fact. He had given her mixed feelings about everything. She knew she didn't feel the things for him she used to feel. She was still in love with Nathan, even though he wasn't alive anymore. He was all she could think about when she went to bed but she always seemed to wake up with the same nightmare. She would always be back in front of that bar where her team died. That one second ruined her life. She had lost the only family she ever had in her life. She took one more chance at talking to her parents when she was twenty. She just showed up at their doorstep but her father didn't let her in. Now she didn't even know if they were alive or not. If she was honest with herself she didn't even care anymore. Her parents had become a closed chapter in her life. Just like she closed the chapter with Hotch.

JJ was walking through the long hallways of Langley. The people she had seen stopped her to let her know they felt for her. JJ didn't work with a lot of people in the CIA. She only worked with one unit. But the deaths of the agents were known through the entire CIA but no one knew where or how they had died. JJ walked around the corner and she stopped in front of the door where she hadn't been in fourteen months. Behind that door was the place where she had worked with her team. It was the place where she felt at home. JJ gathered up the courage and she finally opened the door. She saw people sitting at their desks. They were all standing up and applauding when they saw JJ. JJ gave them all a thankful nod. A lot of people came walking towards her. There were twenty-one people left in the unit. They were the people she had worked with for two and a half years but JJ also reminded herself that the possibility was big that one of them was the mole. She didn't want to think about it but she knew it was an option.

JJ turned around and she saw James looking at her with a proud face. JJ and James had always been just co-workers but after what happened they became close friends. He was still her boss but they just had a good personal relationship together. JJ made her way towards him. She shook his hand and she followed him into his office. She sat down in one of the chairs across from the desk.

''How are you?'' James asked.

''I am okay, thank you. How have you been?''

''I am good, JJ. I have something I want to talk to you about and I am afraid you aren't going to like it at all. You are going to continue to track down the terrorist but in the meantime there is no one who is looking into the mole. The entire unit thinks everyone is cleared. I know someone within the agency has to be the mole and I need people to lead a separate investigation into that.'' James explained.

''I understand. Who were you thinking about?'' JJ asked curiously.

''I was thinking about the BAU.'' James said and JJ's face turned pale.

''Are you kidding me? The BAU?''

''I am not kidding, JJ. They have a good reputation. We need them. You will be overseeing their investigation as well. You will be working together with Aaron Hotchner and his team.''

''Sir, isn't there another option. I can't do this.''

''Listen! I am your boss and you do as I say. I am ordering you to work with the BAU. I already called Section Chief Erin Strauss and she is informing them as we speak. They will not have any knowledge about the details of this operation.''

''Fine!'' JJ said angrily as she was rising from the chair.

''JJ, we need fresh eyes on this. We have a mole in this agency and as long as he or she isn't caught, you will be still at risk. I am doing this for you.''

''Right.'' JJ said.

''You will get the office at the other side of the bullpen and the BAU team can use the empty conference room. They are putting desks in there so they have enough room and privacy to work here.'' James said before JJ left.

''Okay. I have to go to inform the unit about their new tasks.'' JJ said, knowing that is wasn't going to be easy to head a unit with twenty-one people in it. Leo Hawkins was the one who did it before her and he was really good at it. JJ was only 28 years old and she was already a supervisor. She was also the only field agent in this unit and she knew they were going to need new agents.

JJ walked back into the bullpen and she stepped onto platform where all the screens were for when they were going over a new operation or a new plan. JJ sighed deeply before she was going to talk.

''Team! May I have your attention, please!'' JJ said loudly to get everyone's attention on her.

''I know we have been through a hard period. We lost six of our own last year. But that is exactly why we need to get to work. We need to get justice for the losses we suffered. I hope everyone agrees with me.'' JJ continued and she saw people shaking their heads.

''Good. I want everyone to start looking through the files that were made when I was undercover in Iraq and Afghanistan. We need to process that information before we start tracking the cell again.'' JJ said and she left the platform when everybody went back to work. JJ made her way to her office and she grabbed her things. She needed a break and she needed to talk to someone before everything was going to become official.

* * *

BAU, Quantico…

The team had a busy day that was filled with catching up on their paperwork. Hotch was working in his office and he got a call from Strauss to meet her in her office. He rose from his chair and he made his way through the halls of the building until he reached the office of the woman he almost hated. He always had something against Strauss because she was always trying to get him down in some way. Hotch knocked on the door and he didn't wait for an answer. He walked in and he kept standing in front of her desk.

''What is going on?'' Hotch asked when Strauss finally looked at him.

''Your team is put on stand down. The CIA requested the help from this team with an extremely important case. It is a case that concerns National Security.'' Strauss explained.

''Who requested our help? Who is the case agent?'' Hotch asked with astonishment.

''James Carter requested our help but Agent Jennifer Jareau is the supervisor of the unit.'' Strauss replied.

''Are you sure they requested our help? And what kind of case is it?''

''I don't know. Your team is expected to be at Langley in an hour. Someone will debrief you there. All I know that this case needs your priority.''

''Okay. I will tell the team what is going on.'' Hotch said and he left the office to get back to the team.

In the meantime JJ had arrived at the BAU because she wanted to talk to Hotch in private before their teams were becoming involved together. They needed to make some rules. JJ knew she couldn't stay mad at him once they were working together. JJ stepped from the elevator when she was at the right floor. She saw two glass doors and she was about to step into the bullpen when she saw a very familiar face. A face that she hated for the past ten years. It was the face of the woman who had broken her relationship with Hotch. JJ didn't want to pay any attention to Haley so she was walking further when she suddenly started talking.

''You!'' Haley said loudly when she recognized JJ from somewhere.

''What?'' JJ said as if she didn't know who Haley was.

''I know you from somewhere.'' Haley said as she stopped in front of JJ. Her eyes looked at the blonde woman in front of her. She could definitely not deny her beauty. Haley was never impressed by women in general but JJ did impress her.

''Yes, you do. I am Jennifer Jareau. JJ!'' JJ explained and she saw the anger appear on Haley's face.

''What are you doing here?''

''I am here for work. I am going to work with your husband's team.''

''He is my husband! I want you to stay away from him. You aren't going to get him.'' Haley said with a bitching voice.

''Let me tell you something, Haley. I don't even want him. He is all yours. I haven't thought about him in years. What the hell makes you think that I would want a man like him back? You two deserve each other!'' JJ said, knowing that she was lying when she said that she didn't think about him.

''Don't say that. He choose me because he loves me. I was always better than you. You were just a stupid little girl. You were his rebound, from what I have heard.'' Haley said with a smirk on her face.

JJ felt the anger boil inside and she wished she could hit her but she kept her anger inside. She just wanted to prove Haley that she was the bigger person in this.

''Maybe I was. I don't even care what I was to him. He can't be trusted. I hope you two are happy because I wouldn't wish you any less.'' JJ said and she was about to walk away when Haley pulled her back by her arm. JJ yanked her arm away and Haley stumbled backwards in the process. JJ turned around to face Haley and she was about to walk closer to the other woman when two arms wrapped around her waist and she was lifted up. From the cologne she knew it was Hotch. She started to struggle against his grip and he finally put her down.

''Let go of me. I just wanted to make sure that she was all right.'' JJ said when Hotch stepped in front of her to keep JJ away from Haley.

''Don't touch her, Aaron!'' Haley said with jealousy.

''It is fine. Calm down, Haley.'' Hotch said to assure his wife and he finally walked towards her.

JJ was already walking into the bullpen because she didn't want to stay in the same space Haley was in. She walked up towards the desks and she noticed the team. She decided to walk towards them to get to know them a little bit. JJ recognized them all immediately. Reid was the genius, Morgan was the hot guy, Emily was the kind woman and Rossi was the renowned author, JJ reminded herself. And Hotch was… She didn't have any words for Hotch. He wasn't her friend but he was going to be her colleague for god knows how long and she needed to find a way to work with him.

''Hey JJ!'' Emily said kindly as she rose from her chair to meet the blonde halfway.

''Hey. How are you?'' JJ asked as she stopped in her tracks.

''I am fine. Thank you. What are you doing in DC?'' Emily asked surprised. She had no idea why JJ was in DC. She only knew that JJ worked for Interpol in Chicago.

''I got transferred here. I am heading an old taskforce. It is actually weird to be back here.'' JJ said honestly.

Hotch was able to get Haley into his office while JJ and Emily were having a conversation. He closed the door behind him and saw that Haley was really angry. He couldn't believe that Haley and JJ attacked each other.

''What the hell is that slut doing here?'' Haley asked angrily.

''Haley! JJ is everything but a slut.'' Hotch said and he saw that she became even angrier.

''What? Are you actually defending her?''

''No, I am not. I just don't think you should call her names.''

''Why is she here? Is she here for you? Do you love her?'' Haley asked with a desperate tone in her voice.

''We have to work together. It means nothing, Haley. I choose you ten years ago and I don't have any regrets about that. I love you. JJ and I just have to work together. Nothing is going on. I promise.'' Hotch lied. He did have feelings for JJ and he did have regrets about his choice ten years ago but how was he supposed to tell JJ that. Or how was he supposed tell that to his wife?

''I trust you, Aaron. Just come home tonight.'' Haley said and she walked out of the office. Hotch followed her because he wanted to know why JJ was at the BAU. He saw that JJ was standing around the desks of his team members. It looked like they were having fun together and Hotch didn't expect it to be any different because the JJ he used to know was friendly and kind to everyone.

''JJ, can I talk to you in my office?'' Hotch asked when he was standing on the catwalk.

''Of course.'' JJ said after she had turned around. JJ made her way up the short flight of stairs and walked into his office. His office was impressive and JJ took in everything that was inside. She was startled when his door was slammed shut with a loud thud. She spun around and she saw Hotch with an angry expression on his face.

''What did you say to Haley?'' Hotch asked angrily.

''What are you saying to me?'' JJ asked with extreme disappointment in Hotch.

''Haley was extremely upset, JJ. You must have said something! And why did you attack her?''

''Really? That is what you think about me? Your wife is a master manipulator, Aaron. She broke us up ten years ago and even now she can convince you. I will tell you what I told her. I told her that you two deserve each other and that she can have you because I don't care anymore. I don't want you. I am over this.'' JJ yelled angrily.

''JJ, calm down. I am sorry. I didn't know what happened. I am sorry for Haley's behavior. You don't deserve to be treated that way.''

''No, I don't. Did you already get the request?'' JJ asked.

''Yes, we will be at Langley in an hour. You can debrief us when we get there. We can talk later, JJ. I have to finish some paperwork.''

''Okay, I will see you soon. Goodbye!'' JJ said and she left his office. She couldn't believe what happened with Haley. JJ never wanted to see her. She didn't want to see Hotch but her life had turned into events that she never wanted to happen. JJ started to live life day by day since the explosion in Iraq. There was no other possible way for her to survive in any other way.


	27. Chapter 26

**A/N: I am so sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I had a really busy day but I wanted to update. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, Classical E. Centric and Twilightangell!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 26: A confession of Love**

JJ was sitting in her office while she was shifting through the paperwork. She froze when she opened a file and she saw photos of her injuries. The photos were taken when the CIA had found her in Iraq. JJ didn't remember anything from that time because she had been unconscious for a long time. JJ went to the next page and all her injuries were catalogued. It was like a never ending list of groceries. Her eyes stayed on the file. It was like she was made from ice. Her body didn't move a single inch. The photos brought back all the pain she had felt back then. The tears were stinging in her eyes when there was a soft knock on her door. JJ put the file back on her desk and she stood up to open the door. She opened the door to see Hotch standing on the other side. She stepped aside to let him in.

''Come in.'' JJ said softly as Hotch stepped inside her office.

''Thank you.'' Hotch said as he waited for JJ to close the door. JJ sat down in one of the chairs in the corner of her office. She saw that Hotch kept standing and she was about to stand up when he gestured her to stay in the seat.

''We need to lay down some ground rules, JJ.'' Hotch said and he turned around and he suddenly noticed the files on her desk. He could see part of JJ's face on one of the photos. Her neck was covered in strangulation marks and her face was covered in bruises. Hotch wanted to look at it longer but JJ had made her way to her desk and she stacked up the files.

''I agree with you. I don't want this to be personal. We are only colleagues. I will call you Agent Hotchner from now on. I don't mind if you call me JJ because my entire unit is used to calling me that.'' JJ said.

''Okay. You can call me Hotch because everyone calls me that. I wish we could just be friends, JJ! We have a past. I know that. I am not asking for more.''

''I can't be more. I will not take that risk. I just don't trust you and I don't know if I ever will.''

''Why can't you just try it? I am getting so sick of this. Why is it so hard to put you trust in someone? Is it because of what I saw on that picture?'' Hotch asked with irritation present in his voice.

''It isn't hard for me to trust someone. It is hard for me to trust you. And don't you dare ask me about that picture. It is my life, Aaron! No matter what you want to know, it will always be mine. You have not right to treat me like this.'' JJ yelled angrily. It was like she and Hotch could only fight and she was getting sick of it. She wanted to go back to her old life. She wanted to deal with the past and move on but she knew that was never going to happen as long as Hotch was around.

''I do, JJ! I still lo…'' Hotch tried to say but JJ interrupted him.

''Stop! Don't do that! You have a wife and a son. How could you do that to them? You made a choice ten years ago and you have to live with it, Aaron. You can't go back in time to change it. It is over. It happened.'' JJ said as she stepped backwards.

''Do you remember the time we kissed? I mean really kissed, JJ! I remember that my body went weak. I can still feel your lips on mine. When I think about it, I want to kiss you so badly. I would give up anything for you, JJ. I made a mistake in the past but I am not going to make it again. I haven't been there for you in ten years but that doesn't mean that I stopped loving you. I still love you. I do! Just give me a chance!'' Hotch said, knowing that everything he said was true.

''It is too late, Aaron.'' JJ said with the tears stinging in her eyes.

''What do you mean?''

''I met someone else, Aaron. I moved on two and a half years ago when I met someone else.'' JJ replied.

''Where is he? I don't see anyone! Give me a chance!''

''No! No! You don't get to ask me for another chance. I was eighteen years old and I knew you were the love of my life. You made dozens of promises to me but you never kept one of them. Nate made one promise to me and not a dozen. He told he would always love me and I know that was the truth. I don't trust you, Aaron. I never will trust you again.''

''Nate?''

''Yes, he was my fiancé.'' JJ said with a lot of hurt.

''Was?''

''He died eleven months ago, Aaron. We were engaged for three months and then he died. My life changed in one second. He is dead and I can't do anything about it. I miss him with my every heartbeat. He was my entire life.'' JJ said as a tear fell.

''JJ, I am so sorry. I didn't know. I am so sorry.''

''I know you are. Don't throw away your family, Aaron. I lost the most important person in my life. You have a family and you are willing to give it up. Don't make another mistake, especially not for me. I am not worth anything.'' JJ said sadly.

''Don't say that. You are everything! You are amazing, JJ. Don't sell yourself short.''

''It doesn't matter what you say. I am not going to trust you with my heart again. Not ever. It is just the simple truth. I am sorry. I can't do it. I could never betray Nathan. He was the love of my life.''

''Okay. Just know that I will always be here for you. Every second of every day.''

''Thank you.'' JJ said and another tear fell. Her face was filled with hurt. Her entire expression told Hotch that she was telling him the truth. It made him feel defeated that he had hurt JJ like that. He never wanted her to live with so much pain. He wished he could be the one to help her but he knew he wasn't going to be that person to her.

''I have to debrief your team now.'' JJ said as she walked out of her office. She never expected to get that kind of a confession from Hotch. It made her question everything she felt. It made her heart ache for him. His eyes told her everything. They were the same. He was the same person but she wasn't and she knew deep down that they wouldn't be the same together. She had been through too much and Hotch was married. JJ wasn't going to be a person to break up a family. She wouldn't dream of doing that no matter what she felt for the person she was involved with.


	28. Chapter 27

**A/N: Another short chapter. Once again, I am sorry. My life is getting busier. I don't know if I will be able to update soon but I will try. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, DebbieOz, jenny crum and samcarter1980!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 27: Another end**

JJ was walking into the bullpen as fast as she possibly could. The confusion was getting to her. Hotch told her things she didn't want to hear. He was married and she couldn't believe he would ever want to betray that. She didn't like Haley but that didn't make her less angry at Hotch for saying what he had said. She wasn't going to be with him. She still wasn't over Nathan and she knew it would take a long time before she was ever going to be over him. To JJ it seemed impossible. She had never been the type of person to let things get to her but sometimes there was no way to shut things out. She needed to focus on the job ahead of her. She had so much to do. She needed to get justice for her team. For all the losses the unit had suffered.

JJ stepped into the conference room where the BAU team was sitting at a table. JJ barely knew them but she could see they were like a family. She knew herself what it was like to be willing to die for someone. She had been close with her own unit. She trusted them with her life. Now she had to do it all alone but a part of her knew she could do it. JJ finally faced the team after she sat down. She waited until Hotch appeared into the room as well. JJ felt uneasy the moment he walked in. What he said to her wasn't normal and JJ wasn't feeling good about it at all.

''Thank you all for coming. I know everything is happening very sudden. My supervisor, James Carter, requested your help on one of our cases.'' JJ explained and she sighed deeply before she continued.

''This case needs our priority. Six months ago we lost six of our own agents during an operation. We believe we have a mole within our unit. It is going to be your job to profile the unit and to look into their personal lives without their knowledge. The details about this operation will not be shown to you. This case concerns national security and the people who work on it directly can be in danger. We are doing this for your safety.'' JJ explained and she looked around the team to see if they had any questions for her.

''How do you want us to indentify the mole when we don't know details about what happened?'' Hotch asked seriously.

''I don't know. Ask my boss. He requested you on this. You guys are supposed to be the best. Just show me that but stay away from this case. Someone will bring you a list of all the people that work here. You will also get to see everyone's personal files.'' JJ said and she walked out of the room.

The team turned their faces towards Hotch. They all looked at him like he was completely insane for what they had to do.

''Hotch, how can we possibly find a mole when we know nothing about the case?'' Morgan asked curiously.

''I don't know. I will talk to JJ again.'' Hotch replied.

''What the hell is her problem?'' Rossi asked suddenly and Hotch's expression turned immediately.

''She has a lot on her plate. I will talk to her. I promise. Let's just get to work on this.'' Hotch ordered when someone was walking in with boxes of files. He had no idea what was behind it all but he was going to find out. He needed to find out what had changed JJ so drastically. He rose from his chair and he made his way back into the immense bullpen. He saw JJ talking to several people. He could see she was giving them orders. It looked like the people respected JJ. He knew JJ had to be an amazing agent to be leading a unit at such a young age. Hotch was about to descend the stairs when his phone started buzzing. He quickly picked up to answer the random number.

''Hotchner.'' he greeted professionally.

''_Mr. Hotchner, you are speaking with Dr. Flores. Your wife was just in a car accident. You don't need to worry. She is fine. I just called to inform you.''_

''Oh my god. Where is she?'' Hotch asked in a panic and he was already halfway through the building.

''_She is in DC Medical Center.''_

''Thank you. I will be there soon.'' Hotch said.

He quickly made his way through the building and onto the parking lot. He jumped in his car and drove away as fast as he possibly could. The panic was going through his entire body, even though the doctors told him that Haley was fine. He had lost his brother in a car crash and he didn't want to lose Haley. He couldn't lose Haley. As much as he loved someone else, he still loved Haley. And she was also the mother of his son.

Hotch walked inside the hospital and a nurse told him where he had to go. He walked into the emergency room and he saw Haley sitting on a bed. Hotch was about to walk in further when a man suddenly appeared next to her. He leaned down to kiss her on the lips and Hotch quickly walked in to push him away from Haley. Hotch was shocked to see who it was when the man turned around.

''Mike?'' Hotch asked angrily.

''Aaron, please it was nothing.'' Haley said softly.

''What is going on here?'' Hotch asked with astonishment as he looked at the man who used to be his best friend. They grew apart after Hotch and Haley got back together.

''Oh, not much. How have you been?'' Mike asked with a smile on his face.

''Why were you kissing my wife?'' Hotch asked as the anger was starting appear on his face.

''Aaron! Don't! It was a mistake.'' Haley said but Hotch barely listened because he kept looking at Mike.

''Well, your wife has been cheating on you for years Aaron. You see, it started when I first met Haley when we became roommates at Georgetown. Haley broke up with you to start a secret relationship with me. That was actually why I was barely in our dorm. She cheated on you again about three months after you got back together in New-York.'' Mike said happily.

Hotch walked closer towards Mike and he punched him in the eye with his fist. Mike stumbled backwards and Hotch was about to punch him again when Haley stepped between them.

''Aaron, don't! Can we talk?'' Haley asked with the shame on her face.

''No, we can't. Everything has been a lie. I can't believe you. I have to go.'' Hotch said and he left the hospital room. He kept walking until he reached his car. He felt sick. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He had never seen it. He had been betrayed for ten years. The woman he married and had a child with, had been cheating on him for years and he never noticed anything.


	29. Chapter 28

**A/N: This chapter will continue tomorrow. The questions is: will they or won't they? I wasn't planning on this so soon but I have a lot more up my sleeve before everything will be okay. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, Bitey11, samcarter1980 and Classical E. Centric!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 28: The moment**

Hours had passed since JJ got home to her apartment. Her first day of work exhausted her. It had been a hard day. The worst was that she felt like she was in a strange place. The people who used to make it her home were all gone. There was nothing she could do but that didn't keep her from feeling empty inside. It didn't keep her from thinking about how different her life could have been if they never went to Iraq. When she was younger she thought Interpol could give her the life she always wanted. It actually gave her the exact opposite. Her life with Interpol changed who she was. It took away her innocence. It took away who she was. JJ knew she had changed. She knew it really well, but she didn't want to think about it.

JJ dropped down to the couch with a cup of coffee in her hand. She took a zip and she put on the TV. She was wearing her shorts and a simple tank top. Her eyes stared at the screen, but she wasn't watching. Her mind was going somewhere else. She was thinking about Hotch. He had disappeared. She didn't know if she was supposed to call him. A part of her was getting worried about him. She just didn't want him to think that she was still in love with him.

JJ was pulled from her thoughts when the doorbell rang. She quickly made her way to the door of the large apartment. She looked through the peephole and she saw Hotch standing on the other side. He was soaking wet and his expression was blank. JJ quickly opened the door for him and she let him in.

''Aaron?'' JJ asked as he stared down at the floor.

''Aaron!'' JJ said a little louder when he still wasn't responding to her. JJ closed the door behind her and Hotch was still standing in the exact same spot as before. JJ walked towards him and she pushed his jacket of his shoulders because it was wet.

''What happened?'' JJ asked with worry in her voice. He finally looked at her and it scared JJ.

''I am so sorry for what I did to you, JJ. I should have known that you were the love of my life. I should have never let Haley break us up.''

''You broke up with me. Haley isn't the only reason, Aaron. You made the decision. Where is all of this coming from?'' JJ asked.

''Haley has been cheating on me for ten years. It started when I went to Georgetown. She has been having an affair with Mike. I just can't believe how stupid I have been.'' Hotch said while he took both of JJ hands in his. He gently caressed her hands.

''I don't know what to say. It honestly isn't a surprise to me. I thought Haley was a manipulative woman from the first time I met her.''

''Are you serious?''

''What? What do you want me to say, Aaron? You told me you loved me. You were practically telling me that you wanted to cheat on Haley. What is the difference? You cheated on me. Don't tell me what I am supposed to say or think.'' JJ said angrily.

''What the hell happened to you that made you so cold? What is wrong with you?''

''I don't want this conversation to be about me. I am sorry that Haley cheated on you.'' JJ said sincerely. Her anger was still apparent. Talking to Hotch was hard for her. He suddenly reappeared into her life and he kept demanding things she wasn't willing to give him. He kept making her doubt everything.

''What is it, JJ?'' Hotch asked again.

''Why are you so cold?'' he asked again when JJ still wasn't answering his question.

''How can you be so cold JJ? What happened to you? Where is the JJ I used to know? Where did she go?''

''Stop, Hotch! You have no right. The JJ you used to know disappeared. She is gone!'' JJ snapped at him and she paced around the room. She suddenly stopped and she stepped in front of him to continue.

''The JJ you used to know vanished eleven months ago. I saw six of my team members get blown up in Iraq. They were my family, Aaron. They meant the world to me. Six people! They left behind their families and friends. And I lost my heart and soul when I was being tortured in Iraq for information. I barely survived it. I was diagnosed with PTSD after I had been in the hospital for three months. Is it such a miracle that I am not the same? Who do you expect me to be? Am I supposed to be the joyful eighteen year old you met back then? I will never be her again, Aaron. My life isn't the way it used to be. It changed completely and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about it now. I have to live without the love of my life! Not because of a choice I made! But because of something that happened. I didn't get to make a choice but you did. If I could go back I would tell Nate how much I loved him and how much I still love him. It is that simple, Aaron! Nothing will ever be the same. My scars are literally proof of that.'' JJ said angrily as a tear fell down her cheek. She saw that Hotch was stunned at her admission. He finally knew what it was that changed JJ. He couldn't stand to see JJ so hurt.

''I understand I lost the right to know all these things a long time ago. I am so sorry, JJ. I never expected that you went through that. I just…'' he said but he stopped when he didn't know what to say anymore.

''You what?''

''Do you remember what it was like when we were together?'' Hotch asked softly as he stepped closer towards JJ.

''Of course I do. I remember every single second of it. It was the best time of my life. You made me feel so special. I thought you and I were going to spend the rest of our lives together. When you gave me the eternity ring I thought you felt the same way about me.'' JJ said with the tears stinging in her eyes.

''I did. I do. I took you for granted. I don't know what we are going to be in the future, but I want to be something to you, JJ. I know I hurt you before. I know that I broke many promises to you. I know you are exhausted, JJ. Just let me be there for you.'' Hotch said as he softly squeezed JJ's shoulder. It was the first time he was able to touch JJ without her pulling away. A part of him was afraid that JJ was never going to turn around.

''I am not exhausted. I am broken. I am torn apart. I haven't slept in months. I can't put the memories out of my mind. I am going crazy but I need to stay strong because an entire unit is counting on me to get justice for the loss we all suffered. I have been walking around like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode. I have been keeping it all inside and I can't do it anymore.'' JJ said and she knew she was on the verge of another break down.

''Do you want me to stay?'' Hotch asked when he saw JJ cry. Her body leaned against the wall behind her. Hotch walked closer towards JJ and he cupped her cheek with his hand. His thumb traced along the lines of her lips. He felt JJ open her mouth slightly. There was still no answer and the intensity in her eyes made his walls come crumbling down. He was about to lean in to kiss her when she pulled away and walked to the other side of the room. She turned her back towards him and she quickly grabbed her cardigan from the couch to put it on her. JJ wrapped her arms around her body and she froze when she heard Hotch walking closer towards her.

''No! Don't!'' JJ said softly while she was still standing in the same spot.

''JJ?''

''JJ!'' he said with a low tone in his voice.

The tone of his voice ignited something in JJ. It brought back all of the feelings of his hands on her body. Something is pulling her like a magnet. She turns around and runs towards him. Her lips crash onto his as her hands land in his dark hair. He responds immediately while his hands go behind her back. Hotch pinned her against the wall with his entire body. There was a neediness in their touches and kisses. They weren't acting slow and gently. No, it was like a fire. Hotch didn't know if he was supposed to stop or not. Everything inside him told him to go on but his mind was telling him to stop because JJ was extremely vulnerable. In the end his body was winning. He lifted her up and her legs wrapped around his body. His lips found her neck and he softly started nipping at her neck while she arched her back. He knew it had to be the heat of the moment. He knew JJ wasn't thinking clearly. Every moment he could get with her, was a moment he was going to take. He had missed her too much to let her go now. It was like he was brought back to life the moment she kissed him.


	30. Chapter 29

**A/N: Next chapter! Hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum, guest, Rid3ThatChocob0, Classical E. Centric, guest, JD, Bitey11 and samcarter1980!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 29: A shocking lead**

The pants and moans brought shivers through JJ's entire body. It was like something pulled her in without her knowing it. This kiss was so different than all the others. It was filled with lust and desire. She was the one who initiated the kiss. A part of her knew that what she did was wrong. She was brought back to reality when his lips moved down to her chest. His hands were pulling up her shirt towards her bra. He put JJ back down on the ground and he saw her scars on her stomach and it was scaring him. He couldn't believe what she had gone through. She looked down at her stomach and she quickly pulled her shirt down. Hotch walked towards her and he covered her body with his. He started to unzip his pants in the meantime. JJ was getting lost in the kiss again but she froze when she heard the sound of his clothes falling to the floor. Hotch lifted her up again and his hands were about to take off her shorts when JJ knew she couldn't do it. She knew it was wrong. She was letting him use her and she didn't want to let that happen again.

''Stop! Stop!'' JJ said softly.

''Okay!'' Hotch said and he put her back on the ground. He quickly pulled up his pants and boxers. He saw that JJ had already turned around to face away from him.

''This isn't right.'' JJ whispered softly as she turned around again.

''Why not?'' he asked.

''Because of everything. Because I don't love you. I still love someone else, Aaron. This can't happen again.'' she stated and she saw the disappointment on his face.

''You might be able to love me again. Why can't we try this?''

''You are still married and I am not ready. I don't trust you. This is wrong on so many levels.'' JJ explained.

''Sometimes I wish I would have never met you, Aaron. My life is even more complicated with you in it. We will not be together again. I am sorry that I led you on. I didn't mean for that to happen.'' JJ said honestly.

''JJ!''

''Aaron!'' she whispered softly. He didn't say another word and he left the apartment. JJ cringed slightly when the door closed. She let herself drop down to the couch. She took the ring that hang around her neck in her hand. Her life had become such a mess. She wished she could go back in time and change everything. She wanted to go back to tell Nate how much she truly loved him. JJ felt like she had never told him enough. She wished she could have one more second with him. It was never her choice to lose him, but Hotch did made the choice to lose JJ. That was something she still hadn't forgotten and she knew it was going to take more than a kiss and a few words before she forgot it.

* * *

Hotch stepped into his car and he sighed deeply. He drove away and his mind kept going to JJ. He was reliving every moan and touch. He knew JJ had every right to send him away. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do. He knew his marriage to Haley was over but he still had to think about Jack. His son was the most important thing in his life and he was going to do everything he could to be there for him.

Hotch pulled up in front of his house and he knew Haley was home when he saw that the lights were on. He knew he could expect a conversation but he wasn't waiting for it. The one thing he wanted was the thing he was never going to get back. He knew JJ was probably never going to change her mind. But what was he supposed to do now? That questions kept running through his mind as he walked through the door of his house. He saw Haley sitting on the couch in the living room. He took a beer from the fridge and he sat down in a chair across from his wife. He could see she was sorry but that didn't make him hurt any less. The woman he had known for half of his life had betrayed him. He was never going to forget that.

''Aaron?'' Haley asked softly when she saw her husband sitting in the chair.

''I am so sorry!'' she said softly.

''Why? Ten years?'' he asked in amazement because he was still having a hard time to believe everything.

''I fell in love with him, Aaron. You know I always wanted a family and I knew Mike could never give that to me so I tried to be with you but I missed him and it just kept happening.'' Haley tried to explain but Hotch huffed at her explanation.

''So you settled for second best?'' he asked angrily and he slammed the beer onto the coffee table. He rose from his chair and he started to walk through the living room.

''I did and so did you!''

''What?'' he asked as he froze in his tracks.

''You chose me ten years ago but I know you always loved JJ more. I could see it in your eyes. I could feel it every single day and I had to live with that.''

''That is not an excuse. You came to me ten years ago. I thought I made the right choice but I didn't. And because of that I lost the only person who ever loved me for me. Not for my job, money or status. You are just a manipulative bitch!'' Hotch said as he started to walk upstairs.

''Where are you going?'' Haley asked.

''I am going to our apartment in the city and I am going to take my son with me!'' Hotch yelled angrily. He walked into Jack's room and he started packing a bag with everything he needed. He also packed up some clothes for himself. He took Jack with him while he heard Haley screaming at him for not walking away. She kept asking him to stay but he didn't care about what she wanted. He didn't want to see her.

* * *

Langley, offices…

JJ was fidgeting on the large couch. She felt extremely uncomfortable. She was always uncomfortable in that place. It was the place where she felt like she was forced to tell the truth. It was the place where she told one person about her nightmares. It was the place where she was supposed to feel comfortable but she never did.

JJ finally locked eyes with her therapist. She had been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now. Fran was the same therapist she had been seeing when she was just recovering from her injuries she suffered in Iraq.

''JJ, what are you thinking about?'' Fran asked analytically.

''I really don't know.'' JJ answered.

''I haven't seen you in a while and I would like to know how you have been.'' Fran stated.

''I know and I appreciate the concern but my ordered psyche evaluations are already over. I don't need to be here anymore.''

''Really? Than what is keeping you awake at night? Is it a nightmare or a certain someone?'' Fran asked, knowing that JJ was struggling with something.

''I am sleeping fine. Thank you! I don't need to be here anymore….Uhh..I have to go!'' JJ said when she received a 911 text from one of her team members. JJ quickly walked out of the office and she opened the door. She was walking so fast that she didn't notice the other person and she collided against her.

''Ohh! I am so sorry, blondie!'' Garcia apologized.

''No, it is my fault. Hi! I am Jennifer Jareau. JJ!'' JJ said as he extended her hand.

''JJ! I heard about you. You must know where my babies are. Sorry! I am Penelope.'' Garcia said as she shook JJ's hand.

''Are you looking for your team?''

''Yeah.''

''Follow me!'' JJ said as she started walking through the building. JJ pointed Garcia towards the conference room where the BAU team was working. She quickly made her way towards her own team to figure out what was going on.

''Kay, what is going on?'' JJ asked as she reached the desk of Joan Kay.

''Carter just got a call from the Iraqi government. Well, we think it is the government but it can also be one of the terrorists.'' Joan replied quickly.

JJ turned around and she saw Hotch standing on the platform. She knew he probably came out when he heard all the commotion. JJ turned back to her team.

''Webb, Kay, Baker and Clay, I want you three in my office immediately.'' JJ ordered and she made her way towards her office. She saw that James was standing in her office and she knew it meant that it was important.

''Sir, what is going on?'' JJ asked with concern.

''They want to release the bodies of our agents.'' James stated.

''What is the problem with that?''

''They said that they only found evidence of five bodies after the explosion!'' James explained.

''Five?'' JJ asked, knowing that six agents died. She knew it could mean that one of their agents survived and that he could be the possible mole.

''Yes.''

''Are they sure?'' JJ asked for reassurance.

''Yes!'' James replied.

JJ felt her heart racing. One of her team members could be alive. That one person could be the mole. JJ started to feel confused and she just couldn't believe it.


	31. Chapter 30

**A/N: Another one. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, glenda lefeber and samcarter1980!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 30: Another lie**

''Five bodies?'' JJ asked again to be make sure she heard it right.

''Yes. You know what this means, right?'' James asked her and he saw her starring off in the distance.

''I think so but I don't want to believe it.''

''I know. But we need to know who died and who survived the explosion. They want to trade the bodies for immunity for everyone who is involved in this operation.'' James explained.

''Immunity? Are you serious, sir?''

''I am thinking about it.''

''You can't do that. What if the mole is right here? What then? We need to close this operation. I want them all behind bars.'' JJ said angrily.

''JJ, I understand where you are coming from but there is so much we can do.''

''You don't understand. I was tortured by dozens of men in Iraq. No one will ever understand that. Justice needs to be served. And I thought the CIA could do anything they want to do!''

''Calm down! It is going to be your choice, JJ. But I can intervene when I don't agree with your actions. I know this is hard to believe. We lost six of our own and we just found out that one of them might be alive. We need to investigate with caution. This can be dangerous for you. We know they are still looking for you and your safety is my priority.'' James explained.

''I think I should go back to Iraq with some field agents and make sure that we get the bodies back here.'' JJ suggested.

''You want to steal five bodies from Iraqi soil?''

''Yes. Our ME can identify the bodies.''

''You know that is going to be a suicide mission, right? They will have extra security and we don't even know where the bodies are.'' James said because he didn't want JJ to risk her own life again.

''I don't care. I can even go alone. We need to find if this is the truth.''

''I am not letting you go in alone. You are becoming obsessed with this. I know all of this is hard on you but we need to do this the right way. I am going to ask the BAU to profile our six dead agents. They might be able to find something we never saw.''

''You can't involve them in this, sir. They would need to know everything about the operation. You can't risk that. I don't want them involved.'' JJ said angrily. She was getting frustrated. Everything was getting harder by the minute and she just wanted to leave an run away as fast as she possibly could.

''It is not your choice. It is mine. I want you to debrief them on the entire case right now. Explain what we expect from them. I will see you afterwards to talk about the rest.'' James ordered and he walked out of JJ's office.

JJ was still standing and she was frozen in her spot. She had told most of her past to Hotch but it was still hard on her. The suffering was inside of her and it wasn't going to leave that easily. She knew a part of her was never going to forget what happened.

She walked into the conference room where the team was looking through stacks of paperwork. She could see they were all concentrated on their work. She knew they were good but it didn't feel right to involve them.

''Hotch?'' JJ asked while she was still getting used to calling him that. She saw him turning around with a surprised expression.

''Yeah.'' he said quickly.

''I need to talk to you and your team. Carter ordered me to involve you in the case.''

''Okay.'' Hotch said and he sat down along with his team.

JJ took a remote and she opened files to photos and dozens of documents. She knew the debriefing was going to take a lot out of her. She just needed to remind herself to stay focused and to not let anything get in the way of what was truly important.

''Two and a half years ago I was still working for Interpol. I was ordered to liaise with the CIA's terrorism division on a case. They found supplies to make a bomb. The same supplies were found three years prior in New-York. The signatures and materials were the exact same. There were also bodies found in the house. One of the bodies belonged to a terrorist named Zainab Jahmir. Our worst concern at the time was that we also found an American victim going by the name of Jack Hollister. We looked into his personal history and we found nothing. He was married with a wife and two sons. We figured he was forced to do something against his will. He was a respected army veteran and there was absolutely nothing in his past that would suggest foul play.'' JJ explained and she sighed deeply before continuing. She had showed the photos of the supplies for the bombs and also photos from the bodies.

''I started working with the CIA. An operation was officially opened. It was named Operation Pax. The unit consisted out of thirty-one people back then.'' JJ said.

''Is it the same unit as now? I mean, I have only seen twenty-five people including you.'' Reid said because he had already counted the amount of people that had been working in the bullpen.

''It is the same unit as now but we lost six of our agents in Iraq. Alan Fox, Dale Steele, Nathan Atkins, Dean Thornton, Antonio Gonzales, Leo Hawkins and me were field agents. They died eleven months ago when we were in Iraq. It took us sixteen months to track down the cell. We finally left for Afghanistan and from there we traced them to Iraq. We were there for an entire month before it turned out to be bad. We were supposed to have a briefing in a local bar in the town we were staying at but the bar got blown up. I was the only one who survived. I was taken away and I was held for five months. In those five months I was questioned about the operation and the agency. They knew everything about me but I kept playing dumb. They shouldn't have been able to know anything about the operation because only the unit knew about it. That is why we expect a mole in this unit. We believe the mole sold our location in Iraq.'' JJ said and she wanted to sit down because she didn't want to say more.

''Today we got a call, saying that only five of our agents died in the explosion. If one of the agents survived, the chance is big that he is the mole. We want you to look into the files of the agents that were supposedly in the explosion. I want you to start with Nathan Atkins!'' James ordered after he had interrupted JJ.

''What? Why?'' JJ asked.

''No reason.'' James said and he left the conference room again.

JJ left the conference room as well and she left the office and she quickly walked into a restroom. She locked the door behind her when she was inside. She leaned against a wall as she fell to the ground. She rested her head in her hands. A tear fell down her face as her entire body started shaking.

* * *

Hotch was asked to see James Carter in his office in the meantime. Hotch went in reluctantly because he and James didn't start off really well. Hotch sat down in a chair across from his large desk.

''What is going on?'' Hotch asked.

''We need to talk about Jennifer, Agent Hotchner.'' James replied.

''What about her?''

''JJ has personal involvement when it comes to this operation and especially when it comes to Nathan.''

''Yeah, I know. I know she was engaged. I saw the ring and I have heard the way she talks about him. She still loves him.''

''He was the world to her. He made her a different person. I saw her change in front of my eyes. JJ can't know about what I am going to say next. Do you understand?''

''I understand but I am not going to lie to JJ. She might be beginning to trust me again and I am not willing to compromise that.'' Hotch replied.

''You don't have a choice. You could lose your job when you break procedure.''

Hotch stayed silent after James' threat. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to lie to JJ in any way. He just didn't know what to do about it.

''The five bodies that were found all belong to men who were older than thirty-five.''

''So?''

''Nathan was twenty-nine when the explosion went off. He is the only who can be alive.''

''Okay. What do you want me to do with this information?'' Hotch asked.

''Look into his files. Look into everything about him but I don't want JJ to know because she will not believe that he could be the mole. I need her on the other part of the case.'' James explained.

Hotch nodded and he left the office. He started walking through the hallways when he needed to shake his irritations. He stopped in front of the restroom when he heard sobs coming from the room. He tried to open it but it was locked.

''Leave me alone!'' a familiar voice said.

Hotch knew it was JJ. He knocked on the door to make her open it. JJ finally opened the door when he didn't stop knocking.

''JJ!'' Hotch said softly when he saw her in tears. He sat down next to her and he leaned against the wall as well.

''It doesn't happen very often for people like us.'' JJ said out of the blue.

''What?''

''Love!'' JJ answered.

''No, it doesn't''

''When we are lucky enough to find that person we just have to lose them again. It is not fair. I just doesn't seem fair to me.'' JJ said while the tears were drying up.

''It will never be fair, JJ. What happened to Nathan isn't fair. What I did to you wasn't fair. What Haley did wasn't fair. Nothing in this world is fair.''

''I know.''

''Haley and I are over. I left her. Finally!'' Hotch admitted.

''Good for you. You deserve better. I know what kind of a guy you can be. I know you deserve more than Haley gave you.''

''Thanks.'' Hotch said and he finally stood up. He gave JJ a hand to help her up.

''Are you okay?'' Hotch asked one more time.

''Yes, I am. Let's go.'' JJ said and she opened the door to go back to the bullpen. She had so much to do. She needed to figure out who was alive. She needed to know. It was for her own sanity. It was the one thing she knew was going to keep her going for a long time.


	32. Chapter 31

**A/N: This chapter is longer. I hope everyone likes this chapter!**

**Special thanks to Twilightangell, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 31: Resurfacing**

Two weeks later…

Two long weeks passed by like they were an entire year. The unit was still trying to get more information on the terrorists. They had been following amounts of leads that didn't lead to anything in the end. JJ was losing her patience. Her supervisor was barely talking to her and she knew something was going on. JJ had planned a mission to Iraq that James canceled last-minute. Her hope of finding the person that was alive was immediately shattered. JJ became more and more quiet every single day. She still wasn't dealing with her own problems. The operation wasn't going anywhere and the BAU still had no idea who could be the mole. To JJ it seemed like it was all for nothing and she wanted to stop. She needed a distraction from her life. She needed to find a way to move on from everything that happened. She just didn't know how to tell her unit that she couldn't work with them anymore. The last thing she wanted was to look like someone who was giving up on herself.

JJ looked up from her desk when a sound came from her laptop. She opened her mail and she saw a message from an unknown account. JJ clicked on the link and it opened. She saw several video streams. She recognized them immediately and she quickly made her way from her office. She walked onto the platform where all the screens were.

''Carter!'' JJ yelled loudly and she saw that everyone was looking at her within seconds.

''Baker, pull up my screen and play the video feeds.'' JJ ordered.

''Clay, I want you to track the e-mail account.'' JJ said and she turned her back to face the screen. She was so caught up in the images that she didn't notice that Hotch and his team were standing right behind her.

''Play the feeds, Baker!'' JJ said impatiently.

JJ's entire face turned pale when the first video was playing. It was a recording of the bombing in the bar. JJ saw herself flying through the air. She quickly turned around because she didn't want to see the rest of it.

''Ross and Green, I want the two of you to look into the type of recordings. Morales, I want you to put all the faces into the databases. See if we can indentify anyone.'' JJ ordered. She turned around to James and she saw he was looking shocked. He knew what happened but he wasn't there. But the next video was the one that was the worst.

JJ suddenly heard her own screams. She knew exactly where that was recorded. She never knew that they taped her when she was being tortured. Her body went weak and she quickly sat down in a chair to make sure she didn't fall onto the ground.

''Stop it!'' Hotch ordered suddenly. He saw JJ slowly breaking down and he couldn't watch it anymore. What he saw on the tape was enough. He knew JJ didn't need to see it again.

''I am sorry that I have to say this but it almost seems like this operation isn't about terrorism anymore. Someone is trying to taunt JJ. It is almost as if someone wants to personally destroy you and this case is exactly what they need.'' Hotch explained.

''Who would want to do that?'' JJ asked softly.

''JJ, I want you see you and the BAU team in my office. Now!'' James ordered.

JJ followed the team into the office. JJ and Hotch where the only ones that kept standing. JJ was feeling sick. She wanted to vomit. She had no idea who would want to destroy her. She knew it was already working because she felt dead inside.

''You are off the case!'' James said as he looked at JJ.

''No! You can't do that. Not now.'' JJ said in disagreement.

''JJ, this is becoming too personal for you. You are too close to this.'' James explained.

''No, sir! I am not too close. I am involved but that doesn't mean that I can't work on this. I was there when it all went down. I know this case inside and out. I want to stay on it.'' JJ said angrily.

''You are torn up!''

''No, I am not.'' JJ said while she felt all eyes on her.

''JJ, I have seen you grow so much in the past two and half years. You are such an amazing agent. I remember how you showed everyone what you were really capable of. You were good. But right now all I see is that you are struggling. You have changed and I understand that but I can't risk this operation because you feel like you have to be on it. Your emotions are the reason why I need to assign this to someone else.'' James said with a gentle tone in his voice.

''Right. Well, sir! I will make it easier for you! I quit!'' JJ said and she put her badge on his desk. She took a look behind her and she felt ashamed of the showdown between her and her boss.

''JJ, don't!'' Hotch said softly as his hand landed on her shoulder.

''Leave it alone!'' JJ said angrily.

''I don't want you to quit, JJ. I just want you to take it easier. I want you to work on another part of this case. Why don't you work with the BAU?'' James asked.

''To find the mole?'' JJ asked.

''Yes. They have been looking into Nathan.'' James replied.

''What? Why him?''

''The bodies they found were all older than thirty-five. Nathan is the only possible mole and he has also become our prime suspect.'' James explained.

''Why didn't you tell me?'' JJ asked with disappointment.

''Because you and Nate were personally involved. Have you heard anything from him?''

''What are you saying? That I know where he is or that I am betraying this agency.'' JJ yelled angrily.

''I just think that Nathan would have contacted you by now.''

''No, he didn't! You knew about this? You lied to me?'' JJ asked as she turned to face Hotch.

''I told him not to tell you anything!'' James said to interrupt.

''I can't believe this.'' JJ said and she was about to walk out of the office when Hotch pulled her back.

''What?'' JJ yelled angrily.

''JJ, calm down!'' Hotch mumbled.

''You lied to me! Again! I actually thought I could trust you again. You went behind my back with everything. I told you stay out of this case and you pressured me into telling you what happened. The last thing I wanted was for you to be on this case!'' JJ said angrily and she left the office.

* * *

JJ stormed into her own office to grab her purse and personal belongings. She turned around to walk out the door but her path was blocked. Hotch was standing in front of the closed door.

''Why didn't you want me to be on this case?'' Hotch asked.

''What?''

''You just told me that you didn't want me to be on this case. Why?''

''Why are you pushing me?'' JJ asked angrily.

''Tell me, JJ! Why?''

''We live in two different worlds, Aaron. I don't want you to enter mine. It is way too dangerous. Look how my life was destroyed because of my work. I didn't want you to be in danger. I don't want you to get hurt!'' JJ finally explained.

''Okay!'' Hotch said and he turned around because he was satisfied with her answer.

''Why is that so important to you?'' JJ asked to make him turn around again.

''Because you were worried about me. You didn't want me to get hurt!''

''So?''

''So! It means that a part of you still cares about me.''

''Yes, I worry about you. Why do you have to rub it in like this?'' JJ asked with a lot of anger on her face.

''Because I am going to try and find Nathan and I want you to remember how you felt when he wasn't here. I need you to do that for me, JJ!''

''Why?''

''Because we might have a chance. And I will take every chance I can get with you.''

''Aaron!''

''JJ!'' Hotch said as he stepped forward. He stopped in front of JJ and he cupped her face with both of his hands. He leaned down a placed soft kiss on her head.

''Aaron, don't go there. Just don't. I can't think about it right now. It is too much for me in this moment. I am not ready.''

''How do you feel JJ? Tell me how you feel about me? I want to know.''

''It is hard to explain how I feel.''

''Just try!'' Hotch said to give JJ some reassurance.

''I feel like I lost so much of myself in the last. What hurts me the most is all the promises you broke when we were younger. You made so many promises to me. And when you break a promise, sorry means nothing anymore. And now I find out that you lied to me again. About the most important part of my life! You knew that and you still didn't say anything.''

''I couldn't, JJ. What if Nathan is the mole? Do you want to risk yourself?'' Hotch asked.

''He isn't!''

''How do you know? Are you sure? Did you ever really know him? Did he really love you? Are you sure he wasn't just using you?''

''What are you suggesting?''

''People can be fake, JJ!'' Hotch explained and JJ hushed loudly at his comment.

''You think I don't know that? You are the perfect example of a fake person! You broke my heart, Aaron. Somehow, I still loved you afterwards. Sometimes I think I still do. I think about you every single day. I have to remind myself what you did to me to keep myself from falling in love with you all over again. But I survived without you and I want you to remember that. I want you to see that. In the end I can love you but I still don't trust you. You need to trust someone to be with them. You have no right to question my relationship with Nate. He was everything you weren't. He seemed like a player when I first met him but he never was. He was always there for me. Don't ever talk about him again! Don't you dare try!''

''I just want you to keep in mind that the outcome of this investigation can become a huge disappointment. It can hurt you and I don't want to see you get hurt.'' Hotch said with all honesty.

''It is a little too late for that. I am going. I think I might leave town for a couple of days. I am tired of everything. I need some alone time. Maybe I should even look for another job. I don't if I want to work here again.'' JJ said and she put her purse over her shoulder and she walked towards the door.

''When will I see you again?''

''I don't know. I guess we will see. Be careful, Aaron. This operation is more dangerous than you can ever imagine.'' JJ said and she finally left her office. She quickly made her way through the building. She walked into the parking garage to get to her car. When she stepped into the parking garage a feeling of awareness suddenly overwhelmed her. JJ turned around to look behind her and she saw that she was the only one there. After a couple of more steps she could swear she was being followed. The hairs on the back of her neck were standing upwards. JJ froze when she heard footsteps behind her. Everything inside her was screaming to turn around but she didn't. She felt something that was so familiar to her but she couldn't place it. She heard the steps coming towards her. She took a deep breath. She felt paralyzed. She didn't know if she wanted to see the person behind her. Both fear and happiness were going through her at that moment. She didn't know which one to choose. She didn't know what to do. She didn't even know if she was right. Maybe she was just hallucinating. Maybe she had turned crazy. After everything she had been through, she wasn't surprised that it could be an option. Her entire life had been turned upside down. Her hand sneaked towards her neck and she took a hold of the ring. She took another deep breath before she gathered up the courage to say anything.

''Nate?'' JJ whispered softly and she still wasn't turning around.

''It is me!'' a voice said.

JJ finally turned around. She stared at him disbelief. It was really him. She thought he was dead. She thought she was never going to see him again. She thought she had lost him forever. Her expression radiated fear.

''JJ!'' Nate said softly as he stepped forward to JJ.

''Where have you been?''

''Everywhere. I am not going to hurt you!'' Nate promised.

''I know.'' JJ whispered.

''Oh my god! It is really you! I thought you died.'' JJ said as she flew into his arms. She held onto him for dear life. She felt him wrap his arms tightly around her and JJ felt like she was home again.

''What happened to you?'' JJ asked gently.

''You know what. We should get out of here because people are looking for you, Nate.'' JJ said to warn him.

''I know. Where is your car?'' Nate asked impatiently.

''Over there.'' JJ said as she pointed towards the black SUV.

JJ and Nate walked towards her car as quickly as possible. JJ was about to step into her car when she heard someone call out her name. JJ gestured for Nate to duck while she stepped away from her car.

''JJ?'' Hotch asked as he ran towards JJ.

''Yeah?''

''I want you to call me on this number when you need me for anything. Just call me! I don't want you to be all alone.'' Hotch said as he handed JJ his personal numbers.

''Thanks.'' JJ said thankfully and she was about to walk back to the car when Hotch held her back.

''Why are you looking so shocked?'' Hotch asked when he noticed the distance in her eyes. He could even see it when he talked to her.

''Oh, nothing. I will see you!'' JJ said and she quickly rushed into the car, hoping that Hotch didn't see Nate. JJ wasn't sure if she was safe with him. She didn't know if he was the mole. She just needed to figure everything out for herself first. She needed to know everything.


	33. Chapter 32

**A/N: Another chapter! I hope you guys like the story so far. There is still a lot more to come. I know there is a lot of drama and I hope it is not too much.**

**Special thanks to DebbieOz, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0, criminalmindscrazy24, jenny crum and Twilightangell!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 32: Part of the past**

The entire drive was filled with tension. JJ hadn't said a word to Nate. She didn't know if she could trust him. She cringed at every small move he made. She had one hand on the wheel and the other near her gun. Nate looked at her the entire time and JJ couldn't help but feel nervous. She always thought that he would have come back earlier if he was alive. And now he was alive and she didn't know what to think. She wanted to trust him but she didn't know if she could. Trust was something that had to be earned. JJ always had trust issues with people. It all started with her parents and Hotch.

JJ was about to turn onto her street when Nathan put his hand on her shoulder. JJ was startled but she didn't show it.

''What?'' JJ asked.

''Don't go home. I don't want anyone to find me, JJ. I have been staying at a cabin near Rock Creek Park. We can go there.'' Nate suggested.

''Fine but I am not going with you until we talk somewhere. I am sorry but I don't know what to think right now.'' JJ said to make sure she was making safety measures for herself.

''I understand. Where do you want to stop?'' Nate asked.

JJ didn't respond because she suddenly noticed a car that had been following her. JJ stayed silent as she took several turns down streets and she was still being followed. JJ had no idea who it could be because she didn't know the car. She also couldn't see who was sitting in the car because it had tinted windows. It looked like a government issued vehicle but she knew she had to be careful. She knew she wasn't safe and if people knew that Nate was alive, they would also go after him. JJ took another turn and she suddenly didn't see the vehicle anymore. She sighed in relief and she turned her focus back to Nate.

''We were being followed, right?'' he asked to make sure that he knew what JJ was thinking about.

''Yes, I thought so.'' JJ said and she suddenly saw a car coming out of nowhere. JJ tried to prevent the cars from crashing but it didn't help. JJ's car was run off the road and it hit a tree. JJ lost her consciousness.

Nate looked to his side and he saw that JJ was barely breathing. He struggled to take off his seatbelt. He ran towards the other side of the car to free JJ. He looked behind him and he saw two men with guns coming towards them. He reached for JJ's gun and he started firing at the two strangers. He was able to shoot them both but he got hit in the shoulder in the process. He quickly dialed 911 to make sure that someone was going to help JJ.

''_What is your emergency?''_

''There has been a car crash on Wisconsin Avenue NW!'' Nate said quickly and he hung up the phone before the man could ask any other questions.

He stayed with JJ while she was still unconscious. He knew she was still breathing and he didn't want to leave her. But he had to leave once he heard the sirens. He didn't want to risk to be caught and he knew JJ would look for him eventually. He quickly grabbed his bag from the car and he ran down the streets.

* * *

Five days later…

JJ eyes were fluttering open. The sight in front of her was hazy. She fully opened her eyes and she saw a tall figure asleep beside her bed. She could see it was Hotch when the haziness had disappeared. She tried to move but she felt a sharp pain going through her chest. She wanted to sit up and even that wasn't possible. She could see some bruises on her arms. She suddenly realized Nathan was in the car with her. She had no idea what happened. She could only remember the sound of gunshots and the sound of his voice which made her calm down.

''Nate? Nate?'' JJ asked softly as she started to panic.

''Nate!'' JJ said a little louder.

Hotch was woken up by the panic in JJ's voice. He stood next to her within seconds and he could see the fear in JJ's eyes. He could absolutely understand her fear. Someone was out to get JJ and they didn't know who or why.

''JJ! I am here!'' Hotch said as he took a grip on JJ's shoulder to make her aware of his presence.

''What happened? Where am I? How did I get here?'' she asked.

''You were in a car crash, JJ. Another SUV hit your car. We found two dead bodies on the scene. The bodies belong to two of the men we indentified from the videos that were sent to you, JJ. You were lucky that you survived. You have been in an out of consciousness over the past five days.'' Hotch explained quickly.

''How did they die?''

''We don't know. We were hoping you could tell us.''

''I don't know. I don't remember much.'' JJ lied. She knew that Nate killed them. She knew where Nate was but she didn't want to tell Hotch. She didn't know who to trust anymore. Nate had saved her life and Hotch was there for her now. How could she choose?

''Are you sure? Because we looked through the security footage after you left work and we saw you and Nathan Atkins on it. You talked to him! Did you know where he was before?''

''No, I didn't! He came up from behind me and I took him away because I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to know what was going on.''

''Do you know where he is now?'' Hotch asked and he saw that JJ was starting to panic again.

''No. I want to get out of here. Let me go!'' JJ said angrily while a tear streamed down her face.

''I can't. You can't be alone, JJ. You are in danger. I will not let you get hurt! I am not going to risk losing you again. I will not let that happen!'' Hotch said forcefully.

''What am I supposed to do, Aaron?'' JJ asked and the tears were streaming down her face as she was sitting up in the bed.

Hotch sat down on the edge of the bed and he pulled JJ into a tight embrace but he was careful enough not to hurt her. He heard her sob into his shirt as he held onto her.

''I don't know what to do. Why did all of this happen? Why me?'' JJ asked in tears.

''There will never be an explanation. Don't drive yourself crazy to find the answer because you will never find it.''

''Why do I have to live with so much pain? I can't take much more. I thought Nate was dead. But he isn't. He is alive. He was alive all this time. When are people going to be honest with me?''

''I want you to trust me, JJ. I promise that I will not hurt you again. I swear. I don't want you to be alone. I want you to come home with me. You are in too much danger to be on your own. The doctor said that your injuries are minor. The pain in your chest is worse because of your injuries from the past. They wanted to keep you for observation but I told him that you were coming home with me.'' Hotch explained.

''I need to go home, Aaron. I can't stay with you. You have your son and Haley to think about.''

''You don't have a say in this. And Jack will be staying with Haley for another four days. We will be fine. Don't argue with me!''

''Fine! Just don't treat me like an invalid. I can take care of myself.'' JJ said as she stepped from the bed with the help from Hotch. She was already wearing sweatpants with a tank top. JJ noticed one of her old sweaters on a table next to the bed and she quickly grabbed it to put it on. It cost her a lot of energy to get the sweater on her body.

''Who went into my apartment?'' JJ asked curiously.

''I did. I grabbed some clothes for you. I have the bag in my car. The doctor already signed the papers. So, we are allowed to go.''

JJ didn't say another word. She didn't know what to say and she didn't feel like talking at all. She leaned against Hotch until they made it to the car. He helped JJ into the passenger's seat. He quickly jumped in himself.

''Can we make a stop?'' JJ asked softly.

''Sure! Where?''

''Georgetown. There is someone I want to visit!'' JJ said with some happiness.

''Okay.'' Hotch said and he put the keys into the ignition. He drove away. He wanted to ask JJ what she wanted to do at Georgetown but he just didn't want to bother her with his questions.

* * *

JJ was already stepping from the car when they arrived at the familiar parking lot at Georgetown. It was so familiar that it felt as if she was coming home. She had good memories here. Memories of her happiness and her sadness. It was the place where she grew into someone bigger. It was the place where she had met the man that was standing next to her now. It was the place where she had learned to be another person.

JJ was already walking ahead of Hotch. She was hoping she was doing the right thing. She was going to visit someone she hadn't seen for five years. JJ knew she was working here. She knew she was still here.

JJ walked through the long hallways and she noticed her. She knew it immediately when she saw the brown curls and the smile on her face.

''JJ!'' Sam said excitedly when she spotted JJ.

''Sam!''

''It has been five years, JJ!'' Sam said as she hugged her friend tightly. They had stayed in contact through e-mails but they hadn't seen each other in that time.

''I know. I have missed you.'' JJ said as she pulled away.

''Is that….? Really? Aaron Hotchner?'' Sam said when she saw Hotch appear in the hallway.

''Yes, it is.''

''Sam, it is nice to see you again.'' Hotch said as he stepped next to JJ.

''Yeah, it is good to see you to.'' Sam said in agreement but she didn't understand what Hotch and JJ were doing together. She could still remember how heartbroken her friend was when she lost him.

''Are you guys back together?'' Sam asked curiously.

''No. I ran into Hotch in Chicago. He was working on a case and I was working for one of my clients. I was coincidentally in Chicago to purchase a painting for my client.'' JJ said because she knew she couldn't tell Sam the truth about her job.

''That is a coincidence. What are you guys doing here?'' Sam asked.

''I wanted to see you before I have to leave again. I am going away for a while.'' JJ said. She kept lying to her friend and it didn't sit right with her but she knew it was her only option. She just needed to see Sam. She was still her best friend.

''No! You are gone so much. We will keep e-mailing. I want to stay in contact. I actually have to get going. I have to teach a class. It was really good to see the two of you! Bye!'' Sam said as she hugged both of them before she left.

''Bye!'' JJ and Hotch said at the exact same time.

JJ turned away and she started walking through the hallways to get outside. She was happy that Sam didn't ask her if anything was wrong with her. JJ felt like she looked like a ghost. She felt like one the entire time.

JJ stopped when she reached the spot where she felt like falling to the ground. The tree was still there. That was the place where she and Hotch spent their most special moments together.

''Do you remember the last time we were here?'' Hotch asked when he looked at the tree.

''I remember. It was the day before we went to Florida. We talked about our future together. We told each other we loved one another. It was one of those days when I couldn't have been happier.'' JJ said and she turned around to look him in the eyes.

''I always remembered this place, Aaron. It is a part of the past I will never forget. You were my first. You were my first love and that is something I will never forget.'' JJ continued.

''It is a part of me to.'' Hotch said in agreement.

''Do you have an explanation?'' she asked suddenly.

''Not a good one, JJ. I was scared when I was younger. I chose the comfortable relationship because I knew what to expect with Haley. Everything changed once I saw you again. I realized how stupid I was. I made the worst mistake of my life.'' Hotch said honestly.

''It is so weird to be here. This is the place where I fell in love. It is the place where I met you.''

''Yeah. There are really important memories here.'' Hotch said as he took one of JJ's hands in his. They kept standing there together, remembering the time when they were younger. Thinking about how much they truly loved one another and how much they still did. But for JJ it was hard to admit it while it was easy for Hotch. They both had different experiences when it came to love.


	34. Chapter 33

**A/N: This chapter is long and it is M-rated! I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0 and DebbieOz!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 33: True feelings**

Hotch and JJ were sitting on the couch in Hotch's apartment. They had barely spoken a word since they left Georgetown. The tension was there and both of them felt it. Hotch knew he was supposed to ask JJ questions about Nate but he didn't want to pressure her. He trusted JJ. He trusted her judgment. The last thing he wanted was for JJ to think that he didn't trust her.

''I think I am going to take a shower.'' JJ said suddenly and Hotch turned around to look at her.

''Do you need help?'' Hotch asked as he stared into her big blue eyes.

''No, I think I can manage on my own. Thanks.'' she said as she carefully rose from the couch. JJ could feel the pain in her chest and it was as if her heart was hurting. She felt torn between two sides. She didn't know what to think or do. She felt safe and loved whenever she was around Hotch. He made her feel things she had never experienced before. He was the risky choice but as much as she loved him, she just didn't know if she could trust him. And then there was Nate. The sweet hunky guy that she had lost and now he was back again. Nate was the person who was able to rebuild her trust and to make her walls come crumbling down. She knew she had two great guys waiting for her. She just didn't know who she could trust. She never believed Nate was the mole. But there had to be a reason why he stayed off the grid for so long. She knew she wasn't going to find out until she talked to him.

JJ stepped under the warm water and she could feel some of her worries wash away. She didn't look down her body because she didn't want to see her scars. She tried to look at them as less as possible. It brought back memories she didn't want to think about. It was the one time of her life that changed her too much.

JJ dried herself and she quickly changed into some comfortable clothes. She stepped from the bathroom and she walked down to the guest bedroom. The scent of food reached her nose and she suddenly realized how hungry she actually was. She quickly made her way into the kitchen and she saw Hotch making dinner. She lifted herself on the counter and she was really close to Hotch. He had changed into jeans and a simple shirt. She hadn't seen him without a suit for years and she couldn't deny that he looked just as good in casual clothes.

''It weird to see you like this.'' JJ commented.

''Like what?'' he asked as he turned around to face her.

''In those clothes. It seems like ages, don't you think?''

''Maybe. It hasn't been that long since I saw you in that.'' Hotch said as he looked at JJ in her sweatpants and tank top.

''Yeah! Only because you were on the verge of stalking me!'' JJ joked.

''I wasn't stalking you! Oh…wait!...Let me guess, it is one of your subtle jokes?''

''You know I don't joke much.''

''You used to be different. I remember how joyful you always were. There was always so much joy in your eyes and now it is gone. I get why, JJ. I am not saying you don't have the right to have changed but I just think that it is not what you deserved. You should have gotten what you always wanted. You should have been able to travel the world without this job. Your heart shouldn't have been broken.''

''Thank you. I guess I have changed. I am cold and distant. And I changed completely. I am not the person I used to be, but I don't want to be the person I used to be. The person I used to be wasn't the real me, Aaron. Everything I have been through has defined me and I know I wouldn't want to go back and change anything. If I would change anything I wouldn't have met you or Nate. It is that simple. You broke my heart but you also taught me a lot. You showed me what true love is like and because of that I found it with another person. Maybe I will find it again. Some day! I hope I will.'' JJ said and she sighed deeply when she was finished.

''You are not cold, JJ. You have just been through a lot and you need to learn to live with that. I know I said you are cold but you are not. Don't think that about yourself. I can still see the JJ I used to know.''

''Thank you, Aaron. For everything. I don't know what to say sometimes.'' JJ said emotionally as she felt the sparks go through her entire body when Hotch's body softly brushed against her knee. She knew it was an accident but her reaction was making her even more confused.

''Sorry!'' Hotch said quickly when he saw that JJ adverted her eyes after they touched.

''No! Don't be! It was me!''

''It wasn't just you, JJ.''

JJ was still sitting on the counter and she could see the love in Hotch's eyes. She didn't want to feel her pain anymore. She knew he could help her with that but she didn't know what do to because her heart was torn. The need to forget was overpowering her. She wanted to feel anything but pain. The last time she felt something more was a long time ago. Hotch pushed JJ legs apart while she was deciding what she wanted. He stepped between her legs and he cupped her face with both of his hands and JJ wrapped her legs around him.

''I love you, JJ!'' he whispered into her ear.

''I…I…I can't.'' JJ replied softly.

''Shhh! It is okay.'' Hotch said and he let his hands stroke through her long hair.

JJ was about to respond when his lips softly brushed against hers. It was that moment when everything around her became hazy. Her only focus was on the person in front of her. She was slowly forgetting all her troubles as she deepened the kiss. She heard him moan into her mouth.

Hotch wanted to cry and laugh in that moment. He felt so lucky that he got to kiss JJ like that but he also realized that it all could go away at the same time and that was the last thing he wanted.

''Aaron! I don't know if we should do this.'' JJ said after she had pulled away to catch her breath from the long-lasting kiss.

''Just one night, JJ! It is going to be you and me. You don't have to say or do anything. One night! And if you don't feel anything tomorrow morning, I will finally let you go.''

''I don't want to hurt you.''

''I know. I want this, JJ. Do you want this?''

''Yes!'' JJ admitted.

Hotch lifted JJ from the counter after that answer. He held her close to his body as he walked towards his bedroom. He gently put her down on the ground in front of the bed. His lips found hers again. Their mouths and tongues were glued to each other. Most of their clothes were already getting lost on the floor.

Hotch was only wearing his boxers when he softly pushed JJ against the wall behind her. His body was deeply pressed against her own. The familiar feeling washed over her as the thought back to her teenage years. He was holding her tight as his hands sneaked under her top. JJ suddenly felt a rush of shock going through her and she turned around. Her back was turned towards him. Her hands pulled down her top as his hands landed on her arms.

''Don't hide from me, JJ!'' he said softly as he turned her around.

''I am sorry.'' she mumbled softly.

He gently pulled the top over her head and he could see all of her scars. Her stomach and chest were covered in them, but he didn't care. They were a part of her. He loved every part of her and he was going to show her that.

His lips softly landed on the valley of her neck and he started to slide down her body. He kissed each scar and bruise on her body. His heart and body were aching for her. The need to be with her was overwhelming. He hadn't felt these feelings for so long. He couldn't imagine to not be close to her anymore.

JJ softly moaned as she felt his lips travel down her entire body. She pulled him in for another kiss on the lips as he was leading her towards the bed. They lost their last clothing on the way. He gently pushed her onto the bed and he moved on top off her.

Hotch saw that JJ was still wearing the ring around her neck. He took it off and put it on the nightstand. He wanted her to be his. Even if it was for one night. He didn't want to share her with anyone else. He would hold her forever if the choice was his. But he knew there was a chance that she wasn't going to stay with him.

He knew JJ was ready after she pulled him in for another passionate kiss. He moved between her legs and he thrusted forward with one fluid motion. He smiled at that exact moment, knowing that she was his.

JJ felt a great ecstasy wash over her. He loved her. She knew there was no way to prevent this from happening. She was part of his body and mind. For this one night they belonged together while they wondered what their futures were going to be like.

JJ's hips kept a solid rhythm as she met him each time. Her mind tried to push out her feelings. She didn't know if she loved him. She stiffened and clenched as she tried to protest against the love she was feeling. It had always been love with him. Nothing was ever going to change that.

She intoxicated him. He was driven over the edge as he felt her hips move in the most sensuous sways he had ever felt before. Everything about her oozed love. It was her hair, her face, her eyes, her mind and her entire heart and soul. It was everything about her. He had finally found his own world. This was their night and no one could ever take it away from them. They didn't have to worry about wrong or right because they had no one else to share their night with. But he knew reality was going to come in a few hours and they would have to go back to their lives. But for now he needed to enjoy all the minutes he was getting. He needed to remember each movement and each touch.

They were both driven over the edge with one last movements of his hips. He dropped himself next to her as he reminded himself that he had to breath. He turned onto his side to look her in the eyes. He never wanted to let her go but he knew the choice was up to her. He promised her. It could be his last promise to her he was never going to break.

JJ moved closer against him. She felt his arms tightly around her body. She rested her head on his chest while she listened to his rapid heartbeat. She knew it was proof of their activities and she loved to listen to his heart.

Hotch suddenly pulled away from JJ. He opened the drawer of his nightstand and he pulled out something small that fitted in his hand. He pulled himself up to sit against the headboard. He saw that JJ sitting up as well with a sheet wrapped around her naked body.

''I want you to have this.'' Hotch said as he handed JJ the eternity ring that he had given JJ. She gave it back to him when they broke up.

''Why?''

''Because I love you. I will love you no matter where you are or who you are with. I will always love you and I need you to know that.'' Hotch explained.

''Aaron!''

''Just take it. It is fine. I don't want you to say anything. We should get some sleep. It is late and we will have a busy day tomorrow.'' Hotch said as he pulled the blankets over their bodies. He took JJ in his arms again and he slowly drifted off.

JJ was awake for a couple of hours as she lay in his arms. She was cherishing every last moment with him. She knew what she had to do. She needed to fight for justice. She needed to get back what she lost a year ago. She finally moved away from him when she was sure he was asleep. She found her bag and she changed into some of her clothes. She put everything she needed in her bag. She sat down in the kitchen table to write a letter for Hotch. Tears fell down her face as she was writing the letter. She left the apartment when she had said her goodbye. She still had the ring with her. She wanted to keep it with her. She had no idea what she was going to do, but everything told her to leave.

* * *

The next morning…

Hotch woke up when he felt the empty spot next to him. He sat up immediately. The panic took over his body when he saw that JJ's bag and clothes were gone. He walked around the apartment in a frenzy but she was nowhere to be found. He went back into the bedroom and he noticed the envelope on the nightstand. He sat down on the edge of the bed and he took the piece of paper from the envelope.

_Dear Aaron,_

_I know that you are probably very hurt once you read this letter. Look Aaron, I know. I know you are hurt that I didn't want to be with you. I understand that and I am sorry. _

_Somehow a part of me has always loved you. Even after what you did to me ten years ago. But how could I be in a relationship when my heart is torn between two people? I don't want you to have to live in a relationship that is build on dishonesty. I couldn't be with you when I still have feelings for someone else._

_How could I do that? How could I be with you, knowing what I would turn my back on. Knowing that I can help a lot of people. Knowing that I would leave behind the person that I still love. And if anything I have learned that I don't have enough time to spent it with you. The problem is that time always runs out._

_And you are the one that taught me that being selfless is to choose something bigger. It is to put aside my feelings. I chose this job to help people and I can't walk away from that. I chose this job for my family and friends. I chose to do this job to protect the world from the evil I know is out there. My evil has not been erased and I am not going to stop until I find the person who took away so much from me. I need justice and that is why I am leaving. I am so sorry!_

_I am sorry I failed you, Aaron. My heart is breaking as I am writing this letter. I never intended on hurting you like this. Over the past ten years I have woken up every morning with a weight in my heart, knowing that I lost the love of my life. Sometimes it hit me so hard that I couldn't breathe. You hurt me when I was younger and I still don't know if can forgive you for that. Know that what I am doing now is not about revenge. Last night was amazing and I wanted it to happen. Believe me. You rocked my world again. I hope you don't see this as the ultimate betrayal, but I understand if you do see it that way. _

_I still can't think about the fact that I might never see you again. I guess that is the disadvantage of life. We only get one life to live and the choices we make in that one lifetime will affect the rest of our lives. What happened in our past can't be changed. I know that. I let the past define my future. I will not let that happen anymore. I hope that one day our paths might cross again. Maybe our futures will lead us back to one another. _

_Not a minute will go by that I don't think about you. I will feel you next to me when I will walk down a street. I will dream about you!_

_My heart is yours. I think it always has been since the moment I told you I loved you. I am sorry I haven't shown you my love in the past couple of weeks. I should have told you. _

_You are everything I always wanted. You always will be. I was changed by what happened to me, but I am still the same person you fell in love with. I have lost and gained. I have cried and smiled. I have moved one with my life, but my heart never moved on. My heart never forgot you. _

_I love you! I always will!_

_I have to go!_

_Yours truly,_

_JJ_

A tear fell down his face as he read the letter. The disappointment and anger came to the surface. He knew he had no right to be angry at JJ. He told her it was going to be her choice. That she could do whatever she wanted to do. He just never expected her to leave. He had no idea where she was or where she was planning on going. He knew she could be on a suicide mission. His heart was slowly sinking as he realized that JJ was probably going back to Nate. He loved her and he lost her once again. This was the moment where he wished he could go back into time and fix all of his mistakes.


	35. Chapter 34

**A/N: I am sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't have a lot of time. I hope you all like it.**

**Special thanks to Classical E. Centric, Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, samcarter1980 and DebbieOz!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 34: Confusion **

The leaves were cracking under her shoes as JJ was walking towards the small cabin. She took a cab to a rental service and she used one of her aliases to rent a car. The last thing she wanted was to be tracked by the CIA. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she was getting closer. Her hand was on her gun as she stepped onto the stairs. She softly knocked on the door. It opened after a couple of seconds and she saw Nate standing on the other side with a gun.

''JJ! You are okay!'' Nate said as he pulled JJ inside with him.

''Yeah, I am fine. Can we talk?''

''Of course. Please, sit down!'' Nate said as he pointed towards one of the chairs that were standing in the corner of the cabin.

''I am not here for you. I don't even know if I can trust you. I need to know what the hell is going on.'' JJ said angrily.

''You don't need to be angry.''

''Don't tell me how to act, Nate. For eleven months I thought you were dead. I thought I had lost you. Do you have any idea how I felt? What it took from me?''

''No, I don't know. But you weren't the only one who has been dealing with loss, JJ. We lost our team.''

''Yes, I know that. Where were you during the explosion?''

''I was on the other side of the building. I just walked outside to see if you were already coming. When I walked to the front I saw them take you and there was no way I could have saved you, JJ. I tried. It took me five months before I figured out where they were holding you. I immediately let someone alert the CIA about your location once I knew it. I did as much as I could in that period of time.'' Nate explained and he was interrupted by JJ.

''Why didn't you just go back home?'' JJ asked curiously.

''I was afraid that the agency would think I was somehow involved with the explosion.''

''Were you?''

''JJ! How could you even ask me that?''

''Because I don't know if I can believe you. They have been looking for a mole for over a year and they have found nothing. In my mind you are the only person someone would ever suspect. They even know you are alive. Give me one reason why it can't be you or why I should even trust you.'' JJ said as she rose from the chair.

''I searched for you in the five months that you were held captive. I never stopped until I found you and I did. I started following one of the men that escaped when they saved you. He is American, JJ. I followed him back here. I have been following him ever since. They are still planning on doing something.'' Nate said as he opened a door.

JJ walked towards the door and she saw pictures of several people that she recognized. She didn't see many people while she was being tortured but she recognized one of the men on the pictures.

''I recognize him!'' JJ said as he pointed at a man from Iraqi origin.

''And this must have been the guy with the American accent that I never saw.'' JJ continued as she pointed at another picture.

''I don't know their names but I do know where they are living right now. I put up my own cameras outside the house. I don't want to risk to lose their location. I just needed confirmation from you that these are our guys.''

''We need to report this to the agency!''

''No! JJ! They will arrest me immediately, especially after I killed those two men five days ago. I will be arrested and charged with treason. Maybe even worse if they would still think I was the mole.''

''Okay, I understand. How do you want to do this?''

''I want to keep them under surveillance for another month before I do anything. They are planning something big. I know it. I can feel it. We need to bust them at the right time.''

''Why not now? These are the guys that killed five of our own! They are the once who tortured me.'' JJ said angrily because she didn't understand Nate's reasoning.

''We need to get them all, JJ.''

''I know. This has been haunting me for months and I want it to be over.''

''I get that. How have you been?''

''Not that good. I honestly never dealt with your fake death. I had to recover from my injuries first and then I was put on leave for three months. Carter asked me to head the unit and I did. In that time Aaron Hotchner reappeared into my life, which made everything even more complicated for me. Let's just say that I don't even know how I am doing because my fiancé was supposed to be dead and now he is standing right in front of me and I don't know where we stand.'' JJ rambled.

''JJ, it is okay. Calm down!'' Nate said as he pulled JJ into an embrace.

''Where were you? Where have you been?'' JJ asked as a tear slid down her face. The emotions were taking over. Her mind and heart were confused. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. She knew she was falling in love with Hotch again and after their night together, there was no way she could deny her feelings for him. She didn't even want to deny them.

''I am so sorry for everything you had to go through, JJ. I wish I could have helped you sooner.''

''I know.''

''So, what happened with you and Hotchner?'' Nate asked because he saw the desperation on JJ's face.

''I…I…oh…I don't know how to tell you.''

''You can be honest with me.''

''I slept with him, Nate.'' JJ said and she saw the expression on his face turn to sadness.

''Why?''

''Because I still have feelings for him. Because I have been living in hell for such a long time and he and I just happened.'' JJ said, knowing that she wasn't telling him the whole truth.

''Why are you still wearing my ring if you love someone else?''

''Because I love you to, Nate.''

''I love you, JJ! But what do you want?''

''I don't know yet. I have to think about it. I need some time.'' JJ said and she turned around to face away from him.

''Wait!'' Nate said suddenly.

He quickly walked towards JJ and his hands landed on her waist as his lips made contact with hers. JJ moaned out in shock. She didn't respond at first but she couldn't help but deepen the kiss after a few seconds. Kissing Nate felt good. And with that thought she pulled away from him.

''I can't! Not now!'' JJ said to keep him at a distance from her.

JJ dropped down in the chair. Her mind was racing. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She was in love with two amazing guys. One that broke her heart and one that came back from the dead. She didn't know how to choose. She knew her decision could hurt one of them and that was the last thing she wanted.


	36. Chapter 35

**A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. Life got in the way. So, here is the next chapter. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, samcarter1980, jenny crum, K.I.M (I hope you are okay!) and PJBecker!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 35: Awkward reunion**

One month later…

Langley, Terrorism division…

Hotch was walking into the crowded bullpen with a quick pace. JJ had only been gone for one month. He knew she left to get justice. His suspicions told him that she went to Nate and that angered him. The fact that she also loved another man made him feel hurt. He knew he had a job to do and his personal involvement was huge in this case but he wasn't going to let anyone know what happened between him and JJ. It was his memory. No one was going to take it away from him. He just didn't know if JJ thought the same way about it. His life had become a rollercoaster since she came back into his life. Everything he always dreamed about turned into nothing. His dreams disappeared into thin air. Everything would be easier if he didn't love JJ. He would have other things to think about. But he couldn't stop loving her. He was never going to stop loving her. As much as he wished that things were different, they weren't. He fell in love ten years ago. Well, he fell accidentally in love. He never planned on falling for someone after his break with Haley. But he did. He met JJ. The blonde stunner that would always own a part of his heart, no matter where she was.

''Hotch!'' Rossi said, interrupting Hotch's thoughts.

''Yeah!'' Hotch said as he spun around to face his oldest friend.

''Are you okay?''

''I am fine, Dave. I was just thinking about this case.'' Hotch replied.

''It looks like you are thinking about something else.'' Rossi observed when he saw that his normally stoic friend was looking confused.

''You filed for divorce. You have barely seen your son. And you have been defending Jareau non-stop. What is going on, Aaron?'' Rossi asked.

''Nothing!'' Hotch said angrily.

''Don't lie to me. I know you better than anyone else. I can see that you are far from okay.''

''Haley has been cheating on me for years. I filed for divorce because I wasn't happy in my marriage. The woman I married betrayed me. What do you expect me to do? I always wanted to have everything. I wanted the perfect life. The job, the beautiful wife and the kids. But in the midst of all of it, I lost sight of the one person I truly cared about. And now I probably lost the only person who ever mattered to me.''

''I had no idea. I am so sorry. She is special to you, huh?'' Rossi mentioned when he was understanding what he was talking about.

''Yes, she is.''

''How long have you known her? I thought Haley was the only woman you had ever been with.''

''No, she wasn't. I met JJ when I was twenty-two and she was eighteen. We were together for six months. I broke up with her when Haley came back into my life. I choose Haley because I knew what to expect with her. But I made the biggest mistake of my life. I am not sorry about Jack. He is the most important person in my life. But I wished everything could have turned out differently.''

''Did you love her ten years ago? Do you still love her?''

''Yes! More than anything. I never stopped, but I was with Haley and I had no idea where JJ was or what she was doing. When I saw her again, it was like I could finally breathe again. She is my world. I don't know how to explain.''

''You screwed up, Aaron.'' Rossi commented as he sat down in a chair in the conference room. Hotch and Rossi were the only ones there. They knew the rest of the team could arrive at every possible moment.

''I know that.''

''Where is she?''

''I don't know. She was staying with me to recover from her injuries and she was gone the morning after. It was like she fled.''

''Let me guess, she is going for justice. I could get that in her case. We saw what they put her through. She has every right to go for it.'' Rossi said.

''Yeah, but not in a good way. She is obsessed with this case. I know what she went through. She talked to me about it and I could never imagine what it must have been like for her but her feelings are clouding her judgment. She might be running away with the one man who caused everything that happened to her.''

''She is not the only one who is obsessed. You have been going this case for over a month and nothing new has come up yet. You aren't giving up.'' Rossi said analytically, knowing that Hotch wasn't going to let the case go as long as JJ was out there.

''Dave, someone is threatening the woman I love.''

''I know and we will get the person who is behind all of this. But you shouldn't be thinking about who is behind this. You need to think about what is going to happen once all of this is over. What will happen to her? What are you going to do?''

''We need to find her first.'' Hotch said again.

''Find who? JJ? I thought you didn't know where she went.'' James said as he walked into the conference room.

''No, she disappeared that morning. I have no idea where she is.'' Hotch replied with irritation.

''I have a pretty good idea. I need your team on high alert. As of now, JJ is a rogue agent along with Nathan. We need to find them. I have a feeling they are going to finish what they started.'' James said.

''And what is that?'' Rossi asked curiously.

''Nathan will kill JJ if he is the mole. And JJ will not stop until she has gotten justice for the loss our unit suffered. They are going after the terrorists. We need to keep identifying them and track them down. It will be the only way for us to find JJ and Nathan. I want to see your team in the bullpen in ten minutes.'' James ordered and he walked away afterwards.

''He seems determined. What do you think?'' Rossi asked.

''I know JJ didn't do this. She would never do this. She isn't like that. If she trusts Nathan, I trust her.'' Hotch said and he followed James into the bullpen.

* * *

Cabin, Rock Creek Park…

JJ was focusing on all the pictures and documents on the wall of the cabin. She could see that Nate put all of his time into tracking down the people responsible for their team's death. JJ had a feeling that she could trust Nate but she still stayed vigilant because anything could happen. That was the one thing she learned on the job. She knew the CIA would see her as a fugitive but she just didn't care anymore. Too much had happened for her to care about her loyalty towards the agency. Her supervisor didn't trust her enough when he was supposed to have her back. Her loyalty was with herself now. She knew Nate thought the same way about it. JJ had been avoiding him when it was about their relationship. It was the thing she had become good at as a month passed by.

''So, we aren't talking anymore?'' Nate asked as he watched JJ go over all the evidence he had.

''I don't know what we are doing!'' JJ said with annoyance.

''Could you please listen to me? Even for a second?'' Nate said to make JJ turn around.

''Sure!'' she said as she finally faced him.

''Thanks. JJ, I know that I hurt you. I know you went through hell in the past two and a half years and I wished I could have spared you that pain. I wish I could have been by your side every single day to just hold you. I missed you so much. I want to be us again. And I am so proud of you. You are still here after everything you have been through.''

''I had no other choice, Nate. What else was I supposed to do?''

''Do you think you can trust me?''

''I don't know and that is what scares me the most. I haven't seen you in a year. I have no idea who the mole is or who betrayed us. I can't trust anyone anymore.''

''You can trust me. Do you want to be with me?'' Nate asked, hoping JJ was going to give him an answer.

''I do but you have to realize that I have feelings for someone else and it is going to take me some time to get over those feelings, Nate.'' JJ said honestly.

''How long do you think it will take?''

''Look Nate. It is simple. I am scared. I have only been in two serious relationships in my entire life. If you want this, we need to think about now and not what happened in the past. Aaron and I happened ten years ago. It is over between him and me. But he will always define me. He will always be a part of me. Nothing can ever change that. I want to give us a shot.'' JJ said with fear in her voice. It was the fear of not knowing what she really wanted for herself.

''I understand. Can I have the ring?'' Nate asked as he pointed towards it.

JJ took off her necklace and she gave the ring to Nate. The eternity ring Hotch gave her was still on the necklace and she put it back on.

''Jennifer Caitlyn Jareau, will you marry me?'' Nate asked.

''Are you serious? Of course! I love you!'' JJ said and she flew around his neck. She still felt loved around him. She felt good and special around him. She really loved him, but there would always be someone in the back of her mind.

''So, now that we dealt with that I think we should go over to the house where the terrorists are living.'' Nate stated.

''Really?''

''Yes, I want to get on with our lives and we can't do it if we are in hiding. I don't want that!'' Nate said as he grabbed a bag and he started to put several guns in it.

''Let's go. I will drive!'' JJ said quickly as she put a gun on her waist and one in her ankle holster.

* * *

Langley, bullpen…

''I matched one of the terrorist faces with a drivers license. I have an address to an house in the suburbs. One of them is living there!'' Garcia announced from behind all of her computers.

''Great job, princess!'' Morgan said to complement her.

''I want SWAT to get ready to go to the house. Chances are big that Jareau and Atkins might have been there!'' James ordered.

''Sir, my team can go in now. We will be there faster and we can't take the chance of them getting away.'' Hotch explained quickly.

''Fine. Go ahead. You are in charge now. I will stay here. Let me know what is happening as soon as you find anything. We finally have a lead so don't screw it up, Hotchner.'' James said.

''We won't!'' Hotch said. He followed the team as they were walking through the halls to get to the parking lot. They put on their vests and they checked their guns when they got to the SUV's.

''Prentiss, I want you with me. I want the rest of you to take the other car.'' Hotch ordered.

Everyone stepped in the cars and they drove away. Hotch was feeling nervous because this could be a way to find JJ. But he was scared because he didn't know what was going to happen to her once she was caught. The CIA, Interpol and FBI had declared her a fugitive. Hotch believed she hadn't done anything and that she wouldn't do anything.

''Hotch, are you okay?'' Emily asked with worry.

''Yes, I am. I need to ask you a question.'' he announced.

''Okay.''

''I want you to stay with me the entire time when we enter the house. I have a personal involvement if JJ is there and I need you to back me up when something goes wrong.'' Hotch explained.

''Personal?''

''Yes, JJ and I had a relationship about ten years ago. We were together six months before it ended.''

''Okay. I will stay with you at all times.'' Emily said for reassurance.

* * *

Washington DC, suburbs…

JJ pulled up in front of the suburban home. She pulled the keys from the ignition. They both stepped from the car at the same time. They glanced at each other to make sure they were ready. JJ pulled her gun as they were walking towards the house.

''Ready?'' Nate asked in a whisper once they were standing in front of the door.

''Yes!'' JJ said softly.

Nate kicked down the door and JJ followed him inside. The entire house was dark and it was a real mess. They made their way around the corner when they heard voice coming from a room behind a closed door. They stopped in front of the door. JJ gave him a nod to enter the room. There were three men inside when they got in.

''Freeze! CIA!'' JJ yelled loudly as they pointed the guns at the men.

In the meantime Hotch and his team arrived at the house. They all stepped out of their cars and made their way towards the house. They were about to enter when they could hear multiple gunshots. They all went in together. They were split up into groups of two. Hotch made his way to the back of the house. Emily was checking another room as he stopped in front of a door. Hotch froze when he heard JJ's screams.

''Nate! Nate!'' JJ screamed as she two men took him away. They had their guns pointed at her and she couldn't do anything. She watched as they disappeared outside. JJ took that moment to grab her gun from the floor that was laying next to the dead body.

''FBI!'' Hotch yelled as he entered the room and he pointed his gun at JJ.

''Aaron!'' JJ said in total shock as her gun pointed at him as well.

''Drop the gun, JJ!'' he yelled.

JJ dropped the gun to the floor and she held her hands up. Hotch walked closer towards her and he pushed her into the wall behind her. He looked at the dead man and he knew it was one of the terrorists they were looking for.

''Tell me you didn't do this! Tell me! JJ!'' Hotch said as he pinned her hands above her head against the wall.

''I can't!'' JJ whispered softly.

''I am sorry but I have to do this, JJ. I am so sorry!'' Hotch said and he turned JJ around. He put the handcuffs on her.

''Jennifer Jareau you are under arrest for the murder of Steven Reynolds. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one. One will be appointed for you.'' Hotch said and he pushed JJ back against the wall. The memories of him and JJ came rushing back and he couldn't help but feel emotional about the entire situation.

''I can't let you do this.'' JJ mumbled softly in his ear.

''You don't have a choice in this, JJ.'' Hotch said and he pulled JJ away from the wall and he led her towards the door.

JJ suddenly elbowed Hotch against his chest and he almost lost his footing. JJ turned around and pulled the gun from her ankle holster.

''I don't want to do this. But I will if I have to. I need to save him. I can't let something happen to him.'' JJ said as tears streamed down her face.

''JJ, don't! Don't ruin your life for someone who isn't worth it!'' Hotch said as he stood in front of her. The distance in her eyes shocked him to his very core. She looked like she was betrayed by everyone she knew.

''Nathan didn't do this! I know that!'' JJ yelled angrily while the gun was shaking in her hands.

JJ suddenly felt a gun pressed against the back of her head and she knew it was over. But it didn't stop her. She had nothing to lose and she was going to fight for justice. She knew Nate didn't do it. She knew it and she needed to proof it.

''Drop the gun, JJ!'' Emily ordered from behind her.

''No! I will shoot him if I have to.'' JJ said as her gun was still pointed at Hotch.

''No you will not. I know you loved him, JJ. I know what he did to you in the past but that doesn't mean he deserves to get hurt now.'' Emily said.

''JJ! look at me!'' Hotch said to get her attention while he was walking closer towards her.

JJ's mind was racing. She knew she had to get away from them. She put her gun on safety and she put it down on the ground. She was still handcuffed and she knew that only made it harder.

''That is it, JJ.'' Hotch said softly and he took her by the arms.

''Can you give us a minute, Prentiss?'' Hotch asked.

''Sure. I will put out an alert on Nathan Atkins and the others.'' Emily said before she left the room.

''What were you thinking, JJ?'' Hotch asked as he held her by both of her arms. His eyes were on her hands that were handcuffed in front of her.

''These people killed my team. They tortured me. We found them but they got away with Nathan. He is out there. We need to find him!'' JJ yelled loudly but she stopped when Hotch pressed his hand against her mouth.

''Do you realize what you have done?''

''I don't care. I have nothing left. Absolutely nothing.''

''That is not true. You have me! I am here for you. You should have stayed with me!'' Hotch said.

''It is not that easy, Aaron.''

''It could have been. We need to bring you in. Carter has been on edge ever since your disappearance.''

''Like I care. He wanted to fire me. After everything I did for him and the agency and even after what I had been through. It is not supposed to work that way.'' JJ said angrily as she felt the sparks go through her body when Hotch got closer to her.

''I hope we can get you out of this mess.'' Hotch said after sighing deeply. JJ had gotten herself in a lot of trouble. He was hoping she was going to get out of it. He needed her to be okay.


	37. Chapter 36

**A/N: Sorry for another wait. But here is the next chapter. I hope everyone likes it!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0 and K.I.M (I am glad that you are okay. It must have been really scary.)!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 36: Goodbye love**

''Like I care.'' JJ said bluntly as she was still standing in front of Hotch.

''What the hell is wrong with you?'' Hotch said as he shook JJ by her arms. He was trying to make eye contact but JJ kept adverting her eyes. Something he saw a month ago was completely vanished. The distance was even greater. For Hotch is was impossible to believe that JJ killed someone. He knew she needed to be questioned but he couldn't believe that she would unnecessarily pull the trigger.

''Nothing. Absolutely nothing.''

''JJ, please! Say something!'' Hotch pleaded.

''What am I supposed to say? I stopped caring. I spent my entire life like that. I lived in pain because of it. That is how I spent my life!'' JJ said softly but there was a certain power in her voice.

''I know, but that doesn't mean that you are supposed to stop. You have everything to live for. You are not supposed to screw up your life like this. I will get you some help and then…then…maybe we can…'' Hotch said but JJ interrupted him.

''There is no us. Not anymore. Nate and I are back to where we were.''

''Of course. I should have known I meant that little to you.'' Hotch snapped.

''Really? You are going there? Just bring me into a interrogation room and question me or charge me even. And find Nate! They are going to kill him for information.'' JJ said angrily. She looked up when she saw Emily standing in the doorway.

''Put her in the SUV. I want you to start the interrogation.'' Hotch ordered and he walked out of the room, leaving JJ and Emily alone.

''Come on.'' Emily said as she took one of JJ's arms.

Emily put JJ in the car and she climbed behind the wheel to drive to Langley. Emily glanced at JJ a couple of times during the drive. JJ was looking out the window until Emily finally started talking.

''Why did you want to work for Interpol?'' Emily asked curiously.

''There was never a good reason. The job just offered me freedom I would have never been able to get otherwise. Back then I thought I was going to be the best time of my life but it turned out to be the…''

''Worst?'' Emily asked to finish her sentence.

''Yes. Why did you work for Interpol?'' JJ asked, knowing that Emily had a past with one of the major agencies. She had noticed it in the time they were working together.

''What? How…how did you know?''

''I can see it. It is in your attitude and stamina. I am the same. Kind off.'' JJ stated.

''I honestly don't believe you did this. This entire case is about revenge on you and your team. If someone in your unit wanted revenge they would have killed you already. It has to be someone from the outside.''

''Why are you telling me this?''

''I know I am not supposed to share this information with you, but this entire case is a bust. For the terrorists it about causing pain to this country but to someone else it is about your team members who died in Iraq. It is about justice for something. I just have a bad feeling about this one.'' Emily said as she pulled up in the parking lot of Langley.

''You are not the only one.'' JJ said kindly.

Emily brought JJ into the conference room with closed blinds instead of a interrogation room. JJ sat down and she saw James Carter emerging into the room.

''Give us a moment, Agent Prentiss!'' Carter ordered.

''Of course, sir!'' Emily said quickly as she left the room.

''I don't if I should charge you or just punch you in the face. What were you thinking?'' Carter asked angrily.

''I was thinking about justice, James! You didn't have my back. What was I supposed to do?'' JJ said angrily as she was standing up from the chair because she didn't want to look like she was intimidated.

''You were supposed to tell me were Atkins was. Your loyalty is with us. It is not supposed to be with a fugitive.''

''He didn't do this! I didn't do this! Someone else is behind this.''

''And who might that be?''

''Someone who is set on destroying me and everyone I care about. It is not anyone in this unit. It has to be someone outside of the agency.'' JJ explained.

''Well, you have nothing more to say in this case. You are a witness and a suspect. If I were you I would start telling me what happened in the past month.'' James threatened.

''We tracked the terrorists and we decided to take them down today. But it didn't go as planned.''

''I got that because Nathan is still gone.''

''I know. I was there. They overpowered us when we entered the room. One of the guys was coming up from behind Nate and he was able to shot Steven Reynolds before he was overpowered. They threatened to kill them if I didn't drop my gun, so I did. They couldn't take me because the FBI interfered.'' JJ stated and she dropped into the chair afterwards. Her body was weak. She didn't feel much at all. It was as if she died inside. The past month had definitely taken some toll from her. She missed Hotch every single day. But she also loved the fact that she was around Nate again. Her mind and heart were torn and she didn't know who or what to chose.

''We will find him. I promise.'' James said.

''Are you guys following the guys that got away? Do you have any idea who there are?''

''Yes, we know who they are. We know where they live and we are going to arrest them.''

''I want to be there. I want to go with them. When are they going?'' JJ asked frantically.

''JJ, calm down. I know you didn't do this. But you have to stay calm. You can go to the raid, but I don't want you to interfere. Plus, you have to be around someone at all times. If one of my bosses found out that I let you go, they will kill me. So, don't be stupid!'' James said as he uncuffed JJ. He took one of her hands to help her up from the chair.

''Why are you really letting me go?'' JJ asked because she knew James would never let her go like that.

''Derrick Nash vouched for you. He told me that you have been calling him in the past month and that you were following his orders. He also told me that he wanted you to keep quiet about the fact that he was still in contact with you.'' James explained and he didn't notice the astonished look on JJ's face.

''Yeah.'' JJ agreed easily. She had no idea what he was talking about. She hadn't been in contact with her Interpol supervisor. She hadn't talked to him for weeks and he somehow managed to have her back. JJ couldn't be happier about it. She walked into the bullpen to call him.

''_Nash!'' _the voice said.

''Hey. It is me!''

''_JJ! How are you? James informed me about you situation. I told him a lie to get you out of this mess.''_

''I know. Thank you! I am so grateful. And I am doing okay. We already have another location. I hope we will finally get them.''

''_You will. Oh, JJ! I have to go. A case is waiting for me! Bye!.''_

''Bye.'' JJ said quickly before the line went dead. The conversation felt awkward but she didn't want to think too much of it. Derrick was the person who gave her the job and he had been her boss for five years.

''Are you ready?'' Emily asked and she scared JJ with her question.

''Wow, you scared me. I am ready. Where are we going?''

''I don't know. Hotch has the locations on his phone. We have two addresses. Two SWAT teams are ready. We are going to get them, JJ. I promise, we will.'' Emily said reassuringly.

''Thanks.'' JJ said as she followed the brunette out of the building.

* * *

Remote location, Maryland…

Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss and JJ went to the first location while the rest of the team went to the second. They had already arrived at the location and they were gathered around the car with a SWAT team around them.

''We are going in at the same time. We will split into two equal groups. One group will take the front and another one the back.'' Hotch ordered and everyone nodded in agreement.

''JJ stays with me. Morgan and Prentiss, take the front! We will take the back.'' Hotch said and everyone started to move into position to enter the house. JJ was standing behind Hotch when she suddenly heard noises coming from a barn not too far from her.

''I heard something coming from the barn.'' JJ announced and she was already running off without permission from Hotch.

''JJ! JJ!'' Hotch said softly but she was already gone.

''You guys should go in. I will go after her.'' Hotch said to the SWAT team and he left to go after JJ.

JJ was entering barn as quietly as possible. She stopped in her tracks when she heard sniffling coming from the back. Her gun was pointed in front of her and she was hyper vigilant. She stepped around the corner and the image in front of her made her freeze entirely. Her gun fell to the ground. She ran towards Nate and she saw an explosive attached to his body. There was a timer on it and it said they only had four minutes left.

''Nate! Oh my god! No!'' JJ gasped as she kneeled down next to him and she was about to touch a wire when Nate stopped her.

''Don't! The explosive will go off if you remove it from my body. It keeps going because of my heart rate. There is not possible way to cut the wires. I have been thinking of an option but there isn't one.'' Nate said to JJ as the sweat was dripping down his forehead.

JJ could see that the explosive was built in a way that he could never get out of it. It was wrapped around his body and one of the beams of the barn.

''We need to find a way!'' JJ yelled.

''There is no way. JJ! Look at me! Please!'' Nate pleaded, knowing this was going to be his last moment with JJ.

''I love you.''

''No, I am not saying goodbye!'' JJ said quickly and she heard Hotch coming up from behind her.

''When I look at you, it is like darkness disappears and everything is put into a new perspective. I know I could never live without you. To not hold you in my arms, to not kiss you and to not tell you how you changed my life.''

''I can't listen to this. I can't leave you.'' JJ said as she saw that times hit three minutes.

''He loves you, JJ. You love him! I see it in the way you look at him. It is okay. You deserve the best. Go! Go!'' Nate said with a tear streaming down his face.

''Aaron! Do something! Please!'' JJ said as she turned around.

Hotch had already called the bomb squad, but he knew it was too late. He had seen the explosive and there was nothing he could do. It was built to kill someone. There was no way they could stop it.

''JJ, I can't. We have to leave!'' Hotch said.

''JJ, go!'' Nate said when JJ wasn't moving.

''I am not leaving you here!'' JJ said and the tears were falling down her face.

''You have to, JJ. You are the only who can beat him!'' Nate said.

''Beat who?''

''Derrick! It is Derrick Nash, JJ! He is the traitor.'' Nate said.

''Leave! Take her!'' Nate yelled when the timer hit two minutes.

''I can't!'' JJ yelled.

''Yes, you can. I never wanted this life for you. I never wanted you to bare this kind of responsibility and pain, JJ. But you are far too driven. You will never let anyone stop you from who you are.''

''You have to hold on. There are coming!'' JJ said, knowing bomb squad was on the way.

''JJ! We have to get out of here!'' Hotch said again but he wasn't getting her attention.

''I love you, JJ!'' Nate said when he saw Hotch wrapping his arms around her tiny waist to pull her away.

''I love you! I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave you.'' JJ said when she was already a few feet away from Nate. She was able to escape Hotch's grip and she was next to Nate again. She pressed her lips against his until Hotch was pulling her away again. The timer hit one minute at that time.

''Aaron! Let me go! Don't do this.'' JJ cried out but she couldn't escape his firm grip. She was struggling as he was pulling her outside.

''JJ, I have to. I can't let you die.'' he said as he put her down on the ground next to the SUV and his hands still stayed around her body. Everyone was behind the car for cover, waiting for the explosion.

''Let me go!'' JJ yelled again.

She cringed when the barn finally exploded. The force of the blast caused her to collide with the ground. Hotch lost his grip on her in that time and he saw her running towards the burning barn. He quickly caught up with her and he held her back again.

''No! He is burning to death! Let me go!'' JJ yelled and he cries were becoming frantic.

''I can't do that.'' he said softly and he let her go when she stopped struggling.

''No! Nate! Nooo! No!'' she yelled and she fell to the ground.


	38. Chapter 37

**A/N: Next chapter. It is M-rated and short. I am sorry for the shortness. I am not happy with this one but I couldn't get more out of it. There will be longer updates soon. I hope you all like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0, jenny crum, PJBecker and samcarter1980!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 37: The need to forget**

JJ was kneeled down on the ground as the tears were streaming down her face. People were standing behind the cars. JJ was the only one who tried to get closer. Hotch was now standing a few feet away from JJ to give her some space. He could see her body trembling. She was hunched over and he couldn't see her face. The color of her sweater and jeans were unrecognizable. Her hair was covered in dust and mud. He didn't even stop to look at his own clothes. But he didn't care. His only concern was for JJ as she was still crying. He stepped closer towards her and he kneeled down next to her. JJ rose from the ground at that exact moment. Hotch did the same and he stepped next to her.

''Come here.'' he whispered softly as he tried to pull her into his embrace.

''No. Leave me alone!'' JJ cried out.

''Come here.'' he said again and he pulled her closer. JJ tried to struggle against his force but she stopped the moment she collided with his warm chest. Her hands went around his back. The tears were apparent on his shirt as she kept crying. She couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. Everything that happened was coming to the surface. The betrayals, the loss, the pain and the love she experienced. It was too much.

''It is okay, JJ!'' Hotch said as he put a soft kiss to her head.

''No, it is not.'' JJ replied in a whisper.

''It will be. Eventually. You will get through this.'' he whispered into her ear.

JJ pulled away and she looked at him in astonishment. She thought her life was over. That was the only thing that kept going through her mind.

''Nate is dead. He is dead! How is that okay?'' JJ asked.

''You got through it before. You can do the same now. You are too strong to let this destroy your life.''

''We should have saved him.'' JJ said to get to another subject, knowing she was purposely looking for someone to blame.

''I didn't have a choice. We didn't have a choice! We would have died as well. Do you really want that, JJ?'' Hotch asked as he looked at her with anger.

''We always have a choice.''

''Give me a damn answer! Do you want to die? I mean, go ahead! There is a burning building in front of you.'' Hotch yelled angrily.

''You know what, I don't get you. You have so much to life for. You could accomplish so much more if you would just stop blaming everyone around you!'' he continued.

''I blame everyone? Are you kidding me? I only blame myself. I blame myself for having this job. Don't you understand?''

''People are dead because of me. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I have to live with the fact that my only family died in an explosion. And loving someone hurts all the time. There is nothing I can do without hurting someone or myself.'' JJ continued.

''I love you, Aaron! Here I am, saying it only a couple of minutes after my fiancé died. I have been running away from what I felt for you. I have been doing that for years. I kept settling for second best because loving you hurts. It hurts to be without you. It hurts so much that I feel like I can't breathe. And I somehow survived without you. But I don't know if I can do that anymore. I need you and I feel foolish when I hear myself say it. In life we meet one person who is unlike any other. You are that person to me. You understand me. And I am ashamed to say that you are the one person I truly love and have loved. I am sorry for everything.'' JJ confessed and she sighed deeply when she got everything out.

''JJ!'' Hotch said hoarsely.

''I know. I am too late.''

''No, I didn't mean that. I just…ohhh…I don't how to say how sorry I am. I am here for you. I am never going to leave you.'' he said as he gently took her hand. He pulled her with him towards the cars. They both stepped into the backseat of a SUV to go back home. Hotch had already ordered Emily to inform James about Derrick Nash. The last thing he wanted was to confront JJ with all the facts. He was going to take her to his apartment. She needed to rest. Hotch knew JJ loved Nate. He saw it. But he didn't care. He loved her more than anything and he was willing to help her through her pain. He would do anything for her. He wanted to spent the rest of his life with her. He only wished he could have gone back ten years and change everything that happened to her. He would do anything to take away her pain and to replace it with the joy she had as an eighteen year old. JJ had changed and he still loved her. He didn't care about that because in the end the person he fell in love with was still inside her. Love is about accepting someone for who they are. It is to embrace the changes in someone. He knew JJ didn't make her changes willingly but it didn't mean she couldn't learn to live with them.

* * *

Hotch held the door to his apartment open for JJ. He followed her inside and he saw her dropping down on the couch. He walked into the kitchen and he quickly grabbed to glasses and a bottle of scotch.

''Would you like a drink?'' Hotch asked as he sat down next to her.

''You know I don't like to drink but I guess today changes everything. Give me one.'' JJ said.

''Here you are.''

JJ took the drink in her hand. She put the glass to her mouth and the scotch disappeared into her throat within seconds. She slammed it back onto the table and she poured herself another one.

''You should take it down a bit.'' Hotch said to warn JJ before she was getting too drunk. He could see she was just trying to drink her sorrows away and he couldn't object because he understood her motivations for wanting to forget.

''Help me forget, Aaron!'' JJ said with a husky voice. She leaned towards Hotch and she was straddling his lap before he could do anything.

''I don't want to take advantage of you, JJ. But if you keep teasing me I will not be able to stop myself.''

''That is exactly what I want. Let me see the rough side of Aaron Hotchner.'' JJ said and her lips landed on his bare chest. She had already shed him of his shirt and jacket. She felt him pick her up and he pushed her into the wall. Nothing about their encounter was normal. He could feel the heat rising in his body. It was like they both needed the reassurance that they were still alive and that they were together. There was no time for sweetness. Hotch was kissing her neck as he was pushing down his boxers and slacks at the same time. JJ had somehow lost her shirt and pants. He pushed aside her panties before driving himself into her. He heard her moan into his ear and it made him lose his control even more. Their bodies met each other's movements. JJ was going over to edge not long after and Hotch followed her. They dropped down to the floor with heaving chests. Their lest shred of energy was gone, but it was exactly what they both needed.

''Thank you.'' JJ sighed deeply.

''Your welcome. We should do that more often.'' Hotch said with a smirk on his face and JJ couldn't help but smile when his dimples appeared.

''I guess we were a little bit desperate. We didn't even take time to take of our clothes.'' JJ said and she realized she was smiling. She didn't know how, but she was. That was the most important.

They made their way into the bedroom. They crawled under the blankets and fell asleep in each other's arms, forgetting the events of the day.


	39. Chapter 38

**A/N: My last update was a long time ago. I am sorry. I hit a bump with this story. There has been a lot of drama in this story and I don't want there to be much more drama in this story. The upcoming chapters will be about JJ recovering from everything and her relationship with Hotch.**

**Special thanks to jenny crum and guest!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 38: It's over**

JJ was starting to wake up in two strong arms. It was as if she was back in time. Like nothing bad had ever happened in her life. She wished that was the truth. There would have been no pain and suffering in her life. But there was nothing she could do to change it. A part of her was able to feel some happiness because she was waking up in the arms of the person she loved. She knew it had always been Hotch. The admissions were always hard for her. She would do anything to not look weak to anyone. Her exterior was one of a strong and confident person, but inside she was so different.

''Good morning!'' Hotch greeted when he noticed that JJ had opened her eyes. He put a soft kiss on her lips as he pulled her tighter against his warm body.

''Hi.''

''So, I thought we should stay in today. There's no reason for us to go back to work and I think you could use the rest.'' Hotch explained as he sat up against the headboard.

''What about Nash? We need to find him as soon as possible. He's extremely dangerous.'' JJ said because she wanted to get him. Every part of her wanted to know his reason for his actions. She knew there was no reason that could possibly be good enough to be teaming up with a group of terrorists.

''I know, JJ. But the most important thing is that you get some rest. Yesterday was a hard day and I don't want you to be stressed. Besides, I think Carter won't let you near this case after what happened yesterday.''

''Fine. I do want updates. I know your team is working on it so I want to know when something important is happening.'' she demanded.

''Of course. I'll make sure that I know what's going on. I just don't want you to worry about anything. You have had more than enough stress. Let's just have a day off. I think that has probably been a long time for you.''

''Yeah, it has. Can I ask you something?''

''Always.'' he answered.

''Why do you think Nash went against his country?'' JJ asked softly.

''I don't know, JJ. I don't even know the man. He was your boss for five years. Why do you think he did it?''

''I know he lost his son seven years ago, but that's all I know about him. He's a private person. Now I know why. I just wish I could have seen the signs earlier. People died because of me. I was the one who got involved with the CIA. If they never met me they would have been alive today.'' she explained emotionally.

''You shouldn't think like that. He would have killed people no matter what. None of this is your fault. I don't want you to blame yourself.'' Hotch said, looking to the nightstand when his phone started ringing.

''Hotchner.'' he greeted.

''_Hey, it's Morgan!''_

''What's going on?''

''_We just found out that Derrick Nash is currently in DC. He booked at ticket from Chicago to DC. He landed two hours ago. We already sent teams to the airport but we think he's already gone.''_

''Have you been in contact with the Interpol office in Chicago?''

''_Yes. The director said he had no idea what Nash had been up to. All his records were send to Garcia and she's going through them as we speak. Nothing has come up yet. I just wanted to let you know that you should be careful because we have no idea what he's planning.''_

''Yeah, I know. JJ is with me. I won't let her out of my sight. Just call me if anything changes.''

''_I will. Take care!''_ Morgan said before hanging up the phone.

Hotch put his phone down on the bed. He turned to JJ and he saw the worry all over her face. He knew JJ wasn't feeling safe at all. Her body was trembling a bit. He didn't know what to do, except to hold her tightly against his body.

''He is here, isn't he?'' JJ asked as her head was resting on his shoulder.

''Yes. He arrived in DC about two hours ago.'' he answered, caressing her cheek gently.

''What does he want?''

''We don't know, JJ. But that's exactly what worries me the most. I don't know what he's up to. We profiled the mole as someone with a traumatic past who's lashing out at the people that betrayed him.'' he explained quickly.

''We know Derrick is the mole, but there's nothing the team or I did to him. He didn't even know the people I worked with back then. He was only in contact with me. It has to do with me. There are no other options. We need to go through my life. I did something to cause this and I need to know why.'' she said, climbing off the bed.

''JJ!'' Hotch said loudly when she already disappeared into the living room.

Hotch stepped from the bed and he went into the living room. He saw JJ sitting on the couch with the phone to her ear. He walked in closer and he could hear her speak to the person on the phone.

''Yes…..sure…..okay….No, I'll be there.'' she said and she turned around when she noticed Hotch standing behind her.

''Everything okay?'' he asked when he saw her pale face.

''That was Nate's lawyer. Apparently Nate left a will for me in case he would never see me again. He gave it to the lawyer when I was recovering in the hospital after I was rescued from Iraq.''

''Oh. Are you really going?''

''Of course I am. It's the last thing he left for me. I need to know what he left for me. Look Aaron, nothing will ever change what I feel for you. But Nate was a part of my life and it will take some time before I'm completely over what happened.''

''JJ, that's not what I'm worried about. I don't want you to go outside because Nash could be everywhere right now. I don't want you to be in anymore danger than you have to be.'' he explained and he could see the understanding on her face. He was about to continue when his phone started ringing again. He sighed out in frustration before picking it up.

''What is it?'' he asked.

''_Hotch, we need you and JJ to come in now! We just received a threat from Nash.'' _Emily explained, expressing her worry.

''How?''

''_He sent us more footage of JJ's captivity with an email attached. In it he threatens her life. She is in danger, Hotch. You need to bring her in now.''_

''I'm not going to drive to Langley when there's a madman gunning for her. Prentiss, I want you to sent a team. Security or SWAT, I don't care. She needs to be brought in safely. It's too dangerous to go out on the road.''

''_I'll call it in. I'll let you know when they're on the way. Be careful.''_

''I will. Thanks!''

JJ was pacing through the apartment, knowing something was going on. Hotch's voice tipped her off. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. She just couldn't believe that after everything she was still in danger. She wanted it to be over. Her life was supposed to go back to normal. She didn't want to fear for her life. She wanted to feel like a normal human being. She wanted a normal life more than anything.

''JJ, a team is coming to take us back to Langley. Nash threatened your life.''

''That was to be expected. How long….'' JJ said but she stopped talking when she heard a sound coming from the front door. She walked closer to Hotch and held a hand over his mouth when he wanted to talk. She dragged him to his bedroom. She kneeled down in front of his safe to open it.

''JJ, what are you doing?'' Hotch asked when JJ was taking a gun from the safe. She put one gun on safety in her boot. She pointed the other in front of her.

''Someone is outside. Take your gun!'' she ordered.

Hotch raced to his nightstand and he took his gun. He saw JJ cringe when they heard the front door open. He caught up with JJ and he pulled her back into the bedroom when she was walking into the hallway.

''JJ, stop! We need a plan!'' Hotch whispered.

''No, we don't. This isn't a simple raid. Nash is here and the chance is big that he brought people who are probably trained. A plan isn't going to save us.''

''Shhh!'' he mumbled when the knob on the door was turning. Hotch took JJ by the arm and they both crawled behind the bed. They heard a pair of footsteps coming into the room. They waited until the person was close enough to see them. Their guns were pointed ahead of them and they both took a shot when the man stood in front of them. They took his gun and moved into the hallway. They had no idea how many people were in the house, but they could expect the worst. Hotch was giving JJ a sign to split up. Hotch moved towards the living room while JJ took a turn to the kitchen.

Hotch didn't see anyone in the living room. He turned around to check. There was no one. He suddenly heard a banging noise coming from the kitchen. He was running towards the kitchen when bullets were being fired at him. He turned around and he shot the shooter who was behind him. He luckily wasn't hit because he reacted in time.

In the meantime JJ was standing opposite of Nash in the kitchen. They both had their guns drawn.

''Here we are!'' Nash commented.

''What do you want?''

''I want you to suffer!'' Nash yelled angrily.

''So, I haven't suffered enough already. You killed my team and your so-called buddies blew up Nate yesterday. Isn't it enough already?'' JJ said with a trembling voice.

''It will never be enough. My children were taken from me!''

''I don't know what happened to your children but I didn't do anything. I'm not to blame for what happened to your kids.''

''That's only what you believe!''

''You told me that your son died seven years ago.''

''People lie, JJ! People lie.'' Nash yelled angrily.

''Do you remember the human trafficking ring, JJ?'' he continued.

''I'll never forget that case. You saved my life because you paid off one of the buyers.'' JJ replied as calmly as possible as their guns were still pointed at the other.

''I did. But it cost me my children. The person who headed the trafficking ring had my children killed when he found out that you were undercover. The truth came out during trials when they were talking about an undercover agent. They figured it out.'' he explained angrily.

''How is that my fault? I would have done something if I knew that. Wake up, Derrick! I am sorry!''

''Your apology doesn't mean anything to me.''

''So it justifies that you killed six people? You want revenge? You know what, I'll give it to you.'' JJ said and she put her gun on the counter.

Nash walked towards JJ and he pressed the gun against her head. He put one hand around her throat as he pressed her against the wall. JJ was struggling against his grip but there was nothing she could do. JJ was coughing for air when Hotch appeared into the kitchen. He fired one shot and Nash fell to the ground with JJ.

JJ's hand went to her throat as she was breathing heavily. Her body was shaking as she was bend over Derrick's body. He was dead. JJ was still sitting in a pool of his blood but she just didn't move. It was over. And now everything was coming out. It started with one tear and it turned into a thousand more.

''Aaron!'' JJ cried out when Hotch lifted her up from the floor. He hugged her tightly as he led her out of the apartment and into the hallway.

''It's over, JJ! I'm right here. It's all over!'' he gently whispered into her ear.

She knew the case was over. The perpetrator was dead, but her recovery was just going to start. She knew the road ahead of her couldn't be an easy one. It was going to be one of baby steps and setbacks but she knew Hotch was by her side and that was enough for now.


	40. Chapter 39

**A/N: Next chapter. It's short and I am so sorry. School and work is just taking up a lot of time. And I am having some problems with this story. I hope you guys still like it!**

**Special thanks to Rid3ThatChocob0 (Thanks for your idea! It really helped me and it is amazing! Next chapter will be about the tape as well. I just hope it isn't too much drama.), samcarter1980 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 39: News**

JJ was sitting in the conference room with the BAU team and Hotch by her side. The case was officially over. The BAU was going back to Quantico. Only JJ had no idea what she was supposed to do. She wanted a fresh start more than anything. But how was she supposed to do that? The road wasn't going to be easy, but the first step would be easy.

''JJ, can we talk?'' James asked carefully.

''Anything you want to say, you can say in front of them.'' she said, looking around the room. She felt comfortable enough around Hotch's team.

''Well, I wanted to talk to you about extending your contract with the CIA. We can put you on a new taskforce.'' James explained quickly while his eyes were only on JJ.

''No, I'm not coming back to the agency. My resignation is official.''

''Can you at least think about it?''

''No! This job took everything I had!'' JJ said angrily and she was walking away because she didn't want to break down in front of everyone. She made her way into her old office and she sat down in the chair behind the desk. The office was empty and grim. She didn't even feel at home anymore.

''JJ, I didn't mean to sound like that.'' James said softly when he walked into the office.

''I know. I know. But can't you see?''

''I'm broken, I'm exhausted, I'm defeated. There's nothing left for me here. This job has torn apart my life, but a part of me survived it all. That's only because of Aaron. I wouldn't know what to do if he wasn't in my life. I just can't do this job anymore. It's too much. I'm sorry.'' JJ apologized and she was about to step out of the office when James blocked her path.

''Wait!'' James said.

''You have nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing. You're the daughter I never had. I don't care if you don't do this job anymore. I just want you to be okay.'' James said emotionally.

''I will. I promise. I just need time.'' JJ said and she ended up in his embrace.

In the meantime Emily put Hotch aside from the rest of the team to talk to him. She knew JJ and Hotch were involved. She also knew exactly what JJ went through during her captivity in Iraq. She had watched the entire tape by herself without anyone knowing. The team had seen the first part but they stopped when it turned into screams and blood. It horrified her. She knew herself what it was like to work for Interpol. Case after case came across their desks. Some were worse than others, but the life was the hardest. Sometimes it was like you didn't exist. You were supposed to be a ghost and that was the life Emily escaped from just in time.

''What is going on, Prentiss?'' Hotch asked curiously when they were alone in an interrogation room.

''It's about, JJ. I need to tell you something but I don't know how.''

''Just tell me!'' he responded impatiently.

''I watched the entire tape, Hotch. JJ wasn't just tortured during her captivity. She…she…was…'' Emily tried to stay but she couldn't. She didn't want to break JJ's trust, but she knew she needed help. Hotch loved her.

''She was what? Are you saying she was….? No!'' he said, knowing what Emily was getting at.

''Yes. I'm so sorry, Hotch. I didn't know how to tell you this. I didn't want to involve the rest of the team.''

''Who was it?'' he asked fiercely.

''Steven Reynolds.'' she answered.

''Why hasn't she said anything about this?'' he asked with disbelief. JJ was hurt. The woman he loved was hurt in an unimaginable way.

''She probably doesn't know. It looks like she was drugged.'' she explained.

''How am I supposed to tell her this? She won't believe me.''

''She will once she sees this.'' Emily said, handing Hotch the tape.

''I can't do that to her, Emily! I can't.''

''Hotch, she can't spent the rest of her life not knowing what happened to her. You can't do that to her. She deserves better.''

''This will only ruin her even more. She's already hurt enough. How much more is she supposed to go through before it'll all stop?''

''I don't know, but you have to tell her or I will. She needs to know. What if she starts remembering things?'' Emily asked to through him off balance.

''I just need to think about this. Give me some time.'' he said and he was walking away before Emily could say more to him.

Hotch saw JJ in the hallway and he caught up with her. He put an arm around her waist and he pulled her against him. He felt like he needed to protect her from all the pain in the world. She had already seen too much of it.

''Do you mind if we go to Nate's lawyer?'' JJ asked.

''Of course I don't mind. Let's go.'' he agreed.

* * *

Lawyer's office, Downtown DC…

''Nate left you everything Jennifer. He told me he wanted you to have everything in case something ever happened to him. He also left you a letter.'' the lawyer said.

''Thank you, sir.'' JJ said as she took the big and small envelopes from his hands.

Hotch was waiting in the car and he could see the pain on her face when she entered the car. She was holding to envelopes and he was getting curious. He just didn't want to interfere in her business.

''He left me a letter, Aaron.''

''Do you want to read it now? I can give you a moment.'' he said kindly.

''No, I don't want secrets. This concerns you as well, but I want to read it at home.'' she suggested.

''Sure.''

* * *

Hotch's apartment…

''_Dear JJ,_

_In the past five months I have known that this day would come. The day of saying goodbye. It hurts me to think about not seeing your face every single day. To not see that great smile. To not hold you. To not love you. One thing is clear to me. I will never stop loving you. Never, I promise!_

_When you are reading this letter, I will be dead. My life will be over. I just need you to know the truth, JJ. It is what we agreed on when we met. No secrets. And I don't want there to be any secrets when I'm gone._

_I didn't die in the explosion. I survived, clearly. You were taken by them and I spent five months looking for you. I found you and I alerted the agency._

_Right now, I am outside your hospital room. I saw you for one second. You didn't look good at all. I am praying for you to make it through. I will not survive without you. Knowing that you're alive is enough for me. I know I betrayed you, but I did it to stay out of trouble and to save you._

_This letter isn't about making excuses for myself. It is about saying goodbye to you. You are the love of my life. At first I didn't know I was in love with you. But I knew it once I could tell you anything and when you didn't laugh at me. I knew it when I could see your face once I closed my eyes. I knew it when you told said that you loved me to. Your love has given me so much more than I ever imagined. You took away my pain. I can't imagine to live without you. I am just a lonely soul without you. Just know that no matter what happens, I love you!_

_Forever,_

_Nate''_

JJ's voice was trembling while she was reading the letter. Hotch had his arms around her and he kept her body from shaking too much. A tear fell down her cheek. She was glad that Nate left her something but it still hurt. Thinking about him would always hurt.


	41. Chapter 40

**A/N: Next chapter! I know I keep apologizing for the period between updates, but I have been working a lot more and that means I have less time to write which I hate. I hope all like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to samcarter1980, jenny crum, Rid3ThatChocob0, DebbieOz and PJBecker!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 40: Consolations**

One week later…

JJ was crawled up on the couch in Hotch's apartment. She had been staying with him for the last week, but he was barely around. He got called away on a case for five days and he asked JJ to stay at his apartment. JJ had barely eaten in the last few days. She was feeling worse with every hour. Everything that happened was finally coming out and it was slowly breaking her down. She had no energy in her body. The exhaustion had completely taken her over.

JJ forced herself to sit up when the door to the apartment opened. She saw Hotch entering with his go-bag. He looked tired as well. JJ called him every single day, but he seemed off on the phone. He listened to her but it was as if he wasn't present.

''Hey, sweetheart.'' he said softly as he made his way towards the couch.

''Hi,'' she greeted. ''How are you?''

He sat down next to her on the couch and he pulled her closer towards his body. He gently kissed her head. ''I'm fine.'' he said, noticing that JJ looked a lot thinner. ''Have you eaten anything?''

She shook her head. ''I couldn't keep anything down.'' she explained. ''I'm not feeling good, Aaron.''

''I know, JJ.'' he said, pulling her even closer. His arms were wrapped around her waist as her back leaned against his body. ''Do you want to talk about it?''

''No,'' she replied easily. ''Do you?''

''What?'' he asked astonished.

JJ pulled away from his hold. She sat straight up and she turned to look him in the eye. ''You've been different in the past week.'' she adverted her hands to their intertwined hands. He suddenly pulled his hand away. ''What is it?''

''I...I…'' he stumbled.

''It's okay!'' she reassured softly.

''No, it's not. Nothing about this is okay, JJ.'' he replied emotionally. ''You didn't deserve any of it. You've already been through so much that I don't get how you can be sitting here. You just amaze me with your strength. You've been through hell.''

She shook her head in disagreement as he finished his sentence. ''I'm not strong.'' she stopped. The next thing she wanted to say was hard. It was the truth. She knew that, but it wasn't easy at all. ''I always ran away from my problems. I hid from them. And now,'' she took a deep breath. ''Now…everything is coming back to haunt me. All the pain is back and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like I've lost myself completely.''

''JJ?''

''Yeah?''

''I need to tell you something.'' he said, waiting for her acknowledgement. ''I've been struggling with this all week. I don't know how to tell you this or if I'm supposed to. But I can't lie to you.''

''You're scaring me, Aaron.''

''I just need you to know that what I'm about to tell you won't change anything between us. I'll never leave your side. I love you and I'll stick with you through everything.'' he said to let her know how he felt. He wanted to give her the reassurance before telling her the devastating news.

''JJ, you were rap…you were.'' he stopped when a tear fell down his face.

She moved closer towards him. She wiped away the tear with her finger. Her head rested against his. ''Don't!'' she whispered. ''I know what you're trying to tell me.''

''I'm so sorry.'' he said pulling her shaking body flush against his own. ''I'm so sorry, JJ.''

''How did you find out? I didn't even know.'' she mumbled as the tears were streaming down her pale face.

''You were drugged. Nash sent a video.'' he explained softly. ''I didn't see it, JJ.'' he reassured her. He didn't want her to feel ashamed, even though he knew that was very likely to happen anyway. He had dealt with the victims of rape and he was always able to keep himself professional, but the situation with JJ was completely different.

She had no words left. All she could do was break down and cry in his embrace. She could already feel the wet fabric under her cheek. She couldn't believe it. She didn't even know that it happened. She suddenly felt shame wash over her. She pulled away from him and she stormed into the bathroom as fast as possible. She heard Hotch call out her name as she made her run towards the bathroom.

She collided with the ground in front of the toilet. She hang over the lid when she had to throw up. The soft knock on the door was barely audible through her cries. Her arms clung to her body in a protective hold, but there was no way she could protect herself from something that happened so long ago. She heard the banging against the door but she just ignored it. Instead, she slowly made her towards the shower and she let the warm water wash over her shaking body while she was still wearing her shirt and sweatpants. She just didn't care anymore.

Hotch was still standing on the other side of the door when he heard the water running. He took a step back and he kicked open the door. He saw JJ cringing and he rushed towards her side. He quickly threw off his jacket. He stepped under the shower. JJ was leaning against the wall behind her as he wrapped his arms around her. She struggled at first but she was too weak to get away from him. Hotch held her as she kept crying. His heart was breaking. He never wanted JJ to have to go through so much. When they were younger everything seemed perfect. They were happy. JJ was happy. She wasn't broken. She hadn't lost herself. He felt as if he could kill the people who did this to her.

* * *

Hotch hadn't closed an eye all night. He wanted to be there for JJ whenever she woke up. She finally fell asleep around three in the morning. He knew she barely slept while he was gone. He regretted leaving in the first place and he promised himself to never leave her again. He didn't know what he had to do about his job, but he would find a way. He had to. JJ needed him now more than ever.

He was stroking her hair when he was distracted by the buzzing of his phone. He carefully leaned over towards the nightstand to pick up his phone.

''Prentiss?''he asked in a whisper.

''_Hey. Can you talk?''_

''Yeah, but I have to be quiet. JJ is finally asleep.''

''_Okay. I don't know if I should ask you this, but did you tell her?''_

''Yeah, last night.'' he replied, sighing deeply afterwards.

''_Oh god. How did it go?''_

''She broke down completely. It took her hours to fall asleep. I don't know what to do. I can't just leave her, Emily. She needs to have people around who love her. I can't go to work and leave her behind.''

''_What if I stay with her when we have a case? The team can't miss you but they can miss me. I could consult from here.''_ she suggested.

''That would be an option. I would have to talk to Strauss about this and of course to JJ as well. Do you want come by this afternoon?''

''_Do you think that's a good plan?''_

''You've become her friend. She trusts you. She trusts the team. I think it would do her some good to be around someone else.''

''_Okay. I'll text you when I'm on my way.''_

''Thank you.''

''_You don't need to thank me, Hotch. Bye.''_

''Bye.'' he whispered softly when he felt JJ turn around.


	42. Chapter 41

**A/N: Next chapter! I think this story won't be much longer. I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Special thanks to jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 41: A new start**

Seven months later…

JJ shifted her weight in the comfortable chair. She had been seeing her therapist, Dr. Mason, for a while now. Hotch wanted her to get some help, knowing it could do her a lot of good if JJ talked to a stranger about everything she had gone through. She had been seeing a therapist for six months now and she was slowly doing better. She was enjoying life again. She saw the little things as good things. She could appreciate more than she had in a long time. The past seven months had been extremely hard. Everything had come back to haunt her. Sleepless night had become a habit. Luckily, she had people around her. She had gotten to know the team overtime and they all meant a lot to her.

''I can imagine you must be pretty scared about going back to work so soon.'' the doctor said, trying to get JJ's attention back on her.

JJ sighed deeply. ''I wouldn't want to go back to my old job. I think too much has happened for me to work there again.'' she stopped for a second. ''I'm going to do a different job this time. I think working for the FBI will be easier than for the CIA. There'll be a big difference.''

''What do you think will be different about working with the BAU?''

''I won't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. And I'll work with people I trust with my life.'' JJ explained rather quickly.

''Aren't you afraid about losing your new team like you lost your other team?'' the doctor asked, knowing JJ preferred to not talk about the people she lost.

''Of course I am.'' she replied honestly.

''How does that make you feel?''

''It scares me.'' she leaned back in the chair with her hands on her knees. ''I think I wouldn't survive to lose more people in my life. My old team was like family to me, but this time it's even more real. These people…oh…they…'' she stopped because she didn't know exactly how to tell what she felt.

''They, what?''

Her blue eyes became watery. ''They changed me completely. I used to act strong because I thought it was the best way to act. But they taught me that it's okay to open and vulnerable.'' she wiped away a tear. ''They were there for me when I needed people in my life. They stayed around through the good and bad. They individually helped me heal in a way I never thought I could.''

''You seem happy when you talk about them. I think this one of our first sessions where you seem to realize that you're allowed to be happy. What changed?''

JJ smiled and took a zip of water. ''Yesterday.'' she answered, knowing she needed to explain the event. ''It was a perfect day. It was simple, but it was filled with so much love that I knew that I wanted that every single day.'' she went on. ''Aaron and I made cookies with Jack and we had dinner afterwards. After dinner we watched a movie on the couch and Jack fell asleep. I had Aaron's arms around me and for the first time in a long time, I realized how lucky I am to have him in my life. I feel safe when I'm around him. He makes me feel something more.''

''It's good that you realized that. That's a point where I want you to go. It's not bad that you think about your past, not at all. It's a part of you that you'll always carry with you, but it's good that you can think about a future with the man you love.'' she explained. ''How has Aaron been dealing with your recovery?'' she continued.

''He has been having a hard time. There have been days when I know he's frustrated when he realizes he can't always help me. He wants to be there every second of the day, but he can't always be there for me. I tried to explain that.''

''What do you mean when he can't be there for you?''

''I just think there are some things that I need to go through alone.'' JJ said emotionally.

''Like what?''

JJ hesitated. She didn't want to talk about that subject. But she promised to tell the truth and to be open. She needed to be in order to feel better. ''The rape.'' she whispered softly.

''Why do you feel like you need to go through that on your own?'' she asked analytically. ''Don't you think that's unfair to you?''

''No!'' she said harshly. ''It's not supposed to be his burden to bear.''

''But JJ,'' she interrupted. ''He loves you. You've told me multiple times that he's always around. He's willing to talk. I've talked to Aaron myself and I know he loves you more than anything. He would do anything for you. Why don't you want him to bear that one burden, but he can bear all the others?''

''This is different!'' JJ mumbled.

''How is it different?''

''It makes me look like a weak person. I couldn't defend myself. It just happened and there was nothing I could do about it.''

''So, you feel powerless?''

''I guess.'' she agreed. ''I know I was drugged and I don't remember most of it, but knowing that it happened is bad enough. I feel ashamed because of it.''

''To you the rape is like a death sentence somehow?''

''No,'' she stopped for a moment. ''I just think people will look down on me because it happened to me. I'm afraid that people will think I'm weak. I don't want Aaron to pity me.''

''I understand that, but you're not weak.'' she contradicted. ''You're here. You're trying to get better. You're talking about everything that happened to you. In the past six months we've talked about everything, JJ. That's not weakness. That's power and strength. I see you grow with each session.''

''I hope I'll believe that one day.''

''You already do!''

''I guess you're right.'' she nodded. ''I'm already letting people in. My friends have been becoming closer to me over the past few months. I'm slowly turning to into the person I used to be and I think there are multiple reasons for that.'' she explained.

''You say the people around you changed you. Could you tell me what each person has done for you individually? I think you'll be able to see how much better you're doing once you can say it out loud.''

''Okay,'' she said with a tenderness in her voice. ''Dave has been like the father I never had. He gives me advise and he acts like he doesn't care about what anyone thinks about me. He taught me that it's okay to be yourself.'' she thought about the next person. ''Reid…oh…Reid…Reid is a genius guy. He's a bit awkward but he can make me laugh no matter what. He's a nerd and he's just so caring. He has gotten to know me in a short time and I've gotten to know him. His openness taught me to be open.''

JJ took another zip of water before continuing. ''Morgan is harsh. He pushes me.'' she began. ''And Penelope. The crazy girl who can make me smile on my worst days. She always comes up with something wacky to do. She was pranking people over the phone to get a smile on my face. She's crazy wonderful. Emily has been an angel. She stayed in town when the team was away on cases. She showed me what true friendship is supposed to be. She actually reminds me of my sister. I see her like my sister. She has been through a lot in her life and she's still standing. I guess, she's my inspiration.'' she ended, knowing there was another person.

''And of course Aaron.'' she started. ''When I met him, I never thought he would turn out to be the love of my life. He broke my heart when I was eighteen. And I thought I could never recover from that, but I did. I met another man who showed me love, but I always thought about Aaron. He's given me so much more than I could've ever imagined. He accepts me for who I am. He makes me realize that I'm good enough the way I am. He's given me so much. He changed the way I look at life. He made me believe in true love. It has been the most incredible feeling to be loved by him.''

''That's what I wanted to hear. You just told me that you're good enough the way you are.'' she pointed out. ''Don't ever forget what you just told me. When you're feeling bad, I want you to think about what these people have given you because that's what made you into the person you are.''

''Yeah.''

''Well, our time is up.'' she said, looking at her watch. ''You did really well, JJ. Your process in astounding. I'll see you in two weeks.''

''Thank you!'' JJ said gratefully, shaking her hand.

JJ walked out of the office and she realized she was happy. She did feel better. She was herself again. She was enjoying life again. She had everything any person could ever ask for. She had a family. There wasn't more she could ever ask for.

JJ quickly made her way out of the building and onto the parking lot. She spotted the black SUV and she made her way towards it. She climbed in the passengers' seat.

''Hey!'' Emily greeted happily when she noticed the smile on her friend's face.

JJ smiled back and put on the seatbelt. ''Hi!''

''You look good, JJ.'' she complimented.

''Thanks. I feel really good.''

''Where's the sudden happiness coming from?'' Emily asked curiously.

''I don't know.'' she replied. ''I guess I'm just realizing that I have amazing people around me and I couldn't ask for more.''

''I know! I'm so amazing!'' Emily joked.

''Sure, you are.'' she joked. ''No, I'm kidding. You are amazing! I don't know how I could've done any of this without you. I don't know if I can ever thank you.''

''You don't need to. Plus, we're already at your apartment. It's a shame that your therapist is so close to your house otherwise we could've talked longer. But Hotch also asked me to not hold you hostage for too long today.''

''He doesn't like girl talk. Thanks for the drive. I'll see you next week.''

''Yeah. I'm so happy that you're going to work with us.''

''So am I.'' JJ agreed, stepping out of the car. ''Bye.'' she said and she closed the door afterwards.

JJ grabbed her keys from her purse. She quickly opened the door and made her way inside the warm apartment. She knew Jack was staying with Haley today. Fortunately, Hotch was able to see Jack more often. He was staying over at least two days a week. JJ saw Hotch light up when he could see his son. It was the best thing in the world to see.

''Hey, sweetheart.'' Hotch said affectionately as he walked towards JJ. He took her jacket and threw it on the closest chair. He put his arms on her waist and he leaned in for a gentle kiss.

''Hmm.'' JJ moaned into the kiss. She pulled away. ''Hi, handsome.''

''You look great! I thought we could watch a movie and have dinner afterwards.'' he said, pointing towards the comfortable couch.

''Sounds good.'' JJ said as she was being pulled towards the couch. She sat down next him and she made herself comfortable. Her head was resting on his shoulder when the movie started to play.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, JJ was already bored. She lifted her head up and she looked at Hotch who was focused on the screen. She leaned forward and put a soft kiss on his cheek. He wasn't responding and JJ decided it was time for some action. She stood up and pushed his legs together, so she was able to straddle him.

Hotch looked shocked as JJ moved onto his lap. ''JJ, what are you doing?''

She put her hands against his chest as she put a teasing kiss on his lips. ''What does it look like?'' she asked with a husky voice.

''You're teasing me! You know how much I hate teasing.'' he said. His arms went around her waist and he responded to the kiss. In that one kiss he could feel her love overwhelm him. The kiss intensified as she parted her lips. Her body was clinging to his. She was completely wrapped up in him. She belonged to him and that feeling was a gift.

''I love you.'' JJ murmured in between kisses.

''I love you to.'' he said as he softly kissed her neck. ''Bedroom?''

''Yeah.'' she answered.

The kiss was a sign of forever. Their souls, bodies and heart belonged to each other. No one could ever break them apart. Their love was something both of them had never known before. It was an overwhelming one. And neither of them was willing to let go of that.


	43. Chapter 42

**A/N: I had time! So, here's next chapter. This chapter is slightly M-rated! I think there will be about three more chapters. I would like to know how you guys would like to see this story end. I want to give it an end that you all like. I hope everyone likes it! **

**Special thanks to samcarter1980 and jenny crum!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**I don't own criminal minds.**

* * *

**Chapter 42: Plans**

Hotch gently put JJ down on the bed. Their lips were glued together the entire time. Her head was spinning as their bodies were wrapped up in each other. Each touch was intensified. She groaned when he pulled away. He climbed off the bed and started taking off his own clothes. The tension in her body was rising. She needed him. God, she wanted him more than anything. She could see the smile in his eyes take over his mouth. Her eyes moved to the floor once his boxers ended up there.

''I want you.'' he whispered as he slowly moved back towards the bed. His hands took a hold of her feet. He took off her shoes in an instant. His hands settled on her legs. He gently moved his hands upwards as they stayed on her legs the entire time. He unzipped her jeans and pulled them down.

The cold air reached her skin. A tingle went down her spine from the cold she was feeling. She felt his warm body move on top of her. Her hands slipped around his neck as he started to unbutton her blouse. The eagerness had taken over his actions and she was laying naked under him within seconds. His eyes darkened once he looked down at her. His expression made her shiver. She went back to staring at his mouth. She tried to stay in control, but that went out the window the moment his tongue started teasing her. His touch was tantalizing. She surrendered to his mouth. The rhythm became steady as his hands flew over her body like air.

''You're so beautiful.'' he groaned.

''You tell me that every single time and…'' she was cut off when his lips reclaimed hers in a fiery kiss.

''Because it's the truth.'' he said after a teasing kiss on her neck. ''You have no idea what you do to me.'' he said and his mouth moved along her collarbone towards her breasts.

JJ felt his arousal pressing against her stomach. ''Oh, I think I do.'' she laughed softly.

Sensation shot into her belly when his hands traveled down her body. She knew his teasing had only started. She could feel his mouth grazing and pinching her breasts. Her back arched against his body. A growl escaped his mouth once her hips started to beg him for more. She started teasing him back, knowing he wouldn't hold out much longer.

Hotch was losing his control. His hands left her body. He leaned down for a searing last kiss. ''I hate it when I have no control.'' he admitted in a whisper.

She sat up slightly. Her hands cupped his face. ''It's fine.'' she reassured, knowing he felt bad. ''I never want you to feel bad about anything.''

She felt his manhood pressed against her core. A whimper left her lips when he slowly pushed forward. He let her adjust to him. Once he started moving, it all went by fast. The feelings were overwhelming. His body was giving into her completely. He silenced her moans with short passionate kisses. His rhythm became unsteady when he was on the edge. He felt her body tightening around him and with one last thrust they were both driven over the edge. He collapsed next to her on the bed. It was like he could only see stars. All he could feel was love. Being with her was the best thing in the world. Nothing would ever be better.

She crawled against his side as his arms sneaked around her slender waist. His heart was still pounding from the aftermath. ''That was amazing.'' she breathed out.

''Yeah!'' he agreed. ''What has changed, JJ?'' he asked curiously.

''I've been feeling so much better in the last couple of days. I just realize that I'm so lucky to be with you.''

''I'm lucky that I get to be with you.'' he said, kissing the top of her head. ''After everything that happened it just amazes me that you're doing so good. You've been through hell and here you are. You're the strongest person I know. And I love you!''

She giggled like a little girl. ''It sounds really good when you say that. It makes me think about our future. When we were younger I never thought it would turn out like this.'' she lifted her head up to face him. ''I just think we have a future.''

''I know we do.'' he agreed. ''We'll get married one day and we'll have brothers and sisters for Jack. We'll grow old and watch our children grow up.'' he laughed at the thought of getting old. ''That's what I want! I want a lifetime with you. I wasted too much time already and I won't waste the rest. One day I'll ask you to marry me and I want you to say yes when that happens.''

''One day?'' she asked curiously.

''Yeah.'' he replied. ''When you're ready. I'm not going to push you into anything. You don't deserve that. We need to take our time.''

''Time passes by, Aaron.'' she explained. ''If there's one thing I've learned it's that there isn't enough time to spent with your loved ones. I don't want to wait, Aaron. I would rather get married in two months, instead of five years. I wouldn't want to go that long without being your wife.''

''Jennifer Hotchner.'' he thought out loud. ''It sounds sexy.''

''It does, doesn't it?''

''Hmmm!'' he said, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. He let go when he heard a knock on the door. They were both putting on some comfortable clothes before making their way into the living room. JJ took Hotch's hand and they walked towards the door together. Hotch opened the door without looking through the peephole.

JJ was surprised. ''James?'' she stuttered. ''What are you doing here?''

''I haven't seen you in seven months, JJ.'' he answered. ''I wanted to see you.''

JJ turned her attention to Hotch. ''Aaron, it's okay.'' she said, knowing he was worried. She could see it in his expression.

''I'll start dinner.'' he said and he made his way to the kitchen, leaving JJ alone with James.

''Why are you here?'' JJ asked again.

''Because…because…damn it, JJ!'' he said loudly. ''You're the only person who's left. All of my friends died and it's as if you died along with them. I never heard from you!''

''It's too hard, James.'' she started to explain. ''The CIA…you…and you…it reminds of the people I lost. The people I loved and I'll never get back. I've been doing so much better and I just didn't want to drag up the past.''

''I get it. I really do. You have your own life now. I understand.''

''It's good to see you!'' JJ said, hugging him. James was like family to her. He was the one person who had been there through all the good and bad. He wasn't always nice to her, but that was only because he needed to do his job.

''So, you're still not coming back to the agency?'' he joked.

''You're kidding, right?'' she asked with shock. She knew he was joking when a laugh formed on his face. ''I'm going to work with the FBI. The CIA and Interpol is in the past for me. I have something to live for now. I actually mean someone!''

''I can see. You look happy.''

''I know. How have you been?'' JJ asked as she gestured James to sit down on the couch but he kept standing.

''I've been good. I was just worried about you. I found out you weren't living at Nate's anymore, so I guessed you moved in with Hotchner. I'll leave, JJ.'' he said, turning around and making his way to the door.

''James!'' she called out. He turned around and faced her. ''I'll call you.'' she said.

''That's nice.'' he said before walking out of the apartment.

JJ closed the door behind him. She kept staring at the closed door until she felt two arms wrapped around her stomach. Hotch gently kissed her neck as JJ leaned into his body. She got lost in the sensation once again. ''I guess dinner has to wait?'' she asked, already knowing the answer.

''Yeah.'' he agreed. ''I want round two!'' he said, lifting her up in his arms. JJ wrapped her arms around his neck as he made his way back to the bedroom. She finally saw a future. She could see herself with Hotch the rest of her life. She couldn't wait to make it all even more real.


	44. Chapter 43

A/N: This is the last chapter. I want to thank everyone who read, reviewed, followed or decided to favorite this story. I had fun writing this. I didn't expect this to be the end, but it just came to me and I realized it was time to end this one. I have more stories in mind so I won't be gone long after this one.

Special thanks to jenny crum, samcarter1980, Rid3ThatChocob0 and PJBecker!

I love you all for reviewing so many times. It meant the world to me and I don't know how to thank you.

I don't own criminal minds!

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**Chapter 43: Afterglow**

**Two years later...**

JJ slowly walked the stairs until she reached the floor. She nervously made her way to the middle. She never expected to be there. In the two years that passed by a lot of good had happened. She got married and got pregnant. Now she was getting an award from CIA because of her loyal service for her country. She didn't prepare a speech. But she had enough to say anyway.

She took one step forward before she started to speak. ''I would like to thank everyone in the CIA for this. It's an honor to receive an award for my service with the CIA. I didn't come here today prepared with a speech. To be honest, all of this is quite the surprise to me. I don't want to say too much, but on the other hand, I do want to say a lot. Everyone I love is in this room today. And I want to thank all of you for being here today. You guys have been my rock through the years and I can't thank you all enough.'' she said, as her eyes stared into the all the faces of the people. The team was there and most of her former colleagues at the CIA.

''My life hasn't been a picnic. If I'm totally honest, I would say that I had problems ever since I was a teenager. My parents weren't the best parents. My father used to beat my sister and when he started with me, I ran. It was in that period of my life that I had a shoulder to cry on. It met Aaron Hotchner and my life took a turn for the better. I fell head over heels in love and I was starting a new chapter of my life. In those months I enjoyed every second of my life. It was good, like my life is now. But that period ended. My relationship ended the moment my new life started. I poured every ounce of energy into my school and it helped. I had an outlet. Something else to focus on. When I was in school, I had no idea what kind of work I wanted to do. So, I never expected to end up with Interpol or the CIA. My first meeting was nerve wrecking. The offices were intimidating as well as the people in their fancy clothes. I was caught off guard when I actually got the job. At first I loved it. I felt so free when I worked for Interpol. I traveled around the entire world. It was a freedom I had never known before. In that time I enjoyed my job more than anything. I didn't need a personal live. But I never realized how short real freedom can be and how important it is to enjoy every single second of it.'' she stopped there to catch some air. She looked in Hotch's eyes and she felt comfortable immediately.

''Two and a half years later, I was working on a joined assignment with the CIA. I met the team, I ended up working with for almost three years. It took me a while to get used to all the guys. But they treated me with respect and it was the first time in a long time that I realized what I missed out on. I finally had people in my life and it felt good. We worked on an operation that consumed all of our time. We all put a lot of effort into it. As time went on, I fell in love. Nate was exactly what I needed in my life back then. He challenged me and he loved me for who I was.'' She took another breath. Talking about Nate was still hard.

''But like everything else in my life, that love was short lived. An explosion in Iraq took away everything that mattered the most to me. I lost my family in one second. It was the worst day of my life. I didn't get away easily. Months passed by before I returned home safely. I woke up in the hospital after a long time and James told me about everything that happened. It didn't really set in, back then. I was given a leave of absence. Work was the last thing I needed in my life. But the case that haunted me never stopped. The people responsible for the death of my team, were still out there. I was in Chicago during my leave and I tried to find something again, but I just couldn't grab on to my life. Days went by when I just sat on the couch. I couldn't mourn. A feeling of responsibility kept coming back to me. And the thing that happened next was even more of a surprise. The person who broke my heart ten years prior walked back into my messy life. I was closed off at that moment and I wasn't willing to let anyone in. I was asked to head the unit that Leo Hawkins used to lead. It took me a second to say yes, but I did. My unit was counting on me. I wasn't the only person who lost family. They did to. I went back to work and started the investigation to find the people who were responsible. As time went on, I was ordered to work with the BAU. A lot happened. I found out my fiancé was alive. But not long after that I was running from the CIA to get revenge. I was arrested a few weeks later I got off easy. We found Nate, but he didn't live long. He died when were about to save him. I lost him again. Nate gave me so much. He taught me that I was good enough just the way I was. That I could be whoever I wanted to be. His death was unbearable. But I wasn't alone for long. I met the BAU team and they became great friends over time. They were with me through everything.'' She started stumbling and a tear streamed down her face.

''A lot of time passed by and I became depressed. I had everything a person could ever want, but I couldn't see it. I had a new family. A man who loved me and always had. But the despair and fear claimed my sanity almost every day. I started therapy to get over my past, which took months. But it helped and I slowly started to enjoy life again. I even joined the FBI. Suddenly I had everything again. Work, family and a man by my side. Work wasn't always easy. There were days when I was emotionally involved. Breakdowns were also part of my life every now and then. But I know that is to be expected. Everything that happened to me isn't easy. I'll never forget it, but I've learned to live with it. I have a new life. I have people I love.'' she said, her voice soft and gentle.

''And now I'm standing here today because I've been given an award by the CIA. Today is a day we need to remember what happened. Today is day of loss and gain. Today I want to honor the agents that died. Today I want us to remember Leo Hawkins, Nate Atkins, Alan Fox, Dale Steele, Dean Thornton and Antanio Gonzales. They deserve this award as much as I do, which is why I would like to dedicate it to them.'' she said and she looked into the eyes of an emotional James.

''And at last I want to thank my wonderful husband.'' she began. ''Aaron, because of you, I found myself again. Day by day I learned new things about myself. I realized that it weren't the things in my life that changed me, but that it were the people in my life. You're one of them. You gave me so much more than I could've ever imagined.'' she cried out. ''And it all started with a proposal during a pillow fight we were having with Jack. You proposed and we were married six months later. That day was perfect. That day I woke up and put on a white dress. Everything was perfect. But I didn't care about perfection. The only thing that mattered was the person waiting for me. When I looked into your eyes I knew everything was going to be fine. That my life was worth something. And it is. You gave me everything.'' she gazed into his eyes and all she could see was love. Jack was sitting on his left while Hotch was holding little Henry in his arms. She had a real family. A husband and two beautiful children. ''Thank you!'' she said at last and she descended the stairs.

Everyone was standing up at the same time. JJ received dozens of hugs. When she was finally done, Hotch came towards her. JJ saw Henry in the arms of Penelope while Jack was talking to Reid and Emily.

''Hey, beautiful.'' Hotch greeted gently. ''That was amazing, JJ.''

''Thank you. I love you.''

''I love you to!''

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The end!

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First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever.

Rosemary Rogers


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